by Jojo Brown
With my head resting on his shoulder, my hand found his denim-encased upper-thigh again, “I know.”
Holding me securely against him, he lovingly kissed the top of my head, breathing in the fruity scent of my shampoo. “I don’t want to push you, but… do you know what it is that is going to happen today? Do you have any idea what this is all actually about?”
“I am pretty sure I do. It’s just a feeling, really, but I somehow know that I must not discuss it… especially with you.” I sat straight to be able to look directly in his eyes, “Please don’t be upset by that… I love you, more than I can say. I would give anything to be able to just walk away from all of this, right now and simply disappear into the sunset with you. My life had no meaning until I met you, until I found out that you loved me, now it is as if I am starting a whole new life, with you by my side.”
Slowly caressing his face, I pleaded with my eyes for him to trust me. “There will be things today that you may not understand, things may happen that will frighten you, but I need you to trust me. Believe in my love for you. Know with absolute certainty that my love for you is true. Hold onto that; believe it with every ounce of your being. Believe in me, Chris, that’s all I ask. Can you promise me that?”
He had been so quiet, so still, I was almost afraid that he had lost his nerve. I half expected him to bolt for the door, so sure was I that my words had been too much for him. I sat there watching, for what seemed an eternity. As I watched, every emotion from fear to unbelievable joy crossed his face.
When I thought that I could not stand one more moment of anticipation, he leaned into me and warmed my lips with his own. His hand snaked around the back of my neck, pressing me to him, deepening the kiss with an unexpected urgency. My own heartbeat thrummed so loudly in my ears, I was certain it echoed throughout the restaurant.
I realized that I had been holding my breath, every muscle in my body had been tensed, nerves stretched to near breaking point. The feeling of his arms around me, his hand on the back of my neck, his mouth and tongue speaking to my soul, all worked together to release me. I returned his urgency with my own, at the same time, melting into his embrace.
“I love you.” His words washed over me, cleansing me of any last lingering doubts I may have been holding onto. I knew, with all certainty, that we would be fine. As long as we could hold on to that love, nothing could harm us. Not even, them.
Thirty-four
It was 3pm, when I found myself standing in the blowing snow, clutching Chris’ arm. We must have looked a real sight, the five of us lined up on the sidewalk, staring at the high school. Chris and I had arrived just a few minutes before the rest of them. None of us spoke a word to each other. We had simply gathered there at the edge of the sidewalk, in silence.
Adam was standing beside me, shivering, with Dad on the other side of him. Aunt Rachel had her feet firmly planted on the far side of Chris. It was as if we were preparing ourselves for a fight. All that was missing were the side arms and we could have been a part of the showdown at O-K Corral.
Adam was the one who broke the silent anticipation, on a sigh, “Well, what happens now? Are we supposed to just stand out here in the snow, freezing our arses off? Or, is someone gonna make a move?”
I tentatively reached out to take his hand in my own, “It’s okay, Adam. Just give me a second to gather my nerve. Try to hold yourself together; I need you to be strong for me.
“You and Dad, Aunt Rachel and Chris are my anchors; my life-lines. I need to know that you are here to love and support me… no matter what happens.
“All I need from you—all of you—is your love and positive thoughts. I do not know how, but I know that your love is what will get me through this day. And… I need you to promise to try to not interfere, no matter what happens, no matter how much you think you should help. This is for me to take care of, it is up to me to see this through to the end. Can you all promise that?”
“Ella, you sound like you know what is going to happen here today,” Dad’s voice was a mixture of shock and concern.
Stepping around Adam, I hugged my father, pressing my cheek into his snowy shoulder. “I have a pretty good idea, Dad. Just trust me, okay?”
“Of course.”
A clanking sound behind me drew my attention. Spinning around, I was shocked to find the source of the noise. Mr. Davidson, the ancient school janitor, had thrown the door open, causing the locking chain to rattle against the metal of the green door.
“What y’all doin’ here?” he called out to us. “There ain’t nobody here sides me!”
I slowly made my way along the walk, to stand before him with my hand on the door. The world seemed to come to a standstill. The only sound came from the snow crunching and squeaking under my boots. The oppressive stillness was made even clearer when Mr. Davidson looked to the sky, no birds or breeze visible.
“Hi Mr. Davidson!” I laid the charm on. “I just need to check something in the library, real quick.”
“NO WAY! I ain’t allowed to let nobody in here, less they’s a teacher. Got too much trouble already with them young uns. Now I has to put up with you’s adults comin’ round here, too?”
“But, Mr. Davidson, I promise that I won’t cause any trouble for you…” I tried to reason with him.
“I already done give you my answer! Now git yer hand offa my door, I have work to do.”
He tried to pull the door closed, but I kept my grip on it, forcing him to pull it towards him with both hands. He was surprisingly strong, for an old man.
“Ella,” Aunt Rachel spoke from just behind me, “It’s ten past three dear. You are nearly out of time.”
Yanking the door fully open, pulling it from the old man’s grip, I tried one more time to make him see sense. “Mr. Davidson, I really have to get into the library.”
“You’ll have to go through me then, missy.”
I could feel the panic starting to build in me. I had to get to the library as quickly as I could, and this greasy little man was barring my way. The feeling suddenly came over me that he was nothing more than an irritating insect, something to crush and forget.
I raised my hand to his cheek, instead of slapping him sharply, part of my brain screamed for me to do just that, I simply held my hand there.
“Mr. Davidson, you will get out of my way, now. I have business to take of in the library and you will not try to stop me again.”
My hand slid down his cheek, as he sidestepped into the snow just outside the school. As I stepped into the warmth of the building, I heard the sounds of a scuffle behind me. Mr. Davidson had tried to re-affirm his objection as soon as my fingertips lost contact with his crepe-paper skin. He lunged forward and tried to grab me. In a lightening fast move, both Chris and Adam had tackled him to the ground.
I turned briefly to see Aunt Rachel stepping over the jumble of humanity, joining me in the hallway. “Come on, Ella, you have about a minute left. Let’s go!” she nearly screamed as she turned me on my heel.
I found out later that under my father’s direction, Chris and Adam had bound Mr. Davidson with an extension cord from his janitor cart and left him in the utility shed. I felt bad that it had to go down that way, but at the same time, I am sure that it was the best thing to do. After all, it kept him relatively safe and ensured that he would not be able to contact anyone to disturb us.
I ran as fast as I could through the halls of the school, slipping on the shiny tiled floor, as I turned corners. The snow melting from the soles of my boots made traction nearly impossible. At one point, as I bashed into the wall and fell to my hands and knees, a burning pain surged through my limbs. Aunt Rachel had gone to the floor with me.
As I scrambled to my feet to sprint the last ten or twenty feet to the library doors, she stayed crumpled on the floor. I heard her yelling, “Go, Ella. Go! You are the one that has to be in there, don’t worry about the rest of us. JUST GO!”
As her final words hit my ears, I burst throu
gh the double doors and skidded to a halt in the center of the beautiful old library. It was just the way I remembered it.
Towering shelves filled with books covered the walls from the floor all the way up to the vaulted ceiling, at least twenty feet above. Rolling steps waited around the room to be used to reach the higher books. At the halfway point up the wall, a walkway, with rolling ladder attached to a track.
Dark leather chairs gathered around rich mahogany tables, topped with brass reading lamps, scattered throughout the room. This space invited you to curl up with a book and lose yourself for a few hours. I had always wondered whether or not all of those thousands of books had ever actually been read.
I stood perfectly still, in the exact center of the room. Both of my feet planted on the mosaic star, marking the center of the floor. I tried to catch my breath. I felt so warm, maybe from the exertion of running, maybe from fear.
I tore my hat and scarf off, threw them to the floor with my gloves. My fingers fumbled with the zipper, holding me trapped within the down-filled prison of my warm jacket. With a final jerk, it added to the pile at my feet.
Sweat trickled between my breasts and along my spine. Every stitch of clothing on my body added to my discomfort. Within moments, every article I had put on that morning lay strewn about my naked form. I stood there, unprotected and unashamed, holding the amulet in my right hand.
Raising my arms above my head, I looked to the vaulted ceiling and cried out, “I am here! I stand before you, just as I was at my birth! I am hiding nothing. This is the time that you chose, the place of your choosing! The moment is now! Make yourself known!”
Thirty-five
It started as a low rumble and a pinpoint of light at the pinnacle of the ceiling. As the brilliant white light grew, so did the rumbling. The walls around me, and the floor beneath my bare feet began to vibrate. I stood, as if frozen in time and space, while books fell from their places on the shelves.
I held myself as a statue, the only visible sign of life in my chest, as it rose and fell in time with my breaths. I did not move, as the beam of light fell upon my glistening skin, I simply closed my eyes against the brilliance of it. I felt the warmth of the light encircle me. It moved over my flesh, as thousands of tiny hands, reaching out to touch me.
I felt no fear, no apprehension. I felt only the warmth and a sense of security.
As the deafening rumble filled my ears, I felt the floor lose contact with the soles of my feet. Without looking, I knew that it had not fallen away; rather, I was floating above its undulating firmness.
Whatever it was that was causing the extreme noise, it was also tearing the building around me down to its foundation. I could hear the bricks crashing against each other, the glass of the windows exploding and shattering. I heard the snapping as electrical wires tore free from their panels; water and natural gas pipes twisted and bent, finally letting go with metallic screams.
I knew, with uncanny clarity that the school, which had been built around this octagon, was no more.
At the same time, I knew that my loved ones were safe and unharmed. I could feel their fear, but I knew that no harm would come to them. I would not allow it.
As the final sounds of the dying school faded, a new sound filled my ears. A soft, low humming, much like the sound a hummingbird makes, flitting between flowers.
Softly, my feet came back into contact with the floor. As I shifted my weight to gain my balance, I lowered my arms to my sides and opened my eyes. At first, I could see nothing more than whiteness. It was unlike any light I had ever seen before. It was an absolutely pure white light.
The only thing that I can compare it to would be bright winter sunshine glaring off freshly fallen snow. There was an almost crystal-like quality to the air around me. Although it was not painful, it felt as though I was blind… in reverse. Instead of seeing nothing but blackness, I saw nothing but whiteness.
I felt someone take my hand and slowly turned to my left. There she was… Amy was once again holding my left hand. She stepped around to stand directly in front of me and reached out to hold my right hand as well.
We stood there, as we had been in the womb, holding tightly to each other, sharing the burden of the amulet… alone within a world of warmth and light.
“You are not scared, are you?” she asked, just above a whisper.
“No… at least not for myself.”
“All right, then it’s time.”
Once again, I felt my feet lift away from the firmness of the floor, as Amy and I began to slowly spin. As we built up speed, I was unsure as to whether we were going up or down. In fact, I am sure that at one point we were actually upside down. My gaze never left her face; our eyes were locked in a trancelike stare. My instincts told me that as long as she and I stayed together, everything would be all right.
When we were spinning at unbelievable velocity, Amy told me to let go of the amulet. “Just let it go, Ella. Open your hand and let it fly free. Do it now, Ella! This is their moment and they need the power of the star twins. Give them the power. Open your hand!”
I felt the excitement and anticipation flowing from her, as my fingers uncurled, allowing the foundation of my quest to thrust itself from my grasp. It flew to the center of the vortex, in which we were suspended. Hanging before our eyes briefly, it spun of its own accord, in the opposite direction.
With jarring abruptness, Amy and I stopped spinning. As we fell to the ground, some distance below, the amulet continued its spinning assent, becoming one with the source of light, far above the library ceiling.
As our bodies made surprisingly gentle contact with the floor, there was an explosion of light far above us. The air came alive, with swirling movement. Amy and I were no longer alone. We now shared the space with literally thousands of pastel-colored spheres.
They swept around us randomly. Some of them brushed against us as they took part in an excited dance, throughout the room. As I watched these unusual bubbles, I realized that I was no longer blinded. I could clearly see the floor beneath me, as well as the walls around me.
It came as somewhat of a shock, when I realized that I was as far removed from the dusty old library as one can possibly be. The towering bookcases had been replaced with translucent walls that rippled with a rainbow of colors. Beyond these walls, I caught occasional glimpses of what appeared to be rooms.
The floor upon which I now stood looked to be the same strange material. It reminded me of the oily film that you see on the surface of puddles in the summer, especially in parking lots and around garages. I could see through the floor, to where the library basement should have been. There was no basement though.
The filmy walls continued down into the core of the earth, for as far as I could see. As I stood transfixed by the sight, lights came on within the depths. Level by level, the squared circles illuminated, including, but not stopping at, the level on which I stood. For miles below and above me, well-lit rooms surrounded me.
Standing in the center of this strange, new room, I began to examine the rooms on my level, closer. The one directly in front of me, at first appeared to be empty. As I stood there looking, I realized that I was looking at a vast field of yellow flowers. Somewhere near the center of that field, I saw what at first, I had mistaken for a rock.
Turning to face me, Amy remained seated among the flowers, but raised a hand in greeting. She had a crown of flowers in her hair and a bouquet of them in her hand. When had she left my side? I hadn’t even noticed that she was no longer holding my hand.
The look on her face was one of absolute joy. That was not the first time I had seen her in that field of flowers. I found myself thinking that it must be her happy place. I lifted my own hand to wave back at her and jumped to see my arm encased in a flowing white material. It was very much like the material that I remembered the ‘Lady in White’ wearing at the institute.
Looking down, I found that somehow, without my knowledge, I had been dressed in a long flo
wing white gown. The bodice hugged my breasts and ribcage snugly before filling out to become the full skirt, the hem of which swept the floor softly as I moved my feet.
The sleeves were tight at the shoulder, opening into wide sweeping, cascading folds. When I held my arms out at right angles to my body, I almost appeared to have wings. Rubbing my hands delicately down my stomach, the material felt as soft as down. It was so light; I could not feel any weight against my skin.
To anyone who might be listening, and to no one in particular, I cried out, “Am I dead? Is this heaven? Are these my angel wings?”
“No, you silly widget,” a familiar voice answered from my right. From behind her near-invisible wall, Nanny stood looking at me. She had her favorite apron on, over her own white gown. With a rolling pin in one hand, she stood leaning against a well-used trestle table.
I fell to my knees at the all-too-familiar sight of her. “How is this possible?” I cried. “Nanny, you are dead… I was there when you passed away. I watched them lower you into the ground. How can you be here? How can I see you if I’m not dead, too?”
“You watched them lower my outer casing into the ground, my dear. That was just some old skin and bones, a bag to carry me around in. That wasn’t the real me. What a sad world it would be, if that were all we are.
“Nothing more than dust and water held together by some leather. I was so tired of being held inside that case, it was worn out, old and broken. I was so happy when I finally broke free of it, to soar once again among the stars.” She turned back to her pies.
I was so confused, and I was sick of being confused. I wanted answers, not more questions. “You are not making any sense! If the way I saw you was nothing more than a case, then why do I still see you the same way now? Why are you standing there, in your favorite apron, making pies?
Jumping to my feet, as her wall closed over with the oily film again, I spread my arms wide and turned my face to the light-source far above me, “Damn it, I want to know what this is all about! Enough of these foolish games and riddles. Where am I? Where are you? What happened to the library? Where is my family? Give me answers!”