by Susannah Nix
The reality was that she sat in a cubicle in a drab office building in El Segundo and spent a truly ridiculous amount of her day using Microsoft Office. The Sauer Hewson Aerospace facility where she worked had started life as an automobile plant in the nineteen forties before being sold and acquired by a half dozen different aircraft companies, most of which no longer existed. In the golden age of space exploration, some of the components of the Apollo service modules had been manufactured there. These days, the site was focused exclusively on satellites, which were a little less cool than the Apollo program—but between satellite television, radio, broadband, and mobile voice and data, they were big business.
“You’re twelve minutes later than usual,” Yemi said when Esther got into work the next morning. He was a design analyst who sat at the cubicle behind Esther. He was Nigerian, wore glasses with thick black frames, and could calculate square roots up to six digits in his head.
“There was a traffic light out on Overland,” Esther said as she docked her laptop. It usually took her thirty minutes to drive to work during morning rush hour, but today she’d underestimated how stupid people could be in the face of a blinking red light treated as a four-way stop.
Yemi turned back to his own computer. “You should take the freeway.” His accent was almost undetectable; he’d been born in Abuja, but his family had come to the U.S. when he was ten. The only time his accent came out was when he was talking to one of his parents on the phone.
“You know I don’t like sitting in traffic.” Esther reached up to check the bun she’d twisted her hair into this morning. She wore her hair in a bun almost every day, but she’d been in a hurry this morning and was afraid it might be lopsided.
“On average, you’ll spend five percent longer waiting at traffic lights than it would take you to get through rush-hour congestion on the 405. Your aversion to freeways is irrational and inefficient.”
“I’ll take it under advisement,” Esther said, smiling.
Some people found Yemi’s directness off-putting, but it was one of the things she liked best about him. He didn’t dissemble or try to hide what he was thinking. His honesty and practicality made him an outstanding analyst. She liked working with him, because she never had to waste time cutting through the bullshit or trying to figure out what he really meant when he said something. He always told you clearly and concisely what was wrong, and what you needed to do to fix it.
Esther spent a few minutes skimming through her email before opening up Excel and diving back into the spreadsheet she’d been working on Friday. When her phone vibrated with a new text message two hours later, she was so deep in concentration she nearly jumped out of her seat.
It was Jinny, asking when she wanted to take lunch. They worked at the same office, but Jinny was a network systems engineer on the deep space telescope project, and her cubicle was clear on the other side of the building, so they had to coordinate their lunch breaks via text.
Esther stretched her arms out and rolled her head from side to side, working the kinks out of her neck. “Hey.” She spun around and kicked the back of Yemi’s chair.
He was squinting at a heat map on his screen. “Hmmmm?” he replied without looking at her.
“Lunch?”
“It’s only ten o’clock.”
“I’m asking what time you want to take it.” Esther waved her phone next to his ear. “Jinny wants to know.”
He tore his eyes away from the screen and swiveled to look at her. “I don’t care.”
“I know you like to have a schedule.”
“As long as I know what the schedule is, I don’t care what it is.”
“What’s the special today?” Yemi always knew the cafeteria schedule. He memorized it every month when it came out.
“Lasagna.”
“Better go at eleven forty-five, then.” The lasagna was one of the cafeteria’s better offerings. There would be a crowd, and sometimes they ran out.
“Fine.” Yemi had already gone back to work.
Esther texted Jinny the time, got an affirmative confirmation, and plunged back into her spreadsheet. An hour later, Esther startled again when Jinny showed up at her cubicle.
“Pssst,” Jinny said behind her.
Esther dragged her attention away from the PowerPoint deck she’d been squinting at and swiveled her chair around. “Hey!”
“What do you think of this dress?” Jinny asked, twirling to show off the floral halter dress she was wearing. There was still a tag hanging on it.
“I think you look amazing,” Esther told her.
Jinny looked down as she fluffed the skirt. “I ordered it last week and it just came today.” She had all her packages delivered at work so they wouldn’t get stolen from her apartment building lobby. “I’m thinking of wearing it on my date with Jonathan.” She looked up, biting her lip. “Too much?”
“No, definitely not.” Jonathan’s eyes were going to pop out of his head.
Jinny rested her hands on her hips, frowning. “Tell me the truth—do you think it’s too soon to be dating after a breakup? It’s only been a week.”
“You’re not a Victorian widow,” Esther said. “You don’t need to observe a formal period of mourning for the relationship.”
“But I look so good in high lace collars and bustles,” Jinny deadpanned before her expression settled into a frown again. “Seriously though, am I rushing things? Maybe I need to spend some time alone, get over Stuart a little before I jump back into the dating pool?”
It was a valid point, but knowing Jinny, “spending time alone” was liable to turn into “taking Stuart back.” Rebounding as quickly as possible seemed like the safer course. She could always spend time alone after Jonathan had helped her get Stuart out of her system.
“Do you feel like you need to get over Stuart more?” Esther asked. “I mean, if you don’t want to go on the date, that’s one thing…but I thought you were excited about it.”
“I am.” Jinny twisted her lips to the side. “I was. I think I’m starting to have second thoughts.”
“About Jonathan specifically? Or about going out with someone who’s not Stuart?” Esther hadn’t cooked up the Jonathan plan to push Jinny into a relationship she didn’t want. If she genuinely didn’t want to go out with him, that was one thing. But if she was using her attachment to Stuart as an excuse not to move on, that was something else entirely. Something she needed help getting past.
Jinny thought about it. “The second one. I’m pretty sure.”
Esther nodded. “I think you should trust your first instinct, then. You don’t owe Stuart anything. If you want to go out with Jonathan, go out with Jonathan.”
Jinny broke into a smile. “You’re right. A cute guy asked me out. I should enjoy it. Screw Stuart. He shouldn’t have let all this go,” she said, gesturing at herself.
“Exactly. Screw Stuart.” Only not literally, Esther thought. Please, stop screwing Stuart.
“Hello,” Yemi said, coming back to his desk.
Jinny turned. “Hi!”
Yemi stared at her. “You, um…” He reached up and adjusted his glasses. “You look very nice. Very…beautiful.”
Jinny’s smile got even brighter. “Thank you.” She turned back to Esther. “That’s two yays for the dress. I guess I’m wearing it Friday night.”
“What’s Friday night?” Yemi asked, dropping into his chair.
“Jinny has a date,” Esther said.
He looked at Jinny, frowning. “I thought you and your boyfriend broke up?”
“Not with him,” Jinny said. “With someone new. One of Esther’s neighbors asked me out. A very cute neighbor.”
“Oh.” Yemi nodded and cleared his throat. “So…apparently the CEO is in the building.”
Jinny groaned. “Fantastic.”
Their company CEO was a woman named Angelica Sauer, and she was terrifying. She’d once stormed into a team leadership meeting, informed everyone they were incompetent, and had their catered
lunches sent away because they “didn’t deserve to eat” until they’d presented something worth her time.
As luck would have it, the El Segundo campus was the closest production facility to corporate headquarters in Glendale, so the CEO and other assorted executives graced them with semi-frequent unscheduled appearances. Whenever Angelica Sauer was on site, it made all the managers and team leads nervous. And when they got nervous, they made everyone else nervous.
Yemi nodded again. “Anil saw her at the security desk thirty minutes ago.”
“Maybe she’s gotten nicer since she got married,” Jinny said. “Maybe she was only mean because she was sad.”
Angelica Sauer had become CEO after her first husband, who had founded the company, died of pancreatic cancer a few years ago. But she’d just recently remarried—to the company’s CFO. The Sauers apparently liked to keep the business in the family.
“I don’t know,” Esther said. “I think it might be her management style. That’s probably how you have to be to run a company. CEOs aren’t usually known for being warm and cuddly.”
“Well, I better change and get back to my desk,” Jinny said. “Got to look busy in case the big boss wanders by.”
“So you’re definitely still going out with Jonathan Friday?” Esther asked.
Jinny nodded. “Might as well, right?”
Good. Jinny wouldn’t get back together with Stuart as long as she had a date with Jonathan on the horizon. At the very least, it would buy a few days.
Hopefully more.
“Hey,” Jonathan said when Esther opened the door. He was holding a sheaf of papers bound with brass brads, which he held out to her. “Here’s the script.”
“Cool.” Esther carried it into the apartment, leaving the door open for him. She tossed the script onto her Ikea coffee table without looking at it.
Jonathan followed her inside and closed the door behind him. “You can redline that copy, or type your notes into another doc, whatever’s easier for you.”
Esther nodded. “Yep.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I did pretty well last night, huh?”
“You did okay.” It wouldn’t do to let him get cocky this early. “You’re going to have to do better than okay on the actual date though. What are you wearing?”
His brows drew together. “I don’t know. I hadn’t thought about it. Clothes.”
“You should make an effort. No flannel. And no beanie either.”
“Seriously?” She wasn’t sure whether he was offended she thought he needed to be told not to wear a beanie on a date, or offended that he shouldn’t wear a beanie on a date.
“Seriously. What’s your hair look like under there, anyway?” She reached up and plucked the beanie off his head. He was taller than he seemed, probably because he did so much slouching. Esther was five foot nine, and she had to reach pretty high to get at the beanie, which meant he must be six one or six two.
She frowned at the mop of unruly hair that spilled out. “Okay, well, fortunately for you, Jinny happens to like her men vaguely disheveled. Just…put some product in it or something. And wash it.”
Jonathan snatched the beanie away from her and shoved it back on his head. “I’m not an idiot. I know to wash my hair before a date.”
“Where are you taking her?” Esther asked.
“I was thinking Tap 21.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Really?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“It’s kind of boring. And full of posers.”
“I eat there all the time.”
“I rest my case. Rule number one: stay away from any place that calls itself a gastropub—all that means is mediocre overpriced burgers. You want somewhere with character, that tells her something about you. You should take her someplace unique. Someplace you love. What’s your favorite place to eat?”
“In-N-Out?”
Esther rolled her eyes. “I said somewhere unique. Somewhere no one else would think of.”
He thought about it. “Doozo’s.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s this Chinese noodle place on Venice. Kind of a hole in the wall, but they’ve got this cool, Blade Runner vibe and killer dumplings. And the old lady behind the counter likes me.”
“That’s perfect. Take her there.”
He frowned, running his hand over his jaw. His face was heart-shaped, tapering to a pointed chin. He actually did look a little like Jake Gyllenhaal, if you squinted and didn’t look too closely. “Isn’t it weird to take an Asian girl to a Chinese restaurant?”
“She’s not Chinese, she’s Korean. And she loves Chinese food. It’ll be fine.”
He still looked uncertain. “Are you sure this whole thing is a good idea?”
Esther arched a threatening eyebrow at him. “Don’t you dare chicken out on me.” If he backed out now, Jinny would be so disappointed, she’d go running back to Stuart for sure.
Jonathan chewed on his lower lip. “It’s just…won’t she get pissed if she finds out you put me up to it and the whole thing’s a sham?”
“It’s not a sham. It’s just a blind date…under slightly modified circumstances.”
His weight shifted from one foot to the other as his eyes darted around her apartment. He looked like he wanted to pace, but was trying to restrain himself. “Is it really a blind date though, if only one of the people on the date knows it’s a blind date and the other one thinks it’s a date-date? Cause that seems a lot like a lie to me.”
“Think of it like a hybrid date—half blind date, half date-date. But the principle is the same as a regular date. You’re both trying each other on for size to see how you like the fit.”
“Yeah,” he said without enthusiasm.
“What’s the matter? You liked her when you met the other night, right?” Esther was getting impatient with all his second-guessing. He’d already agreed to the arrangement. She shouldn’t have to keep convincing him to go along with it.
He shrugged. “She seemed okay.”
Okay? Yesterday she was cute. Esther huffed, gritting her teeth. “Don’t overcomplicate it. You both like each other, and you’re going on a date. It’s as simple as that.”
“I guess.” He still looked unconvinced.
“Remember,” she said, crossing her arms, “your script notes are at stake here.”
He sighed, shoulders sagging. “Yeah, I know. Believe me.” He nodded at the script sitting on the coffee table. “You think you’ll be able to start on that tonight?”
“I don’t know,” Esther said. “Maybe. I don’t want to rush through it. I want to give it the attention it deserves. You know, really take my time and dig into the details.”
He nodded. “If you have any questions—”
“I’ll write ’em down,” Esther said, herding him toward the door. “We good?”
“Yeah. Okay.” He nodded half-heartedly. “I’ll see ya.”
“Good luck on your date!” Esther called out as the door closed behind him.
Later that night, Esther put on her favorite llama pajamas, settled into bed with Sally Ride curled up next to her, and flipped to the first page of Jonathan’s script.
It shouldn’t take any longer to read a screenplay than it would to watch a movie, right? So, like, two hours, give or take. Easy peasy. How bad could it be?
It was bad, she quickly discovered.
It was appallingly, offensively bad.
If Jonathan’s script were made into a movie, it would easily be the worst movie Esther had ever seen.
It was like if Michael Bay and Uwe Boll decided to write a screenplay together, got in a fight partway through, and gave it to Darren Aronofsky to finish—drunk.
She only got halfway through before literally flinging it across the room in anger.
This was going to be way more difficult than she’d anticipated. She didn’t know where start with her notes. The only way to fix the thing would be to scrub it from existenc
e entirely. How did you put that into feedback?
Why had she agreed to do this? If time machines existed, she would go back twenty-four hours and punch herself in the face for making this stupid bargain.
Jinny had sure better enjoy her date with Jonathan. She’d better like it a lot.
Chapter Six
Friday night, while Esther was watching the clock and waiting for Jinny to call and tell her how the date had gone, she forced herself to finish reading Jonathan’s script.
It was a Sisyphean effort. The thing was just so bad. So bad.
Esther didn’t know anything about writing per se, but she knew movies. She was a huge fan of movies, and she’d read a lot of movie reviews. She knew what made for a good movie, and she knew what made for a bad one.
This was a bad movie.
Under ordinary circumstances, she would have made the task more bearable by texting Jinny snarky updates about how incredibly bad Jonathan’s script was. But she couldn’t text Jinny about it because Jinny was on a date with Jonathan at that very moment. Also, if Esther wanted Jinny to actually like Jonathan, she needed to protect her from ever knowing how bad this script was. At all costs.
Originally, Esther had figured she’d do a quick read, then go back through it more exhaustively a second time as she made notes. But after her last failed attempt at reading the thing, she’d realized a second full read-through would be intolerable. So she started over from the beginning, taking notes as she went along.
She had a lot of notes. By the time Jinny called a little before ten o’clock, Esther had already filled ten pages of a Word document, and she was only two-thirds of the way through.
“Hey,” Esther said, pushing her laptop aside and answering the phone. “Are you home already?” It was a little early to call it a night. She hoped that wasn’t a bad sign.
“Yep,” Jinny said. “He just dropped me off.”
Esther sat up on the couch, propping her feet on the coffee table. “Well? How’d it go? Tell me everything.”
Jinny made a noncommittal noise. “It was okay.”
Uh oh. “Just okay?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s too soon to start dating again. Maybe I’m not over Stuart yet.”