Audrey and I stayed in this position, each of us on our backs, holding a whispered conversation about what we had seen that day and what we hoped to see tomorrow, as well as Mount Rushmore we were going to see the Crazy Horse Monument, which promised to be amazing.
Something in our shared conspiracy caused a change in us that night. I felt it, and I was pretty sure that Audrey did too. The next day we kept sharing glances that were full of mirth, which was certainly more enjoyable than the dirty looks I kept getting from Andrew and Kerry!
At least they were more considerate of us from that time on, having finally understood how uncomfortable we were sometimes, just so that they could have a bit of privacy. As we had stayed at some pretty awful places in the last couple of months, we figured we could splurge a little, and when we got to the Rockies, we found a couple of places that were cheap enough for us to have two rooms, and each had two double beds. While I was standing looking at one, I realized how much I was obsessing over sleeping arrangements these days. Only a few years ago, I could happily have slept on a friend’s couch, or the floor, but I found that I wanted Audrey to be comfortable, and that thought made me think deeply about my feelings to her.
It was strange enough to acknowledge that I had feelings for her, but I couldn’t work out what they were. I had slept with this woman, had been privy to details about her intimate feminine issues, had seen her fresh from her shower, with the dampness of her skin meaning that her thin clothes did not conceal very much, and had seen her in her bikini when we were swimming. In other words, I was familiar with her body, yet not familiar with it, and it was driving me crazy. My sexual frustrations were not the only problem however, I was really enjoying her company, and was very glad that she had agreed to come with us on this trip, and I was wondering if she would continue to see me when we returned home, or if she would say goodbye at the airport. In other words, I had it bad.
Audrey
I had really enjoyed seeing the Rockies. Not only was it scenery that was unlike anything at home, the mountains were so high that altitude sickness was something we had to be on guard against, but James and I got to ditch Kerry and Andrew for days at a time. There were so many walks that we could take turns at having the car, and James and I had our own room to retire to at night. We each had a double bed, and only had to share the bathroom with each other, and the walls were well enough soundproofed that we didn’t hear noise coming from any of the other rooms, so we could sleep at night without me cringing in embarrassment as I often had.
Usually I laid in my bed at night trying not to hear the sounds coming from the next room, hoping that James was asleep and wasn’t hearing them as well. I often pretended to be asleep, but could not sleep because the sounds I was hearing were disturbing me greatly. It was not because I was a prude or anything like that, but apart from the issue of getting the least comfortable bed, it bothered me because I kept thinking of James.
I could hear the muffled groans and grunts, and wondered if James and I would make such noises if we were to make love. Then I would try to put such thoughts out of my mind, but could not. I would picture James in his bed across from mine, or even more disturbing, I would imagine that we were sharing a bed, and then imagine that he would turn to me and – at that point I would run out of ideas. What would James do? What would I do? If James did roll over and reach for me, would I push him away, or would I welcome him? How exactly would I welcome him? These thoughts would run through my mind ceaselessly until the noises would stop, and only then could I sleep, although not very well, it seemed my dreaming self had some ideas that my waking self did not have, as sometimes I woke up feeling the most delicious feeling between my legs, and would know that I had been dreaming of James.
All too soon we left the Rockies, and started heading to canyon country again. We planned to go to Bryce Canyon, then to Monument Valley, and then spend a few days in the Grand Canyon. While talking around the table at a diner one lunch time, we realized that we had a spare bit of time left after our visit to the Grand Canyon, so decided to spend a whole week in Las Vegas instead of just the few days we originally planned. We had heard that cheap accommodation could be found there, as the gambling subsidized just about everything, so we started looking at various places off the main strip, as they were a lot cheaper than the big casinos on the strip. I decided that I would contact Emily when we got closer to Las Vegas, and ask her to come over and spend a couple of days with me. I really needed to talk to her and to get some advice from her. Maybe she could tell me what to do to see if James liked me, or how to make a pass at him without appearing like an idiot.
We had an amazing time in Monument Valley, the hotel there was very expensive, but it was a once in a lifetime opportunity so we had paid the cost long before we left Australia as it needed to be booked in advance. The only thing we didn’t do was to go on the organized tour, instead we drove ourselves around the valley floor, getting out at each landmark to marvel at the size of the rock formations and take lots of photos of each other with the landmarks as backdrops.
The Grand Canyon was beyond words, it was absolutely enormous and it was worth getting up early each morning to watch the sunrise change the colour of the rocks. Most mornings it was only James and I of course, and we tended to sit huddled together on the rocks, as it was cold in the early mornings. I really enjoyed our time together, and really enjoyed those mornings.
When I made my call to Emily, she seemed overjoyed to hear from me. She confessed to having not much to do, so after briefly talking to Richard, Emily said she would meet me in Las Vegas and stay for the entire week of my stay, so we could spend some time together. Richard would try to get there for a couple of days, but his work would prevent him spending much time there. I reminded myself that I had to ask Emily what Richard did for a living – I knew nothing about this man that my sister obviously thought so much of.
Las Vegas had only been a few hours’ drive from the Grand Canyon, but we had left late so arrived late. I called Emily when we checked in, and we arranged to meet under the big Harley Davidson motorbike. When we all arrived, I saw my sister standing there, and all of a sudden it hit me how much I had missed her, and everyone at home, so I raced up to give her a big hug.
We had dinner together, and then I went back with her to her hotel room, leaving the others to look around town. Emily tried to talk to me about James, but I couldn’t listen to her straightaway, I was astounded at the size of Emily’s room, walking around and exploring it. All of this room just for her? I was sorely tempted to move in and take possession of her couch, but even though I could easily have not seen Andrew and Kerry again, I would miss James. I insisted instead that she tell me everything, about what she was doing in the States, and who this mystery Richard was that she had been seeing.
So, Emily told me everything, or at least she told me everything that she thought was fit for her little sister’s ears anyway! It turned out that her Richard was actually an increasingly popular actor named Rick Mulvaney, and she was living with him in Los Angeles while he filmed his next movie. She told me a bit about how they met, and how they had become aware that there was an attraction between them, and even told me about a place they had stayed at in Bermuda that had a master bedroom like a porno set on a movie, giving me the impression that they had enjoyed their time in that house! I laughed and threatened to tell Mum, at which point Emily threatened me with all sorts of dire consequences if I dared.
During the conversation, it suddenly struck me that I had never seen my sister this happy. Whenever she spoke about Richard, her eyes glowed, and she smiled, and I don’t think she was aware she was doing it. So it was clearly not just about the sex, which Emily had hinted broadly at as being the best she had ever experienced, so I asked her simply;
“But do you love him?”
Without hesitation, she said “yes”, and I got up and turned the kettle on.
“So marry him”, I said.
“What?”
I sat down with my cup of tea, put Emily’s on the coffee table in front of her, and watched the play of emotions across her face.
Emily seemed to come to a decision, then she asked me what was going on between myself and James. I should have asked her for advice, but put on the spot, I just asked her what she meant.
“You just accused me of being stupid, don’t you have any eyes in your head? I saw the way he was looking at you tonight. I know that look. I’ve seen it in Richard’s eyes. James wants you. How can you have spent all this time with him, and not seen that?”
I thought about it and then said that I hadn’t noticed that. I admitted to having a massive crush on James, but said that I didn’t realize he liked me too. I then told Emily about the awful time I had been having with the sleeping arrangements, and how I found the sounds of the other couple’s lovemaking embarrassing, knowing that James was usually lying in the next bed, and could probably hear it too, and wondering what he was thinking. But now that Emily had said she believed that James was attracted to me too, I found myself reliving some incidents on our trip when I had thought that he might be, but wasn’t sure.
Shortly afterwards, my phone rang. It was James. Andrew and Kerry had decided to go back to the hotel, and he didn’t want to return for a while as he thought he might end up walking in on a ‘private moment’. I told him where we were, and Emily called down to the hotel desk to give them permission to let James come up. A few minutes later, James was at the door, and Emily made some small talk with him, while I watched him surreptitiously. I exchanged a glance with Emily, who then yawned loudly.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize how tired I was. Look, I’m a really heavy sleeper, and as you can’t go back to your room right now, I don’t mind if you hang out here for a while, unless you want to go for a walk on the strip. Your choice, I’m going to bed, goodnight”.
Emily suddenly got up from her chair, giving me a sly wink that James could not see, and went to bed, closing the door.
James turned to me, looking a bit surprised. I took pity on him.
"I was telling Emily about how difficult it's been, sharing space with a couple for the last two and a bit months, and then you showed up saying that they wanted a bit of privacy. So that means we can't go back to our room for a while, unless we want to walk in on something, and I would rather not. So, Emily is ok with us hanging out here for a while, and if we don't talk too loudly and keep her awake, I would much rather do that. Or we could go for a walk around town if you want."
"No, I'd rather not if you don't mind", James started to say, "I did a bit of that before I called you. I'm happy to just sit here and chill for a while if you are.”
So that is what we did. We turned out the overhead lights and opened the curtains so we could look out over the bright lights of all the hotels and casinos, and talked quietly for a couple of hours. I briefly considered making up the sofa bed in Emily's room, but I wasn't comfortable with Emily walking out of her room in the morning and seeing James and I together. While I had told Emily about our unusual sleeping arrangements, I thought James might be awkward about dealing with my sister in the morning if she saw us together.
When I had told Emily that James and I had slept together a few times without him making a move on me, Emily had looked at me and said:
"If I hadn't seen the way he looked at you before, I might have thought he might be gay, I've never yet met a man who would have not even tried to make a pass in such a situation - maybe you could sleep together platonically once or twice in an emergency, but several times? But I did see the way he looked at you, and I find it hard to believe the man didn't at least think about it. In fact, I bet he thought about it a lot. So the only thing I can think of, is that maybe he's guessed you're a virgin, and that has scared him off. Some guys can be intimidated by that you know. They think if they’re your first, you’ll expect them to marry you afterwards. So, my advice to you is that you talk to him. Be clear about what you want, as he obviously isn't going to make a move without prompting".
Was what Emily had said right? She was adamant that James was attracted to me, and yet he had slept beside me so many times, and hadn't tried anything. The only problem was, how could I just come out and tell James what I wanted? Even if I did, I wasn't going to spend my first time with a man trying to be quiet because there were other people in the room! How gross! So I resolved to spend the remaining time on this trip with James letting him know subtly that I was attracted to him, and seeing where things went from there. If James really was as attracted to me as Emily thought, maybe we could start dating when we got home.
So it ended up being quite late when we left the hotel room, closing the door as quietly as we could, and walking through the streets of Las Vegas to the room we were sharing with Kerry and Adam. As the streets were full of merry makers, James again pulled me close to him so that we didn't get separated by the crowds, and again my arm snaked around his waist, with me silently thanking the drunken revelers for this opportunity to snuggle close to James.
We slept late, and were woken by the sound of giggling coming from the bathroom. Again? I turned towards the other bed and looked at James, who was himself looking at me.
"I've got an idea," he said, "once we get a chance to dress, we need to have a talk with them".
So once the bathroom was free and everyone had a chance to shower and dress (even though I was a bit dubious about getting in that shower straight after the others), James called a meeting and we all sat down.
"Look", James began. "I know you two care about each other, and want to be together as much as you can, but you have to admit this is difficult for us all. So I was thinking that unless you really want to sightsee every day, maybe you might be happier if Audrey and I took the car and went out during the day, leaving you the run of the room to yourselves. So of a night, you can have the car if you want to go somewhere away from the Strip, but hopefully you will have got whatever it is out of your systems during the day and we can all get a good night's sleep. Does that sound fair to you?"
Andrew and Kerry looked a little embarrassed, but also a little relieved. They said they had really seen enough of the desert for a while, and would appreciate the privacy. So James grabbed the keys, and I packed a bag with my sunscreen, a hat and some other essentials. It was now almost lunchtime, so as James started up the car, I called Emily to apologize for standing her up like this, and to thank her for letting us stay in her lounge room last night. Although I felt bad about the late notice, I figured that Emily would understand, and she did. We agreed to meet for dinner, and James and I set off. Due to the late start, we decided to go to Hoover Dam, as it wasn't far away, so we had the afternoon to tour the dam and walk around exploring.
We had a wonderful afternoon. I was trying to send out subtle but unmistakable signals, and I think James was picking up on them. Although he was normally very courteous and considerate, he seemed to be making an extra special effort to always be nearby if I needed a hand to steady me when climbing up or down something, and when we were in a tunnel on the tour and it was a bit cool, he enfolded me in a hug while we were listening to the tour guide, as I had been shivering slightly, clad only in my light summer clothing. I leaned back into his embrace, and put my hands up to cover his arms over me, making it clear that I welcomed his touch. I thought I heard him sigh, and smiled to myself. So
maybe Emily was right.
After the tour we walked around at the top of the dam, joking about how tired we would be tonight, walking from one state to another - the dam straddled the border between Nevada and Arizona. We then went into nearby Boulder and found a charming little diner where we had a late afternoon snack as we had missed lunch. As we sat there, I tried flirting, knowing that I wasn't very good at it, but I figured if I smiled and laughed a lot, and occasionally allowed my legs to brush James' under the table, it might get some attention from James. It did, he started to give me strange looks, but I noticed that he didn't move his legs.
That night, the four of us met Emily at a restaurant. Kerry and Andrew didn't have a lot to say as they had barely left the hotel. Emily was able to tell us all about her explorations during the day, and described the various hotels to us. James and I talked at length about Hoover Dam, and the history of its construction.
We had even had photos taken at the dam where our images were superimposed on the dam itself, and we passed these around the table. It was a much happier meal that the previous night, not only was the restaurant quiet enough that everyone could speak, but everyone was much more cheerful. The arrangement between Kerry, Andrew, James and myself was obviously working.
We explained that we were going to spend a few days near LA, and Emily threw a look at me that I knew well. When we were growing up, Emily and I had often passed looks between us, when we planned to say something out of the hearing of our parents, so I knew that she wanted to talk to me. I was hoping that she was going to ask James and myself to stay at the house she shared with Richard for some of that time, I was enjoying our time apart from our travel companions, and didn't want to spend our last few days sharing accommodation with them as we had up until now.
Audrey's Road Trip Page 5