“Just keep Alice in sight at all times, okay?” Lexia said quietly.
“Understood,” Belinda answered with a nod.
“Why do I get the feeling there is more?” Derrick asked, the second they were alone.
Lexia’s eyes went to the cameras on the wall following them. “Not here,” she whispered.
Chapter 30
Driving out of the compound felt like breaking water after days of drowning. Even though rain pelted against her face as she drove, she kept the window beside her open. Breathing deeply, Lexia sighed as the smell of damp earth and the musty aroma of moss and fern wrapped around her. For a second, she was home.
“And here I was thinking summer had arrived early,” Derrick commented, his eyes fixed on the forest as they passed.
“It had been unusually warm for late spring. It was nice while it lasted,” she replied, reluctantly closing the window.
The pace was slow going. The ground was sodden with water. It looked as if it had been raining for days, though Lexia wouldn’t have known. The wipers worked overtime, clearing the window for a split second before the rain coated it again.
“So what’s going on, Lex?”
“I’m not sure. It might have been nothing. She said something that really rattled me.”
“What?”
“Sometimes we must admit defeat and start again.”
“Start what again?” Derrick asked.
Lexia thought back, replaying the conversation in her head. Taking into account Lucy’s strange behavior and lack of care for the hunters she’d created, she came to her gruesome conclusion. “I think…I think she meant the hunters.” The words felt wrong on her lips. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just reading too much into it. She’s always been crazy. I just…I just can’t shake the feeling that she only needs those on her list.”
“That list seemed random. Not all the elite were on there.”
“Yes, but is there really such a thing as the elite anymore? For weeks now, we’ve had no real missions. She’s not kept the elite by her side. Lucy’s working on her own agenda and now she thinks I’m on her side, she had no need for everyone.”
Derrick was quiet for a minute; the only sound the pounding rain and the scrape of metal as they passed through the rough terrain. “It doesn’t matter. Four days and this is all over.”
“It’s going to be the longest four days of my life,” Lexia muttered. Thinking of the approaching battle, reminded Lexia she needed to meet Grey. “Here, ring Grey.” Lexia passed Derrick the cell.
“Me?”
“Do you wanna crash and die? Well, we’d probably not die, but it would be an inconvenience.”
Reluctantly, Derrick dialed, putting the cell on speaker and placing it on the dash.
“Lexia?”
“Grey, I’m out. Can we meet now? Where the track meets the road?”
“That far?”
“Yes. I can’t stop for long. I’m on a tight schedule,” she answered bluntly, not in the mood for chit chat.
“Okay,” he grumbled.
“And, Grey, come alone. There is no need for us to draw attention to ourselves.”
She heard his muffled growl, but he agreed before ending the call. Lexia reached for the cell, slipping it back in her pocket, her eyes on the road the whole time.
“Do we have time for this?” Derrick asked.
“Probably not, but it is unlikely I’ll be out again. I’d quite like to know the entrance we are to leave from. Wouldn’t you?”
“Yes,” Derrick replied, rather unenthusiastically.
Lexia glanced across at him. “I’d have thought you’d be happy by the prospect of freedom, after all these years?”
“I am, and I’m not. It’s hard to explain.”
“Try me,” Lexia offered with a smile.
“I don’t know how to be anyone else, Lex. What I am has been a part of me for a long time. Who am I when this is all over?” The raw pain and utter hopelessness in his voice hurt Lexia as if it were her own. She knew how he felt. She didn’t know where she fit when the battle was finally over. She wasn’t sure she deserved to fit. Maybe she was taking the easy option, wanting to die along with the compound, but then the other option was to try and find her place with Lincoln…and after all she had done…Lexia felt death was what she deserved.
“You’ll still be you – loyal, brave – only now you’ll finally have a chance to be a husband and father.”
“For all I know they’ve moved on, Lex. They think I’m dead. It wouldn’t be fair for me to walk back into their lives.”
“It wouldn’t be fair for your daughter to not know her father.” Lexia slipped her hand inside her pocket, her fingers searching for the picture she’d placed there after searching Lucy’s office. “You deserve to know her,” she said softly, passing him the photo.
His eyes widened, filling with the agony he was normally so good at keeping locked away. “Where’d you get this?” he whispered, his voice rough with emotion.
“Inside a file in Lucy’s office,” she admitted, wincing as she anticipated his reaction.
“You what?” he yelled, all pain suddenly gone. “Lexia, why would you be so reckless?”
Taking her eyes off the road, she glared at Derrick. “Lucy had taken enough from you. She doesn’t get that as well.”
Derrick didn’t have time to argue further. Grey appeared beside the car, running in wolf form. Lexia pulled the truck over. “Stay in the car. I won’t be long,” she said, jumping out into the rain.
Spotting Grey just out of view from any passing cars, she jogged over. Her feet struggled to find grip in the sludgy mud. Hunching her shoulders against the driving rain, she stopped a few feet before him.
Though Grey was naked, the rain running over his body in tiny rivers, it didn’t seem to bother him. “Wonderful weather.” Lexia laughed.
Raising an eyebrow, he replied, “You’re short on time and you’d like to chat about the godforsaken rain that hasn’t let up in days?”
“Show me the exit,” she answered, all laughter gone from her voice.
Turning his back against the rain, Grey pulled out the sheet of paper from its plastic cover. “It’s a little worse for wear, with the rain and having only a mouth for carrying.” Pointing on the map, he continued, “This is the usual exit you sneak out of, the cargo hold, so we were thinking this one. Its center and the land around it runs flat, before sloping up, giving us the better advantage for containment, plus there is a panel of fencing that’s not electrified.”
“I’m happy with that,” Lexia answered, already turning to leave.
“You don’t want to go over the plan again?” Grey asked after her.
“It’s on my cell, Grey. I’ve supplies to collect. Try not to blow the truck up this time. Not much point rescuing a race who are starved to death.”
“Kill her and get out, Lexia.”
“That’s the plan,” she called, jogging for the truck.
“Is it?” he asked following.
Lexia stopped. Turning slowly, she could hardly see him through the driving rain. “What are you getting at, Grey?”
“I see it in your eyes, Lex. You have never planned to live through this war.”
“I’m tired, Grey,” she answered sadly. She didn’t owe him any more explanation.
“So is your mate.”
Lexia felt his words like a slap. Needing to get away, she ran, slipping and sliding until she reached the truck.
“Everything all right?” Derrick asked as she jumped in, setting off far too fast.
“Not really, but then when have things ever been okay?”
Talking ceased until they reached the airport. Lexia’s mind focused on the panther she hurt every day, a panther she both longed to be with and needed to run from.
“Over there,” Derrick indicated as they arrived. “What do you suppose this package is?”
“I’d rather not know,” Lexia muttered, glancing at hi
m as she rounded a corner.
“Park here,” Derrick instructed.
“How are we supposed to know who to meet?” Lexia gazed out the window trying to see through the rain. She never noticed the man until he tapped on the glass. Jumping, she glanced at Derrick before pulling her powers around her. Looking in the mirror, her eyes turned golden, the set of her mouth hardening, the glare in her eye telling all she demanded respect. Lexia’s mask was in place.
“Yes?” she snapped, harshly.
The man faltered, the words on his throat dying. He held his umbrella in one hand; the other cradled a box.
“Can I help you?” Lexia asked, a little more softly.
“I’m looking for Maura,” the man replied, quietly.
“That the package?” Lexia asked, looking at the box he held.
“Y-yes.”
Pulling the handle, Lexia glared until the man took a step back. Stepping out into the rain, she held out her hand.
Reluctantly, the man handed it over. Lexia held the box up, wondering what was inside when the man suddenly found his confidence again.
“Careful,” he yelled. “The package is to be handled with the utmost care,” he continued, slightly less irate.
“What is it?” Lexia asked.
“Not any of your concern,” he answered, trembling on the last word. “Just know, it is of the greatest importance to handle the box with care, and it mustn’t be opened.”
“Right. Derrick.” She handed him the box. Turning back to the man, she asked, “Where’s the rest?”
“Follow this road down. There’s someone waiting to load the rest of your supplies at the first hangar.”
“Thanks.” Climbing back in, she slammed her door, driving off without a backward glance.
“It’s locked,” Derrick stated.
Laughing, Lexia asked, “Did you not hear the part about not opening?”
“Going deaf in my old age,” he answered, trying to keep the smile from his face.
Reaching the hangar, the crates were loaded and Lexia and Derrick were soon driving back toward the compound. As she drove, Lexia couldn’t shake the feeling growing within her. For some time, she’d felt as if a ticking clock were torturing her; a constant reminder that time was running out. Only now she was on borrowed time; the danger was here. Lexia just didn’t know what it was yet.
“I wish there were some way to not deliver that package,” Lexia said into the quiet. Though the constant drum of the rain was calming, she couldn’t stand the silence anymore.
“It doesn’t matter, Lex. Four…well, in three and a half days now, this will all be over. You’ll be free to go back to him.”
Oh, if only I deserved to go back to him. Just the thought of him makes me hurt. I can’t. I won’t taint him with my darkness.
“Then why do I feel like four days is too long. We’re out of time, Derrick. You’ve just not realized it yet.”
Deciding to change the subject, Derrick turned the conversation to the weather. “I hope this rain lets up. The track is going to be a nightmare to drive down.”
Lexia mustered a small smile, before turning off the road and steering steadily onto the unmarked path that would eventually lead them to the hidden compound. The going was very rough. The rain ran in torrents across the ground causing rivulets in the earth. Lexia struggled to avoid them all; the path had become so water-logged.
She found herself almost stopping. The visibility became so bad, the windshield wipers continued their relentless fight against the rain. “Shit!” she swore as the back tires skidded sideways, the ground beneath the car sliding as the water eroded it away. Turning the wheel quickly and accelerating out of the slide, Lexia carried on. Her full concentration on the drive ahead, she squinted through the darkness when she was sucker punched to the stomach. Her breath gasped out of her in a sudden hiss, dying off to a gargled cry as the cage inside of her burst open. Every kill, every emotion she’d locked away, burst out.
Her foot hit the break before he’d even jumped in her path – because she knew he was here. There was only one person in the world who could strip away every shield she’d wrapped around herself. Only one person who could reach her soul, her heart through the mountain of pain and torment inside of her.
“Linc,” she cried breathlessly, her eyes searching the dark night.
Finding the glow of his eyes first, Lexia stared as the black panther loped out of the trees, flashing his eyes at her.
He’d found her. After all this time, he’d found her. Stepping out of the vehicle in a daze, the torrential rain soaked her clothes instantly. Her feet struggled to find footing in the sodden earth. She walked toward the majestic cat. Standing in the beam of the headlights, overcome with emotions, she was stripped of words, lost in the chaos of her mind.
“Linc,” Lexia whispered, afraid her dream may shatter into a million pieces, but Lincoln wasn’t a dream. He’d found her – just like she always knew he would. Her past had been galloping toward her and had finally collided.
“Lexia?” Derrick murmured softly, placing his hand on her shoulder. The caring gesture snapped her out the daze.
“Take your hand from my mate, hunter,” Lincoln growled as he suddenly shifted.
“Lincoln, leave him,” she said, taking a tentative step toward him. “What are you doing here?” She sighed longingly.
“I promised you I’d never let the darkness take you. You are mine, Lex. The hunters can’t have you.”
Sucked back to a memory, Lexia dropped to her knees screaming, the skull-cracking pain in her head too much to bear. She could hear Lincoln and Derrick shouting at her, but she’d lost all control of her body. Falling forward, her hands gripped the ground as they were swallowed by thick mud.
She sat in Lincoln’s arms. His warmth seeped into her bones, warming her down to her very soul.
“Killing is never easy, Lex, but sometimes it’s necessary. Sometimes we have no choice. You have to find balance, find a way to deal with it before it destroys you.”
“No, Linc, you’re wrong. The killing, that’s easy. To me it’s as natural as breathing. Admitting deep down inside to enjoying it, to relish in the power I have over people, that’s the hard part. That part will destroy me, because one day, I might stop being disgusted with myself. One day, I might truly be lost and every kill – every life I take – will give me pleasure, make me smile. I hope that day never comes.”
“Lexia,” he whispered.
“Just give me space, Linc, please?” She rose from his lap, feeling like she didn’t deserve his love.
“Lexia, that will never happen. Are you listening? I will never let that happen.”
The memory broke free the feelings she’d hidden inside of her. Gripping her head, she rocked as she remembered faces of the dead, their screams, their pleas, and her joy.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered to them. “I’m so sorry.” Dragging in a deep breath in hopes of calming herself, she concentrated to the frantic beating of her heart. Each pump whooshed in her ears, drowning out the memories.
Her eyes found Lincoln. Remembering how he’d smiled, how his eyes would burn with desire…she remembered every sweet smile, every caress. Oh, how she missed his touch, missed feeling like the most treasured person in the world.
It didn’t matter how much it hurt to feel as she did around him. It didn’t matter how many people Maura had killed with her hands. Lincoln had the power to reach through every layer of darkness. There was no power equal to his love.
The words slipped from her mouth before she could stop them. “My pretty panther,” she said on a broken sob. Sitting back on her heels, she looked up at him as he took a step toward her. Rain mixed with the tears running down her face as she remained powerless to move.
Lincoln dropped to his knees with a pained cry, his eyes looking vulnerably human. Unable to speak, she smiled through her sobs, tilting her head ever so slightly before giving in and falling into his arms. Pulling back
, she stared into his eyes, her fingers touching his face, as he touched hers, lips crashing together in desperation. They kissed, rain dripping from their hair, mingling with their tears.
The rain blinded them and froze their tortured souls. It was tragic and divine, and as they pulled apart, Lexia felt herself fracture. Every broken, patched back together piece of her fell apart. Her power left her in a broken cry as her eyes turned blue. She fell onto her hands, resting her head against his chest.
“Linc, you should have never come. Why did you come? You’ve put yourself in danger,” she said against his chest, taking every effort to keep the tremble from her words, yet failing.
“How could I just leave you? Come with me, Lex,” he begged.
“I can’t. It’s not that simple.” She wished there was some other way. Wished she had somehow ended up in a universe where her ledger was clean.
She looked up into his face, into eyes that had haunted her every night she slept, eyes that she’d missed more than anything since joining her mother.
“Lexia, we are out of time. Sorry, but we need to leave,” Derrick said, his voice sounding pained.
Lincoln growled, the panther flashing into his eyes.
Lexia put her hand on Lincoln’s chest. “Shush, leave him.”
“Leave him! Who is he to tell you what to do?”
Anger taking over her, she snapped, “He. Is. My. Friend. He has stood by me, protected me through every day and moment of torture my mother inflicted.”
Lexia stood on unsteady feet, stepping back as Lincoln reached for her with a desperation in his eyes that tore a hole in her soul. Her breaths became heavy. She couldn’t handle this. All these emotions bombarded her and her hands shook. “This can’t be happening. Not now. I’m so close.”
A hand rested on her shoulder, stopping her in her rambling. Spinning around, she pleaded, “What do I do, Derrick?”
“Lex, only you can decide that. You can leave with Lincoln. I’ll stall Lucy as long as possible. You deserve to be happy.”
“So do you,” she answered. Looking at Lincoln, she wanted nothing more than to run away, to forget the past, but that wasn’t her destiny. It never had been. “I...I need to finish this.” Her voice was firm. Dragging in a breath as she pulled herself back together, she prepared to say goodbye to Lincoln once again.
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