by Lucy Gordon
She paused, and then turned to look at him.
‘I was just thinking back to all the times you argued black was white that you would hate to stay in one place for more than a few weeks. And now you’re teaching in Florida. Wow. You’ve had such an amazing sailing career and well, that is … quite a change in direction.’
He sniffed and shrugged his shoulders. ‘I was at the top of my game. Best time to walk away.’
‘It’s still a brave decision.’
He turned off the main road and started onto the unlit tarmac before speaking, the windscreen wipers moving slowly to clear the light snow, which was still falling.
‘Maybe. And how about you, Mari? What’s brought you from sunny California this weekend?’
He glanced across and scanned her body, from her scuffed boots to fleece jacket. ‘Not that I’m complaining, you understand. Looking good.’ And he winked before focusing on the road.
She couldn’t help but grin back. ‘You noticed,’ she said, and pulled her jacket tighter around her shoulders. ‘This time I flew in from Denver. But, to answer your question, I was working all over the Christmas holiday so I promised Rosa that I would pop back to celebrate Valentine’s Day. I have some business in the town, and then I’m on the last flight from London on Tuesday. And that’s it. Short visit, but that’s all I can squeeze into the diary at the moment.’
There was a snort from the driver and Mari turned in her seat to stare at Ethan as he shook his head in disbelief.
He slapped both hands hard against the steering wheel, making Mari jump.
‘How could I forget the Valentine’s Day party? What an idiot. That’s the day after tomorrow, isn’t it?’
Mari looked at him in disbelief and chuckled out loud. ‘You forgot? How could you forget Valentine’s Day? It must be serious.’
‘I’ve been working on a completely new sailing course back in Florida. The idea is to take a whole crew of troubled teenagers on a voyage lasting a couple of weeks. A sort of summer camp on water. It will take the next few months to set up and finance and the admin is horrendous. I thought racing was busy until I started this project.’
He glanced at her quickly before going on. ‘The sailing side I can handle and my parents are helping with the project management. But there is a lot at stake here, and scoping out the project is taking a lot longer than I expected.’
He stopped talking, and Mari frowned. ‘Ethan, I can hear the cogs clunking inside your brain from where I’m sitting. And there’s a strange burning smell. Out with it.’
‘I was just thinking how great it would be if some computer guru created a totally flash website for us that would totally sell the project to sponsors. And it would have to be free. Any idea where I could find a specialist like that around here? Mari?’
And he glanced across at her with the kind of smile designed to make old girls blush and young girls squeal.
Mari couldn’t help it. She put her head back and laughed out loud.
‘Thank you, but no. You should be ashamed. There are brilliant PR companies who do charity work for projects like yours. Go and find one!’
‘Oh, there has to be something I can do for you as a trade? Here’s an idea. In return for a few days pro bono work, I shall be delighted to escort you to the Valentine party tomorrow and defend you from the amorous clutches of the half dozen single men still left in Swanhaven. What do you say? Do we have a deal?’
Mari sat open-mouthed for a few seconds, her eyebrows high. ‘Are you asking me to go with you as your date? Or a paid escort service? That is disgraceful. The old Mari might have done it but not this new girl. See you at the party.’
She paused for a second and gestured at the window towards the cottages down in the village beneath them. ‘I’ve changed, Ethan. When are you going to understand that?’
‘I don’t think you’ve changed that much,’ he whispered eventually, and gave her a small smile. ‘Not where it matters.’
‘Well,’ she answered, ‘it’s good to know that the great Ethan Chandler can be wrong about some things. There is hope for humanity.’
That made him laugh, and it was so contagious she smiled back in return. And something flickered between them as his eyes briefly met hers. Something that made her want to get out of this car as soon as she possibly could.
Chemistry. Chemistry as bright and as spectacular as a meteor shower.
Instead of which, she turned her head away and pretended to focus on the buildings either side of the main road into the town.
Her eyes blinked several times as she tried to clear her head. And persuade her heart to slow down before they reached Rosa’s cottage.
Focus. That was the key. She needed to focus on why she was here.
She had forgotten how dark it could be on the country roads without streetlights. Occasional drifts of snow lifted up on the open fields on one side of the road but she knew that on the other side was the shoreline and the long pebble and sand beach which led down to the sea. It seemed to take only minutes for Ethan to drive the few miles to the brow of the hill she knew so well.
She reached up with her left hand in an old familiar gesture and clasped her seat belt, ready for the long descent into the bay and the stone harbour that led into Swanhaven, but instead the car slowed and Ethan pulled into the viewing spot on top of the hill where tourists could take photographs of the picturesque fishing harbour below them. She could almost visualise the curve of the old stone harbour wall, the new marina with the pretty sailing boats and the ocean beyond stretching out to the horizon.
He turned the car so that they could look down onto the lights of the town below and make out the curvature of the bay. Mooring lights in the tops of the yacht masts in the marina twinkled in the cold, crisp, clean air. They had left the snow clouds behind them and stars were shining bright in a deep black freezing sky. It felt as though they were on top of the world looking down from the heavens like some strange Greek gods.
Mari released her seat belt and shuffled forward so that she could rest her chin on the back of her hands on the dashboard and look out over the view.
And all the time her body was hyper-aware that Ethan was sitting only inches away from her, his strong arms outstretched on the steering wheel. Every inch of her skin prickled with being so close to him, and she could feel their connection growing tighter and tighter.
Oh, no. She was not going there again. She still felt guilty about kissing Ethan the last time. She had to change the subject and break this silence. She just had to.
‘I do have something up my sleeve which might cheer my sister up. I’m planning to move back to Swanhaven for good.’
‘Move back?’ Ethan’s voice was low and deep and resonated around the car. ‘Wait a minute. Why didn’t you mention this earlier? Rosa didn’t say a thing!’
‘That’s because my lovely sister doesn’t know anything about it. So please don’t breathe a word about it or I will never be forgiven.’
The crease lines at the corners of Ethan’s mouth lifted, white against tanned skin and afternoon stubble. ‘Okay. Your secret’s safe; I owe you for this work. But why are you keeping this to yourself? She’d be thrilled to know that you’re even thinking of coming back.’
‘Okay,’ she replied, flicking her tongue out over her lips, and something in Ethan’s gut turned over and kept spinning like plates on a stick. ‘You remember the house we used to live in, the house on the shore on the other side of town?’
‘Of course. I loved that house. We had to walk past it every day from the place we rented. I’ll never forget that amazing mural your mum painted on your bathroom wall. All blue, covered with tropical fish, wasn’t it?’
Mari chuckled out loud. ‘Rosa painted sea horses, and I just about managed a Picasso version of a starfish. It was amazing. I miss that house. A lot.’
Ethan noticed that the corners of Mari’s eyes were glistening as she spoke but she gave a brave smile.
‘Hey! You
’ll make a home for yourself like that one day. Give yourself time,’ he murmured, suddenly wanting to reassure her.
‘You’re right. I could buy a cottage in the town like Rosa’s, except for one thing. I don’t want a house like that one. That’s not good enough. I want that house. My old home. And I mean to get it.’
Ethan kept on rubbing his thumbs up and down the base of the steering wheel, but something was badly wrong as he looked into her eyes and he dropped his hands onto his knees as she went on. ‘Did you know it was up for sale? Well, guess what? I’m going to buy it. I’m going to buy my old home back.’
Both of her hands clutched Ethan’s arm now, her face bright with energy and excitement, her body jazzed to the point of jumping around in her seat.
‘Isn’t that the craziest thing you’ve ever heard of? I’ve worked every hour and every vacation I could to raise the money, but I’ve done it. I’ve saved enough to make a respectable offer for the house and land at the public auction and the bank is giving me the rest. Don’t you see? I have a chance to move back here and live with Rosa in our old house. What do you think of that?’
Ethan slid back in his seat against the car door, swallowing hard.
‘Well? Say something!’ she said and shook her head at him.
‘I guess I’m just a little confused here. I thought that you had made a new career for yourself away from Swanhaven. I mean, your old house? I haven’t seen the place, but I should imagine that it would cost you serious money to make it a home again.’
She nodded furiously in reply. ‘I know. I’ve worked the numbers. It will take time and money to restore the place and update it so I can run an online IT business from the house. I’m thinking four years at most. Maybe three if I get the Denver contract and sell my place in California and stay in my job long enough. The company are laying off technical staff but I have to hope for the best. And in the meantime Rosa could live there and work her decorating magic.’
Ethan breathed in through his nose. What was she thinking? Her company was laying off staff and she wanted to buy a house in a pretty tourist area close to the beach.
A cold feeling developed in the pit of his stomach. She was setting herself up for bitter disappointment.
‘I’m sorry to hear about the job worries. Land prices have shot up around here over the last two years. You could be outbid. What are you going to do then?’
‘That’s why I didn’t tell Rosa,’ she answered in a low voice tinged with sadness.
‘She was so traumatised when we lost that house. If I am outbid?’ She inhaled sharply. ‘It would be hard. I don’t even know if I could handle that disappointment. But Rosa would be destroyed all over again. It would be like losing it twice. I couldn’t do that to her, Ethan, I just couldn’t. But I can’t think that way. Because I’m not going to lose that house again. Three years, Ethan. Three years from now I can be living in my own lovely home again. And in the meantime Rosa has a house which nobody can take away from her. This is our security for the future. That’s why I’m determined to win that auction tomorrow morning.’
‘Tomorrow? That’s cutting it fine. I thought that you were leaving on Tuesday.’
‘I am. But it’s all going to be fine. I’ve already organised the legal side and Rosa and the family can look after the details.’ She paused and tilted her head to look at him. ‘What is it? You look worried.’
He blew out a long breath, misty in the cold damp air, and took hold of both of her hands and pressed them against his chest.
‘Moving back here could be a mistake, Mari. A big mistake.’
Mari blinked several times as the impact of what he was saying hit home. ‘Mistake?’ she said, hardly believing what she had just heard. ‘What are you talking about? I vowed the day we had to move out that somehow I would find a way to get that house back. And this is the first chance in ten years. Isn’t it worth trying?’
He squeezed her hands tighter together. ‘Of course. But I wonder if you’ve really thought this through. Things are so very different. Everything has changed.’
Mari gulped down a sense of dread at the chilly tone of Ethan’s voice.
‘What do you mean?’ she whispered.
‘Let’s say your offer was accepted,’ Ethan replied, and this time his voice was calmer and more reassuring. ‘And you bought back the house your dad built for his family. Rosa would still be living in town and working at the club and you would be working every hour in California to find the money to pay the bills—if you had a job. And all that time the house would stay empty and unheated and deteriorating while you tried to find builders and tradesmen who could repair ten years’ worth of neglect before you could even think about designing improvements. It would be a nightmare of stress, Mari. Is that what you want?’
‘I thought you would be happy for me,’ she murmured, her eyes locked on his.
He smiled sadly. ‘I do want you to be happy. But your old loving and happy home is gone, Mari. Kit is gone. Your mum is gone. Your dad is gone. And Rosa has her own life and a job she loves. Have you even asked her if she wants to move back into that house? I’m sorry, but all I can see is a lot of pain and disappointment.’
‘What?’ Mari pulled her hands away and slid back and away from Ethan.
‘Look, I didn’t mean to upset you. I mean …’ Ethan paused and dropped his head back.
‘Oh, do carry on,’ Mari said in a hoarse whisper, trying not to sound too bitter or angry and knowing that she was failing miserably. ‘Why stop now when you’re so bursting with good advice for other people? I would hate to hold you back.’
There were a few seconds where all Mari could hear was Ethan shifting on the leather seat but, when he answered, his words rang out clearly in the small space that seemed to have suddenly become even smaller around them.
‘This is coming out wrong, What I meant to say was that it sounds like you’re going backwards in your life. I don’t understand why you would want to lock yourself away in that old house with Rosa and all of the ghosts from your past and throw away the key.’
Mari’s eyes sparked ominously. ‘Well, I’m glad to say that you are totally mistaken, Ethan. About me, about Rosa and, most of all, you’re totally wrong about what we’re going to do with our lives.’ Her words were coming in fast, angry, loud bursts and she reached out and slapped her hand down hard on her seat. ‘How dare you? How dare you tell me how to live my life? Perhaps you should take a look at how well you have been doing these past ten years.’
‘I’ve been doing just fine, thank you.’ He nodded, his brow furrowed.
She lifted her chin. ‘Have you? All those fine trophies for doing the one thing you seem to excel at. Running away. Or is that sailing away? Take your pick. Because it’s all the same to me. When was the last time you came here? Oh, yes. Just before you ran out on me and left me to clean up all of the mess that you left behind in my life. No.’
Ethan had moved forward to try and comfort her—but she pushed both hands palm-forward and turned to stare out of the car window at the view.
‘After everything we’ve been through together, I actually thought that you would understand why I want this house for Rosa. Well, it looks like I was wrong. Very wrong. It looks like we’ve both changed more than you know.’
She sensed his movement and turned her head towards him.
‘Mari,’ he said in exactly the same voice she had always known, only deeper and more intense than ever, and she looked up into his face. ‘I’m sorry. I understand more than you can know.’
In that second their eyes met and any lingering thoughts she might have had that she could stay away from Ethan and walk away from this town without having her heart broken flew out of the window and into the cold night air.
And, almost as if he was feeling the same thing, his arm slipped away from the steering wheel and both his hands reached up to cup her chin so that the thumbs could swirl gentle circles on her cheeks.
Time slowed to a dead
stop so that her entire senses were focused on Ethan’s breathing and the warm scent of him filling the tiny space that separated them.
With one small shift in his seat, Ethan closed the space between them and his lips touched hers, warm and strong and tasting of all her forgotten hopes and dreams. All of her buried emotions surged back into life as if they had never been away but had kept dormant, waiting for this moment. And her heart swelled with such an overwhelming combination of anguish and love that when she pulled back she was afraid to open her eyes in case this was all some mirage, a dream.
‘It seems that some things haven’t changed at all. Have they?’ Ethan said, his mouth half pressed against her temple.
‘Yes, they have,’ she replied in a low and trembling voice, her eyes focused on his shirt as she fought to remember how to breathe again. ‘I’ve changed my mind. I won’t be helping you out at the house after all. I quit.’
The auction house was already half-full when Ethan sauntered in and found a seat at the back of the room. Curiosity about Mari had won out in the end and he quickly spotted her sitting in the front row.
She had brushed her shoulder-length auburn hair into a shiny straight column held back by a single barrette. The stiff formal look was completed by a dark grey skirt suit and, from what he could see from this position, the same dark laptop bag she had been carrying everywhere. So this was what she looked like when she was in business mode. Impressive.
The ugly duckling of a girl he had once known truly had become a swan.
Beautiful to look at, serene and calm, and pedalling like mad under the water where nobody could see how desperate she was.
Oh, Mari. You’re better than this cold, impassive creature of your own making.
Yesterday he had seen glimpses of the girl he used to know when the real Mari slipped out from beneath the weight of the past and the huge unspoken barrier that lay between them.
And it was magical.
So why did she truly want to buy back the house where she used to live with her family? He remembered it well. The house itself was fairly basic, with a stunning view over the bay from its position on the cliffs, but he had never truly paid much attention to the house. It was the family who’d lived there that was remarkable, and Marigold Chance had been the real star of the Chance home. He had never understood why he seemed to be the only person who saw that.