I spread my hands out in front of me, studying my fingernails. “And these. They're so ... dark and they make my skin look so much different from that of a human."
Met with silence, I looked over at Lucien. He'd sat up at some point and was staring at me as if I'd sprouted a purple penis between my horns.
"What?"
"Have you lost your mind?"
"Oh, come on!” I stood up on the bed and turned to face him. “Look at me!"
"I am looking at you."
"Do you know how much I can do while I'm in my original form? Absolutely nothing. I can't go to the store, to the bank, or even to a fucking club unless it's Halloween! Hell, I can't even wander the grounds of the mansion."
"You have had this form—and others—for centuries and I have never, ever known you to have issue with these things. Why do you have this sudden desire for such drastic changes?"
I sighed and dropped to my knees, shaking my head. “You couldn't possibly understand."
"Try me,” he said. “And if you don't start talking, I'm not above reading your mind."
"I just ... I see the way Nikolas looks at Peter and I wonder, you know? If I were a little more human on the outside, maybe..."
"Maybe what? You would go to extremes to modify all that you love about your body and this form in hopes that he'll look at you differently?"
"People go to great extremes for love.” I shrugged. “It gets lonely being me, Lucien."
"You are not alone."
"Look around, honey. This isn't a shared space."
"Come here.” He reached for me, pulling me into his arms. “There's something you should know. What happened last night was pretty much because Nikolas is interested in you.” Lucien rested his chin on the top of my head and sighed. “I wanted him to smell me on you—in you—and to know that I took something of his."
"But I'm not his."
"Nikolas’ head is not a place I traverse on a regular basis, but I have been there and I do know that he feels for you."
"I'm not sure what's worse: knowing he feels something and refuses to do anything about it or wondering if he feels anything at all.” Lucien's arms slid down my back and went limp. “Lucien?"
His heart went silent and his breath left him in a soft hiss. I looked up, smiling when I saw that he'd finally succumbed to the sleep of the dead. Instead of moving away from him, I settled him on the bed and curled up against his body, drawing the comforter over us both. One glance at the clock had me shaking my head.
He'd managed to fight the call of dawn for nearly four hours.
* * * *
I awoke with a start, my body going on full alert. Lucien was still dead to the world beside me, but yet, there was someone else here. Negative energy filled the air like a thick fog. No alarms had gone off to indicate movement in the tunnels, but then again, they hadn't gone off when Lucien had come through them either. Fucking rats had probably chewed through a cable again.
I moved off the bed, trying not to make a sound, and grabbed a robe. The moment I walked out of the bedroom that energy turned familiar and I knew exactly who had been here. But there was no sign of him in the living area, no sign of him in the...
Seven empty beer bottles and half a bottle of vodka sat on the table. The table was full of scrapes and scratches, as if he'd sat there and dragged his claws back and forth through the wood as he drank. An empty cigarette box lay on the table and cigarette butts were in a small pile next to it. He hadn't smoked the cigarettes though—he'd eaten them.
I was at a loss at what this meant, or if it meant anything at all. Sometimes Nikolas just had bad nights and my place was where he'd end up. Only, I guess he hadn't expected to find someone else here with me. In my bed.
What this jealousy for him? To leave signs of his presence, but still not do a damned thing about it? I shook my head and sat down in the chair across from the one Nikolas had used. It was such a passive-aggressive thing to do and that wasn't Nikolas at all. If he wanted something, he took it. Plain and simple.
Which only meant one thing: Lucien had been wrong. While Nikolas might have had some sort of feelings for me, it wasn't in the way I wanted him to feel. And that was a bitter pill to swallow.
"Hey.” Lucien's hands gripped my shoulders. “Are you okay?"
I just shook my head.
"Looks like he was here a while."
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry if my being here caused a fight."
"That's just it.” I leaned back into his touch. “We didn't fight. He sat out here and drank and chewed an entire pack of cigarettes instead of waking me up to tell me he was here. What the fuck does that mean?"
"That he is jealous, perhaps?"
"Jealousy does not fit him well,” I growled. “This is so unlike Nikolas. What is this passive-aggression all about?"
"You know as well as I that love and emotion scare Nikolas more than anything.” Lucien bent and pressed his lips to my neck. “He's been a loner his entire life and now he's found out he wants to be included. That he wants to be a part of a pack. That he wants to love and be loved in return. But everything in him screams that it's a weakness rather than a right."
"In that case, I'm not sure I know how to handle him."
"Make him work for it.” Lucien nipped my neck and the scent of my blood and his arousal filled the air. “Don't just give in."
"Lucien...” I bared my neck for him even more, cock beginning to fill in response to him and his touch. “That sounds suspiciously familiar to what Peter was advised when you were being such an ass."
"Worked, didn't it?” One of his hands slid beneath my robe, fingers seeking out a nipple and giving a firm pinch. “I give you the choice: feed or fuck."
"Both.” My heart beat hard and fast as I rose from the chair and turned toward him. I dropped my robe and backed away, teasing. “If that's what you'd like."
"I would like very much.” He followed me, desire flaring in those pale blue eyes, his cock hard and standing proud. He stopped a few feet away and cocked his head, then pointed to the floor before him. “On your knees, Sabaan."
"I serve no master."
"You will serve me because you want to, not for any other reason."
Every fiber of me screamed to turn and walk away or to turn the tables and take control. I was my own master, in every sense of the word, and I didn't stoop to anyone's level to serve. But I couldn't force myself to do either. I found myself closing the distance between us, every step harder than the last.
Finally, I stood so close that one deep breath from me would make us touch. My entire body trembled, both from desire and the fear of not being able to take this moment back. If I gave in, this would be it.
No turning back.
But what did I have to lose? Everything I'd wanted had proved to be unattainable and a life in solitude had grown so very old. I needed—craved—the touch of others. I'd already agreed to be his servant in name, but maybe that just wasn't enough. I knew Lucien. Knew how he cared for those in his life, for those that he loved.
And knew I'd never truly be alone again.
"I have a request."
"Name it."
"This between us...” I swallowed hard. “It's permanent."
He nodded, without even a hint of hesitation. “I will mark you as my own."
For some reason, that loosened the knot of indecision within me, released some of the fear. To know that once this was done, it couldn't be taken back. I nodded and dropped to my knees, pressing my face against his lower belly, inhaling his scent. When I breathed out again, relief coursed through me.
Lucien's hands caressed my head, fingers pressing below my chin to tilt my head back. When I looked up at him, I couldn't help but smile. He didn't return the smile, even though I could see the delight in his eyes. Instead, he pushed my head back and pressed the tip of his cock to my lips.
"Show me how much you enjoy having me in your mouth."
* * * *
&
nbsp; "Would you get off me?"
I pushed at Lucien's sweaty shoulder. The couple of hours had been lovely: very messy, very energetic, and could have even been considered acrobatic at times. But above all, it had been satisfying. More than satisfying.
"I'm good,” he murmured, nuzzling his face against my neck. “Like where I'm at."
"Yeah, well you're heavy.” I leaned up and licked a spot of blood from his shoulder. “Tasty, but heavy."
He groaned and rolled off me and onto his back, his arms and legs sprawled across the bed. “Shit."
My brain was numb and just a little on the high side, matching the rest of my body. “Mmmhmm."
"So.” Lucien cleared his throat. “You are coming home with me, yes?"
"Do I get my own room?"
"Of course."
"My own assistant? Or, say, my own harem of boys to feed from?"
"I see nothing wrong with that."
There was one other thing.
"Do I get to be myself?” Lucien looked over at me, confused. I propped myself up on my elbow, reaching out flicking at a nipple ring with my other hand. “I mean, can I stop being so ... good?"
"Ahh.” He hissed and grabbed my hand, moving it away from his chest. “If that's what you want, then I'd be glad to have the old Sabaan back."
"Oh, goody.” I lay back and stretched, a purr bubbling up out of nowhere. Man, it had been a long time since I'd been laid this fucking good. “No taking it back, either."
"No taking it back,” Lucien repeated. He stretched and reached over and patted my thigh. “Get a few things together and we'll head on to the house. We can send a crew down to pick up anything else you might want."
Okay, so there were two other things.
"I hate to sound petty, but what am I going to do for money if you expect me to work for you and no one else?"
"You will be provided a salary. I would never ask this of you if there weren't any benefit to you.” I started to ask how much, but before I could, Lucien rolled over and kissed me. “More than you make now—by a long shot."
Oh.
Um.
I couldn't help but grin. “Good thing, considering that irrevocable bond between us."
"There is that.” Lucien got up and headed for the bathroom. “Get moving. We have somewhere to be."
I sat up on the edge of the bed and looked around. I was sure that at some point, I'd miss this place dearly. For now, all I could feel was a bit of relief that I'd be sharing a roof with other living, breathing beings. There would no longer be the deafening silence for days on end. I'd been here for nearly forty years, but it was time to move on. I wouldn't be coming back.
The longer Lucien and I were together and under one roof, the stronger the bond between us would be. There'd come a time when we wouldn't be able to function without each other. That was just how the bond between master and servant worked. Like two halves of a whole.
Not like soul mates, like he and Peter were. No, this was a more basic setup. It was like the heart needing the lungs. It didn't matter that I wasn't human. All that mattered was that I was a living, breathing being and that Lucien could feed from me—and that we could create a blood bond between us.
And we'd definitely created the bond.
No going back, now. I glanced at the file folder on the bedside table, and then reached for it. Inside, there was an offer from some guy with more money than sense. He wanted to buy the old manufacturing plant above me and the surrounding property that I owned. I hadn't wanted to sell because this had been my home. But now?
I took the file to my office and grabbed a pen off the desk, signing my name to the stack of documents. I turned to the fax machine and put the stack of papers in, punched in the number off the first page, and hit send.
The machine dialed and went through a series of beeps, then the papers started going through, one at a time. Lucien came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I leaned back into him, sighing.
"Promise me things are going to work out, Lucien."
"I promise you they will.” His arms tightened around me. “I don't want you to be sad, Sabaan."
"I'm not. I'm just ... I don't know. Scared? Nervous?” I shrugged. “Changes are hard for me, but I know I won't be alone."
"Not for a second."
"I just sold this place,” I said after a few moments of silence. “Do you think we can get the rest of my things packed and out of here by Friday?"
"That's plenty of time."
"Good.” I nodded resolutely. “I'm going to torch it after everything's gone. Don't want any trace of me to be left here.” I turned in his arms and smiled. “Do me a favor? There are some bags beneath my bed. Everything in my closet should fit."
"Go shower. I'll get you packed."
"Thank you, Lucien,” I said softly. “Not just for that, but for giving me something else in my life to hold on to. We'll make a good team—I promise."
"Of that, I had no doubt."
* * * *
"Where the hell are we going?"
We'd gone into Houston, but I wasn't exactly sure where we were. For most of the drive in, I'd been checking my bags to make sure I had everything. And now, with the bags left in the car, we were trolling the streets in a neighborhood I wasn't familiar with—in a body that was more pieced together than anything.
There was more of my natural form showing than I'd ever gone into public with. Oh sure, Lucien had promised me that all the bases were covered and I just looked like some Goth wanna-be, but I was still scared that it was too much. I mean, what if...
"You'll see.” He walked a little closer, arm coming around my shoulders. “Stop thinking so hard. You're beautiful. I promise."
"If you say so. And for the record? I'm not real sure I like surprises."
"You'll like this one.” One of his hands slid down the back of my jeans, fingers rubbing at the base of my tail. “We're almost there."
"Oh, good thing, because with your hand right there, we're about to be fucking in the streets."
"Like to put on a show, do we?"
His touch went a little lower, hand making a light fist around me. My entire body shuddered and I grabbed onto his shirt to keep from stumbling. I was about to show him just what he was doing to me when he turned down a dark, dirty alley and pulled me along with him.
"Are we trolling for a feed?"
"Don't need to troll; I've got my own dedicated donors."
"My, how ... uninteresting."
He let go of me and kept on walking until he reached a door near the end of the alley. He gave two sharp raps to the metal door and it opened as if someone had been waiting for him. A woman in a dress that looked more like a t-shirt appeared in the doorway, dark hair, dark eyes, and legs a mile long. The look in her eyes was pure invitation and I was sure it wasn't just about coming inside.
If I didn't know that Lucien didn't do women, I'd have thought we were here for ... He did know that I didn't do women either ... right?
Oh, good God.
"Lucien!” I hissed, stepping toward him cautiously. “I don't think we—"
"Hello, Lucien,” the woman purred, extending a hand. “Such a pleasant surprise to see you again."
"Katerina.” He took her hand and placed a kiss to the back of it. “You're looking lovely, as always."
"Ever the charmer,” she tsked, pulling her hand back. Her eyes settled on me. “Oh, you brought me a gift?"
"No, darling,” Lucien said with a laugh. “This is Sabaan."
"Oh!” she exclaimed, as if my name meant something to her. She stepped out of the doorway, gesturing for us to come inside. “Come in and make yourselves comfortable. I'll go kick everyone out and lock the front door."
Lucien took my hand and pulled me along inside with him. The woman—Katerina—swept past us and I caught a wave of her aura. Pure succubus. Well now, wasn't this interesting?
We went down a long, dark hallway, and when we emerged, it was into a bedr
oom. Heavy, red curtains divided a sitting area from a large bed, but the bed was still visible and looked well-used. I waited until Katerina disappeared through another door then grabbed Lucien by the arm, turning him to face me.
"I don't do women,” I hissed.
"What—” Lucien broke off, laughing as he pulled me close. “I didn't bring you here to get laid."
"Oh, thank God.” I sighed a huge breath of relief. “So, who is—"
Katerina walked back through the door she exited from and this time, there was a man at her side. My eyes went to the man and when he looked at me, I nearly swallowed my fucking tongue. A full skull tattoo covered the man's face and shaved head. I'd seen a face identical to this one many years ago.
It had belonged to Death.
As in ... the Reaper.
The Angel of Death.
The one who would take you to Hell and leave you standing in a pit of oil with the previous inhabitants clawing at you and gnawing at your flesh—because that was his job. If Death came for you, there was no getting away from him.
I made a fist into Lucien's shirt and moved closer to him. I was not beyond clinging to him for safety. The man looked at me, head tilting.
"You know me?"
I nodded slowly and Lucien looked from me to the man, then back at me. “Sabaan? Are you okay?"
I shook my head. “Do you know who he is?"
"Of course I do,” he answered. “This is Jonas. He's Katerina's companion."
"He's Death,” I whispered.
Death let out a hearty laugh, his eyes still shining with an unnatural glow. “It might please you to know that I've retired."
"Retired? Since when does the angel of Death retire?"
"What are you talking about?” Lucien snapped, and then glanced at Katerina. “Kat?"
"I'm afraid it's true, Lucien dear,” she said as she glanced from Lucien to Jonas. “Jonas did have a tricky occupation in the past. But he means no one any harm. I give you my word."
"Katerina, as much as I value you, I'm afraid it's not your word that I need.” Lucien shook his head. “Did you not think this an important thing to share with me many years back?"
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