by C. M. Owens
“Does it bother you that I’m drunk?” he asks, his smile wavering. “We never talked about it, but I know your dad—”
I wave a dismissive hand. “Getting drunk and being a drunk are two different things. Even I drink too much on occasion.”
He nods, his smile returning.
“I wouldn’t object to seeing you drunk,” he tells me with a daring little expression.
“I don’t pole dance. It’s actually dreadfully boring,” I assure him, not taking the flirty bait.
“Where’s Sean?” he asks me, looking around.
“He’s having his first-ever sleepover with a friend from school,” I say, unable to stop the huge smile that spreads across my face.
Maverick smiles, too.
“Girl or boy?”
I slap his stomach reflexively, and he grunts as he laughs. He rubs it, feigning pain, when we both know it didn’t hurt him. I, on the other hand, resist the urge to rub the back of my hand that I used to hit him, because his abs have gotten a lot harder over the past few weeks in the absence of pie.
He grins as he brings the bottle to his lips, taking another sip of his beer.
I glance around, finding several people jerking their heads away when I catch them looking at us. They don’t even bother hiding their smiles.
Meddlers.
“I was actually going to ask if you’d have a problem with me taking over Brin’s task of shuttling him from school to dance and back home,” he says, studying my eyes. “Don’t you dare tell him, but I miss the little shit.”
Warmth spreads through my chest, and even though it’ll be hard as hell to see him daily, I wouldn’t dare deny Sean this. I know he—though he’d also never admit it to Maverick—misses Maverick too.
“I’m sure he’d like that. What about Bananas? Do you miss her?”
“Fuck no.” He shudders as I laugh quietly.
When the conversation stalls and we just stare at each other, on the verge of doing something more than just staring, I decide it’s time to remove myself from his gravitational pull.
“I’m going to go find Brin and let her know I’m here,” I say as a way of getting away from him.
He just continues to smirk at me, because I’m transparent to him. When you spend months in each other’s pockets, never away from each other more than you absolutely have to be, you tend to get to know each other really well.
And fall really hard.
Shaking off the fact I can feel his eyes tracking me, I go to Brin, finding her also drunk already.
“Am I late or something?” I ask as she laughs at whatever Britt has said.
I take a seat by the redhead I barely know, as Brin smiles widely at me from across the table.
“Maverick and I played a drinking game. Then everyone started showing up, and they got in on the game. And now…blame Maverick.”
My eyes inadvertently dart over, finding him saying something to Dane that has Dane scowling. No doubt he’s being a gold-medaling smartass.
“If you don’t want him knowing you’re madly in love, you might want to stop staring and smiling, because he’s drunk. He’s likely to come over here and drag you out over his shoulder,” Brin says, amused.
I snap my eyes away from Maverick and clear my throat as Britt and Brin stare at me with twin grins.
“So, where’s this drinking game you speak so highly of? I have some catching up to do. I took an Uber for a reason.”
She smirks and hands me what looks to be a Jell-O shooter.
“We just skipped to the fun part after a while. Bottoms up.”
Music is playing over a speaker, and I take the shooter, then another, loosening up enough to sway with the beat of the song.
“You want one?” I ask Britt as I take another.
“Dane has a fit if she drinks, forgetting she’s in college,” Brin answers.
“He thinks I’ll be influenced too much by the alcohol’s effect and lose my virginity to someone without meaning to,” Britt states with zero emotion, and I choke a little on the Jell-O as Brin giggles.
Britt remains stoic.
“Apparently inebriation is the key to losing my virginity, but I’d rather be fully alert when it finally happens,” Britt goes on, not a hint of joking in her tone. “I just don’t drink around potential sex partners. But I think I’m going to pick one of the guys from LARP—”
“LARP?” Brin asks.
“Live action role play,” Britt explains. “Anyway, there are a lot of other virgins there, so I thought we could help each other out. Harley keeps saying two virgins shouldn’t sleep together because it’ll be awful, but the guys keep threatening everyone with any experience who seems interested in me. They think I don’t know what they’re doing, but Bella has briefed me on the truth.”
Her tone never changes. Like it’s monotone throughout. I just blink as Brin shakes with silent laughter.
Rain calls for Britt, who stands and leaves me alone with Brin, who is still laughing lightly.
“She almost made me believe she was being serious,” I say as I take another shooter, and then decide to pace myself after it.
“She was serious. Britt is unintentionally funny and unabashedly blunt. It’s part of her charm.”
My eyes flick up to see Maverick laughing as Corbin twerks. It takes me a second to realize the twerking song—as I call it—is playing.
Corbin is glaring at Maverick, and Maverick is throwing a few ones.
“Funny how this is the first time I’ve seen him smile since you left. He wouldn’t even go out with any of us. Yet you’re here, and he’s acting like himself. As though just your presence has brought him back.”
I blow out a shaky breath, unable to look away from him. Obviously I don’t respond to her. I’m too busy trying to remind myself how impossible it would be to walk away a second time.
I’m not strong enough to do it twice.
“Let’s dance!” Ruby calls out to us, waving us over.
I struggle to stand the hell up. Apparently those shooters were a little stronger than I realized.
I join Ruby, Tria, and Brin, and I dance, closing my eyes, feeling the music.
When La La suddenly blasts over the speakers, everyone roars and whistles, mocking Maverick. But Maverick is hard to mock, because he owns things that would mortify most people.
Instead of cowering, he just grins, and catcalls and whistles emerge louder when he starts pulling his shirt over his head, his hips moving scandalously as he draws out the partial striptease.
Of course I watch.
He tosses his shirt at Kode, who catches it and rolls his eyes, as Maverick does some Magic Mike moves that spike my blood. This is cruel.
Kode’s hands go over Tria’s eyes, but she smiles like she can still see through his fingers. Corbin just laughs as Maverick dances toward me, his eyebrows bouncing as he gets damn close.
He mouths the words La La in time with the song, and I can’t help but grin like an idiot. Kode tosses his shirt back at him, and Maverick laughs when he catches it, ending the sexy dance as he tugs his shirt back on.
He goes to grab a drink, and I pretend I’m unaffected. Maybe we can be friends.
Two arms wrap around my waist as a familiar body moves in behind mine, and Maverick buries his face against my neck, making that last thought moot.
I barely suppress the shiver that tries to rattle my body. Brin grins and looks away as Maverick dances behind me, his body firmly pressed up against mine.
“I just need a crutch for a second. Legs are getting numb,” he says against my neck.
When his lips brush the skin of my neck as he speaks, I can’t suppress the shiver any longer. This. Is. Torture.
I really should be pushing him away. I should. No doubt about it.
Instead, I become his crutch as he continues to dance close to me, getting drunker and drunker as the night goes on.
Even after he finally lets me go and goes to lean against a wall whil
e he’s talking to Kode, I still feel his presence lingering.
Finally, Maverick is sitting in a chair, eyes almost closed. I’ve watched him all night, worried he was going to eventually pass out and get hurt.
Breaking off from the group of girls, I go over as Tag Masters bends, wrapping Maverick’s arm around his shoulders, and helping him to stand.
Maverick’s eyes lazily open, and he rolls them when he sees Tag helping him.
“I’m not ready to go,” Maverick grumbles, even as Kode joins Tag and the two combine their efforts to help him toward the door.
I follow behind them, not saying anything.
“I can drive him. I haven’t been drinking,” Tag tells Kode, who grunts when Maverick’s legs give out, forcing the two of them to divide his weight among each other and drag him.
It hurts my heart.
“I said, I’m not ready to go,” Maverick slurs.
“I’ll come with you, and I’ll stay with him. He doesn’t need to be alone right now. He could get sick,” I say to Kode as I finally make my presence known.
Kode startles, having been unaware of my stalking, and Maverick smirks over at me. “Now I’m ready to go,” Maverick says, causing Kode and Tag both to groan.
They put him in the backseat of a SUV, and I climb in beside him. The bench-like seat is perfect for Maverick to pull me up against him, his arms closing around me. Tag takes the wheel, and Kode climbs into the passenger seat, looking back at us as Maverick kisses against my neck.
I try to remind myself that he’s really drunk, and that he’s just in need of some comfort, not letting the lines blur as I pat one of his hands.
“You sure you want to stay with him? He’s going to be all over you. You’re literally all he wants right now.”
Heart. Hurts.
Maverick grins against my neck. “She knows. No need to tell her.”
Rolling my eyes, I say, “I’m not leaving him alone like this.”
“I can stay with him,” Kode offers.
“Hell no,” Maverick scoffs, causing Kode to grin.
“I’ll stay. I won’t sleep at all unless I can see with my own eyes that he’s okay,” I explain, which only prompts Kode to smirk.
They know I’m in love with him. That’s not a question, so it shouldn’t be so surprising that I’m worried about him. The only thing stopping me from giving in and turning myself over all over again is the very brutal reality that it can all be gone again tomorrow.
Then I wouldn’t leave this time.
And my brother…
It wouldn’t be fair.
Tag starts driving us the short distance to Maverick’s house, and Maverick continues to drive me insane by kissing on my neck.
“I’ve fucking missed you,” he finally says on a sigh.
Reaching over, I thread our fingers together, finding it impossible to say anything.
As soon as we reach his house, the guys help him out, though his legs seem to be working a little better as the two of them get him to the bedroom. As soon as they drop him to the bed, I start taking his shoes off.
“You got it from here?” Kode asks, giving me one last out.
“Got it,” I tell him, preparing for a night of pure torment.
I start working his pants down, and Maverick smirks at me as the other two leave.
He leans up, pushing them down himself. “I can undress myself,” he says, grinning at me like he’s amused as shit.
Now I feel a little stupid.
He wobbles as he swings his legs off the bed, and I go to steady him before he tips off completely.
“Now sitting and standing might be an issue though,” he says, eyes widening a little.
When I start laughing, he tugs me to him, forcing me to stand between his legs while he wears a T-shirt and underwear.
“Sleep with me. Give me a night of sleep,” he says so softly, raw emotion lingering in the words.
“Okay,” is all I can say, because I don’t have the appropriate strength to deny him.
The relief that coats his features is just one more thing that reminds me how much I love him, and how I keep hopping over the wall that’s supposed to keep me distanced.
He pulls his shirt off, and he gets into the bed again, working the covers down until he can pull them over him.
I get down to my panties and T-shirt because I can’t sleep in jeans. Yeah. That’s my excuse.
Apparently, I’m a masochist.
As soon as I’m under the covers, Maverick pulls me to him, and I go willingly. His arms wrap around me, and then it happens before I can stop it.
His lips find mine, hungry and desperate, and I kiss him back as my leg goes over his waist, winding around him as we lie facing each other. His hands go to my ass, bringing my hips where he wants them, until he suddenly shifts, forcing me to my back, as he comes down on top of me.
My hands go to his hair, and I breathe him in, soaking in every bit of it, telling myself we didn’t really have the best goodbye we could have had.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” I tell him against his lips, finally realizing this is not a good goodbye. It’s a terrible idea.
He groans into my mouth, ignoring my protests, since I’m sort of pushing his underwear down and contradicting my words as my hand wraps around the hardest part of his body and strokes. Strokes again.
He reaches down, practically ripping the flimsy panties off me, the second I feel him prodding my entrance, sanity and insanity war for dominance. His kisses move to my neck, rough and demanding as he touches all the erogenous zones he can.
“Just sleep,” I blurt out, and he stills against me, his hands still gripping my hips, his lips freezing against my neck.
He exhales heavily before saying, “Really thought you were about to say just the tip.”
The thing I love the most about him is his ability to defuse any situation with humor, and I start laughing as he grins against my neck before dropping to my side.
Our eyes meet; his arm stays around me. I remain on my back, while he props up on his side. Then there’s a little bit of awkwardness when his cock jumps a little, brushing my leg, since the underwear is still gone.
I arch an eyebrow, and he rolls his eyes.
“Ignore it. I am. It’s going to take a minute for him to get the memo and go down.”
Trying not to laugh, or get turned on, I just smile at him.
“If this is about you worrying you’re taking advantage, you should know that my sober self would punch my drunk self for missing the opportunity to have you,” he says, still joking around, doing all he can to suck the seriousness out of this for us.
Grateful for his incredible ability to do so, I play along, trying to do the same thing. “Make you wish you’d just asked for sex instead of friendship? No strings attached?”
A serious expression steals his features, and his eyes soften. “No. I’d give up sex as long as I get to keep you as a friend. I don’t want just your body. It’s not as much fun as having the rest of you.”
A shaky breath leaves my lips as tears cloud my eyes. In that moment, I hate life.
Because it’s a cruel, unfair bitch.
“You wouldn’t let me say it before you left,” he says quietly, and my stomach lurches.
“Maverick, do—”
“I’m doing all I can to deal with this fucked up situation, but I think it’s owed to me to get to say the words. That’s all I want. It’s not like it changes anything. I know that. You already know it, so hearing it isn’t going to be your downfall. I just deserve to say them aloud.”
Tears start leaking down my cheeks, and he brushes one away. “Okay,” I finally say.
“I love you,” he says softly, his lips brushing mine in the gentlest of touches. “I love you,” he says again. He kisses the side of my cheek, his lips moving over the tears. “I love you.”
It takes every ounce of strength I have not to scream or sob or tell him how much I love him back. It�
��s not fair that I’m even here. He’ll never move on if I keep acting like a girlfriend but not being a girlfriend.
Fortunately, he goes to sleep—passes out, rather—in the next two seconds. I laugh humorlessly when he starts to lightly snore, and I stare up at the ceiling.
If I don’t adopt some of my mother’s coldness for at least a little while, he’s never going to let me go. He’s never going to move on.
And it’s not fair to make him wait for a girl who isn’t free to tell him how much she loves him back.
Chapter 45
MAVERICK
@MavSterling: @SalemWithNoWitch I think you’re avoiding me. #JustTheTipWasTooMuch
@SalemWithNoWitch: @MavSterling Crazy busy week.
@MavSterling: @SalemWithNoWitch come out with us to Silk. #ProveWeRStillFriends
@SalemWithNoWitch: @MavSterling movie night with Sean. Sorry.
No teasing. No humor. No quick wit. Nothing but a straightforward answer. Per the recent usual.
She doesn’t respond to my texts unless it’s about Sean, so Twitter is my main source of communication with her. Especially since she’s conveniently been in the shower every day this past week when I dropped Sean off.
Apparently, we’re just going to pretend I didn’t tell her I love her. We’re also not going to broach the fact she couldn’t say it back.
And we’re going to pretend that she hasn’t avoided me for the past four days.
Because I got too drunk and pushed way too damn fast.
I spin the coaster on the table in front of me, wishing I’d just stayed at home instead of coming to Silk.
“I hate to say this, but at some point you just have to accept the fact that it’s over,” Dane says on a long sigh.
“Would you?” I ask around a snort of disbelief. “You waited years on Rain, whether or not you admit it.”
He glances around, eyes landing on Rain as she laughs and dances with Ruby.
“Fair enough,” he says on a harsh breath. “But, until you can figure something out, at least act like you’re still alive.”
A familiar face is suddenly joining us in the booth, and I inwardly groan when I see Leah smiling at me. Our new VIP bouncer needs to start doing his damn job, because she’s not VIP.