Chris smiles at me, “You don’t do rational baby, that’s one of the things I love about you. Your heart and passion goes into everything.”
I’m floored by his declaration and how he really sees me and it’s in moments like these that I feel this can work. I can help him be the person he wants to be.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Getting rid of stuff. I need that old lifestyle gone and that includes reminders and props,” he replies shaking the garbage bag he’s holding.
“That’s nasty. OK. I need to say some things.”
Chris looks panicked, “Oh shit, already?”
“Yes. Be quiet and let me get them out. I told you I wasn’t going to let you run away and I meant that, but I need to know what you want. I can’t carry on being the only one to fight for us Chris. I have to know you’re on board.”
Chris is looking deep into my eyes and I know he’s trying to work out how truthful my words are. “I want you Neely. I always have. I want there to be an us. I just don’t know how to do it or be in it and I’m scared that I’m going to fuck things up. What if what we have is where it’s meant to stay and things are best left alone?”
“There’s a lot to go over there, but I can’t force your decision. I meant what I said, I can move past the gory revelations from last night, but I can’t win this fight on my own. I know you’ll run if I give you time to think, so I want an answer now. Are you in or out?”
“Yes Chris, are you in or out?” returns a female voice from the outer barn door.
“Polly, what the fuck are you doing here?” Chris growls in her direction.
“Heard a rumor of a love declaration in Purps last night, thought I’d come and see if it was true.” I wait for Chris to answer her because I’m staying out of this, she’s nothing to me and if I get involved things will get real ugly, very quickly.
“Apart from the fact that it has fuck all to do with you, I told you to stay away from my ranch,” he tells her.
“Ah, poor Chris, still embarrassed about owning up to his feelings. What a cute little fuck up you are,” she teases back at him.
“You’ve got five seconds to turn your ass around and get off my property you little bitch.”
“It was a cute speech that you just gave her, but I‘d put money on your gut instinct and preference being that you want to throw her on that bench top and fuck her like you did before and have done to so many others.”
Chris’s whole demeanor changes and his body goes ram rod straight, you don’t have to know him well to know he’s a man on the edge of an explosion. “Three seconds now Polly.”
“Neely, it won’t last he is incapable of commitment and real feelings and you’ll be back to just being a fuck on his bench before you know it.”
I’ve had enough and I need to show support for my guy. “We’ll see about that,” I say, “But if I want advice on how to get it wrong and turn a man off, I’ll come and find you.” I’ve got a grip on my composure because both Chris and I can’t lose our cool over this. “You’re still here Polly, I thought Chris had asked you to leave, or is it my turn to threaten to shoot a trespasser?” I remind her of her own words and the spark of recognition kicks her into action, but Polly, being Polly, has to have the last word.
“Pretty soon Chris your world is going to come crashing down and I’ll be there to watch,” she strides off leaving us pondering her words.
“Well she’s a laugh a minute, are all the ex conquests this much fun?”
“What do you think she meant with that last comment?” He asks me.
“I think she thought she was being clever. She thinks you’ll read her words and attribute them to us getting together. However, we know different, so I imagine she’s referring to ranch stuff.”
“Fuck, I need to tell Jonas,” he barks and then turns to leave the barn.
“Um, Chris, have you forgotten something? I want an answer. Are you in or out?”
Chris hesitates for a brief second and moves swiftly until he’s stood right in front of me. He takes my face in his hands and begins to stroke my cheeks with his thumbs, “I want to be in so badly, because a good woman makes your dick hard and not your life. Everything about us feels right but I’m terrified. I don't know how to do this. I’m not a good guy Neely and I don’t deserve you.”
“Are you going to fuck other women behind my back?” I ask and I know if he hesitates or even fucking blinks this time I will have my true answer.
“Absolutely not.”
“Are you going to forget all that shit and make a fresh start with this, with me, being the guy we all know you are?”
“I can try, but are you sure you can forget it?” he asks tentatively.
“I will put aside my need to be a typical female and constantly throw your mistakes back at you.”
Chris laughs at me and leans in to give me a soft kiss on my lips. “We go slow and steady then?”
“Yes, totally slow and steady Chris, anything else could break us forever.”
“Babe, I want you to have your fairy tale, but have you read any fairy tales? They’re pretty messed up. I want you to have something real.”
“Sounds like you’ve just described what we have then,” I answer back.
Chris gently kisses me again and puts his arms around my body, hugging me. Finally, this is the Chris I knew I wanted and loved. Hearing him say these things, right here in this barn, has wiped out the awful night we shared here previously.
I know I’m strong enough for both of us and Chris will get stronger with me but, because we both want to, we will make this work.
Chapter Twenty One
Chris had called Jonas on our way back to the ranch house to warn him that we had entertained an unwelcome visitor in the form of Polly. He conveyed our thoughts that she was making a veiled threat about the ranch. Jonas advised that he’d let Ross know and if we were required to do anything apart from carry on as normal he’d call. There were also times during the phone call with him when Chris fell silent, I knew this was when Jonas was asking personal questions about us. Chris gave short answers and was frustrated by the end. Maybe, just maybe our friends were rooting for us too.
“I need to go back to my mom and dad’s and change. I also need to tell them that I’ll be extending my stay at the granny flat since my apartment is going to need redecorating and furnishing. Can you drive me over there?”
“Yeah, sure, just let me take care of some stuff here first. Is that OK?”
“Of course, do what you need to do. In fact, I’ll wander over to Dolly’s and get her to take me if that’s easier?”
“No, I want to take you, I just need to set some work up here first. Give me thirty minutes OK?”
“Sure, I’ll go and get comfy with the TV remote and a can of soda.” We kiss again and go our separate ways.
It was the first time I sat around and did nothing for a while, it gave me the chance to mellow out a bit and think. Although thinking sometimes isn’t good, I stop over thinking things and turn my attention to my surroundings. Chris had a truly beautiful house, but it didn’t feel like a home. I let my imagination run wild and could picture myself baking in the kitchen or watching our children playing in the yard.
Whoa... slow down Neely. One step at a time, you’re starting to sound like Polly!
What is the matter with me, I go from thinking murderous thoughts about him to, us being Hawkstown’s version of the Waltons.
Chris returned and we made the journey to my parents place, he was clearly anxious and it wasn’t long before I remembered that my mom had taken him to task over his reputation.
This visit could be interesting and uncomfortable.
I knew that my mom had seen us come up the drive and head for the granny flat, it was only about ten minutes after that my dad stuck his head round the door and shouted, “Kids, lunch will be on the table in five minutes.” Chris’s face dropped, this was not a lunch date he was looking forward to.<
br />
“You may as well get it over with. I’m kind of a package deal with my Mom and Dad, I’m very attached to them, they’re in my life too,” I joked.
“I know, it’s just last time didn’t end so well and I’m feeling a little battle weary right now.”
I dropped what I was doing and went to him, it was my turn to reassure him and I used the same tactic he did earlier. I took his face in my hands and looked him in the eyes, “Hey, she just wants me happy. If you’re my choice she’ll accept it, but she’ll want to know you’re handling me with precious care.” I lean onto my tiptoes and put a kiss on his lips. “Anyway, it’s my dad that has the keys to the gun safe.”
“Shit Neels, not funny. I feel like this could all fall through my fingers if I make the wrong move.”
“Well it could, but it would have to be a shockingly wrong move. So just go with the flow. Of course, you’ve still got to date me, I’m expecting a traditional courtship Mr Hales.”
“Well that there is one shockingly wrong move I could make,” he grumbles.
“We’ll see, lunch time. Batter up Hales,” I smile and drag him out the door behind me.
In an identical setting as the last lunch we had, we all took a seat. I just hoped that this time was more of a do over for us all. We start loading plates with food and my mom wastes no time in getting down to business. “Chris, I feel I must apologize to you about the last time you came to lunch. Clearly, some things are not my business and I shouldn’t have got involved.”
“No apology is necessary Maiara.”
“However,” oh God, here we go, “I stand by some of the things I did say.”
“I understand and quite frankly, I probably needed to hear those things. I need you to know I care deeply for Neely and will do all I can to prove that to you.”
Wow.
It was difficult for him to lay himself out last night and I get the impression this wasn’t much easier, but I am very impressed with his effort to be open about his feelings. In effort to convey this to him I rub my toes up the inside of his shin and over his knee until my leg will reach no further. Chris stills and looks at me, his smile is gorgeous and the twinkle in his eyes confirms I’m doing the right thing by being with him. The way he clamps my foot between his strong thighs also tells me something else, I am clearly teasing the cowboy sat by me.
Oh my.
Chris releases my foot after a few minutes and the lunch proceeds.
“Neely,” my dad says, “I imagine you need to stay for a while, your apartment was a mess.”
“Yeah, I think so. Is that OK?”
“Of course, is it connected to that case you were working on?”
“Um... No. I don't think so, probably just someone who knew I was out of town.” I begin prodding my salad with determination, he’ll know I’m lying but I don’t want my parents to get involved. We’ve been shot at for Christ’s sake, this shit is getting serious.
“She won’t be needing the granny flat,” Chris chips in, “Neely’s going to come and stay with me.”
“I’m what?” I say as my mom also counters his statement with, “Oh really.”
“I think it would be best if Neely came to stay at the ranch, just until we find out who broke in.”
Damn him, he’s right. Staying here could make my mom and dad a target too and I really don’t want that.
“Maiara, I think Chris is probably right, she’s across the way from Dolly and Jonas and I would feel better knowing she’s not alone.”
“It’s the not alone bit I don’t want to think about Mark.”
“Can we not have this discussion now, or even at all?” I ask.
“Sure, we’ll stop talking about it Neels,” Chris says, “There’s nothing to talk about, you’re not staying here in the granny flat on your own.”
“I’m sorry, do you have a say in this?” I snap back.
“I do and you’re going to listen. On this subject my say is final, you’re coming to stay with me. I need to know you’re safe.”
My dad chuckles into his beer bottle and my mom has a stupid grin on her face. “Mom, this is not funny. Are you going to let this caveman tell me where I’m sleeping?”
Mom looks across the table directly at Chris and says, “Welcome back Christopher Hales. You’ve been gone a long time.”
“Mom! Now you're on his side?”
“I’m on the side of anyone who thinks you’re worth protecting and is prepared to argue with you about it in front of me. Discussion over darling. Eat.”
I’m obviously getting nowhere, eating my lunch is the easy option so I take it. Chris will feel some pain for this later. I don’t appreciate being bossed around or handled. Lunch has not turned out the way I expected but I am pleased that he’s got my mom on his side, for the moment.
We finish our lunch and eat cake before Chris declares we should head over to the granny flat to get my things. The short walk from the main house is tense but that’s because I feel like I’m a pot about to boil over. Wisely, Chris recognizes this and doesn’t speak. His actions changes however, as we soon as we get inside. He closes the door behind me and comes at me with a determined look on his face. Before I’m aware of it I’m pinned against the wall with him towering over me.
“Look at me,” he commands, “I know you’re mad, but I want you safe and I think we all know how rebellious you can be.”
“I don’t need you deciding where I should be staying.”
“Do not fight me on this Neely. I want you where I can see you, where I can feel you.” My breath hitches when he says that and it doesn’t go unnoticed. Being close against him, where I can feel him, smell him and touch him, does crazy things to me.
“I see you like being told what to do, under the right enjoyable circumstances, private circumstances. This is definitely an avenue we will be exploring baby.” My eyes drop to the floor and my cheeks blush pink. “Don't be embarrassed by what you feel Neely. I am fucking thrilled to have discovered this.” He leans down and pushes his body into mine, I can feel every taut muscle and hard edge of him. “This Neely, I want to handle, are you going to let me handle you?”
I’m robbed of speech, my mouth is dry because I’m sure all the fluid in my body is pooling in one place, my cooch.
“Answer me Neely,” his lips are so close to mine I can feel his breath wash over me. My tongue has a mind of its own, it darts out of my mouth and touches his lips.
“Yes. I’ll let you handle me,” I say on a strained whisper and then attack his mouth with my own. We both groan in unison and with no effort at all he picks me up and my legs automatically wrap around his waist.
“Fuck, you feel good.” Chris starts to lick and nip my lips with his teeth and it’s all I can do to hold on with my leg muscles because my hands have got an iron grip on his head, holding him in place. “You like that, you like how I make you feel.” He makes his statements and comes back to kiss my mouth. Our tongues duel and fight to get the best out of each other. At this point I’m virtually crawling up his body and he’s dry humping me against the wall.
“Fuck me Chris, God, fuck me,” I plead, as I bite his ear and he groans in return.
Chris’s hands slide under my ass and pull down the joggers of Dolly’s that I’m still wearing. His huge, rough hands hold me perfectly and like a women possessed I begin whimpering, I want him to bring one of his hands round to the front and touch me there.
It’s at that unfortunate moment that his cell phone starts ringing, “Ignore it,” I beg. The ringing ceases after a while and then my cell phone starts. I reaffirm, “Ignore it,” but it doesn’t work, both our cell phones start ringing in unison.
“Someone is really trying to reach us babe we need to deal with whatever it is.” Chris pulls the joggers back up over my ass and then lowers me to the floor. The phones are still ringing and I’m sulking, so I don’t answer mine, I let him get his.
He’s silent for a brief second until, “WHAT...Fuck you’r
e kidding, is anyone hurt? Is there much damage?”
“Chris, what is it? What’s happened?” I ask.
“There’s a fire at the ranch, the hay store is burning. The county fire trucks are trying to get it under control because it’s spreading. They’re worried about the chemicals and pesticides in the nearby barns. We need to go, now.” Chris goes back to the phone call and barks, “We’re on our way,” before he ends the call.
“OK,” something about this feels off. My apartment first, now Chris’s ranch, I can’t help but think we need to tread cautiously. I run to the kitchen window on the way back to his truck and tell my mom what’s going on. At the last minute I shout, “Mom, pack all my stuff from the granny flat and put it in the house please, I’ll collect it later.”
“OK. Go,” she shouts back. I want my stuff safe, especially my laptop and at the moment leaving it all in an empty granny flat doesn’t feel like a wise idea. I need to make sure that Chris is OK, his business will survive a small fire, but a lot of people work there, someone could have been hurt. It’s clear that whatever is going on, we’re better tackling this together.
Chris races his truck like a Nascar driver and when we finally arrive all hell is breaking loose. We both knew it was going to be bad because the plume of smoke in the air could be seen from miles out as we approached the ranch.
“Fucking hell Neely, this is really bad,” he tells me as we get closer, he was becoming more and more agitated and there was nothing I could do or say to make this any less painful than it already was.
Pulling up at the ranch was just unreal, it was like someone was filming a scene from a Hollywood block buster with police cars, fire trucks with miles of hose pipes, flashing lights and people running around. You name it, we could see it before our eyes. The minute his truck came to a standstill, Chris was off and running in the direction of the fire chief who was issuing orders and directing the men trying to put the raging inferno out. Going in to the fray with Chris was something I didn’t want to do, but I had to be there for him as his ranch buildings burned out of control.
Forgiving Love (The Soul Sisters Series Book 2) Page 18