Even though he’d been so drunk he could barely stand. Yes, it was embarrassing. For her. It didn’t matter that they were dating now. They hadn’t been then. She still wasn’t sure what she’d been thinking, what possessed her to be so…so…she didn’t know what.
So yeah, she didn’t want him to remember. Which only proved that sometimes she really was as silly as Randy accused her of being.
They made it to her apartment, Justin leaning against the wall as she thumbed through the keys in her hand. Then they were inside, Justin leaning even more heavily against her as they moved to the bedroom.
“You should have just taken me home. I don’t expect you to take care of me.”
“I’m not. I’m just going to keep an eye on you. Doctor’s orders.”
“Bullshit. That’s not what he said.”
“Close enough. Come on, into bed.” She grabbed the comforter and sheets with one hand, pulling them back as she tried to balance Justin’s weight. He sighed, a heavy sound full of tired impatience, then lowered himself to the edge of the mattress.
“I need a shower.”
“You need to lie down for a little bit.”
“Val, I’m disgusting. All I’ve had since the game was a sponge bath.” He tried to stand, wincing when he jarred his arm. “Just let me cleanup—”
Val put her hand on his shoulder, stopping him. “Later. First you need to take some medicine and lie down.” She helped him take off his shoes, then eased him back on the bed and pulled the covers over him.
“You should have just taken me home.” Justin repeated the words, probably for the tenth time. Val didn’t bother replying, knowing whatever she said wouldn’t reassure him, no matter how many times she said it. Especially now, with Justin’s eyes closing, with his face creased even more in pain. She grabbed one of the extra pillows and eased it under his arm, then hurried out to the living room. Justin’s prescription was in her purse, so she pulled it out and read the directions. One to two pills every four hours as needed.
So should she give him one? Or two? She hesitated, then finally shook out two before going into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water.
She went back to the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed at Justin’s side. Yeah, if she had been smart, she would have gotten his medicine first. Now he had to move again. “Do you need help sitting up at all?”
“Hm?” His eyes fluttered open, his gaze unfocused at first. He blinked, blinked again, let out a heavy sigh. “No. I’m good.”
He took the pills from her and tossed them in his mouth, then accepted the water. She watched as he drank, the muscles in his strong throat working with each swallow. Why had she never noticed how sexy a man’s throat could be?
And oh God, why was she even thinking like that right now? It had to be the stress of the past forty-eight hours, the lack of sleep and worry. She hadn’t wanted to admit it before, but she had been worried. From the time she’d seen Justin get slammed into the boards, saw the extent of his injury, found out they were going to operate. Everything had happened so fast, too fast.
She took a deep breath, calming her racing heart and fighting the sudden urge to just collapse. To just crawl into bed next to Justin and sleep for the next twenty-four hours straight. But she couldn’t, not yet.
She took the bottle from his hand, capped it, then placed it on the nightstand where he could reach it. She needed to let Justin sleep, let the medicine go to work. Then she needed to wait for Mat to show up with some things from Justin’s place. Fix dinner, since they both needed to eat. Something light, not too heavy. Then she—
“Hey.” Justin reached across and grabbed her hand, pulling her from the growing list in her mind. She looked over at him, absently chewed on her bottom lip when she couldn’t read the expression on his face. “You okay?”
“Me?” She almost laughed. Justin was the one lying there, his left arm shattered, held together with pins and plates. And he was worried about her? Yes, she almost laughed. Except suddenly her eyes were burning and she had to blink back the unexpected moisture filling them. She looked away and ran a hand across her eyes, hoping Justin didn’t notice. Only she wasn’t fast enough because he tugged on her hand and tried to push up on his elbow, all at the same time.
“Valerie, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She forced herself to take a deep breath, to blink away the ridiculous tears, not sure why they were there to begin with.
“It doesn’t look like nothing. Hey, come here.” He pulled her, not easing up until she was laying half on top of him, her head half on his chest and half on the pillow propping up his arm. She tried to sit back up, tried not to lean on him, but he was running his good hand through her hair, stroking the back of her head down to her shoulder. Over and over, slow and steady. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”
She finally relaxed against him, careful not to touch his arm. His heart beat under her ear, steady and strong. Reassuring. She took another deep breath and shook her head. “Nothing’s wrong. Honest. I’m just…I guess I’m just tired.”
“You could always climb into bed with me, snuggle until I fall asleep.” She lifted her head and looked at him, surprised at the boyish smile on his face. “That should be in about two minutes.”
“I can’t. Not yet.”
“I knew I should have taken a shower.”
Val laughed, the sound surprising her. But she didn’t care because it pushed away the irrational emotion that had seized her moments ago. “You don’t stink. I need to wait for Mat, then fix dinner. And—”
“Val, you’ve done enough. You need to rest, too.” His gaze slid away from hers, his eyes unfocused as he blinked, then slid back to hers. She could tell he was trying to keep his eyes open, trying to fight the effects of the medicine.
“I will.” Val leaned up then moved forward, just close enough that she could press a light kiss against the corner of his mouth. “Get some rest, Justin. Don’t fight it.”
“Mm. Not yet.” He tightened his arm around her, pulling her closer as he turned his head, his mouth capturing hers with a quickness that surprised her. The kiss was deep, gentle, comforting. And still enough to send heat spiraling within her.
Then Justin pulled away, his head falling back against the pillow, his eyes closed. He murmured something, the words soft and slurred, as his good arm slipped from around her shoulders. Val stayed there for a few more minutes, just watching him, feeling the rise and fall of his chest against hers, the steady beating of his heart under her palm. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss against the hollow of his throat, then stood and walked away, pulling the door closed behind her. Not all the way—she wanted to hear him if he called out, if he needed anything.
Then she walked down the hall to the spare bathroom, flipped on the light, and stared into the mirror.
What the hell was wrong with her? The woman looking back at her was too pale, her complexion even paler against the black of her hair. And her eyes. Too wide, rimmed in red. She looked like a caricature of Morticia Addams, minus the boobs and sex appeal.
“Oh for crying out loud.” Val shook her head then turned on the faucet. She leaned forward and splashed cold water on her face, over and over until her skin felt frigid. She patted her face dry then opened the medicine cabinet, searching for some eye cream. Most of her cosmetics and supplies were in the master bathroom, but she usually kept extras in here, just in case Alyssa or Jodi or another girlfriend slept over. Which was a good thing, since she needed the help right now.
She smeared some of the cream under her eyes, sighing at the cool sensation, then capped the lid and walked out. It was only a little after four in the afternoon, but it felt so much later. Should she fix something to eat now, or wait? Probably wait. Justin just took the medicine, he’d probably be out for a few hours at least. Okay, so dinner could wait. What else should she do? A shower, definitely. A nice long hot one. But not yet. She had to wait for Mat but she had no idea when he’d ge
t here. Was he already on the way? Or was he going to stop by later? Why hadn’t she thought to ask him?
Val stood in the middle of the living room, suddenly feeling lost. She wasn’t usually home at this time of day. Honestly, she wasn’t usually home for any length of time, period. She had the restaurant to run so that’s where she spent most of her time. Home was mostly just a place to sleep now. She didn’t have free time, so she had no idea what to do.
On top of that, she was trying to deal with what happened to Justin, trying to make sense of what she was feeling and the emotional roller coaster of the last two days. And that was just it: it didn’t make sense, none at all. He hadn’t been near-death. It wasn’t a serious accident. Well, maybe serious, considering he’d be sidelined from playing for a while. Maybe a long while. But it still wasn’t life threatening, so she couldn’t understand why she felt this way, so shaken and out of sorts.
Val moved to the sofa and sat down, curling her legs under her before hugging one of the throw pillows to her chest. The reason for the emotional upheaval was right there, hovering just out of range. And she knew that if she looked hard enough, she’d find it.
But she didn’t want to, was afraid of what she’d discover if she did. Oh, who was she kidding? Part of her already knew the reason, she just didn’t want to admit it. Not to herself, not to anyone.
Val had no idea how long she sat there like that, staring off into space. Long enough that her legs were beginning to fall asleep. And long enough that the sound of the doorbell startled her, making her jump and sending her pulse soaring in surprise.
Val tossed the pillow to the side, calling herself an idiot for being so surprised, for acting so startled. There was no reason for her to jump, not when she knew Mat was coming over. And sure enough, there he stood, a duffel bag slung over his shoulder, looking only a little uncomfortable as he stood in the hallway.
Val stepped back, motioning for him to come in. She almost laughed when he glanced over his shoulder, hesitating, like he was worried someone would see him.
“How’s he doing?”
“I guess okay. He’s sleeping right now.”
Mat dropped the bag next to the sofa then turned and watched her, his green eyes shadowed, curious. “How are you doing?”
The question caught her off-guard. Why would he be worried about her? Unless she looked worse than she thought. Val shrugged and ran a hand through her hair, giving him a small smile.
“Fine. Why?”
“Just checking.” Mat shoved his hands into the pockets of his frayed jeans and looked around. She got the impression that he didn’t miss anything, that he was looking deeper than the surface, seeing things nobody else did. It was a weird feeling, one that didn’t make any sense. It was just her apartment, nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary to see.
He motioned to the bag then looked at her. “I wasn’t sure how long he’d be staying here, so I packed a couple changes of clothes. A few pairs of sweats. And I grabbed a couple of button-up shirts. I wasn’t sure how easy getting a t-shirt on would be, not with his arm.”
“Oh. Good thinking.” Val shifted in the silence, glancing down at the bag then back at Mat. “Would you like something to drink? Tea? Soda? I think I have some beer—”
“Get rid of it.”
Val blinked, not sure she heard him correctly. “I’m sorry, excuse me?”
“The alcohol. If you have any, get rid of it.” Mat studied her for a long minute then lowered himself to the sofa, sitting on the edge with his hands loosely clasped between his legs. He motioned for her to sit, watching her as she took a seat in the matching chair across from him.
Silence stretched between them, long and uncomfortable as he just sat there, watching her. He finally sighed and straightened, then ran a hand through his thick hair.
“I’m not going to mince words, Val. We both know Justin went through some serious shit a few months ago and tried to hide it with all his partying.”
“I know, but—”
“No, let me finish.” He looked around again then took a deep breath and blew it out. “This injury—it could do a number on his head, Val. The doctor told him he could be out for six months. I don’t think he’s going to take it too well when it sinks in.”
“Oh.” Val glanced down the hall to the bedroom, a knot of tension and dismay forming in her stomach. Six months. Justin had told her three. Had he deliberately kept the truth from her, deliberately lied? Or was he merely hiding from the truth himself?
“I didn’t say that to make you worry.”
“Oh. No, it’s okay. I understand. I’ll, uh, I’ll make sure there’s no alcohol around.”
Mat nodded and looked away. He rubbed one hand against his jaw, the scrape of his palm against his beard the only sound in the room. Apprehension filled Val as she watched him, wondering what else he was going to say. A few more minutes went by before Mat finally looked at her again, his green eyes too serious.
“I’ve known Justin for a few years. He’s a good guy. But this…” He paused, looked down at his hands and took a deep breath, then looked back up. “If he starts giving you too much shit, if it gets to be too much, send his ass home, Val. I know that sounds cold, but I know how Justin can get.”
Val stared at him, sure her mouth was open in surprise. Whatever she had expected Mat to say, that wasn’t it. Especially not from Mat. Wasn’t he the one the team had started calling “saint”? At least, that’s what she thought she heard a few of the guys say. Maybe not. Maybe she was wrong, especially after hearing what he’d just said.
Val looked away, her attention suddenly focused on a small snag in her yoga pants. She pulled at it, then brushed her hand over it, smoothing it down. Pull and smooth. Over and over while she tried to think of something to say, tried to think how to respond.
What could she say? Nothing came to mind. Nothing except worry. First Randy had cautioned against her getting involved. Now Mat was warning her as well, though for a slightly different reason. What did those two know that she didn’t?
And why was she certain that she saw Justin in a different light than either one of his teammates? No, her instincts couldn’t be wrong. They never were.
Or was she just trying to convince herself of that? And if so, why?
No, she wasn’t wrong. Maybe she did see Justin differently, but that was because she knew him differently. She knew a different side of him, a side he didn’t share with his teammates. Her instincts were never wrong. They weren’t wrong now, she was sure of it.
She finally looked up at Mat, not surprised to see him watching her. She straightened her shoulders, tried to unclench her jaw. “I’ll remember that, but I’m sure we’ll be just fine, so thanks.”
Mat laughed, the sound unexpected and completely inappropriate, considering everything he’d just said. He ran a hand through his hair again, a smile on his face. “You know, I think you’re right. You’re just as stubborn as your brother and that’s exactly what Justin needs.”
Mat pushed himself to his feet, then held out his hand. Val stared at it for a few seconds, not quite understanding the sudden change in him, from cool seriousness to laughing amusement. She finally accepted his hand, allowing Mat to pull her from the chair. He stepped back and dug into his back pocket, pulling out a folded slip of paper.
“This is my cell. Call me if you need anything, even if it’s just to vent.”
Val took the slip of paper, not bothering to look at it, not even sure she’d keep it. “Uh, okay. Sure.”
She followed Mat to the door, still questioning the sudden change, still running each word through her mind. Had he been teasing her? Or maybe testing her? No, that couldn’t be. There was no reason for him to do something like that. Was there?
“Seriously, Val. If you need anything, just call. I’ll try to stop by and see how he’s doing before we go back on the road.”
“Sure, no problem.” Val nodded, not surprised that Mat looked like he didn’t qu
ite believe her. He nodded once then walked out, pulling the door closed behind him.
Val stood there, staring down at the slip of paper in her hand, still trying to figure out what had just happened. And what she wanted to do about it. She folded the slip in half and walked to where her purse was sitting on the coffee table, sliding the paper into the outside pocket, wondering if she’d actually use it.
And hoping she wouldn’t have to.
Chapter Seventeen
“God dammit, fucking shit.” Justin balled his hand into a fist, wanting to hit something. Anything. The wall, the mirror, the side of the tub. How fucking hard could it be to get a stupid ass piece of plastic wrapped around a fucking cast? It shouldn’t be that hard. He was right-handed, slipping the plastic over his left arm and sealing it with tape shouldn’t be a problem.
Except it was. Everything was a problem lately. Getting out of bed. Getting dressed. Taking a fucking piss. Every damn time he moved, he jarred his left arm, sending pain shooting up the limb into his shoulder and down into his gut.
A week had passed. Shouldn’t it be getting easier? All he wanted to do was take a fucking shower. Without help.
Without feeling like a damned invalid who couldn’t do shit on his own.
He unclenched his fist and sat down on the edge of the tub, the smooth porcelain cold under his bare ass, and took deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. Like he was in fucking labor or something.
A shower. That’s all he wanted. Was that too much to ask?
Knocking sounded against the closed door. Light, almost hesitant. Justin raised his head and stared, wondering if maybe he was hearing things. No, there it was again.
“You okay in there? Need any help?”
Shit. He wanted to say no. He had to say no. If Val came in, he’d be no more good. He’d been at her place since breaking his arm. Sleeping in her bed each night. Sleeping next to her, her body pressed close against his. Each night.
Delay of Game (The Baltimore Banners Book 6) Page 14