Sammy in Holland (Single Wide Female Travels #3)

by Lillianna Blake

  Just as I was about to point the coffee shop out to Max, Erik waved to us from the other side of the garden. “I’ll be right there!”

  I took a deep breath of the fragrant air and willed myself to be more interested in the good things than in the things that set my nerves on edge. I did notice that there was no table for a book signing to take place. I assumed it would be similar to the last book signing involving the beanbag chairs.

  Erik jogged over to us. Adorned in bright loose clothing, he greeted us with a warm smile. “So? What do you think? Not too bad of a surprise, hm?”

  “It’s pretty nice.” I smiled. “I’m glad you thought of moving things outside. I think it will give us all a new perspective.”

  “I’m so glad that you’re happy with it. I really wasn’t sure if you would be—especially with the dancers.”

  “Dancers?” I glanced around again. “What dancers?”

  “Oh, over there.” Erik pointed to a group of men and women who appeared to only be wearing leaves and petals. Most of each one’s body was exposed.

  “Erik? Why?” I couldn’t form any other words. My eyes widened and my heart pounded.

  “It just brings nature to life a bit, don’t you think? You should see them move. It’s like a poem in a person.” He laughed. “That should be a title of a book, shouldn’t it? What do you think, Samantha? Your next book could be called A Poem in a Person?”

  I couldn’t respond. My mind focused in on what would happen if any of those leaves fell off the dancers.

  “I don’t think this is going to work.”

  Max put his hands on my shoulders.

  I took a slow breath.

  “You haven’t even seen them dance yet.” Erik frowned.

  “Erik, this is unreasonable. They don’t have anything to do with my book.”

  “Are you sure?” He sighed. “I really thought that you, of all people, would be able to see what I’m trying to accomplish with this.”

  “I’m sorry, all I see are very loose leaves on very naked people.”

  “Wow. I’m pretty disappointed.” His entire expression faded into one of sorrow. “I really expected more from you, Samantha.”

  “More from me?” I stared at him. “What about what I expect from you? I thought you were going to provide me with a normal book signing today.”

  “No need to get upset.” Erik pursed his lips. “Do you want to get a coffee with me?”

  “No, I don’t want any pot!” I nearly screamed in frustration. This drew the attention of several of the guests who’d arrived for the book signing.

  “Sounds like she needs some.” The comment drifted from the group of dancers.

  “No, I don’t!”

  Max leaned close to me. “Sammy, people are watching. Try to keep your voice down.”

  “No, I won’t. I don’t care if I’m not mellow or chill enough. This is important to me. My fans matter to me. I don’t want to treat them to a circus. I want to treat them to a day where I have the opportunity to show my gratitude for their support. Not all of this nonsense!”

  “Wow, okay. Right now you’re just really killing my positive vibes.” Erik shook his head. “Look, if you want me to fire all the dancers, I will.”

  The word “fire” hit me in the gut. I looked back at the group. They weren’t just nearly naked people in a ridiculous get-up. They were people who needed to earn money. Why else would they let Erik do something like that to them? They were there expecting payment for their time.

  “No, don’t fire them.” I sighed. I held back the fact that it was him who I’d like to fire. “It’s too late to change things now. Let’s just get this over with.”

  “If that’s the kind of attitude you have, then how can we ever have a good experience?” Erik met my eyes. “Maybe if you spent a little more time opening your mind, you’d have a little less reason to get so upset.”

  “Now that’s enough.” Max glared at him as he stepped up beside Erik. “There’s a big difference between having an open mind and making ridiculous choices. Just because Samantha would like things to be a little bit more traditional, that doesn’t mean that she’s automatically wrong. If you spent a nanosecond not baked out of your mind, you might see that.”

  Chapter 24

  Warmth filled me in reaction to Max’s coming to my defense. He didn’t have to, and yet he did.

  “I can see that what they say about you Americans is pretty true.” Erik frowned. “I thought Samantha would be different, though. I really did. That’s why I planned all of these wild things. Not because I’m baked out of my mind, Max, but because I was trying to honor the woman I thought I’d gotten to know through her books—someone who isn’t afraid to take chances, who likes to see things from new perspectives, who always has some great new idea. Are you sure you don’t have a ghostwriter?” He scratched his head. “Maybe a really good editor?”

  The wind was knocked right out of me. This man who had apparently started out as one of my supporters had completely transformed. The question was, was it his fault or mine?

  Sure there were plenty of things that he did that I didn’t like. I would even go so far as to say that most people probably wouldn’t like them. But did that mean I should judge him for it? After all, I had resolved to have an open mind, and yet I shot down just about every one of his ideas. If I tried a little harder to be accepting, maybe things wouldn’t have devolved to this point.

  I took a deep cleansing breath and then shook my head.

  “I’m starving. I’ve been rushing around so much today I don’t think I’ve had anything to eat. Erik, just forget what I said. Give me a chance to get my blood sugar where it should be and we can go from there.”

  “Let me get you some food.” Max rubbed my arm. “I’m sure there’s something great nearby.”

  “There really isn’t time for that. I might have something in my purse.” I dug through it.

  There was a time not so long ago that I would have always had some kind of healthy snack in my purse to keep me from getting too hungry. If I didn’t have a little snack, then when I did eat, I was likely to eat a whole lot more. I’d gotten out of that habit with travel because of all the security checks.

  When I heard the crinkle of a paper bag I remembered the cookies that the man at the coffee house had given me earlier.

  “Score!” I pulled out the bag and opened it. “Do you want some?” I offered the cookie to Max.

  “No, you eat it. You need to fill up.”

  “Erik?”

  “Sorry, just had more than my share of brownie.” He chuckled.

  I bit into the cookie. It crumbled across my tongue. The chocolate chips melted in the heat of my mouth. Maybe it was because I was so hungry, but the cookie tasted better than anything I’d eaten in recent memory. I quickly devoured it and started on the second. It didn’t even bother me that Max and Erik stood there watching.

  By the time I polished off the second cookie, I felt much better.

  “There’s one more thing I should probably tell you.” Erik took the empty paper bag from me.

  “What is it?” I smiled. It was amazing how much more relaxed I felt after getting some food in my stomach.

  “I’ve planned a grand exit for you. Well, it’s part grand exit and part my gift to you for being so open to my ideas. Obviously, I planned it before our little run-in. So if you want me to cancel it, I will. Just let me know.”

  “How can I know if you don’t tell me?” I giggled.

  Max looked over at me with a raised eyebrow.

  “It’s over there.” Erik pointed across the park.

  I saw it then—a huge orange hot-air balloon. I expected to be afraid. But instead I was quite thrilled.

  “Wonderful. What an amazing idea. What a thoughtful gift.” I stared into his eyes. “Erik, this might sound strange, but can I give you a hug?”

  “Sammy?” Max moved toward me, but Erik opened his eyes wide.

  “Bring i
t in—right here, Samantha! I knew that we’d get to be best friends after all this.”

  I settled into his arms and hugged him as tight as I could. He smelled good. His body gave out the most intense body heat. I wasn’t aware that I rubbed my cheek against his chest until Max gave me a firm tap on the shoulder.

  “Sammy? Are you feeling alright?”

  “Yes.” I sighed and pulled away from Erik. “I feel great. Let’s get this book signing started!”

  Max tried to catch my hand but I began to run across the grass toward the area where the cushions were set up. I had no idea why I had been so upset about them in the first place. I jumped from one to the other. With the force of each leap the wind blew through my hair. I was aware of Max calling out to me, but I ignored him. When I reached my cushion I plopped down with a laugh.

  “Bring on the fans! I’m ready to blow this book signing out of the water!” I looked over at the dancers. “Well? What are you waiting for?”

  Erik grinned. “I knew you’d come around.” He hit a button on a hidden radio and music began to play.

  Chapter 25

  As the attendants of the book signing showed up one by one, the dancers weaved throughout them. A few people gave them a look, but most seemed rather impressed.

  As the music tickled my senses, I began to move to the sound of it. My feet tapped. My arms rose up in the air above my head. I imagined myself swaying like a reed in shallow water. Soon all of my guests were doing the same. I realized that they thought it was part of the book signing. I saw no reason not to go with it.

  I stood up and began to sway right along with the dancers. So did everyone around me. Soon we had our own little parade making our way around the entire park. As we danced, some were inspired to shed their clothes. I thought about it, but it seemed like a bit too much work to me.

  People twirled, leaped, and even put lyrics to the music as the dancers weaved among us. When there was a lull in the music, people began to return to their cushions. I became aware of Max very close to me just before he spoke in my ear.

  “What exactly is that?” He jabbed a finger in the direction of a nearby man.

  “Human, male.” I raised an eyebrow. “Do you see something else, Max? A bicycle perhaps?” I giggled wildly.

  “That is not funny.” He pursed his lips and then pointed to the man again. “What is that on his chest?”

  “Oh.” My voice dropped as I noticed my signature on the man’s chest. I had nearly forgotten about that odd autograph. “Relax, Max, it’s just pen. It will wash off with time.”

  “Are you sure?” Max narrowed his eyes. “How did it get there?”

  I poked him in the chest. “Are you jealous, Max?”

  “Should I be? I mean, there’s only a few ways that you could have signed his chest.”

  “He didn’t have paper. I felt bad for the young lad.” I giggled. “I’m trying an Irish accent, can you tell?”

  “What? Why?” He shook his head, then looked at me with narrowed eyes. “What’s going on with you?”

  “Hey, I’m the one with my name on someone else’s chest. I’m the one that should be asking the questions here.”

  “Sammy, what are you talking about?” Max’s voice was strained. “You’re not making any sense.”

  “Max, you worry too much. I’ll show you.” I waved to the man whose chest I’d signed. “You there. Yes, you. Can you come over here for a minute?”

  “Sammy, that’s not necessary.”

  “Sure it is. I want you to feel comfortable, Max. See, it’s just pen.” I licked my thumb and began to scrub it across the man’s chest.

  “Careful there.” He drew back from my touch. “The ink’s still wet.” He grinned at me.

  “How can that be? It’s been a while since I signed you.”

  “Oh no, not that kind of ink. Tattoo ink.” He pointed to the signature. “It’s permanent.”

  “Why?” I stared at him with wide eyes.

  “I have a bit of a crush on Zara.” He shrugged. “I figured this was the closest I could get to her. The artist did a good job, didn’t he?”

  “Yes.” I trailed my fingertips lightly along the raised surface. “It looks just like my signature.”

  “Sammy, maybe we should get back to the book signing.” Max pulled me back from the man as he stared at him intently. “And you should put your shirt back on.”

  I noticed that his tone had become a bit gruff.

  “Max, relax, please. It’s always wonderful to have a fan.”

  “I hear you, but it’s a little odd for a fan to be that fanatic, don’t you think?”

  “Are you just jealous because he got my name tattooed on him before you could?” I winked at him.

  He tilted his head to the side and looked me over slowly. “Have you been drinking?”

  “I’m not going to answer that.” I giggled and plopped back down on my cushion.

  As the dancers finally settled down, so did the rest of the guests. I breathed a sigh of relief when everyone was finally seated. All of the whirling and twirling had inspired a wave of dizziness that I couldn’t seem to shake.

  As I sat before the group, a strong desire arose within me to not just share a piece of my book with them, but a piece of me. I began reading the passage I’d chosen from Becoming Zara. As I finished the words, I looked out at the audience. Each person appeared enthralled, but were they really? I wasn’t so sure.

  I sat up and drew my knees up to my chest.

  “I’d like to get real with you here now. Nothing too heavy, I promise. But I’d like to talk about how easy it is to turn a good thing into a bad thing. Or sometimes, to not give something a chance to be anything at all.

  “It is far too easy to get stressed and automatically react to an unfamiliar situation. The rush to judgment is a hard thing to fight. We’ve perhaps had an experience in the past that triggers a flood of emotions regarding what is happening now. That flood of emotions threatens to send us into a panic if we’re not careful. As the wheels begin to turn in our flight or fight response we lose sight of a perfect opportunity—a chance to embrace the unknown, the unpredictable. What if, instead of an automatic negative response, we entertained the idea before us? What if we chose to explore it to see where it led?

  “Many times we’ve been trained into a pattern of thought. Either our parents, our teachers, or life experiences have taught us that certain things are off limits or far too risky. However, as we explore life, it’s easy to see that every single experience is very different. Once we see that, we begin to recognize that, even though our hesitation might be founded, that doesn’t mean that it is valid. One step in what we perceive as the wrong direction could truly lead us to something beautiful.”

  I stopped to finally get a breath, noting the confusion on some of the faces before me, but also the nodding of heads. “I know, I preach trusting your instincts all the time. But, the question to ask yourself is whether the reaction is your genuine instinct or an instinct that you’ve been taught. Each decision will be different, each experience will be different, but living a life of automatic ‘no’s can rob us of multitudes of experiences.

  “Think about times that you’ve backed out of an activity out of fear or self-consciousness. How might things have been different with a bit more boldness? It’s pretty easy to assume that nothing good will come out of taking a risk; however, the truth is that most of the world’s great inventions, fantastic art, and groundbreaking discoveries were a result of a very risky choice.”

  I cleared my throat. “I’m not advocating putting yourself in dangerous situations. I just think it might be worth pausing for a moment before automatically denying yourself an experience.”

  Chapter 26

  A round of applause rose throughout the crowd. Each steady slap of palm against palm startled me a little. It was such a harsh noise. How had I not noticed it before?

  For an instant, I thought of the entire crowd as a herd of seals fl
apping their fins together. It was such a funny thought that I began to laugh.

  The more I laughed, the more intense my dizziness became. I couldn’t focus on the crowd anymore. They’d become a distant blur.

  “Samantha.” Erik hissed in my ear. “Time to wrap it up.”

  Wrap it up, I thought. Make the world stop spinning. I blinked a few times and my vision cleared.

  “Thanks, everyone! You’ve been great! I really feel like I’ve connected with each of you on a really deep level.” I took a deep breath and then sighed. “What a beautiful day. What a beautiful experience. You’re all so very beautiful.”

  The entire audience burst into applause as I stood up.

  Bolstered by their admiration, I became certain that I would make the perfect next president of the United States—or maybe the next Queen of England. I was headed to London, after all. I wondered if I could become a queen or if I had to be born into it. Being president seemed a bit easier.

  I stood up and gave a presidential wave to my audience.

  Erik leaned close. “Are you ready for your grand exit?”

  “Yes—yes, I am.” I grinned and held onto his elbow as he led me to the hot air balloon. The world seemed to be swaying a bit under my feet.

  Erik tightened his grip on me. “Samantha, are you okay? Are you sick?”

  “I’m fine.” I laughed. “Aren’t you fine? I’m sure you are. We’re all fine.”

  “Are you sure that you’re up for this, Samantha?”

  “Of course I am. Up, you know—like the balloon goes up, up in the air.” I grinned at him. “I can’t wait!”

  “Okay.” He looked over his shoulder. “Where’s Max? Don’t you want him to go with you?”

  “Never mind about Max. He’s so cranky today. I’m ready to fly! Set me free, Erik!” I waved my hands in the air and rocked the hot air balloon back and forth.

  “Alright, just be careful. I’ll get the pilot, he’ll join you for the ride.”

  “A pilot?” I frowned as Erik walked away.

  The last thing I wanted to do was be stuck on a hot air balloon with a stranger. Instead, I decided that I was going to take flight all on my own. I needed to be more focused on myself, not on what weighed me down. I reached for the cord that anchored the hot air balloon. I wasn’t sure what I was doing exactly, but I did know that it needed to be done.