by Queau, Amy
Can I just be done with drama for a while? What did he think? Did he think I’d be happy to see him? Awkward? How about a sick joke. For years I’ve been planning what I’d say to him if I ever saw him again. And here I am, a train wreck and unable to speak!
“Don’t worry about that right now. He’s gone. I’m sure the last person you were expecting to see was the guy that made your life a living hell in high school. I’m just glad I recognized him.”
Charlie reached for the ice chips and Angie guided the straw to her mouth. Charlie could feel the cold water that had gathered at the bottom of the cup trickle down her throat and into her empty stomach. She tried to clear her throat and it only made her cough.
“You are a hot mess, lady. What can I do?”
Charlie shook her head.
“Then I’ll just…talk. Sorry I’ve been M.I.A. lately. I’ve been really busy. But then, I see you have been, too.” She gestured toward the door where Samuel could be seen in the distance, sitting on the waiting room couch.
Charlie smiled and her blood pressure started returning to normal.
She watched Samuel sitting on the couch and she stopped listening to Angie’s ramblings about her new boyfriend. Samuel was pretending not to eavesdrop on the conversation of two women sitting next to him, mostly rolling his eyes. He was thumbing through a magazine, looking anxious. Running his hand through his hair, he set the magazine down on the coffee table and picked up his coffee for a sip. After setting the cup back down, he rubbed the palms of his hands on his jeans while his feet bounced. He stood up and started pacing back and forth. The two ladies on the couch paused in their conversation when Samuel caught their attention. One of them giggled and whispered something to the other. He ran his fingers through his hair again and began walking toward Charlie’s room.
“…So, after I told him what an ass he had made of himself, he apologized—”
Charlie interrupted Angie by tugging on her shirt. She gestured toward the door at Samuel’s face peeking in.
“Oh. Yeah, that’s right. Come in, Sam!” Angie called.
Samuel entered cautiously at first, and saw that Charlie was done crying. He approached her with less hesitation. “Your parents were here earlier. I told them to go home and get some sleep.”
You met my parents! She couldn’t help but smile, which in turn made Samuel smile and bite his bottom lip. He exhaled loudly and folded his arms across his chest.
“Oh, well, if you couldn’t cut the sexual tension in this room with a knife! Sam, it was very nice to meet you. I’ll be going now. I’ll be back in an hour or so, Charlie. But, I work at The Crimson tonight, so I won’t be able to stay long,” Angie said, grabbing her purse and coat.
“It’s o—” Charlie coughed. “It’s okay. I’ll be fine. I’ll call you.” The whispers didn’t hurt as much and she took another sip of water.
Angie bent down and gave Charlie a hug, trying carefully to avoid her broken arm. “Talk to you soon.” Angie smiled at Samuel on her way out of the room. Charlie noticed a few nurses avoiding eye contacting and stepping out of Angie’s way as she strutted out into the hallway.
“That is definitely a feisty one right there. Damn. Remind me to never piss her off,” said Samuel.
Charlie smiled and nodded.
“So, can you speak? Can you tell me why that doctor made you so uncomfortable?”
She closed her eyes. “I don’t want you to worry about it. Really. It’s in the past and it’s really not as big of a deal as what—” Charlie began coughing again.
“Okay. Here. Don’t speak.” He leaned over her and grabbed her pitcher of water and glass, pouring as he spoke. “It’s time for me to talk, then. I gotta get this out, it’s killing me.”
She lifted an eyebrow.
He sighed dramatically before he spoke. “You were supposed to be a revenge fuck.”
Whoa. Not what I was expecting to hear. Wait, a what?
Her eyes opened wide.
“I know. I know. Let me finish.” He looked down to the floor and back up again as he gathered courage for his next words. “That night that I bumped into you at The Crimson…I was extremely attracted to you. Hell, I’ve been attracted to you since college. I even dated Amber thinking that I could get closer to you. That failed once I realized the two of you weren’t friends and that you just sat next to each other in class.”
Charlie took a sip of her water and cleared her throat again.
Hmmm…I’m not buying it…
“So, back to that night at The Crimson…I don’t know if you noticed, but I was there with another girl. That was my most recent girlfriend, Tammy. That night…” He paused, proving it was harder to say than he thought it would be. “That night, she told me she had cheated on me.” He ran his hand through his hair again in distress. “And I was so pissed…so pissed, that I decided to get revenge. Gabe was actually the one that suggested it. Not you in particular, just the idea of the revenge fuck.”
Charlie scanned the room, wondering where the conversation was going next.
“So, after how horrible I felt that night, I remembered seeing you. And I remembered how beautiful you looked…”
She closed her eyes again and waited for him to finish the story and leave.
He continued rambling, as though it was one long run-on sentence. “But then, you were so real. You were so genuine and I liked you. You weren’t fake or pretentious. And then I felt horribly for thinking all I was going to do was have sex with you and toss you to the side. It actually killed me inside, and I knew I couldn’t. I don’t think I could do that to anyone, least of all you. And that, just pisses me off!” His voice had risen to the point of shouting. Charlie could tell he had an immense internal struggle over his intentions with her.
“And that is what I wanted to tell you that night I was supposed to come over. I wanted to tell you that I wanted you, so desperately. But that I couldn’t, and that I hated myself for thinking I ever could for the reasons I had.”
Trying to process all of his words over the past few minutes, she closed her eyes and shook her head in confusion.
“Yeah, I have no idea where that leaves us. But if you’ll let me, I’d like to start over. Because I don’t think I’ve ever had the kind of connection with anyone like I do with you. You’re not like the others.”
But you’re still an ass—
“Can I ask you something?”
Oh, why not? This conversation couldn’t get anymore confusing.
She nodded.
“What were you going to say to me that night—the night of the accident?”
Oh, great. “Nothing.”
“Nothing? But you said…”
“Nothing, Samuel. I wasn’t going to say anything.”
He put his hands over his face and slid them down to his neck. “I’m such a dick.”
“Yep. You are,” she murmured.
“Hello, Ms…Johnson,” a doctor said, staring at Charlie’s chart, walking through the door. “I was told that you would like a different doctor. Not a problem, I’m Doctor Wolf—”
Samuel closed his eyes, angry at the interruption. “I’ll leave. Oh, and Charlie?” Samuel pleaded. “Just, call me. Call if you need anything.”
Charlie didn’t look at Samuel as he picked up his coat and walked out of the room.
Chapter Nine
What do I do now? I can’t very well do my job. The relationship with Samuel is… what is it? It’s seriously messed up. Aaron Paulson is wandering around this hospital… Aaron Paulson! How is that even possible? Doesn’t it take like, eight years to become a doctor? How old are we? Oh my god! It’s been over seven years since I graduated high school, and nine for Aaron. And look at me. Busted, broken, and wasted. A 24-year-old waitress with no boyfriend, living with her parents. Yeah, beat that, Doctor Paulson. Oh, shit. Did he see me naked? I’m in a hospital gown!
Doctor Wolf told Charlie that all of her tests had come back normal, but that they’d l
ike to keep her again overnight to monitor for any signs of infection; so she spent the day in bed.
She flipped through the channels and opted for whatever was on HGTV.
You gotta sort some shit out, Charlie. First of all, you need to figure out why you constantly invite emotionally unavailable men into your life. Which, to be honest, could take years to understand. Second, get a real, full-time job already! Quit allowing your weaknesses to determine your abilities. Your potential has constantly been shot down, and it’s your own damn fault. And third, get the hell out of your parents’ house. I’m sure they aren’t exactly thrilled with the thought of their daughter sponging off of them forever.
Her phone beeped from the other side of the room. She was still hooked up to monitors, IVs, and what looked to be a long tube catching her urine. Oh, I’m sure that was attractive for Samuel to see.
Samuel. I feel like I should be really mad at him. But I’m not. I mean, it’s not like I should be offended that he was attracted to me. Hell, with all the shit going on with Jesse, I couldn’t deny that my intentions with Samuel weren’t similar. Not revenge, so to speak, but like Karal said, ‘an important stepping stone.’ I intended on using him in the same way he wanted to use me.
“Hello, hello!” a chipper nurse called out as she knocked on Charlie’s door.
“Come in.” Oh, my voice is back! Sort of.
“Hi, Charlie. My name is Andrea, and I’ll be your nurse until suppertime.”
“It’s nice to meet you.”
“What do ya say we get these tubes out of you and try to walk around a bit?”
“Sounds good to me. My phone is in my purse—I think it’s on the other side of the room. Could you get it for me?”
Andrea grabbed Charlie’s purse and handed it to her. “There ya go!”
Charlie dug out her phone and started checking the four text messages she had from Samuel, realizing how difficult it was to attempt to maneuver a phone with one hand.
The first one dated the day of the accident.
4:03pm: Hey. Gonna be late. Is seven-thirty okay? xx Sam
The second from that same evening.
7:09pm: I’m on my way. Can’t wait to see you.
“All right, Charlie, this is going to pinch a little,” Andrea said, removing the catheter. “There we go, all done! How’s your pain from one to ten?”
“Aside from feeling like I’ve been in a car accident, I’d say it’s about a three.”
“Gotta stay ahead of that pain! I’ll bring in something for you when we’re done here. You’ll sure need it then.”
Charlie put her phone and purse aside as Andrea helped her into a sitting position, then a standing one. Charlie got a head rush, but the dizziness subsided after a few seconds. She fought the stomach ache that accompanied the faint feeling.
“How is your ankle, dear?”
“It hurts. But not as bad as my arm does.”
“Here, let’s cover you up and head for the hallway,” Andrea said, tying the robe up to cover Charlie’s backside. “Don’t worry, dear. You’ll be feeling better by tonight. I promise. The swelling in your ankle has already gone down a bit.”
Returning to the room after a fifteen minute walk to the lobby and back, Charlie found that her parents had arrived. Charlie got to the bed and Andrea helped her lie down.
“I’ll be right back with the Percocet, Charlie.”
“Hey honey,” Karen said with tears in her eyes.
“Oh Mom, please don’t cry. I’m fine.”
“But, you could have died, Charlie!”
“I know, Mom. But I didn’t. Don’t worry, I’ll be back in tip top shape in just a few weeks.”
Karen nodded her head and wiped the tears away from her eyes with a tissue.
“Hey, Kiddo,” said Bill “You good?”
“Yeah, Pops. I’m good.” Charlie nodded and smiled as her dad playfully punched her good arm.
“What happened to my car? Do you guys know what happened to the other car? Is everyone okay?”
“It’s totaled. Don’t worry, we’ll figure something out. You can use the truck until we can afford to get you a new car. And yes, he’s fine. It was just one man, he said he didn’t see the red light,” Karen said.
Charlie let out a sigh of relief. “Good.”
“So, what’s on the menu for lunch? Do you want us to go and pick something up?” asked Bill.
“Oh, no Dad. I can just order something here—”
“Here we go!” Andrea announced, coming back into the room with Charlie’s painkillers. “How’s the pain now?”
“About a four.”
“Okay, perfect time to take them. You might get a little sleepy, so I’d suggest ordering your lunch and taking a quick nap before it gets here.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Charlie turned to her parents. “You guys can go, I’ll be fine. You can come back tonight. Maybe grab some fast food for dinner?”
Charlie emptied the cup of painkillers into her mouth and washed them down.
“Sounds good,” Bill said. “Arby’s?”
Charlie nodded with definite approval. “Thanks, guys. Love you. See you tonight.”
After ordering her lunch, Charlie searched for her phone to read the remaining two messages left by Samuel.
I just left the hospital, and I feel terrible about what I told you.
You should!
She scrolled down to read the next:
Don’t give up on me.
Oh, Samuel.
The Percocet was starting to take effect, and Charlie nodded off a few times, fighting sleep. She shook her head and picked up her phone after thinking about what she should say to Samuel. She replied:
You sure know how to lay it on thick for a third date.
She grinned and set the phone down again.
The beep a few minutes later woke her.
I don’t consider a hospital visit our third date.
She smiled.
Should I? Oh, why not? I can use the drugs as an excuse later.
Every time I see you, I consider it a date.
Upon hitting the send button, Charlie was asleep for the next two hours.
*
Upon waking up, she tried to stretch her arms above her head.
Ouch!
No one was in her room. A tray of Jell-O and toast sat on her table and HGTV was still on the television. There were a few vases of roses, other flower arrangements and greeting cards displayed on the window sill. She quickly checked her phone, which was still conveniently in her hand. No messages. She checked the time: 3:22pm. She threw her head back on her pillow and sighed. Her painkillers were wearing off, so she hit the red button on her bed.
“Nurse’s Station,” a voice called from the intercom behind her.
“Um yes, I need more Percocet, please.”
“Someone will be right there.”
She glanced out into the hallway just as Aaron Paulson was picking up pace to get past her door.
Aaron Paulson. Coward. What kind of person does that to someone? And then, to devote his entire life to saving and helping others? It makes absolutely no sense to me. He doesn’t deserve my thoughts. He doesn’t deserve the speech I’ve been planning for almost a decade to give him. He doesn’t deserve the time I’ve spent hating myself.
“Charlie?” She heard a knock on her door.
“Come in.”
“Here’s that Percocet. Where’s your pain at?”
“About a four.”
“Do you need more water?”
“No, I’m okay. Thank you.”
Just as Andrea was leaving the room, Charlie called her back.
“Oh, Andrea? Could you do me a favor?”
“Yes, Charlie?”
“Could you tell Doctor Paulson that I’d like to speak with him before he leaves for the day?”
“Sure!”
“Thank you.”
Chapter Ten
“Hey, Kiddo! A large roast
beef sandwich and curly fries to the rescue!” said Bill, entering Charlie’s room.
“Yum! Thanks, Pops. I fell asleep earlier and didn’t get a chance to eat lunch. I am starving!”
“You look better, dear,” Karen said. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay. Just a little restless. I need a cigarette. But the doctor said that I should be able to go home tomorrow, if everything looks good.”
“Do you want me to spend the night? I don’t want you to be alone—” Karen began.
“Oh, no Mom. I’ll be fine. I’ll just need a ride home in the morning. So, you can just come back then.”
Charlie dove into the bag of food, grabbed a tangled handful of fries and popped them in her mouth. Because she hadn’t eaten in over a day, her taste buds were on overdrive as soon as the salt hit her tongue. She quickly grabbed her soda and chugged it down. Bill found a baseball game on the television and they all sat down to eat.
As she finished her dinner, Charlie’s nerves were starting to get the best of her, trying to find a way to pump up the courage she was going to need in order to speak to Aaron Paulson. She had an idea of what she was going to say, but wanting to say it and actually saying it were two different things.
“Is she sleeping?” Charlie could hear a faint voice outside her door. Glancing over, she could see only Andrea speaking to someone outside her range of vision.
“No, go on in.”
Carrying a bouquet of tulips, Samuel walked slowly to the entryway and stopped.
“Hey,” he said, glancing at Charlie quickly and then looking down at the floor.
Oh god, he looks good. Every time I see this guy it just gets better. Just the sight of him calms me.
“Well hello, Sam,” Karen said in that all-knowing mom way. “Come on, Billy, let’s give Charlie and Sam a minute.” Karen tugged on Bill’s sleeve.
“What! There’s three minutes left! I never stay awake long enough to see the end of a game—” Bill said in the always-unknowing dad way.
“Bill, we’ll watch it in the waiting room. Come on.”
Karen dragged Bill by the arm to the hallway as Samuel approached Charlie’s bedside cautiously.