by Jill Shalvis
“That’s a guy’s reason,” she whispered furiously.
From behind the door came more sobs, and Kyle could only sigh. “Lissa, I thought you wanted this.”
The sobs increased in intensity.
Annie stared at him accusatorily, as if it was his fault his brother’s fiancée had gotten cold feet.
He lifted his hands in surrender.
Annie pointed under the stall.
Oh, no. No. He wasn’t going in.
She crossed her arms and gave him the you-are-pond-scum look that every woman seemed to have in her bag of killer expressions.
Ah, hell, he was going in. “Open up, Lissa.”
“No.”
Of course not. With another sigh, he went to his knees and prepared to climb under. “If I ruin another tux, I’m not taking the fall for it.” He got stuck when his broad shoulders jammed under the door, and he bashed his shin, twice. Jerking back, he slammed his head into the stall divider. Stars clouded his vision. When he blinked them clear, he was blinded by white satin. Miles of it.
“Scoot,” came a direct order from behind him. The next thing Kyle knew, there was also miles of pink satin as Annie slid under the stall with much more grace than he had, forcing him to put his arms on the walls to brace himself in the sea of satin.
Now all three of them were squished into place—Lissa sitting on the closed commode lid, he and Annie practically joined at the hip in the remaining few inches. Cozy.
“Well.” He looked at both women, one of whom was sobbing into her hands, the other was glaring at him. Oh, yeah. Cozy as hell. “Let’s go have a wedding, huh? We can straighten out all these details later.”
Annie shook her head.
Lissa just cried harder.
“But…” He searched for a reason to end this. “Lissa, if you keep crying, you’ll ruin all the makeup you spent too much on.”
Annie rolled her eyes heavenward.
Lissa bawled.
“Lissa, please.” He resorted to begging without hesitation. “I’m bad at this. Just talk to me.”
“Talk to you?” She lifted her wet face and flung back her hair. “Can you tell me why I thought that love was so cool that I agreed to wear this stupid dress and march down an aisle in front of hundreds of people I’m not sure I even like to say, ‘I do’?” She swiped her nose with toilet paper. “And do you realize I can never wear granny underwear again?”
“Uh…” Kyle glanced at Annie, but there was no help coming from that department. “Look, I doubt Kevin cares what kind of underwear you put on.”
“Men don’t like granny underwear,” Lissa wailed anew. “But that’s what I always wear on laundry day.” Standing, she gripped Kyle by the lapels. “So many things are going to change. What is love about, Kyle? Do you know? What’s love? Tell me!”
Annie raised a brow and looked at him with less animosity than curiosity.
Oh boy. “Love is about…” Blow this, and toss out any plans you had for great sex tonight. “Well, it’s not that difficult, really.”
“It’s not?” Annie frowned doubtfully. “Then tell us—er, Lissa. Tell Lissa.”
He drew a deep breath, but no answers magically appeared. Then he looked into Annie’s gold eyes and suddenly it became clear. “Love is about wanting that person safe,” he said.
“Safe, smafe.” Annie looked disgusted. “A person can keep themselves safe.”
“Then…it’s about making that person happy,” he said, feeling brilliant. “Yeah, that’s it.”
“A person can make themselves happy,” Annie said, with far less animosity now.
Two strikes. One more and he was out. “Then it’s about how you feel in the other person’s presence.” He closed his eyes and dug deeper. “It’s about how you become a better person because they’ve been in your life. How you want to be that better person for them.”
Lissa sniffled and sank back to the commode. “Really?”
Well, yeah. Really. At least Annie didn’t shake her head this time. Instead, her eyes filled with something other than anger, and he was pretty certain it was wariness now.
She thought he was messing with her again.
If only he was. She had no clue that she was the one woman who’d brought him to his knees. “Love is about always being there for that person,” he added softly, staring right at her. “Even when you think they’re being stubborn and ridiculous.”
Another sniffle from Lissa, but Annie never took her eyes off Kyle. “Maybe you should keep talking,” she said.
“Love transcends all barriers.”
“Such as a distance of thousands of miles?” she asked.
It was as if it was just the two of them. If he didn’t count the yards of silk and the bride sitting on the commode between them, glued to their every word. “Those miles mean nothing,” he said, and meant it. “Nothing to a person not attached to any one place.”
“But some people are attached to their one place.”
“And some aren’t.” He wasn’t. With his eyes he tried to tell her that, tried to decide if it even mattered to her. “With love, being together is all that is important. Everything else falls into place.”
Lissa burst into tears again.
His heart sank. “Lissa—”
“Shut up.” She stood so that the three of them had so little room they were breathing each other’s air. “Just shut up. You had me with the stubborn, ridiculous part. Oh, Kyle…” She threw her arms around him. “That was so beautiful. Now get out of my way or I’m going to be late. I can’t be late for my own wedding.” She opened the door, but before she went out she grabbed both Annie and Kyle close to her in a bear hug that spread perfume and lipstick all over his neck. “I’m going to make this work because I love that big, old lug,” she vowed. “But if he ever pisses me off, I’m going to kill him.” She pulled back and smiled. “Just want you to know up front.”
Then she was gone.
Silence reigned.
“That was quite a speech,” Annie said.
“Yeah.”
“Did you mean it?”
Before he could answer, Lissa was back, sticking her head in the stall. “Hey! If I have to go, so do you, remember?” She grabbed each of them and tugged them out of the stall, out of the bathroom and down the hall to the back of the church, where the music had already started.
“This is it,” Lissa hissed, still holding on to them with a death grip. “Oh, God. Kyle, I hope you know what you’re talking about because I’m about to get hitched. Now take Annie and escort her down the aisle. Be sure to turn around and smile at me when you get there to remind me this is a good thing, okay?”
Then she was shoving him, and Annie was on his arm, looking breathtaking in spite of the pink dress that didn’t suit her, and they were walking down the aisle.
* * *
ANNIE WATCHED the wedding take place as if from a great distance. Through this nice, comfy, blessed distance she didn’t feel much more than a stab of pain watching Kevin watch Lissa come down the aisle. There was so much love on his face it made the entire audience tear up.
From that same distance she watched Lissa repeat Kevin’s promise of love and felt another stab. She watched them smile dreamily at each other and seal their vows with a kiss and felt yet another.
When it was over, her chest ached with the pressure. She was barely holding it together, and she didn’t know why. Then she saw the one person in the audience that made her throat tighten all the more.
Amelia Grundy. She’d come. The sixtyish, rather tall and formidable woman was built as round and solid as a brick, but when their gazes met, Amelia’s entire demeanor softened, and Annie felt weak with homesickness.
“Hello, lovely,” Amelia mouthed, her sharp blue eyes warming. As always, her silver hair was on top of her head, and as always, she wore tweed.
At just the sight of her, Annie nearly burst into tears. On Amelia’s lap sat the satchel she’d carried as long as Annie
could remember. It was filled with all sorts of useful items like cookies and pliers and the requisite romance novel.
Wildly, Annie wondered if she had fairy dust in there, anything in which to sprinkle over Annie and make this all come out okay.
Chin up, don’t let him see you cry.
Annie straightened, startled, staring at Amelia. She could have sworn Amelia had spoken that out loud, which of course she hadn’t.
But how did Amelia know? Well, of course she knew, Amelia knew all. And the woman had always known Annie’s mind better than even Annie knew it.
Suddenly she was driven by some need to turn her head. She found Kyle watching not the wedding, not the audience, but her.
He was tall, dark and heart-stoppingly gorgeous. He was rough and tough, intense, sharp and had a job.
Her favorite qualities.
But—there always seemed to be a but when it came to her happiness—they were worlds apart.
Literally.
Not to mention he had no idea she’d done the unthinkable, that she’d started to fall for him. It was asinine, really. They hadn’t known each other long enough for her to even contemplate such a thing.
Which hadn’t stopped her from tumbling into bed with him last night, had it? She’d done so with shameless abandon, and because it had been the best night of her life, she couldn’t bring herself to regret it.
But it sure as hell was going to make it all that much more difficult to walk away. And she would walk away. Grunberg was her heart, her home, her life.
And she was going back tomorrow morning.
* * *
THE RECEPTION was loud, boisterous and joyful. But Annie had trouble putting a smile on her face. Around her people were cheering as the newly married couple walked around arm in arm greeting their guests.
Annie sighed and wished she was home. Or that Nat had made it. Wished she could find that distance again so she didn’t feel the ache in her chest that she couldn’t—or wouldn’t—explain to herself.
It’s not like you to accept defeat, lovely.
Annie whirled around, but Amelia wasn’t behind her.
She was hearing things again. Telling herself the melancholy was normal—after all, she’d been through a lot in just a few days—she moved outside, desperate for air.
She’d be happy to go home, but…
No. No buts. She was a grown woman who’d chosen to scratch an itch, that’s all. And the itch had definitely been scratched.
Only she still itched…
She heard someone walking toward her. Now she was going to have to smile. Make nice. The reception was in a fancy place made for such events, and Annie had moved as far away as she could, standing just outside a set of glass French doors. She leaned over the balcony and studied the glorious New Mexico landscape and willed whoever it was to keep walking.
But it wasn’t just anyone. It was Kyle.
She didn’t feel like smiling and making nice for him. She felt like slugging him because…she didn’t even know. He’d been a temporary diversion. A very nice temporary diversion, and she’d never forget that he’d not only saved her life but taught her that sex wasn’t overrated.
Not overrated at all.
In fact, just thinking about it, how his hard, hot body had fit to hers, how he’d—
“Whatever you’re thinking,” he murmured when he came close enough, “you’re turning me on with just the look on your face.”
“I’m thinking about the buffet table,” she lied. “All that food.”
“And that’s arousing you?”
“How do you know I’m aroused?”
He looked down.
So did she, and then groaned. Having sensed the man who’d sent them into ecstasy the night before was close by, her nipples had thrust themselves against the restraints of the pink satin.
She crossed her arms. “I’m cold.”
He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Liar.”
Just his touch made her want to lean into him and bite his chin. “I’m not a liar.”
He gave her a half-closed, incredibly sexy look. “Uh-huh.”
“I’m not,” she said, much weaker now. Damn him. He did that to her, and he knew it. He liked it!
His body brushed hers, and if she’d thought she couldn’t breathe inside during the wedding, she was in big trouble now.
“You’re turned on,” he insisted, running a finger down her jaw and her throat, then down farther to play with the locket resting between her breasts, which tingled from the backs of his fingers.
Traitors. She tightened her arms over her chest.
He didn’t look bothered. “And you’re pissed. Incredibly sexy combination, Princess.”
“You’re sick.”
“Yes,” he agreed, then looked right into her eyes again. “I’m sick that this is it.”
Panic welled, but she beat it back. He couldn’t know. He wasn’t a mind reader and she sure hadn’t given him any indication of her feelings. Mostly because she herself didn’t understand them. “Wh—what are you talking about?”
“You’ll miss me,” he said, holding her gaze with his. “Why don’t you just tell me you’ll miss me?”
The big, bossy jerk. “Why should I?”
“Because I’m going to miss you. Every ornery, stubborn inch.”
CHAPTER 13
“LET’S TRY THIS,” Kyle suggested, and went to pull something out of his tux pocket.
“Wait!” Annie covered his hand with hers, looking frantically over her shoulder, but they were still alone. Or as alone as they could be at a huge wedding reception surrounded by hundreds. “Oh my God. What are you doing?”
“I’m trying to tell you. I’m—”
“You can’t pull a gun here! It’s a wedding reception.”
He let out a sound of disbelief. “What makes you think I have a gun in my pocket?”
She was nose to nose with him. She had her hand on his at his hip. Her chest was mashed into his chest, and suddenly Annie realized that this might be the last time they touched. “You’re a cop.”
“Was.”
“You…what?”
He looked off into the distance, at the mountain peaks, at the sky, an inexplicable yearning on his face. “I wanted a leave of absence but I couldn’t get one.”
“You wanted a leave? But…why?”
“I told you that day we were held up by Jimmy. I need a break. A change of scenery.”
“You’re burned out?” she asked, softening, feeling her heart break a little for the man who’d given so much and needed something back in return.
He shrugged. “I suppose burned out is a good an explanation as any other.”
“So you…”
“Quit.”
Her heart started a heavy pounding. She didn’t know why. “Which doesn’t explain the gun in your pocket.”
He turned his head from the view and pierced her with those amazing eyes. “I told you it wasn’t a gun. But somehow, I think you’d be less terrified of a gun than what I do have.”
“Then maybe you should keep it to yourself.” Her pulse was definitely off the scale. And she didn’t want to see what was burning a hole in his pocket. Not one little bit.
“You are going to be kind, aren’t you?” he whispered.
“Kyle.” She backed up a step. “You’re scaring me.”
“Yeah. Good. I’m scaring myself.” He drew a deep breath. “Here goes. Annie…do you think you could rescue me one more time?”
“I haven’t rescued you, you’ve rescued me. Several times now.”
“No,” he said quietly, stepping back to her side, solemn and breathtaking. “You’ve got it backward. From the moment you came into my life, wearing that horrendous dress—”
She put one hand over her chest and the pink satin she’d nearly forgotten she was wearing. “You told me it wasn’t that bad.”
“I lied. It’s bad.”
“Well, thanks a lot.”
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“I have something much more important to talk to you about than the dress, Annie.”
“Oh.” Her hand was still on his, and she prevented him from pulling it free of the pocket because…well, she wasn’t sure exactly. All she knew was that she could scarcely draw in a breath and she was fairly certain it was all his fault, but then he shifted and tried to free his hand. “Kyle…what are you doing?”
“He’s trying to propose, dearness.” Amelia appeared at their side. “Only you won’t be quiet long enough for the poor man to get his words out. Isn’t that right, Mr. Kyle Moore?”
“Uh…” He stared down at the slightly plump, undoubtedly regal Amelia Grundy. “Do I know you?”
“No, but you will. You’re the man who’s going to make my Annie happy forever after or I’ll beat you senseless with my umbrella.” She hoisted it out of her satchel and waved it for effect.
Kyle lifted his eyebrows, then looked to Annie, who felt sorry for him even if he was a big stupid lug. “This is Amelia Grundy,” she said. “My exnanny and current…”
“Keeper,” Amelia provided helpfully.
“Hey! You mean pain in my—”
“Annie!”
Annie smiled and hugged Amelia tight. “I love you, Amelia. And I’m happier than I can say to see you, but I need a moment of privacy here.”
“With this man?” Amelia eyeballed Kyle, who, though fearless in the face of the most ruthless of criminals, looked a little wary. A little unnerved.
A little…hers.
“Yes, with this man.” Annie smiled at him even as she spoke to Amelia. “Amelia, it’s quite possible I’m about to make a fool of myself.”
“No, actually, the big guy here is going to do that.” Amelia smiled up at a very confused Kyle with fondness and patted his back. “Make her answer your question, good man.”
“Yes. The question.” Kyle opened his mouth, then with an oath shut it again. “I’ve lost my place.”
“You wanted to know if she’d rescue you one more time.” Amelia smiled. “She hasn’t yet answered you.”
“That’s because the question didn’t make any sense,” Annie pointed out. Oh, yes, definitely her heart was going to burst right out of her chest, because suddenly she knew. She couldn’t just walk away. Couldn’t just go back to her life without doing the one thing she’d never really done before.