by Lucy Coleman
Reid hangs back, watching me with interest. I walk a few paces towards the edge of the inviting pool and turn to capture the full effect. The centrally placed, huge, angular box that sits on top of the extended ground-floor accommodation is imposing and impressive. The front slopes back quite sharply when you look at it from this angle and the concrete base rather cleverly forms the overhang to the patio below. Running the entire width of the box structure is a balcony. There is no handrail, merely simple, clear-glass panels that don’t obstruct the view. The flat roof of the box juts out far enough to keep it nicely shaded from the sun. Beyond that are bifold glass doors to what I assume is the master bedroom.
‘Do you approve of our little summer retreat?’ Reid asks, his eyes not moving from my face.
‘It’s beyond perfect. Whoever designed this little complex had a vision. It’s so private, that feeling that we are all alone here. This is unbelievable.’
I walk back to Reid, leaning in to kiss him on the lips and he groans as we linger for a few seconds.
‘And it was the right thing to do?’
It would be unfair of me to misinterpret this as merely down to trying to make an impression. ‘It was and it’s going to be so easy to relax here, Reid. It’s like another world, isn’t it? The person who owns this place must surely feel this is the perfect holiday location.’
‘He does, but he rarely stays here, it’s merely an investment. My father was the architect and he was also project manager throughout the build. They sold off-plan to people looking for second, or third, homes. It’s always peaceful here and I knew you’d love it. We’d better get this food in the fridge before it spoils, the front door is straight on, then take a right turn. It’s the large grey door at the end of the covered walkway.’
I wasn’t looking forward to my birthday, I mean hitting thirty was bad, but hitting thirty-one simply makes me realise how fast time flies. But now I’m going to be spending the whole weekend with Reid. Suddenly I don’t care about anything else going on around me as I’m going to treasure every single moment that we’re together.
15
Sun, Sea and Seclusion
After a perfect night, the air conditioning keeping us cool as we laid in each other’s arms, it felt to me as if I’d stepped into an alternative reality. What if there is more than one plane to life, a bit like in the film Sliding Doors. Gwyneth Paltrow and John Hannah’s characters could so easily have missed each other, and they did on screen. Then they get a chance to replay the same scene again and the second time around it’s a different outcome. What if this is my different outcome?
‘You’ve gone quiet. I didn’t realise chopping up strawberries required so much concentration.’ Reid glances at me across the kitchen island, as he continues to lay out a breakfast platter of cooked meats and cheeses.
‘I want to make them bite-size. I’m a perfectionist,’ I reply, shrugging my shoulders at him, nonchalantly, as he grins back at me.
‘Don’t give me that, I can almost hear your mind churning. Care to share a few of your thoughts with me?’
I scoop the pieces off the chopping board and into the dish and we load up the tray. Grabbing the plates and cutlery, I follow Reid out onto the tiled patio area. He has already erected the sails above the wooden table, even though the sun is still low in the sky, but they gently flap in the breeze and it’s a calming sound.
‘It wouldn’t feel like real life, living here permanently, would it?’ I remark as I sit down, organising our place settings while Reid pops back in through the open doors to grab the orange juice and glasses.
‘It wouldn’t?’
‘This is the fantasy you see between the pages of a glossy magazine, but it’s not a lifestyle I imagine for myself. A holiday of a lifetime, or a special anniversary, sure, and memories that would never be forgotten. But I’ve always found that going back to the same place, it’s rarely as good the second time around.’
‘Even going back to the same place with the same person?’
‘Yes. It’s a case of right time, right place, right ambience and, obviously, someone whose company you actually enjoy. But is it possible to recreate that perfect minute, hour, day – whichever – again and again and again?’
‘You’re asking the wrong person. Moments of pure happiness have been fleeting in my life, but I suspect that’s my own fault. I want you to come back here as often as possible this summer. Preferably with me, of course, but I meant it when I said there are no strings attached.’
‘The thought of a stunning place like this lying unused and unappreciated for long periods of time is a waste. Money might buy a wealthy person anything they want, but if they don’t have the time to enjoy it then what’s the point?’
‘I agree. And if you want to bring your friends, that’s fine as I’m hoping to spend some quality time with Ana at the house over the next couple of months.’
‘Why don’t you consider bringing her here?’
Reid’s loading his plate, twisting a wafer-thin slice of cured ham around the serving fork. I watch as he expertly twizzles it into what appears to be a rose.
‘That’s clever.’
He leans forward, placing it on my plate, and I smile gratefully. ‘I have many skills you have yet to discover,’ he replies, enigmatically.
‘So why don’t you bring Ana here?’
He shrugs his shoulders as I pop a strawberry into my mouth and sit back to savour the sweetness of it.
‘Because we aren’t at that stage where we could sit for prolonged periods in silence, with ease. It’s better to take her out for a meal or, like last weekend, entertain her at the house, where she has Vitor and Gisela to chat to, and then invite her friends along.’
‘Recent events have helped to start up a proper dialogue, though, haven’t they?’
‘It’s been nice to talk one-on-one, for sure. When Ana was young, she kept me going when my paintings weren’t selling, and things were tough. Just a hug, or one of her special drawings where I always had one eye higher than the other, would make me smile and count my blessings. It’s been reassuring to see that we still get moments when she’s prepared to lower her guard. It made me realise I need to make that happen more often, because she’s at that age where what happens next will set the pattern for the future.’
I know he’s referring to Beatriz and the fact that if he isn’t present then he has no voice, no way of influencing the way Ana is guided through those tough teen years.
‘Ana must be bilingual, then, if she spent the first however many years of her life living in London? But when you are together, do you talk in English or Portuguese?’
I pop a slice of cheese into my mouth and see that Reid is watching my every move. I chew quickly.
‘Sorry, I’m starving.’
‘No, it’s lovely to see you have an appetite. We converse in Portuguese whenever family are around, but English if it’s just the two of us. Ana can speak French fluently, too. She finds languages easy and she has inherited that from her mother.’
I did notice that Beatriz’s English was almost flawless. Having lived in London, and with Reid and Tomas spending so much time there, I wasn’t at all surprised.
‘Are you in Lisbon for the whole summer, now?’ I enquire, just making idle chatter really.
‘Yes. I’ve decided to sell the place in London. There’s little point in having two studios. I’m here until the autumn, after which I’ll have a few trips back and forth to Paris for the exhibition there. I’ve decided to give some serious thought to setting up the art gallery at Casa da Floresta. It might not be feasible, but it’s time to explore the possibilities rather than just talk about it. And Tomas is keen to organise an artists’ retreat, maybe as early as next spring, just to see what level of interest it attracts.’
Is Reid planning on spending more time in Lisbon because of me? I wonder. Like the scenes from a film, it plays out in my head, but it isn’t me I see sitting with Reid in the courtyard of his
country house. It’s yet another alternative reality that feels alien to me.
‘But that’s all irrelevant for now. This weekend is about celebrating your birthday and getting away from it all. Do you want to read for a bit after breakfast and then maybe we can take a walk along the beach a little later? We could then come back and have a dip in the pool.’
‘Sounds perfect.’ And he’s right. It’s time to switch off my thoughts, in the same way that we switched off the mobile phones. A getaway means just that.
I can tell that Reid’s sketching me, even though he’s pretending that he isn’t. But even as I try to focus on reading, I can’t seem to stop my eyes from straying in his direction. Whenever I catch a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye, he’s looking directly at me. I wonder what he’s thinking. I don’t really do glam, unless it’s work-related. And that’s different, it comes with the job and I accept that.
When I moved to Portugal, I put several boxes of clothes in storage as there was too much to bring with me. I think longingly of the items I wish I’d found space for, but I’m happy enough with what I managed to pick up on a little spree one lunchtime this week. Sunbathing isn’t my thing, so I’m lazing on a lounger in the shade of the overhang beneath the balcony. I found the cutest floppy straw hat and the little bikini I’m wearing is quite modest. I’m not a thong person and the matching wrap doubles as a short, strapless dress or an ankle-length skirt.
I put the e-reader down and slide my feet over the side of the lounger, thinking it’s time I stretched my legs.
‘Would you like a cold drink?’ I call across to Reid.
‘Please. A bottle of water would be very welcome, thank you.’
It’s an excuse to take a peek at what he’s doing really, but I don’t want him to know that as I return with an icy cold bottle in each hand. Yet, as I draw closer, he shuffles the little pile of cartridge paper together and places it inside a stout-looking portfolio case.
‘Are you bored of reading?’ he asks, taking the bottle from me.
‘No, not really, although I miss holding a real book in my hands. I mainly use the e-reader at night, but my holiday treat is usually a pile of paperbacks, so it feels like something is missing.’
‘You are a curious creature of habit, Seren.’
‘Did you just wink at me?’
‘I did. By the end of this weekend, I’m going to know a whole lot more about you. Everything you do is an insight into who you are. Would it be wrong to say how gorgeous you look in that?’ He’s treading carefully around me, and he shouldn’t feel that way after planning such a wonderful surprise.
‘This little outfit I picked up at one of those market stalls. You don’t think the hat is a bit too big?’
‘It’s very you. But then you’d make anything look good. The clothes don’t make the person, it’s what inside that counts.’
He stands, taking the water bottle out of my hand and places it on the table. Then he wraps his arms around me and the heat of his body filtering through the crispness of his pale blue cotton shirt sets my skin tingling.
‘I’m not as shallow as you think I am,’ he murmurs. ‘I, too, can reject the things that don’t mean anything to me, while embracing them when it’s the right thing to do. I’m beginning to understand a little more about what makes you tick. Come on, let’s head off to the beach.’
We lock up and he’s happy to walk along hand in hand.
‘You aren’t concerned anyone you know will spot us?’
‘People who live here value their privacy and they’ve paid a premium for it. Sadly, there are things that only money can buy, as you well know.’
As we make our way down to the small cove, past the layer of rocks and cobble, we stop to slip off our shoes.
‘The cove here is private, for residents only,’ Reid explains. ‘There’s no access to the main beach at Carcavelos, which runs for about a kilometre and half in that direction,’ he points beyond the cliff edge to our right. ‘It’s a busy beach, but big enough to cope with the vast numbers of tourists and locals it attracts.’
‘The water looks inviting,’ I comment as we head towards the wet sand.
‘The pool is better, trust me. It’s clean here and suitable for swimming and surfing, but the temperature of the sea is always cold as it flows from the Atlantic Ocean. Today it’s probably eighteen degrees, so it will be a real shock to the system when you first get in,’ he warns.
As we draw to a halt to watch the screeching seagulls as they circle overhead, Reid turns to look at me. ‘Tell me a little more about your childhood and your relationship with your father.’
That’s the very least he deserves, and I try to explain why I’m so determined to stick to my master plan.
‘A plan you made before our paths crossed,’ he points out.
I nod in agreement. ‘Yes.’
‘You have this way of looking at things which makes everything sound so achievable, so easy and so perfect, Seren.’ He sounds wistful.
‘I made a pact with my best friend, Judi, on my thirtieth birthday. We were both moaning about life and it hit me that we could either continue on as we were, hoping things would improve, or we could start being proactive and take control. The goal I set myself is to have enough saved within the next five years to buy a modest little home and then live a simpler life. I’ll get a part-time job, anything at all really, to keep the bills paid and then I’ll spend my free time making sculptures. It’s a lifestyle choice. We’re constantly striving to meet the often impossible demands we place upon ourselves. Or worse, to please others who do that to us without any sense of guilt. There is an alternative – I plan to draw a line and step back.’
‘What if you never sell a sculpture? Would it break your heart?’
‘No,’ I answer truthfully. ‘In fact, I wonder if I will ever be able to part with anything I make, if it comes to that anyway. It hurt to pack up my collection in the UK and put them in storage. But at least I know they are there waiting, and I can claim them when I finally find my forever home.’
‘And you’re serious when you say that you’ll turn your hand to anything? Your job is high profile and you’re already attracting attention. You really can see yourself walking away from that level of success, when I’m sure that Filipe would do anything to keep you?’
‘I know how it sounds, but yes. I woke up one day and began to see everything in a totally different light.’
‘I didn’t fully appreciate how important your plan is to you. And yet here we are, two people unexpectedly thrown together and wondering what’s going to happen next, because I sure as hell didn’t see this coming.’
We turn to face each other, the ebbing water quickly returning, making me squeal and jump back, as Reid catches my hand. He’s right, it’s freezing cold.
‘Neither did I, but I’m not sorry our paths have crossed,’ I reply.
‘Promises mean nothing, Seren, I know that. You are taking a risk being with me, but my life is changing in ways I never anticipated. It’s too soon to say how it will play out because it’s like a tower of bricks and they have to be taken down in the right order. If they fall, there will be nothing left and lots of people will get hurt. But I’m trying and you’ve made me see that feeling trapped is simply an opportunity to turn things around. It’s up to me to do something about my situation, though. In the meantime, let’s grab whatever time we can together, but if your feelings change, I understand. I’m not a man who promises something he can’t deliver and right now I’m a work in progress.’
I stand on tiptoe to kiss him softly on the mouth. When we pull away, he looks down at me and I can’t read his face, the emotions are too raw.
‘I want what’s best for you, too, Reid. You deserve not only happiness but peace in your life. If there’s a way we can carve out time for each other, then that’s a bonus.’
‘My plans may end up changing, but, sadly, there are elements of that which aren’t entirely in my control.
You make me happy and if destiny is kind, peace will come.’ It’s good to hear him sounding mellow as we begin our leisurely stroll along the full length of the cove. We stop for a while to investigate the little rock pools at the base of the cliffs and then he reaches out to grab my hand.
‘Are you ready to head back?’ It’s obvious he’s had enough and I suspect he’s eager to do a little more drawing.
‘Are you bored?’ I level at him in an accusing tone of voice.
‘No, I just can’t stand wet sand on my feet.’
‘Wet sand? What a wuss,’ I throw at him as I run back towards the cobbles.
When he catches up, we’re both laughing and as he hugs me, the embrace is full of so much more than simply passion. Reid thought the good times in his life were all in the past and that was beginning to destroy him. I hope this happy little interlude is opening his eyes to the possibilities.
‘We’ve both jumped through hoops for other people, people who don’t care about anyone but themselves. Let’s move forward with honesty and see if fate is on our side, Reid.’
He leans his forehead against mine and his breath tickles my nose. ‘You give me hope, Seren, not just for us but for everything. I don’t want Ana to settle for anything other than what makes her heart leap out of her chest. The best way to ensure that is to set an example, isn’t it?’
My eyes are full of tears and when I open my mouth to speak, all I hear is silence. In a perfect world, love would be enough and everything else would fall into place. But life isn’t like that, is it? Or maybe it is when two people are totally in synch, and the truth is that our paths were only ever meant to cross, not to merge. That thought is truly heart-breaking and I’m tempted to ask the universe what’s the point if there is no hope.