by Robin Banks
“What kind am I?”
“The loving kind.” She kisses me. “I don’t know, yet. You’ve probably still got some romance to work out of your system, but I reckon you’re one for settling. And with us,” she blinks rapidly, “well, if you choose to stick with us, you don’t have to choose.”
“What about Nick?”
“He will never settle, that one. Doesn’t have a settling bone in his body.”
“I hope he’s ok.”
“Me too. I hope he got his smile back, but I doubt it. That clusterfuck with float camp must have sucked for him at least as much as it did for Asher. Probably way more. Though, I don’t know. Nick has a way to take things lightly. Way too lightly, sometimes.”
“Do you think he’ll come with us?”
“I don’t know. I hope so. It’d be good for him, I think, under the circumstances. He could walk away from that entire mess. But I’m biased about this, because of how badly I’ve messed up by staying put. We’ll have to see. Whatever he decides, he’ll have to do it fast. I wanna get in and out of there as quick as can be.”
“I’ve never seen him sit on a decision too long.”
“I’ve hardly ever seen him thinking, bless him. Particularly if he’s following his pants.”
“No pants here.”
“You two planning a nudist colony?” Aiden strolls in, looking filthy and rather smug.
“Yup. Looking for new members. You in?”
“No way in hell. Fixed the ruddy ship. Well, patched her up. As well as I can for now.”
Sasha’s on his tail. “Can you hear it? She purrs like a kitten now.”
“Errrr... What are we supposed to be hearing?”
“Hopeless.” Aiden shakes his head in disgust.
I genuinely don’t know what to say. “Sorry? It’s a very nice ship, I’m sure. Very… Aerodynamic?”
Aiden turns to Sasha. “I’m sorry. They can’t help it. It’s their brains. Defective.”
“Well, I’m glad Matilda will have you to take care of her.”
Gwen pats my face. “Loveling, you’re making them eyeroll so much that they’re going to detach a retina.”
“Well, I’m trying. What’s a good compliment for a ship? Shiny? Floaty?”
Gwen turns to Sasha. “I’m so sorry about this.” She gets off my lap and pulls my sleeve. “Love, let’s go to bed before you get beaten to death with a spanner.”
I look at Gwen quizzically. I’m not in the least sleepy, though I’m tired. She doesn’t take the hint.
“Up you come. Nap time. Big day ahead, and all that.” And she drags me off to the bunk room and shuts the door.
“Why am I being put to bed before my curfew?”
“Well, firstly because you didn’t get too much sleep last night, because you never woke me, because you’re a little shit. Secondly, because it’s much harder for people to flirt when there’s a third party watching.”
“You expect Aiden to flirt?”
“No chance. But Sasha strikes me as a resourceful, determined young lady. I’d like her to at least have a chance to find out if they’d make a viable couple, and you being there wouldn’t help. How do you feel about her?”
“Good, I think. Everything about her is consistent. And nice. I like her.”
“I like her too. I wish they had more time together.”
“Yeah, the circumstances aren’t great. But maybe that’ll jolt Aiden out of his shell? You know, make him interested in other people?”
“Oh, love. If he falls for her and they have to split, he’ll spend the next decade mourning her loss.”
“So why are you pushing them together?”
“Getting you out of their way isn’t pushing.”
“It kinda is.”
“It technically isn’t. And I’m ever optimistic, I guess. Aiden needs some love in his life. Poor kid.”
The bunks are way too small for two people. We squeeze in together regardless.
“I can’t sleep,” I grumble into her hair.
“Neither can I.”
“Tell me a story? About home?”
“You’re a poppet, you know that?”
“Yup. Big failure on my programmers’ part. I’m supposed to be able to read and use emotions, not be affected by them.”
“Eh. I’m happy with the results, anyway.”
We lie there in the dim light. I’m crammed against the wall and Gwen is melted into me. Her feelings are so mixed; there’s comfort and fear and an odd, hopeful joy. Somehow, they blend together instead of clashing.
I can hear quite voices filtering through the door, occasionally punctuated by the pitter-patter of tiny trotters. Every now and then I hear giggling. That must be Sasha. Aiden’s emotions are oscillating madly – for him, that is. Every time he feels anything past a certain level, he slaps a lid on it. I’m sad for him and more than half asleep, so I send him a mental hug. He briefly peaks in response, then settles down again. I let Gwen’s breathing lull me to sleep.
Another unpleasant awakening. “Guys? Problem. Not tragic. Come on out? Be quiet.”
Sasha’s yammering into the com, clearly frustrated. “We had a scheduled opening… How is that our problem? Yes, we can hold, but are you going to pay for it? No, I know it’s not your fault, but it’s not my fault either, and it’s going to cost me. Oh. Ok. Do what you can.” She turns the com off and lets off an impressive sequence of profanities. “Well, we’ve got to park ourselves up. The ruddy Fed have screwed up their ruddy schedule, so of course everyone else has to suffer. I’m going to have to park Tilda orbiting the tube, and we’ll have to wait our turn. Dammit.”
“Do we have enough fuel?” I ask. Sasha goggles at me, while Aiden titters. “Ok, I guess that was a silly question.”
“Little bit. Don’t worry. Never took time to explain the difference between a spaceship and a helicopter. My bad.”
“Look now…”
Aiden shrugs at Sasha. “Intellectuals. Too clever for this.”
“Well, fuck you too, buddy.”
Gwen literally stomps her tiny feet. “Kids! Focus! Implications!”
Sasha shrugs. “We’re looking at an indefinite time delay. They can’t tell us anything yet. But a barge like ours just isn’t priority for them.”
“Well, fuck.”
“Were your plans time-dependent?”
“Kinda. We’ll have to deal with that. Were yours?”
“Well, I’d like to get home. I had some time off. It may not happen now.”
“Home is still Pollux?”
“Yes. That’s where my family is. I was hoping to get a chance to check in. I hate working away. But this pays.”
“How long have you been gone now?”
“Four months. Way too long. I’m going to miss my kid’s birthday.”
I don’t need my psi-bility to feel Aiden go rigid.
“Oh. How old are they?”
“He’s turning 6, Terran standard. He’s a great kid. Starting to be a huge help to my parents. I’m very proud of him, but then I would be.”
“Does your husband also work away?” Aiden is asking personal questions now? What next?
Now it’s Sasha’s turn to go rigid. “Never married.”
“Oh. I didn’t mean… Sorry. Very Terran.”
She looks at him with a mixture of defiance and despair. “My Alyosha is a war baby.”
“Oh.” Aiden’s face darkens. He visibly struggles to find his words. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to feel. I am glad you have a fine boy. I am angry about the circumstances. I don’t know the right words.”
“Seems like you do.” She smiles at him, and he blushes like a beetroot. “Well, there’s nothing to do for this. Autopilot is set for orbit. If you guys are happy being left in charge, I’ll turn in for a spell. She’ll be your ship soon, anyway.”
“Yes. Sure. Thank you.”
Once she’s cleared off, Gwen whispers. “Aiden? Maybe you ought to go with?”
<
br /> “Maybe not. Too much… everything. Godsdamn.”
I feel like a moron, but I have to ask. “What is a war baby?”
“Oh, pet.”
“What? Is it a bad thing?”
“No baby is a bad thing. I think, anyway. But war babies…”
Aiden cuts in. “During wars. And after. Women getting raped. Ethnic cleansing of sort. Or troops losing control. Deliberate, accidental, I don’t care. It’s ugly.”
“So Sasha…” I can’t finish the sentence.
“Come here, pet.” Gwen hugs me. “It happens. Men get killed, women get raped. And the opposite, too. War is ugly.”
“Don’t give me that.” Aiden sounds furious.
“I’m not justifying it! I’m just saying that it happens. It shouldn’t, but it does.”
“That was no war, either. Was a Patrol intervention. Allegedly. Citizens against citizens. Explain that.”
“I can’t.” Gwen’s eyes are filling up again.
“I’m sorry. It’s just so…”
I still don’t understand. “So babies are born? Unplanned?”
“Some are born, not all. And yes.”
“And how does the Fed account for them?”
“They don’t. Mostly unregistered.” Aiden’s smile is so ugly it scares me. “Registering would mean admitting it happened.”
“But Sasha can’t be much older than me! How can she have a six year old kid?”
Aiden sounds furious. “She’s 21. You do the math.”
I turn to Gwen. “You knew about this?”
“I’d heard stories. I didn’t know, not as such. Now I do. No way Sasha was lying. You don’t go saying something like that in front of someone you’ve got a crush on unless it’s true.”
Aiden’s face scrolls through emotions so quickly I can’t keep track. “Oh, shit.”
“Is it a problem?”
“No! Why?”
“Well, for a lot of guys it would be a deal-breaker.”
“Why?”
“Because… Doesn’t matter. Because some people are not very nice. All that matters is how you feel about it.”
“I feel too much. And it’s all pointless. Everything about this is wrong.”
“Not really. There’s no reason why you couldn’t try and catch up with her after this.”
“Yeah, but I’d still be me.”
“Honey, it’s for her to judge if that’s a problem. She seems both strong and bright. You don’t have to make that decision for her. And I think she’s a good person. If you don’t try you’ll never know.”
“Precisely. No trying, no failure.”
“But no success either.”
“Failure breaks more than success can ever fix.”
“That’s a very negative attitude.”
“Yeah. Told you. I’m bad news. Oh, fuck it. Worst timing. Need to think. Can we still do this?”
“We have to try, don’t we? But it’ll be trickier. And a lot more time-consuming, perhaps, if we have to wait until Nick is free.”
“How long?”
“No way of knowing. However long it takes to get to Nick. Could be a while if he’s busy.”
“No can do. Can’t just park there. Not if they have a backlog.”
“Shit. Do we need to justify staying on?”
“Yeah.” He rubs his face, smearing the dirt more uniformly. “I can do something. Engineer a failure. We’d need Sasha to help. Or someone to stay on.”
“How long can you give us?”
“Four, five hours tops. Can’t do real damage. Would be stuck for real. Or you could leave me on the tube, come back later.”
“Oh hell no.” “No way!”
“Think about it. May be safest. For you.”
“What about you?”
“This was my idea.”
“Which we went along with, as a necessity. We can’t leave you behind anyway. Still need to crash this tub and we sure as hell can’t do it ourselves. Well, we could, but not on purpose, or safely.”
“Ok. Fair point. So four hour window. I go get Nick. If I’m not back, you go.”
“Doesn’t scan. Same problem. We need you to crash the ship. Maybe we ought to go get Nick and leave you on the ship.”
“No way.”
I’ve had about enough of this. “How about you both shut the fuck up? We’re all going. Sasha can stay with the ship. You know she will, and she can time the repairs to suit us. Four hours. Either we get to Nick, or we don’t. Everything else is fretting over guff. We had at least a sixteen hour window without cadets around Nick. We may still make that.”
Gwen nods. “The kid is right.”
“The kid’s not a kid, either. I’m nearly 21. You were teaching at 21. He was practically running the Tank single-handedly. Asher was getting shot out of the sky. Sasha… whatever. Stop babying me.”
“Why are you yelling at me?” Gwen’s bottom lip is trembling.
“I’m not! I’m… I’m sorry. I’m angry at the universe. Angry that good people get hurt.”
Aiden sounds drained now. “First you get angry. Then you do something about it.”
“Is that what you did?”
“No. Mostly I did nothing. Got angry at myself. Oh, fuck it. This isn’t getting shit done. Anyone hungry? I take pig duties if you cook.”
“Nope.” Gwen wrinkles her nose.
“I don’t think he meant you. He’s not suicidal.”
“Humph. Just keep the food away from me.”
“Still queasy?”
“Yup.”
“That sucks. You go sit up or lie down or whatever works. We can run a ship and manage two piglets.”
Gwen smiles at Aiden. “Maybe you ought to ask Sasha if she wants some food, too. It’s only polite.”
Aiden looks daggers at her, but he goes nonetheless.
Sasha must not be hungry, after all, because we don’t see either of them again for a few hours.
I knock on the bunk room door. “Guys? Noise on the com.” They emerge looking somewhat flustered.
Sasha chatters in the com briefly, then turns around with a resigned smile. “Here we are. Good to go. Are the pigs secured?”
Gwen nods. “Yup. Did Aiden ask you about sitting with the ship?”
“Yes. No problem. I’ll have to reschedule my lift anyway, unless you can fetch me back. No? I thought so.”
“You sure you’re ok putting her back together?” asks Aiden.
“Yeah. Give me a chance to give her a bit of a clean, anyway. And it’ll take a good hour to get the cargo unloaded.”
“Four hours. We’re not back, she’s your ship.”
“If you’re not back, I’ll hold on for you as long as I can. Or I can orbit and come back later.”
“That’s not what I said.”
“If she’s my ship, I can do what the hell I want with her.”
Aiden freezes and blinks. “Right. Ok. Well. Please go home to your son. I saw my mom maybe twenty times in my whole life. I’ll never see her again. No kid deserves that.” And he walks off.
Sasha just stands there with her mouth open, until Gwen goes over to pat her on the arm. “You ok?”
“Yeah. No. I thought you said he was shy and retiring.”
“He doesn’t say much unless he’s got something to say. He feels rather strongly about this.”
“No shit.”
“He’s right, though. We don’t want to get you embroiled in our problems. You’ve done enough as it is getting us here.”
“I get paid, you know.”
“Doesn’t make it any less helpful.”
“Well… You take care, ok?”
“Hopefully it’ll be no bother. If it is,” she sighs, “then it’s likely to be a lot of bother.”
Sasha frowns. “Should you be going?”
“Yes. Well. I have to.”
“Do you though? You could stay here. Be a backup for the guys.”
“Best not. I don’t want to risk getti
ng separated. I’ve already had to leave my husband behind.”
“Ok. But you take care.” And she follows Aiden into the back of the ship.
“Gods, Sasha’s sure over-protective of you. I’m surprised you don’t get annoyed.”
“Nah, she’s alright. I understand where she’s coming from. She means well.”
“Eh. I’d get pissed off in your position.”
“Yes, but you lack my calm temperament. It’s ok, love. Honestly. Come on, time for a last pig check.”
When Aiden and Sasha emerge, they both look sullen.
“We’re set. Take me five minutes to break her, once we land.”
“Time for me to do my job. Unless you want to take her,” she asks Aiden.
“Nah. Bound to fuck it up, with you watching.”
Sasha smiles at him and he blushes, but he doesn’t look away. If Gwen was any smugger, she’d probably explode.
“Ok. Everyone better strap in. Pigs contained and secure?”
“Yup.”
“Here goes.”
Landing a ship on a tube has something to do with matching rotations. It’s mostly automated, but pilots have to know their stuff in case something goes wrong. Crashing into a tube does a ship no good, and tends to piss off the locals. This landing is uneventful, but I still find it frightening to see the huge bulk of the tube fill our windows. The increase in gravity is no picnic, either.
Gwen is unimpressed. “Gods. How big is this damn tube?”
Sasha unstraps herself from the pilot’s seat. “Too big. Wouldn’t like to be third class on here. Well, we’re parked. You’re on.”
Aiden goes off to do his thing, to a soundtrack of banging and muffled swearing. It doesn’t take him long to come back. “All done. Where do the pigs go?”
“Wait till the cargo door is connected. It won’t be long. Our contact should be there. Then I can hand you Matilda’s keys.” She smiles weakly.
“Local time?”
“Just before 19:00. But they’re on 24 hour shifts. Well, the peasants are, anyway.”
“Four hours. Ok?”