by Lilly Wilde
“Someone like me. Humph.”
“What’s that reaction about?” I asked.
“We all have a way of perceiving ourselves,” he said. “And then there’s the way others perceive us. At times, those two perspectives fuse. And we become another person entirely. I never thought I was someone who bought into what others saw or thought of me enough to where it could cause me to pull away from you. But in retrospect, there was a significant part of me that saw myself as this fused being. That’s the person I thought you wanted—that you needed. I know you’ve said that it wasn’t my looks or my legs or any of those superficial parts that made you love me, but on some level, those had to play a part—at least that’s what I told myself. But never again will I define myself by the physical, especially in relation to my role as a father or a husband. That’s not what makes a husband, and it sure as hell isn’t what makes a parent.”
“So you finally realize that?” I asked.
“I do, and as difficult as this has been, it was necessary. It was supposed to happen. I needed it.”
“How so?”
He grimaced. “I did what I wanted, didn’t give much thought to what I left behind.”
“I don’t think I understand,” I said.
“With Nadia, with you, with the merger. For whatever reason, I did what I thought was best and I didn’t allow myself to ever think of the damage it could cause. But through all of this … the accident, the paralysis, the separation, the counseling … I’ve grown to see the world through brand new eyes.”
“How so?” I asked.
“When we were apart …” he shook his head, “ …my world was dark; it was as though there was no sun. There were moonless nights where the stars refused to shine, and you might have thought it was easy for me, but every day seemed to drag on and on. The nights were even worse. I wanted you beside me, every night, but I’d convinced myself that you were better off without me.”
My heart clenched. “Are you trying to make me cry?”
“I’ve done enough of that, but I need to tell you this. I had a lot of time to think. About my mistakes, my need to have things my way, the messes I’ve made. And I realized that I was more like you than I thought. You always said you were afraid of being vulnerable. I think I was, too.”
“It is kinda hard imagining you being anything less than what the entire world sees, but I think we all have vulnerabilities,” I said. “And we all make mistakes. I’m just thankful that we’re learning from them.”
“And if you’re willing to keep me, even in the midst of my repeated failures to get things right—and whether it be with my legs in working order or not—I’ll never leave your side again.”
“Good, because my side gets kind of cold when you’re not there to keep it warm.”
“I knew our relationship would be tested,” he said. “Did I expect it to be tested so soon? No. Did I expect to fail that test? Certainly not.” Aiden pushed back from the table. Stepping in front of me, he grasped my hand and knelt at my feet. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a ring. It was a platinum band with red diamonds that matched the one I already wore. “I’m offering you this ring as a new promise, a new vow. When we married, you said you’d never freeze me out and that’s exactly what I did to you. So an amendment is in order. From this point forward, I will never freeze you out, even if I think it’s for your own good. I will work with you, and together we’ll decide what’s best for you … for us.”
He kissed the ring after sliding it on my finger. “Each time you look at this ring, remember this day. Remember my promise … remember my love.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Whispering waves splashed along the shore as the salty scent of the island breeze wisped around us. My husband and I soaked in the peaceful serenity of the island, swaying back and forth in adjacent hammocks nestled beneath the thick grove of palm trees. With the thumb and forefinger of my right hand, I rotated the new piece of jewelry Aiden had placed on my ring finger. As I pondered the meaning of his words, I was reminded of the role I’d played in our breakdown. I was guilty of the same thing of which I’d accused Aiden. I hadn’t been true to my vows either—I’d shut him out.
Thinking back, I could easily see why Aiden had fallen off course. He’d been hit by something he hadn’t prepared for—something all his knowledge and power couldn’t fix. And it had knocked him down before he’d even started out the gate. Aiden knew how to handle a business deal gone wrong. He possessed the cunning edge to maneuver hostile takeovers. Those were walks in the park for him, but what had he known of being a husband? Just as little as I’d known of being a wife. So, like me, he’d worked through his issues in isolation. It was easy—practically effortless—to articulate promises in the presence of happiness and good fortune. But the true test rested in the challenge of maintaining those words when you’d been hit with the worst. And that’s what Aiden and I had faced—the most horrific and dire of circumstances. And instead of keeping our promises, we’d reverted to type.
Even after the therapy, when I’d had the tools to repair my relationship with Aiden, I’d refused to do it. Instead, I’d found I was closing off parts of myself again. Afraid of what was coming, and feeling we wouldn’t be able to face whatever it was. But I’d been wrong. Aiden and I could face anything. We’d once told each other those very words, and it was time we put action behind them … and that time was now. We’d suffered a tremendous loss—one that would always remain with us—but we were still standing. We’d been torn apart by distance and physical constraints, our very lives had been threatened, and we’d taken on the Raine patriarch. We’d gone through it all, and we were still standing. Because that’s who we were. Sienna had gotten that part right: together, Aiden and I were unstoppable.
“Why so quiet? Are you trying to figure out why you put up with me?” Aiden asked.
I giggled. “That’s exactly what I was thinking. However did you guess?”
“Seriously, have you ever asked yourself that?”
“Hundreds of times.”
Aiden sat up. “So?”
“So what?” I asked.
He reached for my hand and tugged me from the hammock. “Why do you do it? I mean, we both know my tendencies.”
My comment had been somewhat of a joke, but Aiden’s tone was serious. He really wanted to know. I looked up, studying him, reflecting on the question that caught me off guard, and then I finally replied, “Because sometimes you get it right. And when you do, it’s such a heartfelt display of love that it’s practically impossible to see or feel anything but you. And once you’ve felt something as deep and raw as that, nothing can erase it. Nothing.”
He fell silent, his mouth slightly agape.
Did he not know how deeply he’d penetrated my soul? How could he not? “You’ve made me walk through a door I swore I’d never open. You’ve made me vulnerable. And even after the pains and sorrows we’ve suffered, I’d never want to change that. I’ve risked it all for you. I’ll always risk it all for you.”
His gaze searched my face, his vivid green eyes deep with emotion. “God, I love you,” he said.
“Just as I love you. I’ll never stop loving you, Aiden. I once thought I had a heart that love couldn’t find, but that was never true. My heart was simply waiting for you.”
He pulled me close, holding me tight against his chest. “And there’s no me without you.”
For endless moments, we stood wrapped in each other’s arms, saying nothing … only feeling. I never wanted to let him go and I never wanted to forget how it felt to be so close, so connected to the mirror image of my heart. Exhaling a sigh, he finally released me from his embrace. He was smiling, and his eyes were soft and tender. “I don’t think I ever told you that I like your hair,” he said, sifting my brown locks through his fingers.
“No, you never did.”
“What made you change it?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Guess I wanted something differe
nt. I’d grown tired of looking in the mirror and seeing the person whose entire existence seemed to be one long-ass battle.”
His palm cupped my cheek. “I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
*****
I’d thought Aiden was gone so when I stepped into the bedroom, I was surprised to find him lying on the bed … naked. I gasped, halting my steps as I clutched the top of my towel. Almost on instinct, my eyes darted to that area they probably shouldn’t have. What was he doing? If he was trying to communicate that he was still suffering the side-effects of the accident, it was definitely not the way to do it.
Interlocking his hands, he placed them behind his head as he watched me. A sexy smile curved his lips as his gaze followed mine. “Touch it,” he said.
“What?”
“Touch my cock. I know you want to.”
Obviously, I’d been wrong about his condition, and now, finally faced with the object of my desire, I was seemingly frozen in place.
“Come on, Aria,” he coaxed with an arrogant grin. “I know it’s a bit daunting, but you can’t possibly be afraid of my cock.”
My gaze moved along his torso, traveling at a slow, sensual pace until finally resting on his manhood. It lay heavily against his thigh … growing, swelling and revealing the veins that coursed its length. My mouth watered and my heart started to beat in an unfamiliar pattern.
“Since you haven’t moved, I’m guessing you don’t want it,” he teased.
My eyes flew to his, but I remained planted by the door, wondering if I should do as he’d asked. Wondering if I should touch it.
“Make love to me, Aria,” he said, halting my thoughts.
“What?”
“You’ve told me how much you love me,” he said. “So show me.”
“You want me to …”
“I want you to do whatever you want. I want you to take control. You need it as much as I do, so why not share it? Would you like that?” he asked.
Kingston had been in working order all along, which meant Aiden had been waiting for the right time. This must have been the other surprise he’d referred to; he was giving me something I’d asked for when we first started dating.
He extended his hand. “I think this would work much better if you were just a tad closer.”
Shaking off my mini-stupor, I stepped over to him. As I reached for his hand, he grasped the bottom of my towel, pulling it away. “Better,” he said, his eyes darkening as they slid over my body. “Do you want me?”
I swallowed. “Yes.”
“Show me.”
He really wanted me to lead us to an orgasm. He was voluntarily submitting himself to me. This wasn’t like our visit to Seducente, when I’d liquored him up and practically begged for his submission. This time he was yielding of his own accord, and I knew all too well how he hated giving up that type of control—even to me.
I joined Aiden in bed, and he positioned his hands underneath the pillow. As I straddled him, the lips of my sex grazed his abdomen. The slight contact was enough to tease the part of me that was already so close to the edge. Unable to resist, I ground my pussy over his taut skin, moaning and panting as his eyes followed me. The heat of his gaze was on my face, sliding down to my chest and then lingering on my breasts. I looked down at them, too, getting hotter as I watched my nipples harden for him. That’s what he did to me … with his eyes alone.
I felt the familiar heat between my legs that accompanied the quickening thump of my heart. It was so loud—it was beating to a rhythm of a woman in heat. A woman who wanted to lose control. I was moving back and forth and then side to side, teasing myself and wetting Aiden’s stomach. I could have easily come if I didn’t stop. And I tried to, but Virginia had already taken the reins. I stroked my cleft against the contours of his abdomen, rolling my hips, circling faster and plunging deeper, inviting my clit to join the party. The stiff bud, stimulated by the repetitive friction, was the point that broke me. Unable to hold back, I let it go, whimpering as I gave in to the orgasm and let my juices lace Aiden’s stomach.
With my breath labored, I looked down at him. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. This is your party,” he said, his mouth curving into a slow, mischievous smile.
I sure hoped he meant that. My eyes fell to his seductively wicked mouth, and I leaned down to kiss him, caressing his soft, full lips as my hands cradled the contours of his jaw. My kiss grew deeper, loving the way he held back, allowing me to take the lead. I kissed him like it was the last kiss I’d ever have. It was slow. It was soft. It was deep. I slipped my tongue into his mouth, giving it to him as I awaited his. When he surrendered it to me, I claimed it as my own, sucking and moaning as I drifted further into our own special paradise.
Aiden’s throaty groan enveloped me as I broke our kiss. As my tongue moved over the scruff of his jawline, I eased my hand down to find the long, thick hardness of his arousal. Kingston was ready to reclaim what was already his. I stroked his length, my fingers moving up and over the head of his cock, moistening the thick crown with its own special brand of lubricant.
“It’s yours. I’m yours. Take it,” Aiden whispered, his velvet tone sending chills across my skin.
I lifted my body over his and re-introduced his delightful juices to mine. After one full plunge, I stopped—severing our physical connection. I wanted him to ache for me. I wanted him to want me so badly that he felt it in his soul. My mouth moved over his skin, breathing in the scent of him as I traced my tongue along the length of his body.
I held his big, beautiful cock in my hands as I looked up at him. “Tell me,” I whispered, my lips sweeping over the wide crest of his manhood. “Say it. Again.”
“Make love to me, princess.” He reached for me, grasping my hands and guiding my body over his.
Our faces were close, our lips almost touching. I loved this. I loved him. He really wanted us to be equals in every way possible, even in the privacy of our bedroom.
I leaned in closer, inhaling his breath and stroking my tongue across his bottom lip. When he opened for me, I slid my tongue into his mouth. Moans surrounded us as his hands moved over me, a strong, but tender touch that caressed my body. Softly. Gently. And my kisses mirrored his touch. My lips brushed his cheek and then his neck, sweeping my tongue across the seductive musk of his skin. Aiden groaned, whispering my name as I placed my lips flush to his nape and bit into his skin.
He gasped, his large hands gripping me tighter, his thick cock pulsing against my thigh. I started a slow tour of his body, my kisses sweet and wet as I trailed my way to the pecs of his chest. Stopping to flick my tongue over his nipple, I nipped at it with my teeth and my hand snaked down his body, to reach the passion of his manhood.
Aiden hissed as my fingers curved around him, moving up and down his length, stroking and caressing as my grip rotated between firm and soft. I traced the light dusting of hair at his abdomen, gracing each smooth ripple of exquisitely toned muscle with a soft, wet kiss. I moaned, my fingers clutching his thighs as his love, his passion called out to me. And I answered, crawling toward his body, my eyes melded with his and telling him a story of two lovers, of a husband and a wife, who were ready to reaffirm their love.
I positioned myself between his legs, my hands grasping his ankles, and guiding them up so that his knees were bent. “Can you remain in this position for me?” I asked.
“That depends. Are you planning to give me a reason to?”
“I’m going to give you the very best of reasons, baby,” I said and smacked his left cheek.
Aiden’s eyes widened.
That’s right, Mr. Fuck Me. Now it’s my turn.
“Don’t get too carried away,” Aiden warned.
“Calm down,” I said and smacked his backside again. “I’m going to make you feel real good, Mr. Raine.”
I placed a palm on the back of each of his thighs and pressed down, holding him in place. He was perfectly exposed. I had a full view—and access�
�to his ass.
He’d said I could do whatever I wanted, and although his tone was calm and reassuring, I knew a great deal of anxiety accompanied the exchange of control. With a man as dominant as Aiden, I expected nothing less. Hoping to soothe his disguised apprehension, I pressed my lips against the taut skin of his buttocks, endowing him with soft reassuring kisses. He was smooth and hairless—a thoughtful preparation that indicated his previous objections weren’t as unwavering as I’d thought.
I inhaled the musky scent of his skin, moaning as I led a trail of kisses to the puckered opening of his rear. With the tip of my tongue, I outlined the constricted band of tissue. To my surprise, he didn’t resist … in fact, quite the opposite. The length of his muscular thighs relaxed, granting me his consent.
He exhaled a breath, releasing the air he’d been holding, and my hands cupped his cheeks, kneading and caressing, as my tongue traced the seam of his anus. Another low sound stemmed from his chest, and he further relaxed into the sensation of my tongue fluttering over his firm opening. I was patient. I was soft. I was gentle. I was confirming that tonight wouldn’t be the impassioned coupling that exploded into fits of uncontrollable lust. Tonight was about our mutual respect. Tonight was about a newfound trust. Tonight was about a never-ending love.
As his groans surrounded and captured me in their embrace, I concentrated on making this as special for him as it was for me. Preparing him for my entry, I laced the tight hole with my saliva. When he was nice and wet, I pushed the tip of my tongue inside him, moving back and forth with slow caresses. He gasped my name, urging me to give him more, so I did, sliding my tongue deeper inside him.
Deep grunts resonated from his frame. The salacious noises intensified the ache between my legs. It was an ache that had grown several times over in the weeks since our reconciliation. I was anxious. I was hot. I was hungry for the love of my husband. I trailed my way upward and gripped his cock. He was hard as steel and he was throbbing with an intensity that pushed me further. Pumping his length and quickening my thrusts inside him, his erection throbbed in my hand and his bottom pushed into my mouth. And then he was coming. His body jerked as he growled my name, his cock constricting as thick drops of semen erupted, falling on my hand and his skin.