“Mmm,” she moaned as he slid his finger under the edge of her bra, coming just shy of touching her hard nipple.
His voice grew ever huskier as he reached behind her and unclasped the bra, tossing it behind him on the floor.
He palmed both of her breasts at once, gingerly testing them, squeezing, kneading, running his thumbs across the aching tips.
With one arm around her waist, he dipped her back so that he could wrap his full, hot mouth around her nipple. He sucked hard, and she cried out, her hands digging into his hair. God, it felt so amazing, she wouldn’t be surprised if he could make her come just from that alone.
His other hand found the seam of her jeans, and his thumb pressed into her clit, causing sparks to shoot up and down her body, silver, white hot, diamond sharp.
She knew that all this was a stupid mistake on her part, knew that he wouldn’t stick, not like she needed him to, but it was also inevitable, preordained, utterly inescapable. So she decided that tomorrow would be tomorrow and tonight would be tonight. She would give in, just this once, to the constant yearning and longing that had controlled her for so many years. Just this once, she would banish the loneliness that had been her always companion since Rex and Sophia Jenkins died and some part of Vaughn died with them.
He slowly unbuttoned her jeans and slipped his hand down the front, groaning when he reached the hot, slick center of her desire. He kissed her neck, her jawline, her eyelids, murmuring how much he loved her, how beautiful she was, how much he’d missed her. And it made her heart hurt, because she knew it wouldn’t last. It never did with Vaughn. But this time, she was going in with her eyes wide open, letting him slice into her and rip out her heart with his bare hands. This time, she knew exactly what she was getting into, and she was doing it anyway.
Because she needed him just that much.
“T.J.?” His voice dragged her out of her self-recriminations.
“Yeah, right here,” she answered, sitting up more so that she could reach the button and zipper on his jeans.
“Are you sure about this? We don’t have to do this tonight. We have all the time in the world now. We can take things slow if that makes you feel better.” He kissed her on the nose, his smile so stunningly gorgeous, she nearly sobbed from seeing it. “I’ll court the hell out of you if that’s what you want. Make me work for it, baby. I don’t mind.”
She shook her head. No. There wouldn’t be any courting, because if she didn’t do this tonight, he’d probably be gone by morning. Well, he’d be gone by morning no matter what, but at least this way, she’d have one last piece of them to cling to, one moment with him as she was now, not an adolescent memory.
“Just do it,” she whispered as she undid his pants and pushed them down so she could see his cock, hard and smooth against his abs.
His brow furrowed, and he started to answer her, but she wrapped her hand around the shaft and gave a firm stroke, and he dissolved into incoherent swearing. She circled the head with her thumb, spreading the lubrication there and making him slick with his own desire.
“God, baby, get those pants off,” he hissed.
She complied, and then she had her legs wrapped around his waist as he stood in front of her where she sat on the table. He pulled her clear to the edge so that he could line up.
“Condom?” he asked, running his nose up her neck and nipping at her ear.
“Pill,” she whispered back.
“I haven’t been with anyone—”
“Shh. I’m not worried,” she answered.
“I’ll always take care of you, T.,” he told her sweetly.
She nodded and then kissed him, hard and deep, and before she knew it, he was inside her, filling all the emptiness that had been there for so damn long.
He began to pump, slowly at first, almost leisurely, but his pace quickened when she begged him in a thready voice, “Please, Vaughn, please take me there.” So he pumped in and out, hard and steady, and she felt the tension coiling tighter and tighter, felt his heart beating alongside hers, their breaths in tandem, their bodies melded together. Then when she thought she’d never reach that glorious crest of release, he stopped moving and gazed into her eyes. That was all it took. She came apart at the seams, her entire world narrowed down to this man, this moment, this feeling that she knew she’d never have again.
14
“Oh my God, do you think they saw?” T.J. whisper-yelled as she pulled the blanket around her tighter and ducked down behind the last stall in the Jenkinses’ barn.
Vaughn chuckled as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her on the cheek. “Even if they did, what does it matter? I’m sure Ty’s had girls in here before.”
T.J. buried her head in Vaughn’s shoulder as they stretched their legs out in front of them. She was completely nude except for the horse blanket she’d wrapped around herself in desperation. Vaughn was wearing his faded jeans unbuttoned, commando, without a shirt.
“If they saw me naked, I’ll never be able to face either of them again,” she cried.
“Baby, if they’d seen you naked, there’s no way they would have just walked on by like that. No man with functioning eyes could see you in the buff and walk away.”
T.J. giggled, and Vaughn growled as he laid her back down on the hay in the stall, opening her blanket so that he could get to the goods underneath. Within a few minutes, he was inside her, and neither one of them could even remember that Ty and his friend had just walked through the barn.
Vaughn pulled Ty’s truck up to the front of T.J.’s little house and told her to stay put. Then he climbed out and made his way to her side of the cab, where he opened the door and leaned in, looking at her with the world’s biggest grin.
“Let me help you out there, baby,” he said as his hands slid around her hips and he gently pulled her out, letting her feet slide to the ground until he had her pinned between him and the truck.
He leaned in and kissed her, long and sweet, only pulling away when her hands on his chest pushed lightly.
“You in a hurry?” he asked, feeling a tiny bit stung that she didn’t seem to be as happy as he was.
“No, but I am really tired. It’s been kind of an intense night,” she said, smiling softly.
“Okay, I’m sorry.” He stepped back and held her hand as he led her up to the front door. “What are your plans tomorrow?” he asked.
She shifted a touch, pulling a key out from under the flowerpot sitting next to her door.
He scowled. “How many times have I told you it’s not safe to leave a key around like that?”
“I just didn’t want to bring a purse to the dance. I’ll bring it inside with me. It’s all fine.”
He nibbled on her neck and palmed her ass. “You smell so fucking amazing, T. I just want to breathe you in all damn day.”
She sighed and let him take a deep sniff of her hair.
“Now, tomorrow?”
“It’s Saturday, so I have to help Dad,” she answered.
He went stiff as his guts took a churn or two. “Right. You have cattle to move.” He used to come over most Saturdays and help her father with the ranch, but now that wouldn’t be possible. He couldn’t help but wonder if Ted Brisco would want a son-in-law who couldn’t even ride a horse.
“Well, I don’t know what he has planned, he’s been doing some renovations to the chicken house, so it might be working around there, I’m just not sure,” she answered.
He stepped back and nodded woodenly. “Okay. Well, can I call you after? Could we have dinner?”
She watched him in the weak light of her porch lamp, her eyes dark and unreadable.
“I’m not sure that’s a great idea, Vaughn.”
His chest tightened.
“What?”
She shook her head slightly and looked down at the porch floor. “Mm, I just…”
He slid a finger under her chin and forced her to look up at him. He knew exactly what she was thinking, and while
it wounded his pride, he couldn’t blame her, and he wouldn’t let it stop him.
“You still don’t think I’m going to stick it out.” He didn’t ask the question, just made a statement of fact.
She looked at him sadly. “I can’t go through it again.” Her voice was low and gritty.
“Hey—” He bent a touch to catch her gaze. “You won’t have to.” Then he caressed her cheek and gave her a steady smile. “But I don’t expect you to take my word for it. I’m going to prove it to you, Theodora Jayne. I’m going to prove that I love you and that I’m back in your life for good.”
Then he kissed her on the cheek and walked back to his truck. Actions spoke louder than words. Vaughn’s dad had taught him that years ago. It was time to remember the lesson.
T.J. had just finished putting her horse up for the night when she saw him walking up the driveway to her parents’ house.
She stood staring for a moment, wondering if he’d finally driven her so crazy that she was hallucinating.
“Well, if it isn’t the youngest Jenkins boy,” her dad said as he moved off the front porch and went to shake Vaughn’s hand.
Vaughn switched the bouquet he was carrying to the other hand and shook hands with Ted. T.J. just blinked at the two of them for a few moments.
“So, does this mean what I think it does?” her mother murmured from behind her. T.J. hadn’t even heard her approach.
“What do you think it means?” she asked as she continued to watch the two men talk and laugh.
“Well, it sure looks like a young man coming to court the woman he loves.”
T.J. snorted. “He might think that’s what he’s doing, but give him a few days. He’ll get tired of it.”
She heard her mother sigh. “Or maybe he’s finally pulling himself out of that tailspin?”
She turned to face her mom. “Why? What’s changed? Why would he do it now?”
Her mother reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind T.J.’s ear. “Because he realized he was going to lose you.”
She shook her head, wondering if there was any way to explain her heart without sounding like a crazy person.
“But he wasn’t. Not really. Even if I didn’t talk to him for the next forty years, I’d still belong to him.” She looked over at him again. “And I hate it.”
Her mom pulled T.J. into a tight hug, caressing her hair as she used a soothing voice. “He doesn’t have to know that. A little fear is good for him, a little concern that you dating someone else and not speaking to him means your heart is gone too.”
She pulled back to look T.J. in the eyes. “And I know it feels like a prison right now, but once you two learn to trust each other again, it’s going to be the most freeing thing in the world. The security that loving that one special person gives you will let you fly. I promise, sweetheart. Take it slow, make him work for it, but know that the end is in sight, and it’s going to be beautiful.”
“What are you two whispering about?” Ted called. “The boy’s come to see T.J. Get on over here.”
T.J.’s mom chuckled. “And if you don’t marry Vaughn, maybe your father can.”
T.J. laughed, taking a shaky breath and stiffening her spine before she walked to her dad and Vaughn.
“Hi,” she said as she reached him. Somehow her parents faded away before she even realized it, and she was left standing there facing Vaughn like she had in the same spot hundreds of times before. But it felt different this time—significant and serious.
“How was your day?” he asked quietly, watching her with deep eyes and a gentle smile.
“It was okay,” she answered.
“These are for you,” he said, holding out the bouquet of wildflowers. He knew she wasn’t a roses-and-tulips kind of girl.
She accepted the bundle and buried her nose in the daisies, lilacs, and sunflowers. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “I should probably put them in water. Are you up for a walk to my house with me?”
He nodded, and they said goodbye to her parents, then set off down the main driveway until they reached the little cutoff that led to her guesthouse hidden behind a copse of trees. She considered slowing her pace to accommodate for his leg, but decided that if he needed her to, he’d have to say so. He never did.
When they reached the house, he followed her inside. “I’ll be right back,” she told him as she moved from the living room to the kitchen. “I have a vase in here somewhere.”
She pulled a blue glass vase out from under the kitchen sink and filled it with water before placing the flowers in it. As she turned to head back to the living room, she bumped right into Vaughn where he stood watching her.
“Oh!”
He grabbed her arms, preventing the vase from tipping over.
“They look nice,” he said, his eyes on her rather than the flowers.
She swallowed, her pulse ratcheting up.
“They do.”
They were frozen there, neither of them moving. She cleared her throat. “Um—”
“I’m here to take you to dinner,” he said.
She nodded once quickly before moving around him and setting the flowers on the bar top that flowed into the living room.
He followed her, quiet, big, determined.
“T.? Are you going to let me take you out?”
She paused, her hand on the back of the sofa. Truth be told, she was heading for the door, feeling like being inside with him was too close, too confining.
“What does the dinner mean?” she asked without looking back at him.
Then he was there, his body hot and big, not pressing against her, but oh so close.
“What do you want it to mean?”
She gave a soft snort of laughter. “That’s the six-million-dollar question, isn’t it?”
His head dipped to her ear, his breath tickling the hair on her neck.
“I can tell you what it means to me, but I said I’ll take things however slow you want. I’ve been driving this for a lot of years. It’s time for you to be in charge.” He paused. “As long as that doesn’t mean kicking me to the curb completely.”
She could hear her heart thump-thumping in her ears, and electricity tingled along her spine where he was so close he nearly, but not quite, touched her.
Then he was touching her, featherlight, a finger that ran along the side of her neck, stroking, smoothing, exploring. It was followed by his lips, and she melted, her entire body shifting to accommodate his mass, the sensation of him all around her.
“Baby?” he asked.
“Dinner means dinner,” she finally answered, her words strong but her voice breathy. “I’m hungry.”
He chuckled. “Me too.” She knew immediately he wasn’t referring to food.
“That’s not on the menu, though,” she told him decisively. “It was a one-time thing.”
“Whatever you say,” he answered cheerfully as he strode past her and opened the front door. “You’re the boss.”
She rolled her eyes before walking through. Never once in nearly twenty years had she been the boss, and she knew it would be foolish to think she was now. No, she was at the mercy of his fears, and sooner or later, they’d come back, pushing him away from her for the last time. Until then, she guessed she’d let him feed her. It was the least he could do, all things considered.
She didn’t let him kiss her good night, she didn’t answer his texts the next three days, and she canceled their PT session on Wednesday. Vaughn had known it wouldn’t be easy, but he also hadn’t counted on not being able to see her, talk to her, continue to make his case. And, in all honesty, he’d thought when he’d been inside her for the first time in six years that it was a pretty clear indication of progress.
Obviously, he’d been sadly mistaken.
Finally, Wednesday afternoon at five, he drove to her house and planted himself on her front porch. She had to come home eventually. He’d wait as long as it took.
The waiting ended up being the easy part
. The hard part was when she arrived in a car driven by the asshole she’d been dating. Vaughn felt an elemental rage boil up in his chest when he saw who was at the wheel of that expensive SUV, and he stood from the porch swing with fury ready to fly from his fists.
Something in T.J.’s face through the car windshield got him to pause, though, and he took a deep, cleansing breath before starting down the porch stairs. He had to be reasonable. They hadn’t discussed this—other men—so he probably needed to hold off before yanking the bastard out of the driver’s seat and introducing him to the hood of his car.
Before he could reach them, T.J. was out of the car, and he watched as the guy slowly reversed down the driveway, his eyes narrowed on Vaughn before he turned away to back up.
Vaughn breathed deep once more. Patience, man, patience.
“Hey,” he said as T.J. reached him, her brow furrowed and lips pressed together.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
“You won’t answer my texts. You canceled our appointment—”
“I’ve been busy—”
“You’ve been avoiding me.”
She looked at him, frustration oozing from her pores. Well, fuck it all, he was frustrated too. He wasn’t the one running away this time. He was sticking, and she was…out with other men.
“What were you doing with him?” he finally asked, sounding more than a little petulant but not really caring.
She moved past him, just a bit shy of actually stomping.
“No one asked you to come wait around here for me.”
“Well, if you’d quit avoiding me, I wouldn’t have to.”
He followed her up onto the porch, where she glanced at him over her shoulder before reaching under the flowerpot and extracting the key to her front door. He gritted his teeth.
“Are you trying to drive me insane?” he asked, scrubbing a hand through his hair.
She ignored him and unlocked the door, leaving the key in the dead bolt as she marched in.
He growled, pulled the key from the lock, pocketed it, and followed her, closing the door behind them.
Vaughn's Pride: California Cowboys Page 12