“I could talk about it for three days and you still wouldn’t grasp its meaning.”
Jenna’s blood began boiling. “Why not? Did my brain suddenly disintegrate? Or maybe you just see ‘stupid’ written across my forehead.”
Bram’s dark skin became even darker as embarrassment flooded his system. “I’ve never thought of you as stupid. If you got that impression from what I said, then I’m sorry.”
“Fine. Since we both agree I’m not stupid, tell me what your great-grandfather meant when he said ‘the golden fox.’ Those were his exact words, I believe.”
“Jenna, it’s a Comanche…uh, thing. You really wouldn’t understand, and that doesn’t make you stupid.”
Jenna held her cup to her lips and glared at him while she took a swallow of tea. “It makes me white, doesn’t it?”
“We are what we are. Neither of us can change that.”
“I wonder if you would if you could. Don’t you enjoy being part Comanche so that you can strut around in your sheriff’s uniform and rub it in to people like my dad?”
“I don’t strut and you’re deliberately twisting the situation to taunt me. Remember one thing, Jenna. Your dad could have me fired if he took the notion.”
Jenna scoffed. “My dad’s not your boss.”
“He has powerful friends in high places, and if he pulled the right strings, believe me, I wouldn’t be sheriff for long.”
Jenna frowned. Was that true or just another of Bram’s ruses to keep the two of them apart? He’d had her this morning, and if that was enough for him…? Jenna had to swallow hard to keep from breaking down before Bram’s eyes, which would destroy every speck of pride she possessed. She picked up her cup and realized it was empty. Rising, she walked over to the counter where she’d left the pot, and brought it to the table.
Bram watched her every move. Her grace had a hypnotic effect on him, and he knew he was staring, but couldn’t seem to break the spell.
Jenna sat again, refilled her cup, then looked at him. “What?”
Bram fought his way back to reality and mumbled, “I have to go out and see to the horses. If Granddad wants anything, I would appreciate your telling him that I won’t be long.” Before Jenna could do more than nod, he hurried from the room.
Again Jenna heaved a sigh. Bram was the most discombobulating man she’d ever known. It wouldn’t have killed him to explain what George had meant with that golden-fox remark. And if she hadn’t completely understood its Comanche meaning, so what?
And yet, despite Bram Colton’s many faults, she was crazy about him.
“Oh, no,” she moaned, for that was the first time she’d admitted her feelings in such a down-to-earth way.
A tear seeped from the corner of her eye. How could she be crazy about a guy who believed heart and soul that they lived on opposite sides of a fence?
After a few minutes of silent suffering, Jenna got up and went to a window to catch a glimpse of Bram down at the pasture with his horses and Nellie. But neither Nellie nor Bram was anywhere in sight and, wondering what else Bram might be doing outside, Jenna went to another window, this one overlooking the driveway. Sure enough, there he was, fiddling with something through the opened back door of his SUV. Nellie was there, too, sitting as close to Bram’s boots as she could get.
Jenna sipped her tea and speculated on what he might have in his SUV that required so much attention. His backpack, which he obviously hadn’t used, was a possibility, but why on earth didn’t he just bring it in the house and unload it?
Bram was wondering what to do with the three old books he’d taken from the courthouse for safekeeping. Actually, he’d forgotten about them until he’d left the house a few minutes ago to tend the horses. Now, looking at them, he frowned and pondered their worth. Maybe they had no value at all, beyond their age, which didn’t necessarily make them of any use to anyone.
Turning around, Bram sat on the downed tailgate of his SUV to think about the books. Bob Kirby thought the three heavy old things might be valuable to historians, so Bram figured he should take that into account. After all, the man was an appraiser of all sorts of goods, wasn’t he?
From the window, Jenna watched Bram sitting there motionless. Was he thinking? she wondered. Maybe about them? Remembering the morning? Reliving their kisses and their passionate lovemaking, as she’d done again and again throughout the day? Had this morning meant something to him, after all, and he’d merely been pretending it didn’t?
Her body began tingling when she thought of him naked. She wanted him again with a surprising desperation. If only they were alone, she thought. She would knock on the window and motion for him to come in, and when he did, she would meet him at the door, kiss every inch of his incredible body and—and…
Her fantasy evaporated and her eyes widened when she saw him get off the tailgate, turn around, reach inside the SUV and come out with a blanket-wrapped bundle. From the way he was holding it, she guessed the blanket concealed something heavy.
With Nellie on his heels, Bram began walking to the house. After only a few steps he heard a car and looked to see who was coming. His brother Jared drove up and got out with a grin.
“Hey,” Jared called.
“Hey,” Bram said. “I’ve got to get this inside.”
“Need some help?”
“No, I’ve got it. Just open the door for me.”
“What’re you carrying in that blanket?”
“Three old books from the courthouse records room that miraculously escaped the fire. The insurance appraiser recommended they be put someplace safe for the time being. Today’s been nuts, Jared. Granddad’s inside with Gran, and I forgot about the books until just a few minutes ago. Anyhow, I’m going to store them in my bedroom for now and figure out what to do with them when I have more time. Where’s Kerry and Peggy?”
“They’re at Kerry’s mom’s. We’ve got company, some of Kerry’s family. I stole away before dinner to check on Gran. How’s she doing?”
“Not good, Jared.” They were on the front porch, and even though burdened with the old books, Bram stopped to talk a minute before they went in. “I’m really worried about her now. Granddad’s guardian spirit told him about a death in the family. It’s a long story, but that’s the gist of it. Plus, you gotta hear this before we go in. When I was getting close to his place this afternoon with the express purpose of telling him about Gran, I saw his pickup coming down that dirt road. I thought someone had stolen it, and prepared myself to arrest the thief. But it was Granddad driving again, heading for town and madder than hell that no one had told him who in the family was dying.”
“Has he ever been wrong in his predictions?” Jared asked somberly.
“Not that I can remember. Sometimes they’re hard to figure out, but what he said today was clear as glass.”
“Well, let’s not panic,” Jared said. “Wasn’t his last prediction before this one about you? Something about your not hiding behind your heritage, and listening for the coyote’s cry that would change your life?”
“Now that one is tough to figure.”
“I haven’t given it a lot of thought, but you have to wonder if it isn’t something simple and we just don’t see it,” Jared said. “Oh, well, have any of us kids ever really understood our great-grandfather?”
“I thought so. Are you saying you never did?”
“Hell, I don’t know what I’m saying. Ready to go inside? That looks really heavy.”
“It is.” Jared opened the door and Bram went in first. “Thanks.”
Jared saw Jenna and said, “Hello, Jenna.”
“Hi, Jared. Isn’t Kerry with you?”
“No, I came alone this time.”
“Did you know your great-grandfather was here?”
“No,” Jared replied, and Jenna saw the strangest look come over his face. “But something told me I should come here.” Jared tried to grin, but it came off pretty feeble, Jenna noticed. “A psychic message, maybe?
” he said in an attempt to joke about his unexpected visit.
Jenna noted that Bram had gone immediately to his bedroom, and when he came back he no longer carried the bulky bundle.
“Well, I’m going to go say hello to Granddad and Gran,” Jared said, and walked away.
Jenna ignored Bram and went into the living room and sat down. Much to her surprise, he followed her.
“What is it?” she asked, thinking that he must need something from her. Certainly he hadn’t followed just to be in the same room with her.
“I wanted to, uh, say something.”
He looked embarrassed again, Jenna saw, which made her wonder what his next words of advice would be, since telling her to ignore what George had said upon their introduction still made no sense to her. “Go ahead and say it,” she said with some caution.
“I just wanted to, uh, thank you for sticking around. I mean, after, uh, this morning, I wondered if you would still be here when I got back.”
“After this morning,” Jenna repeated quietly. “So you actually remember this morning?”
Bram’s spine stiffened. His thanks had been genuine and heartfelt, and she should have known that and not started to pick a fight about this morning.
“I remember it,” he said flatly.
“Astonishing,” she retorted. “I never would have guessed.”
“Jenna, damn it, you know how things stand for each of us. Why can’t you accept the facts of our lives?”
“Because your interpretation of the facts of our lives is totally ridiculous,” she snapped much too loudly. Instantly she calmed herself. “I’m sorry. I don’t yell at people and I certainly wouldn’t want your family hearing me screeching like a fishwife. But I’m so opposed to your biased point of view no matter who spouts it that it’s difficult to maintain my equilibrium. My hold on sanity,” she mumbled as a frustrated afterthought.
“My interpretation of the facts of our lives is realistic,” Bram said through gritted teeth. “You live in a damn fairy tale, where all the little princes and princesses are white and given everything money can buy. Lady, that ain’t life in Black Arrow! Grow up and smell the coffee.”
Jenna jumped to her feet. “My mother’s death was a fairy tale? My father’s intolerance is a fairy tale? You insensitive clod, my life was no easier than yours was. At least you had a large loving family to kiss your bruises every time you fell down!”
“I don’t intend to fight with you.”
“Well, you’re doing a damned good imitation of it.”
“You have one quick trigger finger, lady, which I don’t mind telling you I never would have believed about you before this.” Bram turned and began heading for the door.
“What did you think I was, a doormat for men to wipe their feet on? I stand up for myself because there’s no one else to do it for me. Unlike you, you jerk, who has more protective relatives than he can count!”
Jenna stared at the empty doorway that Bram had just gone through. Then she slumped down on the sofa and wished the earth would just open up and swallow her whole.
After a while she told herself to try to remember that he had expressed thanks for her staying to care for Gloria, considering the way he’d treated her this morning.
That was what he had thanked her for, wasn’t it?
She was still sitting in a forlorn heap on the sofa when Jared came in. Quickly pulling herself together, she got to her feet.
“No need to see me out, Jenna,” he said. “I have to get to my mother-in-law’s for dinner.”
“Yes, it is getting close to the dinner hour. Jared, help me out, would you? Should I ask your great-grandfather if he wants to eat dinner here or should I just go ahead and prepare something?”
“Don’t do either, Jenna. He won’t stay.”
“He won’t? Are you saying he never eats with any of his family?”
“No, of course not. He enjoys holiday get-togethers as much as any of us do, but he’s already in mourning. He will want to go to his own home, most likely within the hour. And part of his ritual for the dying is a special diet.”
Stunned, Jenna gasped out loud. “He isn’t mourning Gloria, is he?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“But why? She’s—she’s…” Jenna’s voice trembled and faded to nothing, for she herself was deeply concerned about Gloria’s frail condition.
“Jenna, Granddad knows things before the rest of us do. There’s so much to it that I doubt I could make you understand how I know that. But from early childhood all of his grandkids knew that Granddad was special and different from everyone else, even from our parents.”
Jenna couldn’t doubt Jared’s sincerity, and she appreciated his talking to her like an adult, an equal. Bram never quite did that. Of course, there was a lot more baggage between her and Bram than there was between her and Jared.
Tears filled her eyes. “If Gloria is truly that bad off, should I have her taken to the hospital, Jared?”
“Please, no. You’re taking excellent care of her and I believe she likes you.”
“How can you tell?” Jenna asked sadly.
“We all can tell. Leave her here, Jenna. She’s better off.”
“I…I know how much you all love her,” Jenna whispered.
“Yes, we do.”
“Is your great-grandfather in an agony of grief over it?”
“Granddad accepts death as he does life.”
“But you said he’s already in mourning.”
“It’s not the same as…Jenna, I hesitate to say white people, but that’s what it amounts to. Granddad knows Gran’s time is short, and he’s been chanting softly in the Comanche language. He will not weep or carry on. He will carry sadness in his heart for a while, but outsiders will not know it. Privately he will carry out some very old rituals, and if we bury Gran in the Black Arrow Cemetery, he will not attend the funeral.”
“Because…?”
“Because she will not have undergone the rituals of death practiced by Comanches for centuries. Jenna, I really have to go. Talk to Bram. He can answer your questions as well as I can.”
She walked him to the front door. “Thank you, Jared,” she said quietly.
“You’re welcome. See you soon.”
Jenna closed the door behind him just as Bram raced from Gloria’s bedroom. “Did Jared leave?” he asked.
“Just now, yes.” Jenna moved aside, as she could tell Bram wanted to go outside. Apparently he had something to say to his brother before Jared drove away.
Jenna liked the Colton family very much, and she could never deny how strongly Bram affected her. But for the first time in her thirty years of life in Black Arrow she grasped, at least vaguely, the many differences between herself and the Native Americans of the area. Obviously people such as her father could not deal with anything different from their own plodding path through life. How sad, she thought, feeling sorry for her dad instead of condemning his pitifully narrow point of view, as she usually did.
Outside, Bram talked with Jared through the driver’s open window of his car. “He wants to go home. I wish he would stay, at least for tonight. Maybe if you talked to him?”
“Bram, it wouldn’t do any good. He has to do what he has to do. You know that. It’s never been any other way. Damn it, man, you look like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. You should have let Uncle Thomas take Gran to his house.”
Bram shook his head. “No, I wouldn’t have rested a single moment if she was somewhere else. I’ll get through this, same as everyone else.”
“Well, it’s true the whole family is feeling the same pain,” Jared said quietly. “We’re all lucky to have Jenna Elliot on our team. She’s an especially nice person, along with being an exceptionally good and caring nurse. Don’t you agree?” When Bram looked away and avoided his eyes Jared added, “Hey, something’s going on between you two, isn’t it?”
Bram put one hand on the roof of his brother’s car an
d let his head drop forward. “She drives me crazy,” he finally said.
“But in a good way?”
“A good way? Is there anything good about insanity?”
“Oh, come on. She’s a stunning lady, and if you’re smitten and she’s not objecting, you should be thanking your lucky stars. Tell me if this is none of my business, but have you made love to her?”
“It’s none of your business.”
Jared chuckled. “That’s what I thought you’d say. Well, good luck, big brother.”
“Oh, there’s one other thing. Granddad said that when he found coyote, his guardian spirit, it wasn’t alone. There was also a golden fox, and then when he met Jenna he said plain as day, ‘the golden fox.’ Jared, if I hadn’t already been half-crazy before that, it would have done the trick all by itself.”
Jared let out a whoop of laughter. “Looks to me like love and wedding bells are closing in on you, bro. Accept your fate. Go with the flow. Jenna’s not only bright and intelligent, she’s a beauty. How could you do any better?”
“The flow, you pitiful excuse for a comedian, leads directly to Carl Elliot. Would you want him for your father-in-law?”
Jared’s expression sobered. “Sorry for joking around. No, I wouldn’t want Carl Elliot for a father-in-law. Bram, I gotta get moving. I promised Kerry to be back in time for dinner, and they’re probably all getting ready to sit down as we speak. Catch you later, okay?”
Bram stepped back from the car and waved his brother off. Watching Jared’s vehicle disappear down the road, he wished he hadn’t told him about Jenna, and George’s “golden fox” reference. His love life really was no one else’s business, not even his brother’s.
“Love life?” he muttered under his breath as he started back to the house. Was that what he should call the mess he was making of things between himself and Jenna—a love life?
Remembering his horses at the last minute, Bram whirled away from the house and walked at a fast pace down to the barns and pasture. “Go get ’em, Nellie,” he said, and off the collie went, diving under the bottom rail of the fence and running hell-bent for the huddle of horses on the other side of the pasture.
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