by Lucy Coleman
He sounds mellow and I wonder if Tomas can see the anxiety building up in him and this is as much about giving Reid space as it is deadlines.
‘Beatriz’s name is on a list that Filipe sent me. I wondered if you recognised any of the other people on there?’
‘Can you send it to me?’
I was hoping he’d say that. A couple of clicks and I hear the ping. A few moments elapse. I’m sure there’s nothing to be concerned about, but as Beatriz’s name seems to be cropping up regularly at the moment, I can’t help being a little suspicious.
‘Let me see… four of them I don’t know at all. Three of them are joint friends of ours. Two are a celebrity couple; he’s a producer and his wife runs a marketing company. I don’t know them personally. I’m not sure Beatriz would have any close links with them, either. What is this list for, exactly?’
‘They are to be the VIPs attending the fashion shoot and I’ve arranged for Carolina to escort them.’
‘I’m pretty sure Filipe has known the producer for a while. Maybe the four names I don’t recognise are linked to the other directors? Beatriz may well be repaying favours, of course, and they could simply be new acquaintances she wants to impress. She has known Filipe’s family for many years and if she presented him with this list he won’t refuse her request. It’s probably for the best that Carolina is looking after them, though. This is just the sort of tactic Beatriz uses when she wants to get under my skin and I don’t expect you to have to pander to her. Going via Filipe is Beatriz’s way of reminding me that all doors are open to her.’
‘I did wonder, as the other invitees aren’t being chaperoned. By the way, I’ve been thinking… the next time you come to me I wonder if it would be a little more discreet if you use the back gate. You can park a few streets away and I’ll give you a key. The key is almost as big as a phone, but at least it’s a private entrance.’
‘Problems?’
‘Not really, but I don’t want to upset my neighbour. It’s her brother’s house I’m renting, and she’s been so good to me. I don’t think she’d approve of night-time visitors.’
‘Creeping around isn’t easy, is it? Maybe you should come here.’
‘Is that wise, Reid? That would be a big risk to take.’
‘It’s the same for you,’ he replies, softly.
His voice is so gentle, and I close my eyes, imagining that he’s next to me.
‘You’ve gone quiet, Seren.’
‘I want you to do me a favour. Do you know how wonderful your voice is, Reid?’
He laughs. ‘Wonderful?’
‘Warm, genuine and mesmerising. You need to be the voice for the video. It’s the perfect solution. Who could possibly talk about your work as well, or as passionately, as you?’
‘Only you would say something like that, Seren. You don’t think you’re a little biased?’
‘I’m sure Filipe will agree with me, but I wanted to ask you first.’
‘I’ll go along with whatever you want. There are no guarantees I won’t mess it up though, so maybe have a back-up plan,’ he muses. ‘And as for getting together, maybe you are right. I’ll give it some thought, too, and see if I can come up with another solution.’
My spirits instantly lift a little. I have no idea if Tomas has told Reid about the meeting Filipe mentioned on the drive back from the party. It might not come to anything, but Beatriz is behind it, I have no doubt about that. Something is making me hesitate about mentioning it, though. Reid is on board with the fashion shoot but has shown little interest in the product range that will go on sale in the gallery. Tomas has been liaising directly with Filipe and Bernadette, so I’m not involved. But Reid doesn’t seem to be, either. That puzzles me a little, I must admit, and I can only assume that he’s happy to let Tomas run with it.
The other thing that worried me a little that night was that Vitor seldom let Beatriz out of his sight. Whenever she wanted anything, he was there. It would be wrong of me to cast suspicion on him when he has shown me only politeness and respect, but I wonder where his allegiance truly lies. With Reid, or with Beatriz? To me, it appeared that Vitor was treating her as if she was mistress of the house still.
‘Some time alone together would be good. But I understand the pressures on you.’
‘I don’t want you to be lonely, though. You can’t waste precious time waiting around for my problems to resolve. I’ll work something out, I promise, but in the meantime, you must enjoy yourself and I understand that.’
The responsibility he’s feeling towards me is touching.
‘I’ve just started a new sculpture, a special one, so that’s going to keep me occupied for a couple of weeks.’
‘Ah, good. Not that I think you should confine yourself to that little workshop, but I’m glad you have something you enjoy and that’s relaxing for you.’
As we say goodnight, it’s with a heavy heart that we end the call. Neither of us wants to be alone, but that’s the way it must be for now. Getting ready for bed, loneliness threatens to overwhelm me and the only way I’m going to lift my mood is to settle down and read.
Pulling the e-reader from the bedside drawer, I trawl through my library. I miss my paperbacks so much. They were my security blanket, because sometimes you need to smell the print on the paper as you turn a page on a well-thumbed book. I have boxes of them in storage.
What I need now is something uplifting, a story that will give me hope that love can triumph, when what I fear is that sometimes there are too many obstacles. One title seems to jumps out: The Trouble with Being Me and when I read the blurb, it makes me smile. It’s about a woman who doesn’t give up on her dream, but the road she travels isn’t an easy one. And as I begin reading, I’m hooked from the very first paragraph.
My mother once told me that if something is meant to be, things will fall into place. If the path is tortuous, then fighting against one’s destiny is for fools. I now realise that I’m a fool, a complete and utter lovesick fool…
The next day, Carolina and I spend the entire morning working on the limited-edition programme for the exhibition. It’s coming together, but we’re not quite there yet. Tomas has yet to provide Reid’s official biography and a portrait photo of him. I ask Carolina to chase him. For the time being, I want to keep my contact with Tomas to the minimum.
By lunchtime we are beginning to flag as we were both at our desks by seven-thirty this morning. I’m hungry and I’m sure Carolina is too, but we’re loath to break off.
My office door is open and Filipe unexpectedly appears in front of me.
‘I will be unavailable now for the next couple of hours as I have a meeting with Tomas and Beatriz. Your diligence is admirable, Seren, but a break is healthy,’ he points out. ‘It’s a lovely day, but I suspect neither of you have noticed. Why not grab a leisurely lunch? My favourite place to stroll is around the Padrão dos Descobrimentos. Take some time, enjoy!’
As he disappears out of view, Carolina and I exchange glances. ‘I think he’s worried we are overworked. That’s a compliment,’ she remarks.
However, my smile turned into a frown the moment I heard Beatriz’s name mentioned. Filipe’s tone was friendly but encouraging. Has Beatriz said something about me and he’s simply making sure our paths don’t cross?
‘Have you already visited the Monument to the Discoveries?’ Caroline asks.
‘No. It’s on my list. I’ve visited the Torre de Belém. The day I went, there was a big queue for the tower, but I waited in line and it was well worth it. The views are glorious, and I was hoping to head back along the riverbank to the monument, but I couldn’t find a direct route, so I gave up.’
‘There is no way to cross the exits where the yachts that are moored up at the marina access the river. You have to head inland and circle around. Why don’t we jump on a tram, it’s only a short ride, and find somewhere shady to sit and eat a sandwich at the monument?’
‘Why not?’ It’s time I put all thoughts
of Beatriz out of my head and this could be the perfect distraction.
We gather our things together and spot Antero as we leave the building.
‘We’re going for a stroll and to grab a snack. Can you join us?’ I ask.
‘No, afraid not. I’m just printing off a few things for Senhor Ferreira’s meeting. He said not to bother you about it, as you were about to go to lunch. It’s a pity though, as I’m meeting up with Miguel shortly. We could have gone together.’
He hurries off, a wad of papers in his hand. It’s unusual for Filipe to call upon Antero to assist him and it is a little unsettling.
Outside, the first thing I do is put on my sunglasses and Carolina follows suit.
‘This way. We need to take the number fifteen tram and we’ll get off at the Mosteiro dos Jerónimos, then it’s a short walk across the gardens.’
‘Ah, the monastery is next to our favourite bakery and café. It’s a pity we’ll be walking in the opposite direction,’ I reply sadly.
‘You have a good sense of direction, Seren.’
‘When this project is over, I can’t wait to take some time off and continue working down the list of sights I’d love to see. Two of my friends are flying in from the UK on the day of the fashion shoot and will be staying in Lisbon for a week. I’ve asked Filipe if I can take five days holiday once the celebratory weekend is over.’
‘I’m glad for you. It can’t be all work and, what is it you say? No play. What did you think of Miguel? I only ask, because he has never come here to meet Antero for lunch before. It seems too much of a coincidence.’
As the tram pulls away, our shoulders knock together and we laugh, but she raises her eyebrows at me.
‘He’s a nice man and his English is good, so we were able to chat. But—’
‘You aren’t interested in him? He’s attractive, sincere and he has a beautiful voice.’
Is she trying to encourage me?
‘I know.’
Suddenly, she narrows her eyes, searching my face, questioningly. ‘You have a special someone back in the UK?’
‘No. Not at all.’
‘You have someone here?’ The question is tentative, but we’re friends now and Carolina has shared confidences with me. She’s expecting the same in return.
‘There’s a huge difference between liking someone and being in a position to begin a new relationship.’
Whether Carolina will interpret that as an interest in Miguel, I don’t know, but the statement is an honest one. Protecting Reid is, however, my first priority.
‘That’s understandable. It won’t always be this hectic, I hope.’ The way she shrugs her shoulders indicates that she, too, understands the difficulties. Reid doesn’t want me putting my life on hold, but you can’t choose what your heart wants, can you? Even when it’s the impossible.
I stare out the window as the colourful buildings flash by, a mixture of pastels interspersed with vibrant blues and yellows. They are interrupted only by buildings adorned with the wonderful, vintage azulejo tiles, reflecting that sunny, Mediterranean feel.
We lapse into silence for the remainder of the short journey and when we alight outside the monastery, the lunchtime heat seems to bounce up off the wide, limestone-cobbled pavement.
‘Your intention really is to settle here, isn’t it? I know you said you were going to start learning Portuguese, but I wondered if your ties to home would pull you back there.’
‘I don’t think so, but I know you will appreciate how there are moments when it’s easy to long for the familiarity of the life you left behind.’
We are both deep in thought as we cross the road. Wandering through the swathe of gardens ahead, the path leads us to an underpass beneath the busy main road. Stopping at a small stand to buy a cold drink, it’s too hot to eat anything substantial. I point to some little round cakes with a hole in the centre. The woman says they are called pão de ló and Carolina nods enthusiastically. I ask for two, which the vendor carefully wraps, putting them into a bag with some napkins.
There’s a steady stream of people coming and going in both directions, but it’s not packed. However, when we reach the monument, it feels as if everyone who works in the area has chosen to join the tourists today.
‘It must get really busy in the height of summer,’ I comment, as we hurry across to a bench set back in a nook in the wall. There’s little shade, but it will be pleasant to sit and enjoy our cake.
‘It’s mostly tourists then, as the locals prefer to come when it’s cooler. We’ll take a wander around when you are ready. These are delicious, aren’t they?’
The sponge is moist and there’s a hint of sharp lemon, which makes my tongue tingle. I gaze across at the monument as I sit here savouring the flavours.
‘Yes, and perfect when you are hungry and in need of a sugar fix. The monument is bigger than I expected.’
‘Did you know you can go inside and climb up the statue? It’s worth a visit to spend a couple of hours wandering around in general, too.’
‘The monument is the prow of a ship, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, a caravel – a light sailing ship used by the Portuguese navigators. The shield of Portugal is on both sides. This is where the ships departed to explore India and the Orient. At the prow is the Infante Dom Henrique, known as Henry the Navigator. One of the inscriptions says he and his peers discovered the roads of the sea. I like that thought.’
Even from this distance, the monument towers high into the sky and it’s remarkable.
We finish eating and the water slips down easily to quench our thirst. I’m eager to get closer, but I’m also conscious of the time.
‘Come, we can take another twenty minutes before walking back. Senhor Ferreira will be pleased we followed his suggestion.’
I’m trying my best not to stress about the reason why Filipe was so insistent Carolina and I take a leisurely lunch today. If Beatriz suspects something is going on between Reid and me, did she convey the need for discretion? If that’s the case, not only does it not bode well for my reputation, but could it also mean she’s going behind Reid’s back? It’s hard to shake off my concerns, but I don’t want Carolina picking up on my unease, so I try to relax.
Today, the breeze coming off the river Tagus is light as the sun beats down on us and here there is no shade. As we saunter closer, the water alongside is like liquid silver. Overhead, a solitary plane passes over the bridge, which hangs like a necklace behind the monument. Of the people around us, many are office workers taking lunch breaks, but there are families, too, pushing strollers and tourists with bulky backpacks.
The wide promenade beneath our feet changes as we step onto the more traditional design of the cobbled limestone floor from which the monument rises majestically. In sharp contrast to the buff stonework of the statuary, the small cobbles are arranged in a pattern. It has been laid in a chequerboard style, with ribbons of dark grey cobbles that twist and turn among the general buff-colour stones.
Before we leave, I want to go up close and touch the statue with my hand. Carolina follows me, no doubt having visited many times before and having done this herself.
The figures standing on the sloping ledges either side are each unique, and my eyes are drawn to the navigator who holds a ship aloft in his hands. From a monk, to a knight in battle dress proudly brandishing his sword, and even royalty, the monument tells a story of generations. It’s a homage to bravery and the quest for knowledge, trade and adventure.
When I place my hand on the stone, it occurs to me why the ability to create something lasting is so important. The work is a legacy so that the past will not be forgotten, but also the creator is aware that they are leaving something behind that will continue to exist long after they are gone.
‘You are touched by this place, Seren,’ Carolina remarks, placing a hand on my arm.
‘You’re right. It has inspired me.’
‘That’s the artist in you,’ she adds softly.
> Is that what attracted me to Reid? And yet he’s right, I am only just beginning my journey and I have no idea if it will lead anywhere, but I owe it to myself to give it a chance.
Suddenly my heart dips, as I reluctantly follow Carolina to head back. Traipsing a pace or two behind, I wonder what on earth I’m doing. Reid is a famous artist. He socialises with the people that Beatriz can mix with easily, because her family is well-known and respected. As far as Lisbon is concerned, I have no history and no connections. Reid’s life represents everything I’m hoping to turn my back on as soon as I can afford to do so. How ironic is that? Almost too ironic, and if I believed in signs, I’d say this might well be one.
Is it foolish to blindly follow a dream in the belief that I will end up feeling empowered and free? The thought that pops into my head is that those intrepid, Portuguese explorers didn’t dwell upon the dangers, the unknowns, and the risks of never returning to see their families again. They lived in the hope of discovering new frontiers and uncovering a wealth of new opportunities. With great risk comes great reward.
For Reid, it’s about creating something much bigger than simply achieving success as an artist. For me, it’s about having the freedom to discover who I am and what will make me truly happy. His dream will, I’m sure, bring great financial rewards and mine probably won’t – and that doesn’t matter to me. But does it matter to him?
12
Feeling the Karma
When we arrive back at the gallery, there is no sign of Filipe’s visitors and a casual enquiry aimed at Antero turns up nothing. It would be wrong of me to press him and I console myself with the fact that if it was anything directly linked with the project, then Filipe would have had no choice but to involve me.
It’s unusual for Filipe to leave early, but he does today and stops by first for a little chat. He asks if I enjoyed my visit to the monument and I tell him that I will go back again. He seems pleased. Filipe also confirms that he has spoken with Yolanda Abreu’s father and I can expect an email very shortly from her publicist. And just like that the problem is sorted. I express my appreciation, as his intervention has saved me from what could have been a long dialogue going back and forth. However, I have to let go of my disappointment that he doesn’t mention anything at all about his meeting.