Jasper sat back in the chair and scrubbed his palms over his face. He’d barely been here two weeks, and only within the last few days had come to terms with the fact that it wasn’t a dream. The enchanting pair who had saved him and his sister, who had brought them to his parents, were real. And they wanted him as much as he wanted them.
Jasper swallowed hard as he lowered his gaze to Gunnar. He’d never wanted anything more in his life, but wanting it and vocalizing that desire were two different things.
“Do we have to . . . ah . . . is there some kind of formal ceremony, if I say yes?”
Gunnar chuckled. “Ursa are always looking for an excuse to throw a party, but it isn’t required. Simple consent is enough. And ideally, genuine feelings. Don’t say yes unless you’re positive you’re willing to commit. I need to know you really want us both.”
“But you two are about to leave. And I just got here. Mom and Dad . . . Jade . . . Emma . . . ” All the reasons he had for living were here.
Gunnar let out a dejected sigh. “Right. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have put you in a position to have to choose between us or your family. That’s not what I intended.” He stood and started walking toward the door, his eyes downcast, a defeated set to his posture. “Where did Autumn go after she left here? I need to break the news to her so we can get moving.”
“Autumn was never here. I haven’t talked to her today.” Jasper stood to follow him, wishing he could find the courage to say how he really felt—that he didn’t want Gunnar to go. That he didn’t want either of them to go, but he’d let them for the sake of allowing Emma to be with her own mates. The idea of going with them had never occurred to him, but passing back through the portal was a terrifying thought.
Gunnar stopped short of the door and turned to face Jasper, eyes narrowing. “Bullshit. She left me hours ago by the waterfall, said she was coming to talk to you.”
“Trust me, I’d know if she’d been here. And I wouldn’t lie to you. I could never lie to you.”
Gunnar’s brow creased and he rubbed his chin. He lifted his head, closed his eyes, and inhaled deeply through his nose. “You’re right, she hasn’t been here. It’s not like her not to follow through . . . especially knowing how much she wanted this.”
“Maybe she’s with Emma,” Jasper offered. “Come on.” He left the room with Gunnar following, the other male sniffing the air as he went.
They found Emma in her mother’s room, sitting quietly by the bed of the sleeping ursa queen reading a book. Jasper’s aunt would have days of relatively normal energy levels, and then spend an entire day too exhausted to interact with anyone. Ever since Emma’s mates had left the Sanctuary, she’d spent every moment she could by her mother’s side.
He and Gunnar paused in the doorway to the Queen’s room until Emma’s head rose. She smiled warmly and came quietly across the room. She ushered them back out onto the balcony and closed the door behind her.
“You two look good,” she said, gaze flitting between them both, one eyebrow raised. “Does this mean you finally came out of your shell, Jasper?”
“I wasn’t in a shell, Em. I was just . . . ” He clamped his lips shut and gave her an exasperated look. He’d always had trouble articulating that particular level of intimate detail to her, yet somehow she always managed to see right through him.
“You were just embarrassed by your lack of experience. I imagine Gunnar understands just fine. So, where does Autumn fit in? I hope you guys didn’t leave her out of the fun.”
Jasper was relieved by the mischievous glint in her eye. Apparently, she wasn’t pining away too much for her absent lovers. Her expression darkened when she took in the grave look in Gunnar’s eyes.
“You have bad news, don’t you? Don’t tell me you changed your mind . . . please.”
The quaver in her voice betrayed her anxiety. Jasper instinctively stepped toward her, but Gunnar reached her quicker, pulling her into his arms.
“No! No, don’t even think it, Princess. We have every intention of following through.”
An odd surge of envy went through Jasper at the sight of the pair of them hugging. Emma used to hug him like that. Gunnar had yet to hug him like that. Yet they both seemed entirely comfortable with the exchange. Gunnar comforted Jasper’s cousin deftly, murmuring repeated promises to her. He turned his head and looked at Jasper, a look of longing so profound Jasper nearly went and wrapped his arms around them both.
I want it, too. So much.
But he only stuck his hands in his pockets and looked away, swallowing hard to try to combat the tightness in his chest.
Down toward the other end of the long balcony, Jade came out of her room and started toward them, an almost frightened look on her face that caused a deeper dread to sink into him.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Emma relax and pull away from Gunnar, wiping her eyes.
“I’m sorry. I just miss them both,” Emma said. “It’s only been a few days since they left, but it feels like forever. How soon until you go?”
“I need to talk to Autumn about that,” Gunnar said. “But we can’t find her. Did she come to see you this afternoon?”
“No,” Emma said cautiously. Her brows creased with concern and the same speculative study that Jasper always saw in her when she’d encountered a problem that needed solving. “She said she had plans with the two of you. I actually hoped I wouldn’t see any of you for a while, to be honest.”
“With both of us?” Jasper asked. How had he not known?
A sly smile spread over Emma’s face. “She was secretive about it, but you were being dense and I think she’d come up with a plan to seduce you. Though it seems it didn’t quite work, did it?”
“Ah, no . . . ” Jasper said. “Well, maybe halfway?” He glanced at Gunnar, who smiled.
Just a few feet away, Jade halted and turned to grip the balcony railing as though to steady herself. Her straight, dark hair fell in a veil on either side of her face, hiding a pained expression. Jasper resisted the urge to go to her, too intent on hearing what Emma had to say about Autumn’s unexpected absence.
“I haven’t seen her, though. And if the two of you are here, I am at a loss. For the past week, she’s either been huddled up with Gunnar, scheming to turn you to the dark side, Jasper, or she’s been hanging out with me, trying to get all the dirt on you. Though I suspect the second thing was more for my sake than her own. I love telling your secrets.”
Jasper’s face heated. Emma didn’t know the worst of his secrets, but the idea of his cousin, whom he loved beyond measure, sharing his life story with the woman he wanted more than life made him just a little bit nauseous.
“Where else would she go?” Jasper asked, looking at Gunnar hopefully. In spite of the worried knot in his gut, she couldn’t have simply disappeared after this afternoon, could she?
“She was determined to turn you around. That’s what I know. To convince you to come with us when we leave,” Gunnar said. “So if she isn’t here . . . ”
Jasper frowned. “Where was the last place you saw her?” The sudden conviction that he needed to find her now sent a surge of adrenaline through his body strong enough that his limbs trembled. Fuck, if Autumn was missing, he’d turn over the whole fucking forest to find her.
Gunnar’s gaze shot to Jasper’s, his intent as clear as day. An itch seeped into Jasper’s belly, but he tamped it down. Jade’s posture at the other end of the landing couldn’t be ignored. Something was wrong.
“I’m with you,” he said to Gunnar. “Just give me a moment.”
Gunnar glanced in Jade’s direction and nodded. “Hurry,” he said.
When Jasper stopped at her side, Jade turned and wrapped her arms around him in an embrace so tight, Jasper’s breath was crushed from his lungs. He held on just as tight, sensing some glimmer of fear that he didn’t quite understand, but k
new couldn’t be unfounded.
“Do you know something about Autumn?” he asked.
Jade shook her head, rubbing her face against his chest. Hot wetness stained his shirt just before she pulled back.
“Only that you’re going to go to her and I might not ever see you again. I know you love her, Jas. The same way I know you fell for that asshole coach of yours so long ago.”
He blinked down at her. “What do you mean you know? I haven’t told anyone. I never told anyone about that . . . other thing.”
Jade sniffled and gave him a sad smile. “I know. I guess we both had our little secrets, huh? Mine is that I’ve always known everything about you. Because I have this weird connection to you. I thought I’d lost it when we came through the portal, that you’d died. I wanted to die, too, if you weren’t part of my world.”
Jasper stared at his sister, struggling to find words. “I don’t understand. What connection?”
She rested a palm in the center of his chest. “I’ve been in here your whole life, Jasper. I know now it’s some kind of magical twin thing. Mama says as much. That female twins always have this bond to their sibling. The male twins don’t have it, so I just have to tell you that I understand if you have to go.”
The deep sadness in her tone caused a cold weight to settle in his chest. His throat nearly closed up and his eyes burned from the look of resignation on her face. Why in the world would she even think he would leave her?
“I’m not going anywhere! We just have to find Autumn and then I’ll be back. Why are you so scared? Damnit, you’re scaring me now.”
Jade took a shaky breath and pulled farther away, her expression growing even more distant. “You love her. You love Gunnar, too. I know as much as you do that you’ve never felt that way for anyone in your life. Jas, you’ve always been mine and Emma’s protector growing up. It’s time for you to be that for Autumn. It’s okay if you can’t come back. Just knowing you’re out there and happy is enough for me.”
He glanced over the balcony railing to the wide-open doors of the lodge below. Gunnar paced back and forth before them casting impatient glances up at him. Jasper swallowed thickly. This was a mistake. He couldn’t leave his family. Not yet. Jade hadn’t been wrong about his instinctive need to protect the females in his life. His sister and cousin had always come first.
Just as he began to shake his head, Jade’s hands shot up and gripped him hard by the ears.
“Ow!” he said, staring down at her in irritation. She hadn’t done that in so long he couldn’t remember the last time that fierce grip had held him. She only ever did it when she had a particularly important point to drive through his thick skull.
“Jasper! You have to go! Yes, I’ll miss you, we all will. But you can’t back out of this. This is not negotiable!”
“All right! Just let go of me, will you?” He clasped his hands around hers. It was an effort to pry them off his head, but before he could, she yanked him down and kissed him squarely on the mouth before letting him go.
“I love you,” she said. “Please be happy, for me, okay?”
The itch to run returned and he jogged to the staircase, looking back at her with a smile. “I love you, too. Both of you.” He gave Emma a quick wave when she came up beside Jade and wrapped an arm around her.
He couldn’t bear to look at them now, though. Jade’s smile came through a torrent of tears and she turned and buried her face in Emma’s shoulder. Emma looked as bewildered as Jasper felt.
“Are you coming or aren’t you?” Gunnar called from the doorway.
The voice called back the deep ache of worry in Jasper’s chest and he nodded, picking up his pace and following Gunnar out the door.
“Run, brother,” Gunnar said as he passed through the front doors of the lodge and ripped off his clothes.
Gleaming, white fur covered his body a split second before he morphed into his bear form and took off.
“Fuck, Gunn, I can’t keep up with you like that!”
“Then shift!”
Jasper took off running, pissed as hell at being left behind. He ran, keeping the white blur of Gunnar’s bear solidly in his sight. When the shape faded too far, he panicked. He couldn’t lose Autumn. If something happened to her, he had to be there, had to prove to her that he did want her. That he loved her . . . for saving him and his sister, for every sweet, solicitous moment he’d shared with her since. He’d been too overwhelmed, too shy to respond, yet she always persisted.
The afternoon’s sweet, lost promises caused a low growl to rise from his chest, even as he ran. His cock throbbed. He wanted her, and right now, he was terrified that something had happened to her.
As he ran, an odd tightness gripped his chest and his legs. He stumbled and righted himself. His shirt was too tight so he ripped it off. He stumbled again, breathless. His fingers dug into the ground as he caught his breath. He had to catch up to Gunnar, had to find Autumn. But his body wasn’t cooperating.
Fuck! Why did he feel so fucking heavy? He just wanted to move.
The second time he simply stayed all fours, found a comfortable pace, and ran, dimly conscious of his jeans ripping and falling off him. He was more aware of the deafening roar that bellowed from his throat, meant to signal to Gunnar that he was keeping up. He sped on four huge paws down the path, anxious to catch his friend, his lover, and to find the female who had seen fit to choose them both as her mates.
Chapter Five
Wood smoke tickled at Autumn’s nostrils, followed by the sharp crackle of a nearby fire. She opened her eyes a crack and inhaled a little deeper to gather as many details about her surroundings as possible.
The harsh combination of scents was nothing like summer in the Sanctuary. Immediately around her were aromas of a winter cabin. Besides the wood smoke, the air was filled with the acrid scent of damp wool and mud. Beyond that lingered the fumes of fossil fuel and the very unique, and always surprising, sharp tingle of electricity—more a sensation than a smell.
More present than any of those aromas was the warm, spicy scent of her old lover. She tried to ignore the abrupt tightness in her chest. The old hurt had dimmed over the last two centuries, but the scar hadn’t faded as much as she’d hoped.
His silhouette sat hunched before the fireplace, face buried in his hands. She had an irrational urge to go to him, wrap her arms around him, and provide what comfort she could. She might have, if it weren’t for the very definite fact that he’d abducted her and taken her through the portal. For what purpose, she couldn’t even fathom.
With a soft groan, she sat up, wrapping the itchy woolen blanket around her shoulders.
Aidan’s blond head shot up and he stood. “You’re awake. Good.”
Autumn eyed him, perplexed by the sound of utter relief in his voice. “Care to explain what the hell you’ve done? And more importantly, why?”
He clenched his strong, square jaw, the muscles of his stubbled cheeks flexing in the firelight. His piercing blue gaze darted away momentarily, then back at her, landing with an intensity far deeper than she’d ever seen in the years they’d been together.
“I need your help. And I needed you to not say no. I’m sorry for the threat, but you are my last chance.”
Autumn only stared at him, her mind struggling to process the odd mix of attraction, regret, love, and sadness. Not to mention surprise at how desperate he seemed. She remembered him as a very determined, rebellious young man. She’d loved him for it—for disregarding their elders’ warnings and agreeing to run away with her so long ago. Her idea . . . her regret. Not his. Yet he still bore the weight of it as much as she did.
He picked up his chair and carried it to the side of the bed, sitting again and resting his elbows on his knees. A lock of his straight, dark-blond hair fell over one eyebrow, and Autumn resisted the urge to brush it away, to caress away all his worrie
s like she used to when they were young. But they weren’t young now. And they had far too much hurt in their past to ever be so tender with each other again.
“Mother’s threatening to disown me, Autumn. She says I’m cursed to never find love again—that I’ve displeased Gaia somehow, and that’s why no female has willingly chosen me, why you rejected me when we were young.”
So he hadn’t ever told his mother the truth about them. That revelation surprised her, but perhaps it shouldn’t have. It wasn’t as if she’d been able to speak about what they’d done to anyone, either.
“Aidan, you know that isn’t true.”
“Do I?” he asked bitterly. “You haven’t found a mate, either, in all this time. How can you be sure we aren’t both cursed?”
Autumn worked to keep her voice even, though she wanted to blurt out that she had found a pair she cared for more than anything.
Ignoring his question, she said, “What do you expect me to do about it? I barely even speak to my own mother anymore, and that isn’t exactly possible now that you’ve brought me outside.”
“I didn’t want to risk your fathers, or anyone from the Stonetree clan, finding you too soon.” Aiden narrowed his eyes and his lips drew back in a sneer. “Or fucking Gunnar Windchaser.”
The bitterness that tinged his utterance of that name made her draw back. “What the hell do you have against Gunn?”
“Emma Stonetree choosing me would have proved to my mother that I was worthy of a powerful female. Gunnar’s such a fucking do-gooder, of course he managed to preempt my mating with the Princess. Fucking white-haired martyr. I was so surprised when I found out he gave you up for her. He’s probably been in love with you since he first opened those freakish red eyes of his. But he’d never resist a chance to be a hero. At least I know he won’t follow us here, if he’s mated to her.”
Autumn suppressed a smile at how apt Aidan’s description of Gunnar was. He clearly didn’t have all the details, though. Still, being disowned was a devastating threat for an ursa as highly ranked as Aidan. It meant exile, and he’d be stripped of his name. No other ursa female would choose him, and his offspring would have no claim on his birthright. They’d be allowed back into the Sanctuary when they came of age, but only as part of the lower class. Aidan himself would never be allowed to return.
Bitten (Black Mountain Bears Book 2) Page 4