Johnny looks at all of us and then points at the men. “I’m a cop. We will not be getting in any fights tonight because of—” He gestures to all the women. “Got it?” When no one says anything I hear him mumble, “Shit, I’m going to be bailing all their asses out of jail tonight.” He throws his hands up in defeat and walks towards the exit that leads down to the river walk.
We make our way down the sidewalks of the river walk to Benny’s, an awesome night club not far from our hotel. Jesse is wearing blue jeans, boots, and a brown button down shirt tucked in with a belt and western style belt buckle. When I saw him my jaw dropped too. Once inside Benny’s, Johnny walks off and talks to one of the bouncers. They do the man hand-shake-hug and then Johnny points at Jesse and me. The bouncer smiles and walks off only to return a few minutes later with a waitress. She instructs us to follow her and leads us through the club. We end up outside on a patio under the lights. It’s a closed off area with a few tables and chairs.
“This is yours for tonight and congratulations to the newlyweds. I’ll be back in a few minutes to get your order.” She smiles and walks off.
I look over at Johnny in question and he smiles before he explains. “The guy I was talking to, used to be a cop but now is head of security here and a couple of other clubs around town. He’s also dating the club’s manager. Told him why we were here, guess he hooked us up.” His smile widens showing dimples around his goatee when I step up and give him a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you, Johnny.”
“Yeah, thanks man.” Jesse says.
“You’re welcome.” He slaps Jesse on the arm and winks at me.
Two waitresses return with glasses and a bottle of champagne. They set it up and then take our orders.
“To Jesse and Allie McGinty.” Connor toasts and everywhere cheers and clinks glasses.
Dance music can be heard from inside the club but out on the patio it’s not too loud. When Usher’s OMG comes on, Abigail puts down her drink and grabs Nick’s hand, pulling him inside to the dance floor. Soon all the couples follow, leaving Nash, Chase and Johnny at the table. By the middle of the song, I notice Nash, Chase and Johnny have all found dance partners. I can’t help the smile on my face.
Is this really happening? Please don’t let this be a dream.
After a few more songs, the guys head back to the table leaving us girls alone to dance. We’re having a great time laughing and dancing but when Nick Jonas’ Chains comes on, Jesse appears in front of me. I give him my full attention and wrap my arms around his neck. His arms wrap around my waist and he pulls me in close and we begin moving as one. One of his thick blue jeaned thighs is between mine guiding and controlling my movements, causing my dress to rise. Our skin is turning damp where our bodies our touching and the hair on Jesse’s neck is wet from sweat but neither of us pull back from the heat. His hands travel down; cup my butt pulling me against him. I push into him more when I feel he’s hard against my stomach. My moans and whimpers are hidden behind the music. Jesse leans down, kisses and licks my neck while my hands travel up his into his hair and pull him closer. If we don’t stop, we’re going to end up ripping off each other’s clothes right here.
“We’re leaving now.” Jesse demands. He looks over at Chase and holds up his hand and gestures we’re leaving. Chase is standing with a girl dancing, but nods back in understanding.
We barely make it back to hotel elevator without attacking each other. Jesse pushes the button for our floor and then my back is against the elevator wall and his lips are on mine. The elevator dings and Jesse pulls me out and down the hall. I can’t keep up in my heels so he turns and lifts me by my butt.
“Hop up.” he commands and I do. I hop up, and wrap my legs around his waist as he makes his way down the hall to our room. I’m already reaching down and pulling the back of his shirt from his jeans and rubbing my hands against him.
“Baby, going to come in my fucking pants if you don’t stop.” he warns as he holds me up with one hand on my butt as the other reaches in and pulls out our hotel key card. After he unlocks the door and gets us inside, he sets me on my feet. I hastily unbutton his shirt and start kissing down his chest as I pull it off of him. He reaches behind me and unzips my dress and pulls it down my shoulders, and it slides down and off my body leaving it to fall to the floor. He growls when he’s see me in my corset, lace panties and heels.
“Stop!” He barks his breathing heavy. I find myself blinking in surprise at his tone but do as he says and stop and face him and now my breathing is heavy. “Fuck!” he hisses. “Turn around, Allie.” he orders softly. I do as he says and he runs his hands along the silk and lace of my corset before he turns me back around.
“You’re so beautiful. If I had to do it all again, the people I lost, the people you lost, the pain we went through to finally find each other, I would, just to have and love you.” he confides, almost in guilt.
I become overwhelmed with emotion as well and a few tears trail down my cheeks. I pull Jesse to the bed with me and push him down. I straddle him in my panties, corset and heels as I run my fingernails down his chest causing him to shudder. He kicks off his boots while holding onto my hips. I reach his belt; unhook it and then his pants before pulling his zipper down. I lean in running kisses and my tongue along his abs while my hand reaches in and pulls him free. His body jerks when I find him and he lifts up enough so I can yank his pants down and off, then my mouth is on him.
“Fuck.” He groans and his hips thrust up hard. “Allie, baby, I'm going to come in your mouth if you don’t stop.” He warns.
I release him only to say, “Please, Jesse.” I take him back in my mouth as I lower my body between his legs.
“Baby, I want to come inside of you, but fuck you mouth feels good.” He’s holding my head in place and thrusting his hips, going deeper in my mouth.
“Trust me, Jesse; I’ll get you there again. Next time inside of me.” I promise.
With that, he grips the strands of my hair and begins pumping in my mouth harder before letting out a long groan. He fills my mouth and when his breathing calms, he gazes at me with tenderness.
“Come here.” I slowly crawl up his body and lay against him. He pulls my mouth down to his and kisses me. We kiss for a long time, until he positions me to straddle him. He pushes me up his body and lifts my hips. “Lift your hands up and hold onto the top of the headboard.” I grasp onto the headboard and he lowers himself down my body and rips my panties from me. I gasp and look down. “Lower yourself, baby. I get a taste now,” He pulls my hips down so I’m on his mouth. His tongue and fingers find me. “Baby, I’m never going to get enough of you.” The pressure is building as I push down on his fingers even more. “That’s right. Keep going.” he orders and spanks me. I gasp again and do as he says.
“Jesse.” I moan because it feels so good.
“Shush, baby. Feel it.” His tongue replaces his fingers and then he spanks me again, only harder and I come screaming out his name. I collapse on top of him and close my eyes and begin to fall asleep.
“Baby, I’m hard again.” He and kisses me against my neck. “Can you take more?”
I slide off of him and lay on my tummy completely relaxed but wanting more. Jesse turns on his side and begins lightly running his fingers up and down my back, each time going lower and lower. I raise my hips up to meet his touch and he moves in closer.
“Open.” he whispers and I do. His fingers find me and slowly start touching me, teasing me with a feather-light touch. I push and he pulls back.
“Jesse?” I whine and turn to face him.
He looks down at me and asks, “More?” I nod. “Tell me, wife.” he says unmoving.
“Jesse, please give me more. Give me it all.”
His eyes flare and then he comes down on top of me. He kisses and bites my shoulder, not too hard, but not soft all the way down my back. “This ass is perfect for spanking, Allie.” My body shudders at his words. He kisses it and then smacks. All of the sudd
en, his body and heat are gone and his hands are pulling me up by my hips. He kicks my legs apart and positions himself behind me. “You want it all, wife?” He doesn’t move.
I don’t answer, just push back against him. He stills as his hand travels up my back till he reaches my hair. He grasps my strands and pulls my head back a little in warning before he asks again. “Do you want it all, Allie?”
“Yes, Jesse.” I plead. My head is yanked back as Jesse slams into me. He doesn’t stop once he’s in. The feeling, his touch is bordering on painful but it feels so good. “Yes.” I whimper and push back into him. Jesse reaches around and circles me as I push back into him, meeting his thrusts.
“Baby, take over. Touch yourself.” I reach down and circle myself as he grabs both my hips and pumps into me.
“Jesse, I’m there.” I scream.
“Me too. Go!” he groans out.
Both of us come hard, our voices calling the other’s name so loud I’m sure the entire hotel heard us. We both collapse on the bed and Jesse slowly slides from me and falls to his back.
“Allie?” Are you okay, baby?” he asks in concern.
I’m so tired and relaxed, all I can do is turn my head over and whisper, “Hush, Jesse. I need sleep. I love you.”
I vaguely hear him chuckle and the bed moves as he gets up. He comes back a few minutes later with a warm cloth and I feel him gently clean me. I feel his soft touch run along my back as he releases the hooks on my corset and pulls it from my body, kissing my back. Then his hands travel across my butt and thighs. He raises my feet and pulls my heels from my feet, placing kisses along my ankles and arches of my feet. He then pulls the covers over us. He leans into me, his body almost completely covering mine and I let out a sigh and close my eyes.
The next day, Jesse and I meet our family’s at The Original Blanco Cafe for breakfast. We sit around talking and when I glance over at my dad, he’s watching me. A smile spreads across my face and when he sees it, one spreads across his face. In less than seventy-two hours, the two years I’ve been away seems to have vanished. I’m not sure what I expected when I came home, but it wasn’t this. I wasn’t expecting to feel as close as I always had with my parents and Patrick, but I do. Even closer than before.
After we pay, we start walking back to the hotel when my dad pulls me aside. “Allie, I’m not sure how you’ll feel about this but your mom and I have been talking and well, I need to ask you something.” Worry laces his tone.
“Sure. What is it?” I ask and watch as he takes a deep breath.
“Stone and I’ve been talking and well, I should have done this a long time ago but didn’t. No excuses. I just didn’t. But now I’ve decided to start seeing a therapist. Tomorrow I’m calling and making an appointment. Stone recommended someone. I know ya’ll don’t know but Stone and I, we go way back. We served together and he laid into me good. Threatened to kick my ass for being so stubborn. He asked me how many troops I sent for assistance yet I didn’t go myself.” He shakes his head.
I wondered if they knew each other from their military days. Fate flashes through my mind and heart. As Jesse was sent to me, through us, Stone was sent to my dad. I send up a silent thanks to God as my dad goes on.
“Mom feels after everything that’s happened she should go too. I spoke with Patrick and I was surprised to find he’s been seeing someone for a while. He tried to talk me into going several times but never said he was. Now I think he may have been ashamed to tell he was going because I wasn’t. God, that tears me up. So, how do you feel about possibly doing family therapy or maybe just speaking to someone by yourself?” he rushes out probably worried he’s offended me.
What he doesn’t know is that after speaking with Jesse I had already decided it was time to see a therapist and look for a support group. I try to tell him that when he starts talking again.
“I’ve been a terrible father, I know.” He claims shamefully. “I was so caught up in my own grief that I let you walk away. I should have done more. I’ve failed you all but—” He hangs his head.
“Stop it!” I snap and his head shoots up and his eyes find mine. “Enough,” I demand but my voice loses its edge and becomes a weak screech when my dad tilts his head to the side and one eyebrow lifts.
In this moment, I see my dad from when I was a little girl. The head tilt and eyebrow lift is a warning. He never had to do anything but that because we never pushed him past this point. I lower my head and try not to start laughing like a lunatic because I’m so happy to see it again. I gather myself and look up at him and see his lip twitching, trying not to laugh too.
“Sorry, Dad.” A giggle flies out of my mouth and he starts laughing. “What I wanted to say was that, yes, I will go to counseling and therapy with you, all of us and by myself. Whatever it takes, I’ll do it.” I step closer to him. “Whatever it takes.”
He reaches out and cups my head and for the first time I get a look at the tattoo on his arm. I pull it closer and run my fingers along the sad ink. It’s a folded up flag with dog tags hanging across it. Cody’s name is on those tags. Above it, do not fear, for I am free. I can’t help it, I hiccup a sob but quickly take a breath and pull myself together.
“I think Cody is free, finally. Me? Every day you were gone I was anything but free. All I did was live in fear. I worried that Cody’s death might cause your thoughts to turn dark and lead you down a path where I’d lose you too. That’s why we drove up to Lubbock so often.” he confesses and guilt overwhelms me. He lost his son and then because I was selfish and weak, he suffered twice as much.
“Dad, I was so, so wrong.” I wrap my arms around his waist. He pulls me close and rests his chin on my head.
“Cody didn’t want this for us.”
“No, he didn’t,” I agree. I wipe the tears falling down my cheeks. "It’s time. Time for us to be free too,” I whisper and wrap my dad up tight in my arms again.
With that, my beautiful dad pulls me into his arms and holds me on the sidewalk on St. Mary Street overlooking the San Antonio River below. Everything in this moment is beautiful.
When we get back to the hotel, everyone divides up and goes to their rooms to grab their bags. It’s close to checkout time for everyone but us. We still have one more night.
Jesse and I stay in the lobby and every few minutes more of our family make their way down to the lobby and join us. Everyone except Abigail will be in the area. I look around for her and find her locked in an embrace with Nick. I’m so glad she’s not upset like last time. Since she found out Nick has a couple of helicopters at his disposal her sadness has lifted.
We make our way to the parking lot where everyone is parked. Trunks are opened, luggage is loaded. I look down at my hand that’s holding the symbol of my love for Jesse. It’s so beautiful, like him and the gift of being reunited with my family. Not three days ago, I sat alone thinking I was perfectly content with my life being that way. Now, I could never imagine not having all these people around me. It almost seems like the last two years never happened. It’s like God has erased the bad feelings, memories and pain for me. The emptiness I felt during those days, even though I denied feeling them, is completely gone.
I’ve it heard it said when a person suffers a trauma that they most likely won’t have a memory of it. I wish that would have been the case for Cody too. They say it’s the mind’s way of protecting itself but I guess for some, it’s embedded so deep in their thoughts and soul no matter what happens or how much time passes, their scars remain open and unhealed. I say God has His ways of protecting and healing our hearts no matter the wounds in our minds. I’m so thankful that although Cody’s mind was hurt, his heart was not. He still felt our love and he still gave it. I used to lay awake at night wondering where God was during his pain. When Cody was by himself with the darkness taking over his mind, was God sitting next to him, holding him through his pain? From the letter Cody left me, I know He was. God was holding me too, and our dad, mom and brother. Holding us t
ight until we made it to this very day, so we could once again feel His blessing. I’ll always miss Cody, every minute of every day, but I feel like I’m healing and I thank God because I know even as Cody went home to Him, He sent Jesse to me.
It’s time to focus on how he lived and not how he died. It’s time to remember his life and celebrate it. We forgot all the good and beauty that was Cody and let one moment define everything about him. I don’t believe one moment of someone’s life, especially if their last moment is sadly tragic; erases what they were before then. Cody was the most amazing brother, a wonderful son, a brave soldier, a loyal friend, and he had the voice of an angel. That’s who Cody was and that’s what I want to live on in our hearts and minds.
I take a deep breath and give hugs to everyone. Soon the parking lot is empty. Jesse takes my hand and we start back for the hotel.
“Anything you want to do while we’re downtown?” he asks.
“Um, I use to love walking around down here, visiting the Alamo and some of the missions.” I reply and look over at him. I wonder if he had other ideas but then he smiles and starts pulling me towards his car.
“We’ll do the tour. We’ll go to all the missions. We’ll start at the Alamo and then make our way down by Stinson Airport where the last mission is along with the aqueduct and ghost tracks."
“Whoooa!” I come to an abrupt halt. “No way, Jesse,” I warn him, turn and start back for the hotel.
“Allie, are you scared?” He’s following me and laughing.
I whip around and give him an incredulous look. “Scared isn’t really the word I would use. More like terrified.” I turn and start back for the hotel again.
“You’re serious? You’re scared of a bunch of little kid ghosts?” he taunts as he catches up to me.
I do a full body jerk and shiver in fear before I turn and look at Jesse. “Stop!” I whisper and he bursts out laughing.
His Forgotten Love (A McGinty's Of San Antonio Series Novel Book 4) Page 13