by Gun Brooke
“A little one. It was a long day. A swim will take care of that.” Carolyn forced herself to smile.
Annelie didn’t look convinced, but she relented. “All right. I’ll make you some café latte.”
Carolyn smiled again, this time more genuinely. “Oh, you’re such a treasure. Royal Copenhagen?”
“Of course.” Annelie kissed her on the nose. “Go on.”
Carolyn shot Jem a glance and was relieved to see her grin. “You two are too cute for words,” she said.
Rolling her eyes in mock exasperation, and immediately regretting it since it sent a jolt of pain through her temples, Carolyn went to get ready. Examining her face in the bathroom mirror, she realized Annelie was right. She was pale, with dark shadows under her eyes.
As Carolyn pushed through the cool water, her arms seemed heavier than normal. Changing from the breaststroke to a crawl, she tried to ignore the pain in her shoulders. The current seemed stronger than usual, making her wonder if she’d accidentally changed the settings. After another ten minutes of the searing ache, she decided to stop and was stunned at how difficult it was to climb out of the pool.
Stumbling into the shower, she let hot water flow down her body, relieved at how it relaxed her. Carolyn closed her eyes, willing her breathing to calm down. I can’t let Jem and Annelie see me this way. I’ve got to keep these silly headaches under control.
After her shower, Carolyn avoided the noisy hairdryer and instead swallowed two Relpax, knowing they’d knock her out.
Jem and Annelie were in the living room talking, low music playing in the background.
“Ladies, I’m heading for bed.”
Annelie’s head snapped up. “Already? It’s only eight thirty.” She walked over to Carolyn and pressed the back of her hand against Carolyn’s forehead. “Don’t you want your coffee?”
“No. I’m sorry, love. Not tonight. I must be anxious about the first day of filming. I’m exhausted.”
“Let me tuck you in. Be right back, Jem.”
“Don’t worry about me,” Jem smiled, waving a DVD cover in their direction. “I found a movie I haven’t seen. Mind if I pop this in?”
“Of course not.”
After Annelie folded the covers back, Carolyn climbed in, dressed in one of Annelie’s long T-shirts. “Thanks, love.”
“Shh, just relax. Want me to rub your temples?”
“Could you kiss them instead? It helps when you press your lips right where it hurts.”
Annelie leaned over Carolyn and kissed her forehead. Slowly the pain dissipated, fading to a faint throb. “Oh, yes.”
Not saying anything, Annelie kept kissing her forehead. The motion was hypnotizing, and Carolyn felt herself drift off into the half-conscious state just before sleep. “…so much…” she murmured.
“Better?”
“…love you…”
“I know. Go to sleep. I love you too,” Annelie whispered against her skin. “You’ll be fine. That’s it. Sleep.”
Carolyn wanted to say how much she appreciated Annelie’s care, but the words forming in her head never reached her lips.
*
Regina Carmichael waved the script in the air, a sure sign she had something important to say.
“Listen up, ladies. You’ve got to make the audience realize how much the denial and evasions of their mutual attraction torment Erica. This scene will ratchet up the tension for the all-important one where Erica kisses Maddox. Carolyn, play Maddox as bewildered, yet furious. Helen, Erica is defensive and equally angry. You did a great job at the tabletop exercise. Now show me you can take it over the top. Everything clear?”
Carolyn nodded briskly. “Yes.”
They moved into position, Carolyn standing below a concrete staircase that led up to Erica’s apartment and Helen upstairs, behind a green door. The crew rustled around them.
“All right, people. Look sharp. Camera!”
“Camera running.”
“Silence! Scene twenty-two. Take one. Action!”
Carolyn hurried up the stairs and knocked on the door.
“Cut! Sorry, Carolyn, the mike was in the picture. Again, please.”
Walking back down, inhaling deeply, she braced herself for the next attempt.
After a few adjustments, Regina gave her command again. “Take two. Action.”
Carolyn repeated her maneuver and reached the top of the stairs. “Good. Let’s move on to the next scene while you’re still up there, Carolyn. You ready, Helen?” Regina said after the third take.
“Yup.”
Swallowing against her nausea, Carolyn prepared for Helen to initiate the quarrel scene.
At the director’s command, Helen yanked the door open and glared at her. “Diana, what a surprise,” she said resentfully. “Working around the clock as usual. What’s up?”
Carolyn leaned against the door frame, staring at Helen with narrowing eyes. “You left in the middle of our conversation.”
“Conversation?” Helen huffed. “You were lecturing. I swear, if you ever talk to me in that condescending tone of voice again, I’ll—” Her voice broke off, completely falling out of character. “Carolyn?”
Sweat was pouring down Carolyn’s back under her shirt and black leather jacket. Everything blurred, and the stairs to her left swayed. She tried to move away from them, but her legs wouldn’t cooperate. Nausea made her swallow hard, and she began to fall.
“Oh, God. Carolyn!”
As her pain became unbearable, taking away her vision, she felt hands clutch at her jacket. She fell, expecting to slam into the concrete steps, yet unable to stop herself. In the distance she heard loud voices shout her name.
*
Helen watched Carolyn go beyond pale. In fact, she quickly turned gray. When she began to fall toward the long stairs, Helen acted on impulse. Reaching out, she managed to grab the lapels of Carolyn’s leather jacket and pull the other woman toward her.
Carolyn’s body slammed into hers as they both fell into the hallway of Erica Becker’s apartment. Landing painfully on the floor, Carolyn on top of her, Helen lost her breath for a minute.
When Carolyn didn’t try to move, Helen managed to make her voice work. “Carolyn? You okay?” Then she freed a hand and touched Carolyn’s cheek, which was cold and damp. “Carolyn!”
Chapter Seventeen
“Keep the change.” Annelie pressed some bills into the cabdriver’s hand and jumped out of the car. She wanted to scream with impatience when a family of at least six cut her off at the hospital entrance.
Inside, she frantically looked for the emergency room, her heart pounding. Half running toward the ER entrance, she clung to what Regina had said. Carolyn was awake when the ambulance drove away from the studio. She had to be all right.
The nurses’ station in the ER was as crowded as the front door. Trying to draw even breaths, Annelie waited in line. She fought an overwhelming urge to push the people ahead of her out of the way, knowing they had equally pressing concerns.
“Annelie? Over here!” A familiar male voice made her whirl around, and Gregory walked toward her. “They’re over here.”
She forced herself not to run. “How is she? And what do you mean by they? What’s happened?”
“Helen’s here too. She needed a couple of stitches in the back of her head after the fall.”
“What fall?” Annelie felt confused and unable to focus. “What’re you talking about? I thought Carolyn fainted. What happened to Helen?”
Gregory gently took her by the elbow and led her farther down the corridor. “Carolyn did faint. From what they told me, she already looked pale this morning. After running up and down some stairs several times during rehearsal and later, during the takes, she passed out.”
“Oh, God,” Annelie murmured, stopping outside the curtains. “And who fell?”
The door behind them opened, and Helen stepped outside, dressed in pants and a hospital robe. “We both did. Carolyn landed on me when she collapsed.” Sh
e walked up to Annelie and hugged her. “She’s okay, Annelie. She just came down from X-ray and the doctor’s with her now.” She gestured toward a door across the corridor.
“Helen saved her,” Gregory added, drawing a stern look from the actress. “Well, you did. Regina said if you hadn’t pulled Carolyn toward you, she could’ve fallen down the stairs.”
Annelie felt her knees buckle and, for a second, only Helen’s strong arms held her up. “What?”
“Gregory! You’ve got the tact of a bulldozer.” Helen turned back to Annelie. “She scared us all for a minute. At first I couldn’t tell if she was breathing or not.”
“And then?”
“People came running from all directions. The staff nurse made everyone leave Carolyn alone and not move her while she examined her. When they finally moved her, Carolyn woke up, dizzy and with a headache, but able to stand on her feet.”
“Can I see her?” Annelie???s eyes brimmed with tears.
“The doctor should be out soon.” Helen kept her arm around Annelie, who welcomed the comforting touch.
When a doctor finally appeared, Annelie approached him, eager to see her lover. “Doctor, I’m Annelie Peterson. Is my—is Carolyn all right?”
The doctor peered at her over his reading glasses. “Are you next of kin?”
“No, but…yes, in a way.”
“I can only answer questions from immediate family members. Sorry.” He started to walk away.
“We…she’s my…We’re like family, doctor.” Annelie felt a jab of pain in her stomach while she tried to explain.
“Sorry. Unless you’re her sister, I can’t share any details.” As he began to walk away again, Helen grasped his arm.
“Can we see her?”
“She really needs to rest. Until her family gets here, there’s nothing I can—”
“Doctor, these are my friends, and Annelie’s right. She is my family,” a husky voice interrupted. “I realize you’re only protecting my privacy, but, in this case, it’s unnecessary.”
Annelie pivoted and saw Carolyn standing in the doorway, looking pale and smaller than usual, but with a familiar firm expression in her eyes. The doctor frowned.
“Ms. Black, you really should rest and not—”
“I’ll rest, and my friends will keep me company. It’s up to me to decide who can stay or not, don’t you agree? I feel a lot better, thanks to the medication you prescribed. Start the procedure of having me released, please.” Annelie recognized Carolyn’s commanding tone of voice.
Not caring if anyone saw them, Annelie walked over to Carolyn and put her arms around her, holding her tight. “You scared me.”
“I’m sorry.” Carolyn’s voice was a mere whisper. “I didn’t mean to. God, another hospital, another scare. We can’t keep doing this.” She tried a smile.
“I know.”
“Gregory and I’ll find some coffee. See you ladies later.” Helen pulled Gregory with her toward the waiting area, tucking the hospital robe tighter around her.
Returning to her room, Carolyn sat down on the gurney, still holding Annelie’s hand. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
Annelie examined Carolyn’s face, raising her free hand to touch her lover’s lips. “I’m devastated you’re here. You scared me. Regina called and all she could say was that you fainted, were unconscious for a while, and they called the paramedics. I…Apart from going with you to see Beth, I haven’t really been in a hospital since my mother died.”
“Oh, love, come here.” Carolyn pulled Annelie closer. “This doctor, in spite of his harsh manners, is very conscientious. He’s going to refer me to a different neurologist.”
“A neurologist? What does he think is wrong?”
Settling against Annelie’s shoulder, Carolyn closed her eyes. “Same as before, but with a twist.” She sighed. “He started asking me how my latest weeks have been, and at first I thought, no more stressful than usual, considering how I live my life. Then I began to list everything that’s happened. It’s been crazy, Annie. Falling in love, the contracts, the imposter, the movie, Beth…The CAT scan was negative, so no reason to think it was anything else than my usual migraines gone awry.”
Annelie brushed Carolyn’s disheveled hair from her forehead. “I’m glad they did a thorough check. And you’re right. It has been one thing after another. So what did Dr. Standoffish think?”
“That I need to start taking much better care of myself. My blood pressure was elevated—not dangerously high, but still up there. My level of stress, well, the list says it all. I’m not on the most effective medication for my type of migraines, so he’s going to take care of that. I’m going to see a dietician—or perhaps it was a nutritionist—I don’t remember, to learn more about my condition. The only thing I was doing right was the exercise. He told me to keep swimming.”
“Whatever it takes, darling,” Annelie sighed, kissing the top of Carolyn’s head. Feeling her stiffen, she pulled back. “What?”
Carolyn looked at her with wide eyes. “You called me darling.”
Annelie opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again. Blushing faintly, she cleared her throat. “So I did. Do you mind?”
“No, no. It was just such a surprise. You never use terms of endearment.” Leaning against Annelie, she closed her eyes again. “Why now? Because you were worried?”
“I don’t know. Perhaps. I never use words like that because they’re so common and meaningless. I guess it happened because that’s what you are.”
“I’m what? Common? Now I’m confused.”
Placing soft kisses along her lover’s hairline, Annelie finally realized Carolyn wasn’t in any danger. “Silly. You are my darling. I love you.”
Carolyn held on closer. “I love you too.”
“What happens now?” Annelie didn’t think she could let go of Carolyn.
“They wanted to keep me here overnight, but I refused. I’ll be very careful and not do anything but rest this weekend, I promise. I just want you to take me home.”
“All right. Home it is.”
*
Jem stirred one pot while lowering the temperature on another. “Was that the doorbell?”
“Yes, I’ll get it. Helen’s on her way up.”
Carolyn stayed in a chair by the kitchen table. She felt better but was still shaken from her ordeal earlier in the day. “It smells wonderful, Jem. Casseroles are the perfect autumn food.”
“Couldn’t agree more. Easy to make, and if there’s enough left for the next day, it usually tastes even better. Ah, here’s Helen now.” Jem wiped her hands on a towel and greeted their guest.
“Nice to see you again, Jem.” Helen smiled. “I better warn you, I’m starving.”
“Good. I’ve made enough to feed a small country.”
“I’m glad you could join us,” Carolyn said. “You don’t need to be alone when you just banged your head. Or should I say, I banged your head.”
“Didn’t they want to keep you in the hospital?” Jem asked while they all sat down around the table. “I thought a twenty-four-hour observation was routine.”
“The doctor was pretty exasperated with me, and Carolyn, for going against his recommendations. I pointed out I never lost consciousness so he agreed I could take care of myself. He sent me home with pretty strong pills to take if the headache gets worse.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re staying with us,” Annelie offered, reaching for a bottle of mineral water.
“To be honest, I agree.” Helen sighed. “I feel okay, but I do feel headachy.”
“Some food and rest will fix that,” Jem assured her, rising to check the stove again. “We’re lucky Annelie has plenty of space for all of us.”
“How long are you staying, Jem?” asked Helen.
“I have to leave Tuesday. I hate to go, because I’ve really enjoyed evaluating manuscripts in a different environment.”
After devouring Jem’s chicken casserole, Annelie and Jem took care of th
e dishes, having pushed Carolyn and Helen into the living room. The actresses sat down on the couch, Carolyn looking at Helen appraisingly. “I never got to thank you earlier. Gregory said you saved me from a nasty fall.”
“It was nothing.”
“And that nothing made you have several stitches in the back of your head.”
“Better that than a broken neck.” Helen gazed back. “Really, apart from this silly headache, I’m fine.”
Carolyn looked down at her hands, not sure how to phrase what she wanted to say. “Listen, Helen, I’d like to talk to you about something.” She paused, looking squarely at the other woman. “I know you’re aware of my reputation for being ambitious and competitive. Rumor has it I’m prepared to walk over corpses to get the role I’m after.”
Helen propped her arm on the back of the couch, waiting for Carolyn to continue.
“For a long time that was true. First, because I needed the work and the money, and then…because of habit and ambition, I guess. Since we’re becoming friends, it matters to me what you think. I used to not give a damn about other people’s opinions, and I’ve never really been friends with another actress, but lately that’s changed. I’m tired of competing with everyone.”
Carolyn fiddled with the hem of her shirt, twisting it between trembling fingers. “And it’s not just about me anymore. I’ve got someone in my life I care very much about. I want this someone to be proud of me, not only as a professional, but as a person. One way to do that is to be friends with a few special people like you, and to be true to them.” Carolyn tried to disentangle her fingers from the shirt, while giving a faint smile. “Am I making any sense at all?”
Helen returned the smile, reaching out for Carolyn’s restless hands. “Carolyn, don’t worry about it. Yes, I’ve heard through the grapevine about your ambition. I’m a fairly uncomplicated person with a simple outlook on life. You, Annelie, and now Jem have never treated me with anything but kindness and respect. That’s so much more than I bargained for when I agreed to do the audiobooks and the movies. To be accepted into this inner circle of wonderful, caring individuals—that’s pretty awesome. As for our budding friendship, I’d say it’s more than budding. You’re a good person underneath your facade, Carolyn. You just have to realize that for yourself.”