"Mike never hates anyone." Chad smiled, and pulled her chin up to look her in the eye.
"You're right about that. Goodbye, Chad," she managed to choke out.
"Bye, Sandy. Hope you enjoy the pup…" He motioned to the puppy that was following her every move.
"He's adorable, thank you," she managed.
"See ya."
"Yeah, see ya."
Chapter Fifteen
Another two months and they would all be rich women. Sandy thought about that. She thought about how Letty gave it all up so easily to be with Hank. How much she admired her for that. She thought about how Julie and Cade had planned to build up their Special Need children center. Then she thought about her and Wendy. Wendy had learned a valuable lesson about men and what she wanted in life. Although she still wasn't happy about it, she conceded that she hadn't been acting correctly and that she wanted Wade to love her for herself and not what she had tried to become.
And Sandy had learned that she had chosen the wrong man to love and the right man got away. How could she have been so blind as to not see Mike for what he was? How he loved his family, despite how they treated him. How he made his life on his own. How he generously gave of his time to help others.
At night she sometimes cried herself to sleep.
Not one word from Mike in over a month and even the showing he was supposed to have was cancelled. Where had he gone? What was he doing? How could she make up for all her own mistakes?
One afternoon when she went down to help Julie with the kids she pulled Julie aside. "Have you heard anything from Mike?"
Julie glanced at her in surprise. "No, not a word. I figure if the magazine went through with it, then he'll be contacting us soon. But so far, I haven't heard anything."
"He was supposed to have a showing this weekend but it was canceled. I just wondered what happened, and if anyone had heard from him," Sandy explained as she helped her kids make masks for Halloween.
"I'm sure he just got tied up with something. He's bound to contact us soon." Julie glanced at her sister.
Kellie was preparing for Halloween, and all the girls were discussing Thanksgiving. Winter was ahead of them and along with it, the holidays.
"Have you told everyone about the baby yet?" Sandy asked Julie one cool October day.
"Just Cade and Kellie. I thought I might announce it at Thanksgiving," Julie whispered.
"What did they say?"
"Cade was super happy, and Kellie well, she was good with it. She just let me know she wasn't a built in babysitter."
"She's been an only child for a long time."
Julie was setting the table for supper, they were all going to be home at the ranch for supper tonight and Julie was in the cooking mood. She had baked chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, fresh corn on the cob that someone had brought Caleb, fresh green beans and home-made bread.
"You are definitely going to have to teach me to cook." Sandy laughed as she saw how much Julie had cooked.
"I'd be glad to. Why don't we designate a day where you come over and I'll show you a few tricks and we can work together on it?" Julie suggested.
"Sounds wonderful. You know Julie, I've been thinking, Letty gave up her inheritance, without so much as a blink of the eye. But you, you got married. Now that you live at your own place…do you think you'll get your entitlement?"
Julie sat down at the table to rest for a minute. "It doesn't really matter that much. If we do, we've already decided that a large portion will go into the Special Needs Fund. If we don't, we'll get by just fine. Cade makes more than enough to support us. Especially since dad decided to split the running of the ranch with him and Wade."
"You wouldn't be upset?" Sandy's face screwed up in a frown.
"No, not really. I've always managed on my own and I can still do that. It doesn't scare me. And Cade makes a more than reasonable salary here, so we have no problems financially. And I can't see us having problems down the road. Cade knows a lot about managing money."
"It's funny, now that I look at it," Sandy said whimsically.
"What?"
"A few months ago I was quite dependent on what father would leave me, so that Chad and I could go to school. I wonder what will happen to Letty's portion if she can't collect it?"
Letty came through the kitchen, dipping her finger in the mashed potatoes. "Mm…those are perfect. And I'm starved. And where is Chad? I haven't seen him around in a long while."
Sandy looked down at her hands. "We broke it off."
"And you didn't tell me."
"At the time you had your hands full with Hank's mother being sick. I didn't want to worry you with my problems at a time like that. How is she?" Sandy asked.
"Well, that stroke was bad, but she is slowly regaining some use of her left arm and she's taking therapy for it three times a week. The doctors are hopeful she'll make a full recovery. It has been time consuming. I haven't caught up with anything around here though. We do hope she is well enough to come to the wedding."
"When is the wedding, officially?"
"November fifteenth. Before Thanksgiving and Christmas. We won't be taking a honeymoon for a while, because of his mother. Besides, its holiday time and I want to be around here a lot too." Letty smiled. "And we might have to put the wedding off even more if she gets sick in between."
"You know Letty," Julie mused as she added some butter to the mashed potatoes. "I think dad would have been very proud of you, giving up your share."
"I've got everything I want, except maybe some kids." Letty smiled.
"Oh…well…I guess I should tell you then. I'm having a baby…" Julie tasted the potatoes and turned around to see Letty and Sandy staring at her.
"Well for heaven's sake, I'm so proud for you. What does Kellie think about this? I mean, she's been an only child for so long." Letty laughed.
"She's tickled pink actually. She's always hated being an only child. She just doesn't want to get stuck babysitting all the time. She's beginning to notice boys."
"And Cade?"
"Oh…" Julie blushed. "He's so happy. He can't wait until it's here," Julie cried. "He's already building a bassinet for it, and he bought a few things for the room. His aunt, the one that been so sick, is happy too. I think it gives her the will to keep on going. She wants to see that baby and hold it in her arms."
"Oh I wish it were me…well… I mean, as soon as I get married that is." Letty laughed.
Wendy came in on the tail end of the conversation. "Wish what were you?"
"Julie's having a baby," Letty gushed with the news.
Wendy's eyes got big. "Oh…oh, that's wonderful."
Sandy watched them all, and even though she had no plans for her future yet, she was so happy to be here with all of them and celebrating the holidays too. It had been a long time since this kitchen had been so full of love.
With Halloween came colder weather. Kellie was having her first Halloween bash at her house, with apple bobbing, horror movies, and sleep overs. She even invited Sandy over, since she didn't have a date. They were all huddled in the living room watching Halloween when Letty suddenly switched the light off. The wind was howling through the cracks in the windows and the girls all screamed.
As the girls got into a talk about boys, Sandy and Letty went upstairs and talked too.
"Letty, I feel like I have wronged Mike. I miss him so. He went off thinking I blamed him for Dodger's death. I didn't find out he was gone until it was too late. I don’t know where he went. No one seems to."
Letty looked at Sandy seriously. "I do…"
"You do?"
Letty nodded. "But I'm not supposed to tell anyone."
"Oh!" Sandy slumped on the bed and put her feet up.
"Tell me, exactly why do you want to see him?"
Sandy hesitated. "I need to apologize and make sure he forgives me. I didn't know the whole story."
"Mike's a complicated man. He loves his family, but they don’t even know
when he's in a room with them. He would do anything for Chad and has for years. But Chad always takes from Mike, he never gives."
"I've just realized that."
"But Mike doesn't let it get to him. At least not very often. I think…and maybe I shouldn't say this, but I think your engagement did get to him. I've never known Mike to drink."
Sandy made a face, as though in some kind of pain. "I know this is going to sound fickle. And you may not put much stock in what I'm saying, but…I think I'm in love with Mike."
Letty stared at her a long moment, and then a slow smile lit her face. "For real?"
Sandy nodded.
"I always thought you did. And I want you to know, although I warned you against Mike, I'm glad. He's a wonderful man and he deserves the best. And so do you!"
"I didn't know how I felt about him at first. And I tried not to get too close either, because you made it clear it wouldn't be wise. I was a little afraid of him. Not that he would hurt me or anyone else for that matter, but he has such a charisma about him. And he works with the most beautiful women in the world. But after Dodger died, and he left, I missed him so much. I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights."
"Yeah, I know. That's basically why I warned you off Mike. Most women that are married to photographers such as Mike know the competition is rough and some really suffer with the jealousy trips. But I can tell you from experience, he isn't a flirt. And I think he's much deeper than that. Mainly because he doesn't go from one to another. He's had very few real girlfriends, and most of them have ended up hurting him. When you and him started seeing each other I thought, oh no…Sandy's not his type. But then I watched you with him. I saw there was a genuine like there between you. You laughed together, you obviously enjoyed each other's company. Neither one of you seemed a threat to the other. And I realized I was wrong. You and Mike are very good for each other. I hope it works out."
"So…will you tell me where he is?"
"If you will answer one question for me."
"Sure…what?"
"Are you really and truly, deep down in your heart, in love with him?"
Sandy hung her head, and when she lifted it, there were tears in her eyes. "Yes." Sandy couldn't control her emotions. Tears she had held back too long flooded her. "I am. Are you mad at me?"
Letty grabbed her and hugged her close. "Of course I'm not mad. I want the best for both of you. And I'm actually happy to hear it. Mike deserves someone like you, Sandy. I have to say that Chad was the only foolish thing you had done in your life."
Sandy almost laughed. "I guess I was just caught up in his happiness to be home."
"Did the two of you part friends?" Letty asked, pulling away and looking into her tear stained eyes.
"I think so. But I was angry with him. You see, Chad lied. He let Mike take the blame for Dodger's death. And I treated Mike so badly after that. I need to find Mike and explain, and apologize for not having more faith in him."
"You are kidding. Why did Mike take the rap for that?" Letty's brows grew together.
"Because there was a trooper on the road at the time, that saw what happened, and if Chad had been caught in the accident, he could have been in real trouble. He already had a DUI. He was drinking at the time. The bourbon spilled on Mike during the wreck, so I assumed it was Mike doing the drinking, I hadn't seen Chad."
"I'm sure glad you dumped the guy. And I don't much care if you hurt him when you did."
Sandy mulled that news in her head. "The only thing that hurt Chad was losing the money to go to school on. I could see that. But I have so wronged Mike. I just wish Mike knew. I wish he would forgive me. I wish he'd call, or come home. I miss him so. He'll probably never believe how I feel."
"I'll give you his phone number. That way he can decide for himself if he wants to come home after you talk to him. So…are you going to tell him how you feel?"
"I don't know. I guess it depends on whether he has shut me out of his life or not. I wouldn't blame him if he did."
Letty nodded and went to get his number from her purse.
"Mike and I are good friends. We'd do just about anything for each other. I feel like he's the brother I never had. No matter what happens to him, he always calls me and talks to me. I love him too…only not like you do."
Sandy bowed her head. She wasn't sure how he felt about her. But as soon as she got the nerve, she was calling him.
Butterflies rumbled in her stomach through supper though. She wanted to talk to Mike so bad, and Julie felt as though she might have cooked for nothing at first, but the men made up for her lack of interest. Between Hank, Cade, and Caleb they all put a dent in the food.
It was a few days later when she finally got the nerve to call Mike.
Her hands shook as she dialed the number. Her stomach churned.
Then she heard his voice. "Mike…this is Sandy."
"Hey, how are you?" he asked, his voice soft and soothing. There was no anger or betterment there.
"I'm fine. How are you?" she asked almost breathlessly.
"Everything here is great. How did you get my number?" Mike asked, he sounded more puzzled than mad.
"Letty…"
She didn't know what to say, so for a few seconds she just breathed a little heavy into the phone. "Did your landlady tell you about my car?"
"Your car?" He acted as though he didn't know a thing.
"Yeah, the night I came storming over to talk to you about Wendy, I had left my car door open and the battery was down. I couldn't get it started that next morning."
Mike was silent a moment. "No…she didn't say a word about it. What happened, how did you get home?"
"One of the male residents there gave me a jump. My car was in his way." Sandy tried to sound flippant, but knew she wasn't coming off that good.
"Well, I'm glad someone was there to help you."
When Sandy was silent too long he asked, "So how is Wendy these days?"
"She's better. Much better. Almost her old self again, only I think she's a little sad, and a little embarrassed about how she acted. First I had Julie talk to her, and boy, I never knew Julie had it in her, but she can be very persuasive when she wants. She's as powerful as dad."
"I'll bet. She's been out on her own quite a while and she probably has had to take the bull by the horns so to speak for a long while."
"Yes, that would explain it. Then Letty talked to Wendy and they warned her she couldn't dress like that anymore and that she should give Wade up altogether."
"Did she?" She heard a laugh in his voice.
"She's trying. It's very hard, she's invested a lot of years in him."
"Well don't be too hard on her, she's young and has a lot to learn. And maybe when the right man comes along, everything will straighten out on its own," Mike advised, but he sounded as though he were bored with the conversation. "Well…I guess I better let you go, it was nice talking to you."
"Mike…wait…" Sandy blurted.
"Something else?" he asked.
"I begged Letty for your number…so I could apologize to you…about Dodger. It's been eating at me ever since that very next day, when I realized I hadn't given you a chance to explain anything. Then when Chad admitted what had happened, I…I felt terrible about how I treated you so unjustly. Can you forgive me?"
"There's no need. It's over and done with and I am sorry for what happened. I'm also sorry I couldn't explain it to you. But Chad could have been in some serious trouble and then the folks would be upset with him, so we decided I should take the blame."
"You didn't tell me you didn't do it though…" she said softly.
"I'm glad Chad told you. It's a sign he's beginning to take responsibility for his actions. And that's a good thing."
"Yes, it is. At first I was so mad at Chad for lying about it. He even brought me another dog. The gesture was nice, but the reason for it, wasn't."
"Well, now you know…and all is well…"
"No, it isn't. I broke up wi
th Chad." She waited for his reaction with bated breath.
But his voice was so low and soft, she barely heard him. "I'm sorry for that too…It was one of the reasons I let you think it was me. I was afraid once you knew, you'd break up with him. And I really wanted you in the family. Looks like I was right."
"That's not why I broke up with him."
"No? Well, I'm sure you had a good reason," Mike said flippantly.
"Yes, I did. I realized I didn't love him. You see, Letty advised me to stay away from Chad for a while, to see how I really felt about him. I never thought that would work. But it did. And then…you…"
"I what?" he asked as though he hadn't the faintest idea what she was getting at.
"You kissed me…."
"You didn't take that serious, did you?"
Sandy felt as though her heart stopped beating. Mike had no feelings for her? How could that be when his kisses spoke otherwise? She had noticed the difference in his kisses and Chads, right away. She felt things she never felt before. But had she just been a naïve little fool like Wendy? Had she let her imagination take over?
"No…no, of course not. Oh…Mike, I have to go…something is going on downstairs. I'll talk to you later…" And she hung up before he said anything else that would hurt her. Before he heard her crying.
She put the receiver down and stared at the phone for a long moment.
He didn't love her.
Somehow, some way she had to get a grip. But she couldn't. The tears poured down her cheek and there was nothing she could do about it. She'd lost Mike before she had him. She'd been a fool twice in her life. She beat the pillow; she flopped all over the bed. And then she gave into the hurt and cried herself to sleep.
The next day, she determined to make the best of things and put on a happy face for the family. After all, it was nearly Thanksgiving. She didn't want to put a damper on the holidays. No one would know how her heart was breaking on the inside.
She couldn't blame him totally. She had told the world she was in love with Chad. How could Mike take her seriously?
But why had he kissed her? And why had he kissed her as though she were something special, something precious? Maybe that's just the way he was, sweet and charming without knowing it.
Twelfth of Never (Book 3 of the McKay series) Page 15