“I’ll call him tomorrow.”
“I’ll keep my lips sealed. He’ll have two surprises tomorrow. I’m taking him car shopping.”
“That’ll be exciting. Buy him something safe, like a minivan.”
“Good idea,” she said, laughing. “I’ll let him know it was your recommendation. Brent, I’m so happy you’re moving back.”
“Me too. We’ll talk soon.”
Her emotions were scrambled. Happy. Frightened. Unfinished business? She felt it, too. He was a part of her—carved in her soul. She wanted things to be different, but the privilege to love wasn’t possible. Not for them.
“Oh no. What happened?” said Shade, when they returned from car shopping to find the kitchen floor covered in vomit. Tyler searched the house and found Scone lying under his bed.
“Scone, what’s wrong, buddy?” asked Tyler, pulling him out.
Scone tried standing but couldn’t steady himself. He’d been lethargic lately and his appetite had dwindled.
“Grandma. Scone doesn’t look well. Maybe we should go to the vet.”
Tyler carried him to the car and laid him in the back seat. He slid in next to him, stroking his head, while Shade drove.
“I’m sorry to tell you this, but Scone has bone cancer,” said the vet. “He probably has a month left. He will get worse. And he’ll be in a lot of pain. When you notice things progressing, I suggest you bring him in so we can put him to sleep.”
What should have been a blissful day in Tyler’s life turned dark. Shade and Tyler were silent on the drive home. When they arrived at the cottage, Tyler gathered Scone in his arms and carried him up the steps.
“Grandma, I want to keep him home as long as we can, but I don’t want him to suffer.”
“I know, honey,” said Shade. “Let’s see how he does in the next few days.”
The following morning, Shade found Tyler asleep on the bedroom floor, his arm slung over Scone. Scone lay still, at peace in his master’s presence. When Tyler got up, Scone remained on the floor, his head lifting slightly, his eyes tracking Tyler’s movements. Tyler bent down and nuzzled his face in Scone’s neck. Scone didn’t move.
Tyler looked at Shade, his face etched with sorrow. “Grandma, I think it’s time,” he said, wiping his eyes.
Tyler called Leah and the three of them drove to the vet, Tyler and Leah in the backseat cradling Scone. Once inside the veterinarian’s office, they were taken to a room. The attendant placed Scone atop a table. He barely moved. They gathered around as Tyler ran his fingers through Scone’s soft fur, lifting his floppy ear in his hands, feeling the weight. Silent tears spilled, unrestrained.
Tyler buried his face in Scone’s neck, his fingers stroking Scone’s head. Shade and Leah clung to each other, their bodies racked with sobs.
After some time, Tyler stood. “Go on home, buddy,” he said, his chin trembling. “I’ll look for you on the other side.”
Within seconds of receiving the euthanasia medication, Scone’s breathing slowed, then stopped. The vet listened for a heartbeat, nodded and left the room, allowing them time alone with Scone.
An emptiness draped Tyler’s soul, lasting for several weeks. Shade worried he would never recover. But Leah was his rock. And as the weeks went by, the hole in his heart healed.
The ball left Tyler’s grip, registering ninety-two mph on Kyle’s radar gun. Shade sat mesmerized. She enjoyed watching him practice. Her thoughts turned to Brent. He would be home soon, and Tyler was rocked with anticipation.
Shade didn’t recognize the woman until she sat beside her—the mysterious woman from the bakery.
“Hi. We’ve not met. I’m Amanda O’Brien,” she said, extending her hand.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Shade Lane.”
“I know. You own the bakery. You’re Tyler’s grandmother, right?”
“Yes. I’ve seen you at the bakery. Do you come out often to watch him practice?”
“When I have time,” said Amanda. “He’s quite talented.”
Shade guarded her space, looking away. She seemed too straightforward and her hawkish blue eyes troubled her. She didn’t look like a typical baseball fan, clad in chic grey slacks and a black cashmere sweater. Her silver hair was pulled neatly back in a fashionable chignon, and she spoke with an air of refinement.
“Do you know other players on the team?” asked Shade, avoiding her eyes.
“No, just Tyler. I used to travel a lot, but since my husband passed away, I’m trying to revive the things I used to be passionate about. Like baseball.”
“Did you travel for your job?” asked Shade.
“No. I was an actress in my younger days until I married Vince. He was a businessman and wanted me to see the world with him, so I stopped working.”
Slowly scraping the soil, searching for the nugget, Shade asked, “Do you have children?”
“Vince and I never had children. He never wanted a family. He only wanted us.”
Shade looked at her, her eyes drawing her inward. “What type of acting did you do?”
“Mostly live theater in New York. That’s how I met Vince. He was sitting in the audience, and he told me he knew I was the one.” She laughed without measure, comfortable in her skin.
“Hey, Grams,” yelled Tyler. “Kyle said I threw a ninety-two mile per hour fastball. I can’t wait for Brent to get home so he can see what I can do.” Tyler recognized the woman from the bakery and waved before trotting off.
She turned to Amanda. “This may sound strange, but I feel like I know you. I’ve seen you in the bakery, but I feel like we met before. Another place and time.”
Amanda smiled. “It doesn’t sound strange. It would be nice to get to know you better. Would you like to go for coffee?”
She hardly knew this woman, and she wanted to go for coffee? Something didn’t feel right. A heavy, evening fog. “Today?”
“Yes, if you’re free.”
The coffee shop was located on the outskirts of downtown. As Shade drove into the parking lot, she had second thoughts. A BMW pulled up alongside. Amanda waved and smiled. Too late.
After the waitress took their orders, Amanda broke the awkward silence.
“You’re probably wondering why a stranger would ask you out for coffee.”
“Well, to be frank, yes.”
Amanda sat quiet for a minute before speaking. “What I’m about to tell you may come as a shock.”
Shade swallowed hard. She considered leaving—not wanting to hear—but she was cemented to her seat.
“In August 1960, I had a baby. A girl. I was fifteen, and my life was a mess. My parents were alcoholics, and they were too intoxicated to notice my condition. I gave birth one night while they were out. I was scared. Terrified. I wrapped the baby in blankets and placed her in a box. I hung the box on a tree. And I hoped. And I prayed.”
Shade trembled. Her teeth chattering, as she clasped her hands in her lap. “And that’s how I got the name. Shade. Because if not for the shade of the tree, I would have died.” Her eyes bored into the woman. “You left me hanging. In a tree?” Shade’s voice went higher than she expected. “What? What do you want? Why are you here?”
Amanda’s blue eyes widened, searching and scared, swept with tears. “I wanted to get to know you. And Tyler. So, I hired a private detective after Vince died.”
Shade’s mouth dropped open. “Why now? Why didn’t you try to find me when I was helpless and pregnant? When I needed you? You were married and living the good life.” Anger rose from her core. Bubbling hot and violent. “You could have helped me. But you didn’t. And then you watched me. Like a voyeur.”
Amanda sat unmoving, bound in suffocating plastic, tears tumbling. “I wanted to help you, but Vince wouldn’t let me. And I didn’t want to lose Vince. I was scared. But I was wrong. I know that now. I can’t go back and undo what I’ve done.”
“None of us can,” said Shade, her face stone. She pushed the chair out and stood. “Please s
tay away from Tyler and me.”
Shade struggled to her car, as though moving against water. She came home to an empty cottage. She needed time to absorb everything. She sunk into the sofa, still shaking, mulling over the woman. The princess buried beneath Egyptian dust. Her mother. After all these years. How could she have a relationship with her now when time is fading to black.
Chapter Thirty
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32
The March winds whipped across the lake, whitecaps cresting on the rolling water. It felt good. Right. Brent was eager to get settled. He had a week before starting his job at Edelweiss Schools, and varsity baseball season would soon begin. Contentment filled him as he thought about dinner with Tyler and Shade tonight. Being with them soothed his restless spirit.
Tyler’s face beamed when he saw Brent sitting at the kitchen counter, watching Shade prepare dinner. He walked over and embraced him, slapping him on the back. “You’re home. For good, right?”
“As far as I know. Hey, congratulations on the Texas Christian scholarship.” Brent walked over and hugged Leah. “It’s good to see you, Leah. How’s your grandmother?”
“She’s doing well.”
“Tell her I said hello.” Brent turned to Tyler. “Why don’t you show me your new Jeep, then we can talk about the scholarship?”
Leah went into the kitchen to help Shade. “I’m so glad Brent is back,” she said, as Shade tossed the salad. “Tyler idolizes him. Can I do anything?”
“You can set the table. And yes, Tyler adores Brent. They’ve remained so close all these years. I’m happy he’s home.”
“They’re good together,” said Leah, returning to the kitchen. “And you did a great job raising Tyler alone, without a father. I often think about the struggles you’ve gone through. You must have been terrified when you got pregnant at such a young age. With no parents and no real home.”
Shade thought back on her dysfunctional life, comfortable talking to Leah. “Yes, I was scared. But God has always been with me.”
Leah smiled. “Tyler is a special person. His life wasn’t typical, yet he’s more grounded than so many others. I attribute that to you.” Leah wrapped her arm around Shade’s waist and leaned into her. “Thank you for raising such a remarkable man.”
“Hey, where are you two,” said Tyler. “We’re starving.”
After dinner, and a lengthy discussion about college baseball and the upcoming varsity season, Tyler drove Leah home. Brent helped Shade with the dishes before grabbing his coat.
“Can you stay awhile?” asked Shade.
“Sure.” He put his coat aside.
She sat next to Brent on the sofa. “I need your opinion,” she said, biting her lower lip and staring at her clasped hands. “I met my birth mother. She’d been showing up here and there for the last several years, watching me. Last week, she approached me during Tyler’s practice and wanted to go for coffee. Then she told me. I stared at her in disbelief and walked out. I feel bad about the way I reacted, but she caught me off guard.”
Brent’s brow furrowed, as he drew in his breath. “Wow. Did you tell Tyler?”
“No. But he knows her. She’s talked to him before, and they seem to get along. Part of me wants to know more about her—and about me—but part of me wants to let it go.”
“It must have been hard for her—confronting you. It might be good for you to know more about your past. Maybe it would help with the things you struggle with.”
“But the things I struggle with aren’t connected to her.”
He studied her face. “How do you know? Maybe you don’t think they are, but the past always touches our lives in some way. And it would be good for Tyler to know his great-grandmother.”
“But how can I forgive someone who deserted me? When I was pregnant, she was living with her wealthy husband. Why didn’t she come for me?”
Brent put his glass down and stroked her hair. “I don’t know, Shade. I don’t know why people do the things they do. Until you walk in their shoes, you’ll never understand. Haven’t you ever done something terrible to someone and wanted his or her forgiveness? I know I have. I wouldn’t be sitting here now if you hadn’t forgiven me—that night. And I wouldn’t have been here for Tyler. Everything would have changed.”
She let out a long sigh. “I have,” she said, her voice thick with guilt. “I’m being selfish, I guess. I don’t understand her reasons, but I should be more forgiving. Thanks for listening, Brent. I feel like I can tell you anything and you’ll give good advice. I’m so happy you’re home.”
He half smiled. “You should talk to her, when you’re not so emotional, before writing her off. It might help you.”
“I will. So, about the scholarship offer, do you think he should accept?”
“I do. If he gets drafted in June, he can turn it down. But this way he’ll have a backup plan.”
“I agree. I’ll make sure we contact the university.”
“Well, I’d better go. You have to work in the morning. Tell Tyler I’ll be at school tomorrow if he wants to talk about TCU. I’m meeting with the superintendent. Thanks for another great dinner.”
She walked him to the door and embraced him. He returned her embrace and pulled away.
Sleep was evasive. A meeting with Gary in the morning. Shade swept into his consciousness. He slammed the door. She crept back in. Still beautiful, and he was still captivated. But he felt more in control. They were friends. Nothing more. He thought about her comment—that she could tell him anything—except the one thing he wanted to know.
The ringing phone beckoned as she came through the front door lugging groceries. She raced to answer it, bags bulking before her. She’d not seen the orb—a lone baseball, skulking beyond the couch. Lurking. Her front foot rode the ball like a roller skate, forcing her into an undoable version of the splits. Groceries exploded across the floor.
She crawled to the phone, winded. “Hello?”
“Hey, it’s Victoria. Were you out running?”
“No. I’m exercising. Trying out for cheerleading,” she panted.
“Funny. Maybe I’ll join you. Tyler and Cody would be so proud.”
“Hey, I was thinking about you today. We haven’t gotten together in ages.”
“Well, perfect timing. I’m calling to see if you’re available a week from Saturday. And also, if Shady Lane’s could cater a women’s benefit luncheon I’m hosting to raise money for Doctors Without Borders. If you can make it, you’ll meet the snooty society women I hang with.”
“I’d love to come. And yes, we can cater the event.”
“Great. I’ll come to the bakery tomorrow to discuss the menu.”
Shade pulled herself onto the couch and assessed the damage. She might be bow-legged tomorrow, but she’d be okay.
The wrought-iron gate screamed at the hinges as Shade traversed the long asphalt entrance to Victoria’s stately home. As many times as she’d been here, she was continually struck by the grandeur of the property. She thought about Victoria’s life. How much it had changed. It brought a smile to her face.
“Come in,” said Victoria, embracing Shade. “I can’t wait for you to meet my friends. Liz and Ellen arrived an hour ago to set up the food. Everything looks delicious. Where’s Sally?”
“She’s on maternity leave. She had a baby girl yesterday.”
“How exciting.” Victoria escorted Shade into the spacious living room. A waitress balancing a tray of champagne flutes greeted them. Victoria grabbed two glasses, handing one to Shade.
“Penelope. Meet my dear friend, Shade Lane. She owns Shady Lane’s bakery in downtown Edelweiss.”
“Oh, it’s good to meet you, dah-ling. I go there often. Charming little place,” said Penelope, as she took Shade’s hand. Her bauble-encrusted finger
s felt dead in Shade’s firm grasp.
Victoria placed her arm around Shade’s waist, whispering as they walked away. “Penelope. Loaded. Just had a face-lift. Her face is stretched so tight her eyebrows became part of her hairline. Oh, there’s someone else I want you to meet. Now, don’t get confused. These are not statues on loan from Madame Tussauds’ wax museum. These are living people.”
Shade’s heartbeat bellowed in her ears, as they neared a small group of women, standing in a circle, engaged in conversation.
“Everyone, this is my dear friend, Shade Lane. Shade, this is Kitty, Aurora and Amanda.”
“It’s good to see you again, Shade,” said Amanda, smiling bright.
“It’s good to see you, too,” Shade stammered.
“Do you know each other?” asked Victoria.
“Yes,” said Amanda. “From the bakery.”
“That’s wonderful,” said Victoria. “Shade, I’m going to greet the other guests. I’ll seat you two at the same table.”
Kitty and Aurora left, leaving Shade alone with Amanda.
“Amanda, I want to apologize for my behavior the other day,” said Shade. “It was such a shock. I’ve been thinking about calling you. When the time felt right.”
Amanda smiled, her face lit with delight. “I’m pleased to hear that. There were so many times I wanted to approach you, but I was terrified of being rejected. I decided it was time.”
“I’m glad we met. You used to come to the bakery a while ago, but then you stopped. Why?”
“I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was a long journey, but things are better.”
“I’m glad to hear that. Was your husband living then?”
“No. It was hard—being alone. But I’m close to Vince’s sister. I couldn’t have gotten through it without her.”
Shade smiled, her thoughts whirling—sand in a tornado. “There are so many things I’ve wondered about. Unanswered questions.”
The Essence of Shade Page 28