“I used to be. I don’t know who I am anymore.” Kendall took another drink, her hands steadier this time. “Even if I had stayed longer, it would have ended the same. Did you ever have a gut feeling so strong that you didn’t doubt it for an instant?”
Sam nodded.
“That’s how it was in New York. I knew in my heart that it wasn’t what I wanted. I could never be happy there, no matter how many times I wrote the word on my priority list.”
“What do you want?”
Kendall dragged her fingers through her hair. “That’s the million dollar question. The news director at the network asked me the same thing yesterday when I resigned. He looked at me like I was crazy and suggested I think about my decision for a few days.”
“And you told him . . . ?”
“That I didn’t want to waste any more of his time. I won’t change my mind, Sam.” Kendall bit her lip. “Do you think I’m crazy?”
“Stop it.” Sam pursed her lips. “Crazy isn’t part of your equation.”
“You sure about that? I’ve got no job, my condo’s sublet for the next six months.” Kendall counted her screw-ups on her fingers. “I ruined a relationship with the man I’m pretty sure was the love of my life. I guess things can only get better from here.”
“Let’s hope so.” A smile tugged at the corner of Sam’s mouth.
Kendall pushed out of the rocking chair and leaned against the front porch rail, stretching her hands out as if to catch some of the sun’s warmth. For someone who had avoided the outdoors as much as possible most of her life, now all she wanted was to soak up the sights and smells of nature. She needed the fresh air to remind her why she’d given up everything she’d ever worked for, everything she’d thought she always wanted.
“I want to belong,” she whispered, watching the light and shadow make patterns across her arms. “I want to be part of a community, to have a home.” She glanced over her shoulder. “How corny is that?”
Sam’s expression was unreadable. If Kendall was looking for unquestioning acceptance of her decision, this wasn’t the place to find it. “Why here?” Sam asked. “Is it because of Ty?”
Kendall turned back to the yard. “I hope so, but I don’t know if he’ll give me a second chance. I hurt him pretty badly. No matter what happens, I’m home. When I was working on the Silver Creek piece, I felt alive. The story’s impact on my career wasn’t as important as its impact on people who lived there. I made a difference for that community. Maybe New York City would have been as fulfilling, but I know now that it’s not where I am that makes me a damn good reporter. It’s who I am. I found my voice in Colorado, and this is where I want to use it.”
“Welcome back.” Sam pulled her in for a hug. “Let’s call Chloe and figure out how we’re going to clean up the royal mess you’ve made of your life.”
Kendall looked up. “Do you think I can?”
Sam shook her head in mock horror. “You’d better. I can’t have you mooching off me forever, babe. What if I find some stud I want to bring home? You’ll cramp my style.”
Kendall took a step back and let her eyes wander from Sam’s braided hair to her oversized sweatshirt and baggy cargo pants. Sam did her best to hide the million-dollar body under those frumpy clothes. “What style?”
Sam’s ice-blue eyes narrowed. “Real funny.” She gave Kendall a small shove toward the front door.
Ty placed the keys in Jenny’s outstretched hand. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you to get everyone settled?”
She gave him a look like he had a horn growing out of his forehead. “I’m sure.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets to keep from snatching back the key ring. “The guys don’t like working on Saturdays. They can be really pissy first thing in the morning.”
“Are you talking to someone here I can’t see?” Jenny glanced from side to side. “Because I’m the one who’s been overseeing weekend crews for six years. What is your problem?”
“It’s not that I doubt your competence,” he explained. “I’ve always been—that is—you’ve never been . . .”
He stopped, unsure of how to verbalize his thoughts.
“I’ve never been the real boss,” she finished for him, tossing her long red ponytail, clearly annoyed.
“You’ll be great,” he said quickly.
“Hell, yeah, I will.” She took a deep breath. “Ty, I love the business. Probably more than you do. I’ll take good care of the clients, the staff, everything.”
He nodded and mopped the back of his hand across his brow. The early morning air was pleasantly cool, but he was sweating as if it were summer in the Sahara. “I know.” He looked past Jenny. “What if I suck?”
She smiled gently. “You’ve never sucked at anything in your life. Owen wouldn’t have hired you if he didn’t think you could do the job.” Her voice held a hint of pride when she added, “He’s an excellent judge of people.”
“So you keep telling me. But what do I know about land management?”
She rolled her eyes. “For one thing, you’ve grown up around it your whole life. Osmosis has to count for something. And you’re a damn good biologist. You know more about the land in this state than anyone I’ve ever met.”
He flashed a sheepish grin. “Was it obvious I was fishing for a compliment?”
“I’m not blowing sunshine up your ass,” Jenny said with her usual candor.
He was going to miss working with her every day.
“Thanks, Jen.” He slapped his hand lightly against the truck’s ancient side. “Take care of my baby here. She’s almost as perfect as you.”
Jenny opened the door of the truck and winked. “Then we’ll be a great pair. You’d better haul ass. You don’t want to be late for your first day on the new job.”
He watched her drive away until the taillights turned the corner, then glanced at his watch. Shit. A crew of volunteers was scheduled to meet him near the San Isabel trailhead in forty-five minutes. He climbed into his truck and hit the gas hard.
When he finally reached the small mountain road that led to Silver Creek, he began to relax. Almost six weeks had passed since the GoldStar headlines had exploded in the local and national news. As expected, his father had barged into Ty’s office, breathing fire about how he was going to make his son’s life a living hell for dragging the family name through the mud.
It hadn’t mattered. Ty was long past the point where his father could hurt him, either emotionally or professionally. He knew he’d made the right decision in exposing GoldStar.
He’d felt more alive than he had in years.
And more alone.
When Owen had approached him about heading up an environmental group to buy parcels of wilderness area for conservation purposes, he’d jumped at the chance. Resurrecting his professional reputation and working with the land would allow him to reclaim the life he’d walked away from eight years ago.
The only thing missing was someone to share it.
Suddenly the air in the truck’s cab was stifling. He rolled down the window to let in the fresh scent of pine trees.
He’d checked voice mail a thousand times since he’d left Kendall that last message. But she hadn’t called back. Finally, he’d thrown the damn phone at the television, unable to stand watching her on the news bits that continued to replay the GoldStar scandal. Anger was easier to stomach than the pain of a broken heart.
It drove him crazy, but not a day went past that he didn’t think of Kendall. No doubt she was already firmly entrenched in big-city life. She probably hadn’t thought of him once after how he’d treated her, and he couldn’t blame her. He’d been a jerk, and, he realized too late, a total fool.
He’d thought about calling her again but never picked up the phone. What was the point? Their lives were going in different directions.
He turned the truck down the dirt road. Half a dozen cars were parked on either side. A small group huddled near the trailhead that led up the mountain. Most held shovels, rakes, or other tools.
After parking, he walked toward the group, shading his eyes from the sun’s harsh glare. “Good morning,” he called. The bright light made the crowd of faces blend together. “Thanks for giving up a Saturday to help with the clean up. I’m Ty Bishop from the Dalton Land Trust. The area we’ll be working on is about a mile and a half up the trail. Let’s start hiking. We’ll do introductions and talk about what needs to get done on the way.”
The group turned toward the mountain. Out of the corner of his eye, Ty caught a glimpse of golden brown hair and a green plaid shirt. His gut clenched and he felt as dizzy as if he was on the top of a high mountain peak. What was she doing here?
He started toward her, but a man he recognized from his earlier work with the Forest Service blocked his path. “Hey, Bill,” Ty said. “Nice to see you again.”
The man nodded. “You, too, Bishop. ’Bout time you came back to the woods. It’s where you belong.”
“Thanks.” Ty tried to keep his voice casual. “I left a few things in the back of the truck. Keep an eye on the group until I catch up, will you?”
Bill nodded again. “You bet.” He trotted to join the others.
Ty approached Kendall slowly—afraid she might disappear. His heart was about to beat out of his chest. It was several minutes before he could speak. “That’s my shirt,” he said, thinking about how lame he sounded.
Her smile was tentative, but to him it felt like the sun breaking through the clouds after a month of rain. “I thought you’d want it back.”
“You flew all the way from New York and tracked me down on a Saturday morning to return my shirt?”
She took a step closer. “No. I’m here because . . .”
The breeze kicked up and her clean perfume mingled with the scent of the pine trees. Suddenly this was too much. Seeing her, aching to reach out and touch her. The pain was too fresh, too real.
“It doesn’t matter,” he told her, pulling tools out of the truck’s rear bed. “Keep the shirt. I don’t have time for games.” She was beside him a moment later, reaching for a shovel. “Kendall, what the hell are you doing?”
“I’m here to volunteer. I talked to Owen yesterday. He told me about the work you were managing on the trail. I want to help.”
Less than twenty-four hours on the job and his new boss had sold him out. All the anger he’d felt when she left came flooding back. He looked over her shoulder, “Where’s the cameraman? Should I expect to see myself on the evening news?”
He tried to ignore the look of pain that flashed in her eyes.
“I’m not doing this for the publicity, Ty. I want to help.” She kicked the ground with the toe of one hiking boot. They looked new, but at least she was wearing sensible shoes today. “I’d also like to talk about us.”
Jesus, he had to get away from her. As much as he shared the blame for what had gone wrong between them, she’d left him behind. After the hell of these last few weeks, he couldn’t risk that heartache again. “You want to work, I’ll put you to work.” He stalked toward the trailhead. “But there is no us. Got me? This isn’t the shopping mall, Princess. I’ve got a lot to do and no time to worry about you chipping a nail.”
Rocks crunched as she jogged to keep up with him. “I can hold my own.”
He shot her a disbelieving look over his shoulder and saw her chin hitch up a notch. “Tell you what, you make it to the end of the day and then we’ll talk.”
“Fine,” she shot back, her voice breathless. He prayed the altitude would stop her if the prospect of a day of toiling in the dirt didn’t.
They continued up the trail in silence. He heard her curse under her breath when she tripped over a tree root. He didn’t turn around to help. For his own survival, he had to keep moving. He didn’t know what the hell she was doing here. He wasn’t sure his heart could afford to find out.
The way he saw it, nothing had changed. He was still the same guy, maybe with a slightly more illustrious title, but not fancy enough to meet Kendall’s requirements.
The group of volunteers waited near the small stream that ran alongside the trail. Ty should have expected Kendall to be recognized when introductions were made. Several people congratulated her on the Silver Creek story and her new job. He noticed she was vague when answering questions about what she was doing back in Colorado.
She’s here to drive me crazy, he wanted to shout. Instead, he gave a short introduction on the Dalton Land Trust, the regeneration efforts in this part of the forest, and what he hoped to accomplish today. After answering a few questions, he broke the group down into pairs of two and began assigning tasks.
He put Kendall with Bill and gave them the job of shoring up the sides of the creek bed near the trail and building a walkway across. Bill Mason was a no-nonsense retired marine. Ty had met him on one of the burn teams right after the big fire. Bill was hard working and not afraid to get dirty. He wouldn’t cut Kendall any slack.
Ty left to lead a group of college students into the burned-out forest. When he returned to the trail three hours later, he expected Bill to be working alone.
His mouth almost hit the ground. Kendall’s back was to him. As he watched, she drove a shovel into the embankment as Bill shouted instructions. Her jeans were wet up to her knees and her boots covered with mud. She’d tossed his flannel onto a dry rock and wore a thin white T-shirt that was splattered with flecks of dirt.
“Ty,” Bill called. “How’s it look?”
For the first time, Ty noticed the fallen log that spanned the width of the stream. The side facing up had been cut flat so hikers could walk across it. His gaze flicked to Kendall, who’d turned to watch him through narrowed eyes. Tendrils of damp hair clung to the sides of her face as she ran the back of one gloved hand across her forehead. Her brows rose in silent challenge.
“Looks great, Bill. If you’re almost done, the crew could use some help shifting the fallen trunk over the top of the rise. I’m taking a group with me to check out the conditions about a mile deeper in.” He smiled at Kendall. “If you’d like to take a break, feel free. I know this isn’t your usual work.”
She opened her mouth to respond, but Bill shouted, “No way, man. Kendall’s with me. I haven’t seen anyone work so hard since I was in boot camp.”
She flashed Bill a brilliantly sincere smile.
“Lead on, my captain.” She grinned then saluted. Ty felt like he’d taken a hard right to the jaw.
For the first time, he admitted that he wanted to see her smile like that at him again, real or not. Maybe he should have talked to her earlier. She could have said her piece and been gone. Now he was stuck until the work was through.
“Fine, but don’t go near the edge, Kendall. The ground is rocky up there and can shift at a moment’s notice. Bill, keep an eye on her.” He ignored the look she gave him and stalked away, pissed that he’d acted like he cared. He told himself it was because she was so inexperienced and for today, he was responsible for her. Nothing more.
Yeah, right.
Around noon, the group headed back down the trail. Ty unloaded a cooler full of sandwiches, chips, and water from the back of his truck. He skipped lunch, preferring to keep moving, keep busy, and keep away from the woman who made him feel like he was losing his mind. For the rest of the day, he stayed as far away as possible, if for no other reason than to preserve his sanity.
The sun had almost dipped behind the mountain when he brought his crew back toward the trailhead. He hoped Kendall had given up and
gone home already. She had no right to come here in the first place, making him feel so out of control again.
He rounded a bend when one of the volunteers from the other group almost knocked him over as he barreled up the trail. Ty’s first aid kit was clutched in his arms.
He grabbed the man before he could pass. “What happened?”
The volunteer pulled away. “I gotta get this up there,” he panted. “Could be bad . . . I don’t know . . . Kendall needs help.”
Ty wasn’t sure if the guy said anything more because something roared to life inside him, blocking out any other sound. He ripped the first aid kit from the volunteer’s hands and raced up the mountain.
The anger he’d felt moments earlier disappeared as quickly as acres of underbrush consumed in a wildfire.
Three words filled his mind. Kendall. Needs. Help.
He tripped over a rock jutting out from the ground, cursing as he scrambled up again.
His lungs burned as he came to the top of the hill. The second crew stood in a group near the edge of a small cliff. Christ, what if she’d gone over? It wasn’t a big drop but she could easily break a bone in the fall.
He shoved past volunteers as he pushed to the front of the small crowd. He caught sight of her bent over the ground a few feet back from the edge and fell to his knees beside her.
“What the hell were you thinking?” he yelled. “I told you to be careful. Why couldn’t you stay away?”
He moved his shaking hands along the length of her body, wanting so badly to pull her against his chest and bury his face in her hair. Since he didn’t know the extent of her injuries, he couldn’t risk hurting her.
“Ty, what are you doing?” She gripped his hands when they moved to her hips. She sat back, looking at him like he had two heads.
Only then did he notice Bill lying on his back in front of her, his head propped on a balled-up jacket and a bloody T-shirt wrapped around his thigh.
The older man gave him a tight smile. “You wanna feel me up for injuries, too?”
Ty’s mind reeled.
Kissing Mr. Right Page 23