When I set out on my journey, I had one thing on my mind. And I promise you that finding love wasn’t it. (LOL) I wanted to meet the man that loved my Mother and I prayed that he’d be selfless enough to share my last days with me since I had no one else. I honestly thought that it’d be like finding a needle in a haystack. I never suspected that I’d find Benjamin, and that he’d be so wonderful. It was like having a Dad that took care of me. He did so, with his whole heart. He loved me when I had no other family. It takes a special kind of Man to do that.
Along the way, I met you. You were fast-talking, experienced, man-bun, with the sexiest face I’d ever seen. You swooped right into my graces like a bird. I thought that there was no way someone like you would ever be interested in someone like me. I didn’t want to admit it at first, but I had the biggest crush. When you said that you were going to call, I truly hoped you wouldn’t. I didn’t want to get caught up in the losing my heart drama. I didn’t want anyone to get close enough to me to get hurt, because I knew what was going to happen. You did it anyway though. You stole my heart right out of my chest. You big thief!
When I pictured my last days on earth, I thought I’d be alone. I never suspected that I’d gain love, and friendship, and the most fun I’d ever had. But I got all of that with you. I hope that you will always know how much you impacted my life. Carry that with you always.
As I lay here dying, the only thing I can say that matters is I LOVE YOU. I love you so much that I wish I didn’t have to die. I wish that I could marry you, and have kids, and buy a house with a big backyard. I wish that I could grow old with you, and watch your long hair turn gray. But I can’t. You’ll always be in my heart as hopefully, I am in yours. I want you to take the money I left you and go back to school. I want you to meet someone new and fall in love again. I want you to have lots of beautiful babies. It is in your cards. You will not die a young man. You’ll grow old and experience life to the fullest. I want that for you so badly. Please make it happen. It’s my last wish.
Thank you again for loving me and kissing me and showing me a piece of the world that I never got to see before you. I love you with all of my heart and soul, and I hope that one day I’ll see you again.
Spread your wings Bo, and soar.
All my love,
Your Tori
The end
Bonus Material
Benjamin’s letter to Candice
Dear Candice,
If you’re reading this, I want you to know I’m okay. I’m safe and alive. This foreign soil is much different, and I find myself lying awake many nights thinking of you. Things between us ended as quickly as they started, and so many things were left unsaid.
My Mom said that she’d heard you moved back to Carolina, and she was going to try her best to track down your address for me. I mailed this letter home to her, but I hope that it is able to reach you at some point. I need you to know that I haven’t forgotten about you, that I pray each night that I make it home safely so that I can see your face again.
I wish things would’ve happened differently, but I know everything happens for a reason. I chose to fight for my country and you chose to see the world. Our paths were going in such different directions, but I’ve always hoped that they’d lead us back to one another.
I loved you. I still love you. You are the light that keeps me going. Every day is a battle, but I know I can survive because of you.
The dust is heavy here. The noise is earth shattering and at times I’m scared. I’m not afraid to admit it. But even though I’m scared of the things I see, the screams I hear, and the outcome of tomorrow, I am most scared of never seeing you again.
Somewhere along the line, we lost sight of things that mattered most. Maybe it was because we were young and naïve. Maybe it was because we had our priorities mixed up. But I carry the weight heavily in my heart. The regret. The hurt. It’s all I think about. I want you to forgive me. Please forgive me, and the way we parted.
As I lie here on my bunk each night, I think about our last summer together. I wonder if you think about it too. It was the most fun I’ve had in my whole life, Candice. The concerts, the water fights, the late night dinners. I will never forget those memories. Thank you for that. If not for you, I wouldn’t have these wonderful thoughts to get me through the long, hot nights.
I sure hope this letter finds you, and that you always remember how much I love you. No matter what! Through the good times, and bad, and for all the years to come, please remember. I love you my sweetheart. There is a special place in my heart for you always.
Until I see you again.
All my love,
Benjamin
Acknowledgements
I have so many people to thank. First I need to thank my husband. He’s been a rock through this entire book. I love you babe, and I’m so glad you’re on my team. Also my kiddos whom I love more than anything, they’ve been such troopers. We’ve had a few less movie nights, but they’ve been so understanding. We’ll make up for lost time with lots of movies and swimming. I can’t wait.
To my best friend Micalea, you are my partner in crime. I love you so much. Even though I tell you all the time, I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re one of my biggest supporters and it means the world to me. Can’t wait to see you again soon.
The cover designer for this book Regina Wamba is a genius. I was originally going to use this cover for a dystopian book but changed my mind, and I’m so glad I did. She worked her magic and the cover turned out perfect. Love you Regina!
My beta readers who’ve been with me through many books, Raquel and Shelby, I love you girls. Thank you for working with me on another story. I trust your opinions and love your input. Thank you so much!
My street team “Regina’s Royals” is filled with some wonderful women. I love you all so much and I can’t thank you enough for all of your support. You’re all Royal in my book.
Last but not least are the readers. Without you guys this wouldn’t be possible. Thanks for reading my books. Thanks for the warm messages, and the sweet reviews. You Rock!
About the Author
Regina is a contemporary romance writer from Kentucky. She lives there with her husband, dog, and cat. You can find her behind her computer, a good book, or watching sports. She loves to hear from her readers. Find out what’s coming next by following her Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/AuthReginaBartley?ref=hl
Continue reading for an excerpt from Micalea Smeltzer's When Stars Collide.
When Stars Collide
Micalea Smeltzer
CHAPTER ONE
Thea
Holy mother of all hangovers.
I’d succumbed to the lure of Vegas and gotten completely wasted. Granted, that’s what everyone did in Las Vegas, but I like to think I usually have more sense than the social norm.
I rub my eyes and blink them open. The hotel room comes into formation around me. The walls are a warm golden color and the flat screen on the wall plays some home improvement show. I can see the bathroom from the bed—the tiled walls and large soaking tub.
I roll over onto my side, hoping I can sleep off the hangover, and reel back.
“Oh, my God,” I cry, flailing in bed.
My legs kick the sleeping guy beside me.
Not just any sleeping guy.
Oh, no.
Xander Kincaid, my brother’s best friend, lies in the bed beside me.
His dark hair tumbles over his forehead, and his cheeks are covered with several days’ worth of scruff. His chest is bare and … holy shit. He’s naked.
I look down.
Oh, God, I’m naked too.
“What’s wrong, baby?” he asks, reaching his left hand out to pull me closer to him. That’s when I see it.
“Is that a wedding band?” I scream.
His eyes narrow. “You don’t fucking remember?”
I shake my head and look at my own hand. A thin silver band rests on
my finger. “What did we do?”
He sits up in bed, and I try to ignore how adorably rumpled he looks with his hair sticking up.
Everything begins flooding back to me in quick bursts.
Drinks.
Kissing.
Laughter.
Confessions of love and desire.
A wedding chapel.
Vows.
Rings.
A contract.
“We’re married,” I whisper. “Holy shit.” It’s all I’ve ever wanted—to be with Xander—but not like this. Never like this. “My brother is going to kill us.”
Xander’s face contorts with … is that irritation?
“Why does it matter what your brother thinks?”
I scoff. “Because he’s my brother and your best friend.”
Xander clenches his jaw and looks away.
I tumble from the bed and scour the floor for my clothes. I can feel his eyes on me, but I don’t dare look at him for fear of turning into a tomato. I find my dress and slip it over my head. Fuck a bra, I just need some clothes on.
I hold my hands out in front of me in a gesture of I have this under control when I definitely don’t have this under control.
“I’m sure we can just go back to the chapel and undo this. I mean, this is Vegas. If you can get married in a drive-thru you can get divorced too, right?”
“Divorced?” He looks appalled that I’d suggest such a thing.
I laugh, but there’s no humor in the tone. “We can’t stay married.”
He shakes his head roughly and bunches the sheets in his hands. I nearly groan. His hands … his hands had felt like the best kind of sin when he touched me last night.
“Why not?” he asks, and I know him well enough to see that he’s straining to stay calm.
“Because it would be wrong.” Doesn’t he know that? “My brother—”
“Dammit, Thea,” he snaps and anger pulses in his dark gaze. “Leave your brother out of it. I’m talking about you and me.” He flicks a finger between the two of us, and his wedding band reflects the light pouring in from the open window. I can’t believe this is happening. This is the kind of thing you read about celebrities doing, not normal people like Xander and myself, but shit happens. His voice softens, and he looks at me tenderly. My stomach flips. It’s the same one he’s given me for years, the one that makes me yearn and ache for more, and now that I have it, I’m trying to throw it away. “There’s always been something between us. Don’t deny it.”
I swallow thickly, my pulse racing. “I know.” I sigh heavily. “But it’s not like you asked me on a date to see where things might go—we got married. Marriage is a big deal.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” He stands and I avert my gaze to the ceiling, even though I want nothing more than to check out his perfectly toned body from years of playing football. I can remember running my hands over his abs and grabbing his ass, crying out—
“Thea?”
Suddenly, he’s right in front of me, and I can see every amber fleck in his brown eyes.
He takes my face between his hands, and I know I shouldn’t let him touch me—my brain turns to mush any time he does—but I’m frozen to the ground. His intense gaze alone is enough to hold me captive.
“Why are you fighting this?” His breath is a tender caress against my face. He touches his lips tenderly to mine, and my traitorous body curves into his. His chest is still bare, and his skin is warm beneath my fingers. It’s soft like silk and I stroke my fingers against the dents in his stomach like I’m playing an instrument. He rests his forehead against mine and I fight to keep my composure. Xander’s kisses set my world afire and bring color to everything. “Why?” he asks again.
“This is a big deal; how can you not see that?” I defend and shove him away slightly. I can’t think straight with him so close. All my brain can focus on is his slightly woodsy scent and the feel of his lips against mine.
His dark brows knit together. “I know it’s a big deal—I don’t take marriage lightly, but…” He lifts his hands in a gesture of I don’t know. “You and I … There’s always been something between us. Some spark that we’ve both fought for so fucking long, and, Thea?” His shoulders sag. “I’m tired of fighting. Maybe this is fate’s way of finally bringing us together.”
“Fate?” I repeat in a whisper. “I didn’t know you believed in such a thing.”
He shrugs and lifts his hand to reach for me but lets it drop like he’s scared I’ll reject his touch. “I have to believe there’s some bigger reason for this,” he admits and looks down at the ring on his finger and then on mine. “Don’t you think?”
I look away. I can’t stand seeing the hope and yearning in his eyes. It’s killing me because I want him. I want this. I want an us. I’ve known Xander since I was in diapers. We grew up together and even though he’s my brother’s best friend, he’s always been my friend too. He stars in almost every memory of my childhood and as we’ve gotten older he’s always been there too. I’ve dated here and there and always compared the guy to him—which meant my relationships never lasted long because no one was ever as good as Xander.
Before I can reply, there’s a knock on the door and then the nob rattles. “Thea, get up. We have to get breakfast and leave. I can’t get Xander up. He probably found some hooker and is passed out in his bed. I’m going down to the lobby to see if they’ll give me a key to his room. You better be ready in thirty minutes,” my brother, Cade, says through the closed door.
My eyes, widened with horror, dart to Xander who stands there with an amused smile. I glare at him and mouth, “Hooker? Really?”
He knocks on the door again and says, “Are you up?”
“Yeah,” I call back with a shaky voice. “I’m up.”
Xander bites his lip to hold in his chuckle. I’m glad someone finds this amusing.
“Good,” he says through the door. “Thirty minutes.”
I hold my breath and listen to the sounds of his feet against the floor heading away. I sag in relief and Xander busts out laughing. My arm snaps out, and I smack my hand against his stomach, which only makes him roar with more laughter.
“You better grab your clothes and get back to your room before my brother discovers you’re not in there.”
He shrugs. “Let him.”
I throw my hands up. “How can you be so blasé about this? I know my brother has threatened you numerous times about coming anywhere near me.”
He picks his shirt up off the floor and tugs it on. “I’m not going to let your brother keep me from what I want, and I want you,” he says huskily, his eyes lingering on my lips.
The way he stares at me makes me feel like a small frightened animal backed into a corner by the big bad wolf.
“We have to ditch him on the way to the airport,” I say suddenly. “We have to find the church we got married in and see if they can undo this.”
Xander’s jaw clenches and he looks away. I know I’ve made him mad because I’m not willing to accept this is our fate. I’m not going to lie, I’ve dreamed of marrying Xander on more than one occasion. It was all I hoped for as a little girl when he was the dark-haired boy across the street who shared his animal crackers with me and carried me home when I fell off my bike. But I never imagined it would be like this—that I would barely even remember it.
“Whatever you want,” he mumbles, not meeting my gaze.
I stand frozen and watch as he grabs his phone and slips his jeans on over his boxer-briefs. He pauses at the door and I expect him to look back and say something, anything, but he leaves. I can’t say I blame him.
***
I take a quick shower, washing the scent of Xander’s body from mine in case Cade can sniff it out like a bloodhound. I feel sick to my stomach that Xander walked out of my room with things still unresolved between us, but I can’t see why he doesn’t see the issue. I’m nineteen. I only have one year at college under my belt, and beyond that, I have
no clue what I want to do with my life. A marriage makes things even more complicated.
I dress comfortably in a pair of black leggings and a loose gray tank top. I twist my long hair back into a sloppy ponytail and swipe some gloss on my lips. I pack my bags hastily, and I’m almost done when Cade reappears at my door, knocking loudly.
“I swear to God, Thea, if you’ve fallen back asleep—”
I groan and run to open the door. “I’m awake and ready. I’ll meet you in the lobby in five minutes.” I purposely position my body so that he can’t see in the room. It’s still a mess with evidence left behind that I don’t need him to see.
“Fine,” he groans. “I’ll be downstairs getting breakfast.”
I watch him retreat and then close the door.
Before I can make it back to my suitcase, there’s another knock on the door.
“Cade, I’m going to punch you in the face,” I seethe and swing the door open, ready to maim my big brother. “Oh, thank God. It’s you.” I step aside and let Xander back in the room.
“Do you need help with your bag?” he asks.
“I’m almost done packing.”
I hate the awkward tension hanging in the air between us. It’s never awkward with us, not like this, at least, and I hate it. When things get bad, I’m used to running to Xander and having him wrap his arms around me and tell me it’s going to be okay, but not this time.
“I’ll wait.” He gives me a slight smile and I know he feels the tension too.
I finish packing and Xander paces around the room, looking to make sure he hasn’t left anything behind in here. There are a few condoms scattered on the floor—let’s just say we were making up for a heck of a lot of lost time last night—and he picks them up to throw them away.
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