My dad was away more often than not after they joined. It was just me and mom. Too many Christmases were spent shipping our presents to Cody, Patrick and Dad rather than us all sitting around the tree and opening them together.
My dad had set the example and my brothers had followed his lead. Because of that, I now found myself resenting my dad.
It didn’t seem to matter because the day I lost one, I walked away from the others.
It isn’t my dad’s fault. Rationally, I know this but I have to blame someone, and Cody is no longer here. My beautiful dad is the victim of my pain. My heart knows what my head won’t admit. I can’t win the internal battle between my heart and head that is telling me I’m wrong and being unfair.
Now, I was going back.
I haven’t seen my family in almost two years and only spoke to them, or really only mom, on the phone if I had to. Now, the eve of the day before I return, I’m terrified. Will we be able to heal? To become a family again? I don’t believe we can. These are my thoughts as I prepare for my shift at work.
I graduated last year with a bachelor’s degree in business but haven’t found a job related to my degree plan yet. I haven’t even looked to be honest. I took a job at DJ’s Saloon when I first arrived in town, and have been here ever since.
The day I walked in to apply for a job and was hired, I began to find a little peace. Although my heart disagreed. It wasn’t peace. It’s silence. Emptiness. Loneliness.
Shane and Birdie, the owners hired me on the spot and asked where I was staying. I'd stayed a few nights at a local motel before I was scheduled to move into the dorms. They offered me a small loft apartment that sat over the bar and I took it instead. It was fully furnished and as long as I worked for them, and helped out occasionally with their son, Hank, I could stay rent free. I moved in with two suitcases of clothes and never left.
I haven’t accumulated more than what I had when I arrived. I work, study, attend class and study some more. It keeps my mind occupied.
I haven’t made friends except for some of locals that come in frequently. I wouldn’t really call them friends. We’re friendly. Shane and Birdie are the only ones I really call friends. They’re also the only ones I ever shared about my reasons for coming to Lubbock. Birdie is so much fun. Always coming upstairs, pulling me from my studies and gossiping about the town’s people. I know she does it to make sure I don’t become a complete recluse.
Now it was time to say goodbye to them and make my way back to the place I use to call home, but truth be told nothing feels like home anymore. Nothing feels right and I wonder if anything ever will again.
My mom called a while back and told me Patrick had married his long time girlfriend, Jenny, at the courthouse. They bought a home in Spring Branch, near my parents' home and have settled in.
Our dad has been struggling and becoming withdrawn like Cody did. My mom confessed he just sits around and does nothing. She pleaded with Patrick and me to try and help him. To pull him back before the unthinkable happens, again.
Patrick’s enlistment ended shortly after we lost Cody and he didn’t reenlist. He got out and started his own security firm. I broke down and called him not too long ago. He told me his company is named Black Jacks. It’s named for the brigade he and his buddies served in. Black Jacks has become very successful. He hires mostly vets. His purpose is to help and give them a second chance after leaving the service. Those that are deemed un-hireable, he hires. He knows most reasons companies give our vets for denying them employment are just paranoia on their part. Those companies are just too scared to take chances or risk liability. Colonel Gregory Gadson, who is now retired, is the Army’s first double amputee to take over as commander of Fort Belvoir in Virginia. He even had a role in the movie, Battleship. He’s proved to be an amazing example for his troops. Patrick tries to give them back some self worth that being in the war took from them. Someone to support them when no one else will. His love for Cody and his country is what drove him to start his company and he runs it in memory and honor of him.
My dad also left the military. He retired after twenty-nine years of service. I did not attend his retirement ceremony. I wouldn’t be able not to sit through another military ceremony after Cody’s funeral. I couldn’t do it. I knew it was a selfish choice. I didn’t receive an invitation anyway which for some reason hurt more than I imagined it would.
It’s my last night at DJ’s Saloon and I’m wearing the ridiculous but sexy uniform DJ’s Saloon supplies for its waitresses as I walk down from my apartment upstairs.
I stop in the hallway leading to the main saloon to fix my full red satin skirt and adjust my off the shoulder corset. I briefly glance over and see a group of people sitting around a few tables they’ve pulled together.
Time to get back to work.
I adjust the feather in my hair then lower the garter on my fishnet hose just a tad before starting towards the bar. Shane is popping the tops off of a few beers and putting them on a tray. While he’s doing that, I scan the table. I gasp when I take them in. The men are hot and the women are beautiful.
Wow!
I lock eyes with one of the men and oh my, he’s very handsome. His hair is a light brown and his eyes look at be a soft, golden brown. I smile at him and he smirks. I observe his eyes raking over me but then his look takes on one of concentration. It’s like he’s trying to place me. He finally shakes his head, smirks again but throws in a wink this time. I can’t help but softly laugh.
Shane taps the bar letting me know the order is ready to go. I take in the tray full of beer and peek back at the table only to see the smirker still watching me. I blush and his reaction to my embarrassment is a huge grin. He only breaks eyes contact when one of the guys at the table says something to him.
“Got most of them taken care of. The guys all wanted beers. Get these to them and get the gals orders, honey.” Shane informs me.
“Sure.” I grab the tray, walk over to the table and start handing them out. I stop where three of the women are sitting. I recognize them, Delta and Darcy Ramsey. They’ve come in a few times and we’ve made small talk. Birdie just told me earlier their dad had been arrested. They don’t seem too torn up about it. I quickly remind myself I’m no one to judge another’s family. Star Henderson is sitting with them. I know her as I’ve picked up Hank from school a few times and he’s in her kindergarten class.
“What can I get y'all?” I smile at them in greeting.
“Hi, Allie. Well, I’m having a margarita.” Darcy orders and Delta throws her a nasty look. “She’ll have a tall glass of milk.” She rubs Delta’s tummy. Star laughs causing Delta to throw them both a look that promises harm if they don’t stop.
“Congratulations?” I offer and Delta blushes and smiles.
“Just water for me, Allie. Thanks.” But she’s not done; she turns back to Darcy and glares.
“I’ll have a white wine. Ignore these two.” Star responds, giggling.
“Got it.”
I make my way down the table where Nick Callaghan, The Prince of Cattle is sitting. Birdie told me all the girls in town have been after him for a while but no one has caught him. He and some of his ranch hands come in and unwind a few times a month. Watching him with the beautiful blonde on his arm I’m thinking he’s finally been caught.
Sitting with them is a super hot guy who takes my breath away. He reminds me of something tropical, like Hawaii. All I know is he’s tall, dark and exoctic and the girl he has his arm draped around is his total opposite with fair skin, auburn hair, freckles and green eyes. They complement each beautifully.
“Y'all ready to order?” The auburn haired girl tells me she’d like a bud light. I nod and look over in question at the girl with Nick.
“I’d like a beer and a job application.” Her smile is huge and sneaky.
Nick’s face begins turning red.
“A job application? Sure.” I giggle and grin.
“Yessss! I love your o
utfit and if I have to work here to have one, I will. By the way, I’m Abigail.” Before I can respond, Nick lets a deep growl.
Nick’s face turns redder so I take a step back. When he blows I don’t want to be close.
“No, you won’t, Abigail.” His tone declares his words as final...or so I thought.
“Um, excuse me.” Abigail winks at me before glaring at Nick. She narrows her eyes and that’s my cue to leave.
I scan the table making sure I have everyone’s orders when I once again lock eyes with the handsome smirker. I smile and laugh as I take my tray and head back to the bar.
There’s something about him.
While I’m waiting for their drinks, I catch Nick and Abigail still arguing but she’s grinning and finally he does too. He pulls her into his lap and she leans in and gives him a sweet kiss.
Sigh!
This group is way more fun than the ones that showed up yesterday and again today. A group of Lubbock’s self appointed princesses. This bunch takes being snobs to a new high. Thank God they went over by the pool tables so I don’t have to hear their whiny voices complaining all evening. I know I'll have to deal with them soon, but the reprieve is a welcome one.
I recite the orders to Shane then make my way to another table of guys. I clear a few empties from their table and take their orders. They’re being flirty but respectful. They’re not in uniform, but from their haircuts and they way they’re talking, I’m willing to bet they’re military. Possibly doing some type of drills at the nearby guard depot. I whip around when I hear a commotion and see that pain in the ass, Ashley approach Nick and his girl. Some crap is about to go down. I rush back to the bar, put my tray down and start over to stop any trouble, but Shane stops me.
“Not yet.” A mischievous grin crosses his face.
Huh?
I cast my eyes back right in time to watch Darcy slap Ashley so hard she falls down. I can’t hold in the loud gasp and giggle that flies from my mouth.
Oh, my God!
If anyone has ever deserved to be slapped it’s that rude troublemaker, Ashley. Whenever she’s in here she tips like crap then dismisses me like I’m the help.
Well, I guess I am the help. But she doesn’t have to be so rude.
One of Ashley’s friends helps her up off the ground. Another one, the short, annoying redhead that was complaining about her wine yesterday, starts screaming at Nick’s girl and jabbing her finger in her face. I watch the beautiful girl with the tropical looking guy walk away from the bar holding margaritas.
Where did she come from?
She sets the drink down in front of Delta before walking over to the redhead and I can’t lie, after yesterday, I’m hoping, watching and waiting for her to get it too. Watching the scene in amusement has me flashing back to my encounter with her the previous day.
“It’s too strong,” she complains after taking a sip and making a face. She actually confuses me for a moment, but then I look at her and point to her glass.
“It’s wine. What do you want me to do?” I’m completely baffled.
“Make it less strong,” she whines and hands me the glass. I look at her in disbelief, wondering if she’s for real but take the glass and walk back over to Shane more in shock than anything else. He looks at the glass when I reach out to hand it to him but he doesn’t take it.
“She said it’s too strong,” I advise still holding it up to him.
“Beg ‘pardon?” he asks. His eyebrows shoot up and he looks confused.
Yeah, you and I both, buddy.
“Princess Airhead over there.” I set the glass down on the bar. “The redhead complained her wine is too strong and would like you to fix it.” I push it across the bar to him. He looks over my shoulder at the redhead, shakes his head, picks up the bar gun, shoots some water in it, and pushes it back to me.
“Fixed.”
I smile and snicker then shrug my shoulders. I pick up the glass and hand it to her when I reach their table. I watch her take a sip, testing it and then smile.
“Thank you. That’s so much better. You should really adjust how many grapes you put in your bottles of wine. As a matter of fact, get me a comment card.” I watch as she looks around and snaps her fingers at me causing me to cock one of my eyebrows. I stand shocked as she goes on. “And I’ll fill it out. You can turn it into your manager. I’ll leave my number so he can call me if need be.” She sets the glass down, turns around, grabs a pool cue, and raises the tip to the cone chalk mounted on the wall before pulling it down and blowing on it. There's chalk tip squares lining the table, and as I watch, she leans down, aims at the cue ball right at the eight ball and knocks it in the pocket.
“I got one,” she exclaims and claps. I take a deep breath turn and walk back to the bar where Shane is standing with his jaw dropped.
“Did she—” he begins.
“Yes.” I set my tray down. Shane reaches behind the bar and grabs some cue tip chalk and hands it to me.
“There’s already some out. Sitting right there, on the edge of the table.” We both look back over at the group of idiots as Shane slowly leans down and puts them back.
Shane and I watch as she slaps the redhead and calls her an ugly Leprechaun.
“Ugly Leprechaun?” Shane bursts out laughing, “Did she really just call her an ugly Leprechaun?” I nod and we both laugh.
“Uh oh.” I stop laughing when Abigail gets up and punches Ashley. She yanks her hair a couple of times before Nick grabs her. With one final shove she pushes Ashley to the ground. Quickly the men at the table move to surround their women and calm them down between laughs.
“Crisis averted. Let’s get them a round on the house.” Shane slams his hand down on the bar still chuckling. He pulls beers from the cooler and sets them down. I’m loading them up on my tray when I hear chairs scraping along the floor. Shane hears it too and we glance over.
The guys from both tables are now standing off. Over twenty guys and they all look very angry. Lincoln Jennings, who also comes for a beer after a long day, pulls Delta to the bar and sets her on a stool. She glares at him and shares a few hushed words but he smiles, places his hand on her tummy, and leans in to kiss her. She kisses him back before he walks back over and joins the other men from their table. He must be the baby’s father. Back in the middle of the room, the faceoff is still going on. I’m pretty sure they’re not about to start snapping their fingers at each and singing out their anger like West Side Story, so Shane goes to dial the Sheriff. He stops when one guys puts up his hands placating everyone and calming the situation.
“Whew, that was—” I look back at Shane and nod as he takes a relieved breath but then he hastily dials 911.
What? I whip back around.
“Damn. Did you see that?” he asks me, then begins explaining to the operator he needs the sheriff to come down and break up a bar fight. “Shit, I hope they don’t tear up my place.”
Oh, I definitely saw it.
The guy who was trying to calm everybody has taken down three of the other guys in less than ten seconds. He’s got to be some type of martial arts expert or something.
Whoa!
I race towards the brawl trying to think of a plan to put a stop to things before any damage is done to the bar. Shane is talking on the phone so I just need a couple of moments before the sheriff gets here. I decide to offer everyone a round on the house. Before I can execute my plan, an arm snakes around my waist and pulls me back. I end up plopping down on a lap. I struggle to get free and I’m close to using my own defensive moves but when I turn around I lock eyes with the smirker. I can’t help it, I smile and he smiles back.
“That’s my brother, Jake. Don’t worry. He’s got this,” he reassures me.
For some reason I actually relax and wait for the sheriff to show. I keep my eyes on him, studying him. He’s very handsome. Now that I’m up close, I see his eyes have gold and green specks and he has beautiful lips.
“Hi, I’m Jesse.�
� His voice is like velvet.
I can hear the brawl going on around me but I keep my eyes on his.
“Hi, Jesse. I’m Allison but everyone calls me Allie.”
A beautiful and dangerous smile spreads across his face.
“It’s nice to meet you, Allie.”
He’s still holding me tight when all of a sudden he stands up and places me on my wobbly feet. He rushes forward, clotheslining a guy who was about to jump on Jake’s back.
“Impressive,” I confess and he chuckles when he makes his way back to me.
So far no damage has been done. Well to the bar anyway. Most of the guys from the other table are littered around the floor moaning. A few of the people from Jesse’s table are at the bar ordering more drinks and the rest have taken over the pool tables since Ashley and her bitch posse vacated them to cause trouble. But most are just sitting down chatting showing disinterest in the scene.
Does this happen often? No one seems concerned. My thoughts are broken when Jesse responds to my earlier compliment pulling me back down on his lap.
“Thanks. So what time do you get off?”
I can’t help it, I start cracking up.
“Sorry to disappoint you, cowboy, but this.” I gesture to my uniform. “It’s just a costume. I’m not really available for a good time or date.” I actually find myself wanting to hang out with him but it’s too late now.
“Well, that’s disappointing because I was willing to barter my best cow with the bar owner over there if I could get you to go and have a cup of coffee with me,” he teases.
“Keep your cow. I’m leaving early in the morning and I need to get some sleep.” He looks disappointed at the news and I share in his disappointment.
Weird.
“You going on a trip?”
“Kind of. Going home.” My face falls into a frown. I just can’t help it.
“Home? This isn’t home?”
His Forgotten Love (A McGinty's Of San Antonio Series Novel Book 4) Page 2