by Marin Thomas
Okay? What the hell was happening? Why wasn’t he upset—or at the very least telling her she’d hurt his feelings? She didn’t know how to fight like this. “I’ve never been good at trusting men . . .”
He glanced up at her.
She tapped her chest with her fist. “With my heart.”
“I figured that.” He sifted through the tools.
“Would you stop!”
“Stop what?”
“Acting like what I’m telling you is no big deal.” She kicked a pebble in the dirt and sent it flying over the roof of the truck. “Damn it, Joe. You scare me.”
He got to his feet. “I know being with me worries you. I’m worried, too.”
“You are?”
He slipped a finger beneath her pink bra strap and pushed it back under her shirt. “I buried the pain of losing Aaron so deep inside me that I couldn’t feel it anymore. But watching you and Mia work through your problems reminded me of the joy my son brought to my life. I want to feel that joy again, but I don’t want the pain that comes with it.”
“My history with men doesn’t make me a sure bet.” She snorted. “And it’s not enough that serious relationships scare me, but now I have to accept the fact that I’m genetically predisposed to being a whore.”
Joe’s eyes widened, and then he busted up.
“It’s not funny.” When he wouldn’t stop laughing, she yanked the front of his T-shirt. “If my biological mother couldn’t settle down with one man, then the future doesn’t bode well for me.”
His smile faded. “You’re not your mother, Ruby. You’re you.”
“That’s what I’m trying to make you understand. Me isn’t such a hot deal, and you deserve a woman who’s not afraid to love you.”
“Then don’t be afraid.”
“Damn it, Joe. I’m trying to do what’s best for you.”
“You’re what’s best for me.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Give us a chance, Ruby. Let’s see if together we can move on with our lives and find something better with each other.”
She wanted Joe. Wanted to prove to Mia that she was capable of being in a committed relationship. “I don’t want to fail you.” Or Mia and Hank.
“You won’t fail this time.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Because this time it’s with me.” He pulled her close, and she buried her face in his neck. He smelled of cheap laundry detergent, and—God help her—he smelled like forever.
“When you smile at me,” he said, “I can almost believe Aaron wouldn’t want me to keep punishing myself.”
Ruby’s heart hurt for Joe. She thought of Cora and all the men she’d slept with and how none of them had made her happy—not even Hank, who truly loved her. Ruby didn’t want that life for herself.
Joe pressed a kiss to her mouth. “Let me be there for you and Mia.”
She closed her eyes, drew in a deep breath, and held it in her lungs. She was strong—stronger than she’d been just weeks ago when she’d stepped off the bus in Unforgiven. If and when—because there would be ifs and whens—she began to doubt herself, Hank and Mia would keep her on the straight and narrow.
“Okay.” She exhaled and opened her eyes. “Let’s do this.” Then she rose on tiptoe and kissed him, gifting him with her heart and her trust. She took his hand and led him to the house, where they entered the back porch and tumbled onto the mattress.
No words were spoken. The only thing left to do now was just love each other.
• • •
“Who’s that?” Mia pointed to the BMW parked in front of the house as Ruby drove into the yard late Thursday morning.
“I don’t know.” She stopped the truck next to the car. She and Mia had taken a quick trip to Lonny’s Icehouse five miles down the road to buy Hank his favorite ice cream—boring vanilla. She glanced at the barn. Joe’s pickup was missing.
“I’m gonna put the horses in the corral.”
“I’ll come out and help you after I take the ice cream inside.”
“That’s okay. I can do it by myself.” Mia skipped off toward the barn.
“Hank?” Ruby called out when she entered the house.
“In here.”
She stowed the ice cream in the freezer, then went into the parlor. Hank sat on the piano bench, staring at his boots while a distinguished-looking man wearing a tan suit stood in front of the window. The gentleman’s gray hair was neatly trimmed, and his expensive cologne overpowered the furniture’s musty odor.
Hank looked at her with bloodshot eyes, and Ruby’s stomach dropped. “What happened?”
“This is Charles Walker.” Hank’s finger shook when he pointed to the visitor. “Charles, my daughter, Ruby.”
The lawyer offered his hand along with a strained smile. “Pleasure to meet you, Ruby.”
Her heart beat faster. There were only two reasons Mr. Walker would pay Hank a visit in person—he had news about the oil lease or the investigator had located Cora. Ruby sat next to Hank on the bench and grasped his hand.
Charles cleared his throat. “The PI I hired to look into Cora’s whereabouts—”
“Is she alive?” Ruby interrupted. She hadn’t realized how badly she needed Cora not to be dead—for Hank. And maybe a little bit for herself, too.
“Cora’s alive.”
Ruby breathed deeply through her nose until her light-headedness disappeared. “Where is she?”
“Amarillo.”
Where she’d told Big Dan she was headed when she’d stopped in town all those years ago. “How long has she been there?” Ruby asked.
“Approximately twenty years.”
All this time Cora had lived a little more than a hundred miles down the road from Hank. “This is good news, right?” Hank wouldn’t make eye contact with her.
“Cora was admitted to a convalescent home nine months ago,” Charles said.
“What else did you learn about her?”
“I’m not a relative, so the home wouldn’t give out any information on her condition.” Charles removed a piece of paper from his suit pocket and handed it to Hank. “The address and phone number of the nursing home. I informed the manager that you might call to inquire about Cora.”
Charles checked his watch. “I’m meeting with the Petro Oil executives in two weeks. I’ll be in touch about your lease.”
“I’ll see you out.” Ruby followed the lawyer onto the front porch, closing the door behind her. “The nursing staff wouldn’t tell you anything about Cora’s health or state of mind?”
Charles shook his head. “They mentioned that she hasn’t had any visitors since she’s been there.”
“Thank you for your help.” Ruby waited until the BMW was out of sight before returning to the parlor. Hank hadn’t budged from the piano bench. “If you want to see Cora, I’ll go with you. We can leave right now.”
“I’ll pack a bag.” He was halfway up the stairs before the words registered in Ruby’s head. She retreated to the porch and threw a few changes of clothes into a duffel bag, then went out to the corral, where Mia had just turned Poke loose. She spotted Joe’s pickup barreling toward the barn. After he parked, he joined them at the corral.
“You’re spoiling Poke,” he said.
“I know.” Mia laughed. “But he’s sooo cute!”
Joe’s gaze swung to Ruby, and his brown eyes grew darker. It had been like that between them since they’d made love—their touches were hotter, their looks deeper, their words softer. “How was your morning?” he asked.
“Hank’s lawyer was just here. They found Cora.”
Mia walked closer. “He found my grandma?”
“Cora’s in a nursing home in Amarillo, Texas.”
“I can drive Hank down there to see her,” Joe offered.
“I want to go, too,” Mia said.
Ruby would love for Mia to meet her grandmother, but there was no predicting Hank’s reaction when he laid eyes on the love of his life for the first time in thirty-one years. What if he lost it? Or what if Cora refused to speak to him? Or worse, what if she didn’t remember Hank anymore? Ruby wasn’t even sure how she’d react when she came face-to-face with her biological mother.
“Maybe next time, honey.”
“Take my truck,” Joe said.
“Thanks.” Hank would have a real heart attack if his old jalopy broke down before they arrived in Amarillo. “I’ll call when we get there.”
“Are you gonna bring her home?” Mia asked.
Home. The sick feeling Ruby usually got in her gut when Mia called the Devil’s Wind home didn’t materialize. She’d finally acknowledged what Mia had seen all along—that the ranch was a safe haven for both of them. “I’ll let you know our plans after we see her.” Hank would insist on bringing Cora back to the ranch. Ruby didn’t like the idea of having to take care of the woman, but she’d do it for Hank.
“We’ll be fine,” Joe said.
When Ruby rested her head against his chest, he wrapped his arms around her and she thought how fortunate she was to have him to lean on.
“I’m glad you guys made up.”
“Me too.” She released Joe, then kissed Mia’s sweaty head. “Stay out of trouble.”
“I’m gonna say goodbye to Grandpa.”
Left alone with Joe, Ruby said, “Will you sleep on the porch while we’re gone? I don’t want Mia alone in the house at night.”
He rubbed the pad of his thumb across her forehead. “Stop frowning. Everything will be okay.” He left her to get his truck, and Ruby walked to the front yard.
As soon as Hank stepped outside with his overnight bag, Ruby said, “I’ll be right back.” Then she went into the house and retrieved Hank’s heart pills from the kitchen cabinet. There was no way to predict how he’d react to seeing Cora, and she wanted to be prepared just in case.
“Buckle up,” Ruby said when she got behind the wheel. She waved to Mia and Joe as they drove off.
“Gun it,” Hank said when they reached the highway. “I’ll pay for the speeding ticket if you get pulled over.”
She pressed the accelerator until the needle on the speedometer hovered at eighty. Hank slouched in his seat and pulled his hat over his face, leaving Ruby alone with her thoughts and a hundred miles of asphalt.
Chapter 34
Ruby decreased her speed on the outskirts of Amarillo. The two-hour drive had taken an hour and twenty minutes. She’d been lucky the highway patrol hadn’t pulled her over. Hank had had little to say during the trip. He’d spent most of the time staring at the notepaper clutched between his fingers.
She passed him her cell phone. “Turn on the GPS and type in the address of the convalescent home.”
His finger hovered over the screen, his mouth puckering like a raisin.
“Never mind,” she said. A half mile later she pulled into a gas station and parked in front of the convenience store. With a few taps of her finger, she opened the GPS and typed in the address.
“You want anything to drink?” Hank asked.
“A diet cola would be nice, thanks.” Ruby watched him through the windshield, his shoulders hunched, shoes barely clearing the ground. She worried that this visit would take a huge toll, both physically and emotionally, on his heart. She could only hope that Cora had a kind word for him after all the heartache she’d caused.
“The place isn’t far from here,” Ruby said when he returned with their drinks. She left the gas station and merged onto the main road. After three traffic lights and two right turns, they arrived at the Angel of Mercy Care Center.
The one-story brick facility looked every bit as worn and tired as Hank. The landscape was overrun with weeds, and only a few stubborn blooms clung to the daisy bushes. Narrow prison-style windows ran the length of the patient wings. Only a handful of vehicles sat in the lot—probably the nurses and aides who worked in the home.
Ruby parked by the front doors, where an angel statue, leaning precariously to one side, guarded the entrance. Dirt filled the cracks in the cherub’s face, and a chunk of plaster was missing from her left wing. A lifetime of guarding departing souls had beaten her down and she begged to be relieved of her duties.
The strong odor of urine welcomed them inside the facility. A crowd of wheelchairs sat parked before a big-screen TV. The residents stared in trancelike states, their gazes attached to various objects in the room—a fish tank, an oil painting of a Victorian woman, a matted teddy bear left on a chair, a wastepaper basket filled with plastic drink cups.
“Do you see her?” she asked.
Hank shook his head. “But my eyes aren’t what they used to be.”
A nurse in a blue blouse, white slacks, and a gray sweater walked into the room and noticed them. “Hello. I hope you haven’t been waiting long. Our maintenance man is on vacation, and the alarm on the door won’t be fixed until he returns.” She offered Hank her hand. “I’m Janelle. I assume you’d like to tour the facility.”
Hank stiffened, and Ruby jumped to his defense. “We’re here to visit Cora Johnson.”
“The name doesn’t sound familiar.”
They accompanied Janelle to the nurse’s station on the other side of the room. While she flipped through the patient register, Ruby peeked into the dining hall. An elderly resident in a hospital gown and bib sat alone at a table, a tray of untouched food in front of him. It was three in the afternoon. If the man hadn’t eaten by now, he didn’t want to.
Cold fingers clutched Ruby’s arm, and she jumped inside her skin. A woman with desperate eyes stared at her.
“Take me home.” Her rank breath hit Ruby in the face, and she stepped back.
“What’s your name?”
“I don’t belong here.”
“Margaret!” A nurse marched toward them. “You should be in your room, resting.”
“I don’t want to be here,” Margaret whined.
“This is your home now.” The nurse escorted the woman away.
Ruby returned to the station and spoke to Janelle. “Does Margaret ask to go home all the time?”
“She’s new here. She’ll settle down soon.”
“She seems to have all of her faculties. How did she end up in here?” Ruby asked.
“Her son moved to Florida, and he and his wife decided not to take her with them. They sold her house and brought her here.”
No matter how bad off Hank got, Ruby would never put him in a home. A few weeks ago she’d been determined to give him a piece of her mind and then head to Kansas. Now, as she stared at the haggard face that had won her forgiveness and a piece of her heart, she couldn’t imagine her and Mia not being with him for however many days he had left on earth.
Janelle glanced up from the register. “I can’t find Cora’s name in our records. Is it possible she’s in a different facility?”
“I don’t think so,” Ruby said. Unless the private investigator had gotten the name of the convalescent home wrong.
“How are you related to Cora?”
“She’s my birth mother,” Ruby said.
Janelle picked up a walkie-talkie. “Heather, will you please come to the front desk?”
A few minutes later a second nurse joined them. “These folks are looking for Cora Johnson. I don’t see her listed in the book.”
“They moved Cora to the hospice wing three days ago.”
Hospice?
Hank swayed, and Ruby clutched his arm. “Can we see her?”
“I’ll take you to her room,” Heather said. They walked through a second set of doors and down a hallway. “I wasn’t aware that Cora had any relatives.”
“How did she end up h
ere?” Ruby asked.
“Her landlord found her passed out in front of her apartment. He called 911.”
They moved aside when two men wearing scrubs pushed a gurney around the corner and headed in their direction. Hank stiffened as the sheet-covered body passed by.
“That’s not Cora,” Heather said. “Her room is this way.” They continued down the corridor. “Cora suffered a stroke. The hospital did all they could for her, but because no next of kin were ever located, she was released into the state’s care and transferred here.”
“When did her health take a turn for the worse?” Ruby asked.
“She stopped eating five days ago. We’re giving her IV fluids and making her as comfortable as possible.” Heather stopped outside room seven. “I’m afraid her pneumonia isn’t improving, but she’s a fighter.” The nurse offered a sympathetic smile, then left them in the hallway.
Ruby closed her eyes and thought back to the afternoon she’d opened the envelope from Hank’s lawyer and learned she’d been adopted. No way could she have predicted that a few months later she’d be visiting her birth mother on her deathbed.
• • •
Hank looked scared. And too damn old.
What if, after seeing Cora, he stopped caring if he lived? They’d been robbed of a lifetime together, and the thought of Hank choosing to go with Cora and leave her and Mia behind was too painful to consider. Cora had already destroyed Ruby’s relationship with Glen Baxter. Couldn’t she leave Ruby’s other father alone?
“I’ll stay here if you want privacy,” Ruby said.
“We’ll go together.” Hank grabbed her hand, and Ruby clutched it tight. He might not have said the words, but he needed her, and no matter her feelings for Cora, Ruby would help Hank through whatever awaited him inside the room.
“Ready?” With a gentle nudge, she urged Hank through the doorway.
A single bed sat behind a partially drawn curtain that concealed the upper half of Cora’s body. A beige blanket covered her from the waist down.
Hank scuffled across the floor, his gait uneven. Ruby hoped it was his bad hip giving him trouble and not the pacemaker ticking out of whack. He removed his cowboy hat and placed it over his heart. Ruby waited by the doorway, allowing him a private moment with the woman who’d held his heart prisoner for a lifetime.