“I haven’t read your letter, but she told me everything about a week ago. I was too upset to come right away.”
Tyler dropped his face in his hands. “She wrote in the letter how much she loved you. How she’d always wished we could all be together, but she had to pay for her mistakes.”
Brent tried to push down the swell rising in his throat. “She loved you too much, Tyler. That was her undoing. To her, it was the only way.”
“Have you seen her? Since she’s been in?”
“Yes. She seems content.” Brent breathed heavily. “I would have married her,” he said looking down, his finger tracing his wristwatch. “I tried talking her out of turning herself in, but she made a promise to God, and she kept it. She has a strong faith. She’s an extraordinary lady.”
“So, how long will she be in?”
“Seven years. It was a lenient sentence. She didn’t want a lawyer or a trial. The judge took into consideration her service in the community and the fact she has an otherwise spotless record. With good behavior, she could be out in five.”
“God, I love her so much,” Tyler said, sobbing and shaking his head. “She’s everything to me. Why couldn’t she have found another way?”
“I don’t know. I’ll never understand what drove her to do what she did. But she is so proud of you—of the man you became. Stay strong, Tyler. Live that life she wanted you to have.”
Tears ran down Tyler’s face. “What about you? Will you stay in Michigan? Buzz told me he wished you’d move back here. Take your old job.”
“I can’t. I need to stay close to her. To visit whenever I can. I’ll never stop loving her.”
“I’m glad you’re staying. She needs you. Should I change my course? Maybe go to school in Michigan?”
“No. She wouldn’t want that. She sacrificed her life for you so you could live your dream. Don’t take that away from her.”
They sat up until late evening, strengthening a bond that would never be broken. Two men—their lives skillfully interwoven by the finger of God.
Shade sat in the chapel of Emmet County Correctional, praising God for her many blessings. This was home now, here with so many women she had mentored over the years.
Fragments of guilt still nibbled. The anguish in Tyler’s voice when they spoke. Jaime’s mom. Brent, her soulmate. And Addy’s fractured life.
She bowed her head and prayed for her soul. For freedom from the guilt that still lingered. Dear God, if only I could feel free—washed clean.
Meghan slipped into the pew next to her, clutching her hand. Shade turned and smiled. Addy’s face smiled back at her. So pure. Almost angelic. She squinted, trying to focus.
“Are you all right?” whispered Meghan.
“Yes,” replied Shade, her face ashen. “For a minute, you reminded me of my daughter,” she said, squeezing her hand.
The tender hymn coursed through her veins. The words swirling in her head as voices echoed in perfect harmony, pulling her away—drifting into illuminating radiance. White silence crept in—the sound of heavenly snowflakes melting into her upturned face. The light of full knowledge rained down as the stain of bloodguilt fell away…
“My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought,
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul!”
Epilogue
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
Ecclesiastes 3:11
Year 2018
God’s forgiveness is the sweet taste of nectar that fuels a man’s soul. Shade felt redeemed, despite the unforgiving heart of Jaime’s mother. If only she could make things right for Donna, but her sins were carved in stone. She’d spent five years contemplating her actions on that fateful night. It was the cross she would bear for the rest of her days.
She said her goodbyes to the many women inside who had become sisters in Christ. Tears shrouded her eyes as she considered the broken lives she would leave behind. She gathered her meager belongings from the prisoner release station and walked the long, musty hallway to life on the other side.
A flash of adrenaline fired, as she stepped into the light, surprised by the warmth of the sun’s rays against her skin. It was a peculiar euphoric sensation, standing on the righteous side of the towering barbed wire fence. She breathed deeply, filling her lungs with freedom air.
She squinted against the sunlight, searching. She saw him, leaning against his car, arms folded across his chest. His face ignited when their eyes joined. He was the most beautiful man she’d ever laid eyes on. His thick wavy hair flecked with splashes of gray, fan-like lines at the corner of his eyes, a tad more prominent. And those blue eyes. She could drown in them.
His heart danced when he saw her walking toward him. He loved the way she walked, so tall, almost languishing. He took her in.
She fell into his arms, her body disappearing into his, tears washing their faces. They kissed with liberation. The curtain torn in two. Despite his weekly visits, he couldn’t hold her. Not like this. It was manna feeding his soul.
“It feels so good to hold you,” she sighed, her fingers stroking his back.
He held her face in his hands, drinking her in. “Every time I see you, I fall in love all over again.”
“Are we going back to your place?” she asked, as they drove away, their hands clasped between them.
“We’re going back to our place.”
“Too bad Tyler couldn’t make it home. I’m eager to see him.”
“Yeah. It’s spring training. He tried to get away, but you’ll see him soon.”
She offered a weak smile. “I’m so thankful he kept in touch every week. And for the times he came to visit.”
Brent pulled into the driveway of the cottage.
“What are we doing here?”
“This is our house. I wanted to surprise you. Tyler couldn’t get out as much as he wanted, so I bought it.”
“Oh, Brent,” she said, tears spilling down, as she wrapped her arms around him.
They stood together on the beach, her hand locked in his, her head on his shoulder. “I’ve missed this place. So many memories here.” She took off her shoes, feeling the sand between her toes, as the water lapped at her feet. “It feels good to be home, with you by my side. I’ve been dreaming of this day for so long.”
He took her face and kissed her before leading her up the steps and into the cottage. She strolled from room to room, images resurfacing. The framed needlepoint, the weaver’s tapestry, hung on the wall. She stood before it. Mabel’s words echoing in her mind. Her tangled life had been woven into a masterpiece by the hand of God. It was too overwhelming to comprehend.
Brent stood beside her, his arm around her shoulder. “Tyler was very specific. The needlepoint was not to be removed. He said it held special meaning for you both.”
She smiled, trying to suppress a flood of tears. “Yes, it does. Thank you for keeping it.”
He took her in his arms. “I have another surprise for you. We’re going to Hawaii. Day after tomorrow. To get married. Like we talked about.”
A wide grin spread across her face, her eyes shining like stars against a blackened sky. “Are you serious? Oh, Brent. I’m so excited, but I have nothing to wear.”
“Do you need clothes?” he asked. He pulled her into him. “I’ve missed you so much. All these years of waiting, and now we’ll finally be together.”
“I love you, Brent. This is the happiest day of my life.”
The plane touched down at Kahului Airport in Maui. Brent reserved the penthouse suite at the resort where they had stayed for Sally’s wedding. They would marry on the beach tomorrow at sunset.
“Why don’t you get dressed and we’ll have dinner,” said Brent after get
ting settled in their room. “I reserved a table on the beach.”
Shade beamed, as she threw on a sundress and a pair of sandals, compliments of Victoria and Amanda. With her new haircut and a touch of makeup, she felt like a princess.
“You’re gorgeous,” said Brent, as his eyes drifted over her. “Soon you’ll be my wife. I never thought this day would come.”
“Where is everyone?” asked Shade, after being escorted to their table. “It looks like we have the whole place to ourselves.”
“Oh, here comes a family. I hope they don’t spoil our romantic evening.”
She turned. Tyler stood with Leah and their new baby. Tyler rushed over and gathered Shade into his arms, clinging to her like a lost treasure. Tears streamed down their faces, as she pulled away, gazing up at him.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” cried Shade.
“You don’t think I’d miss the wedding, do you? After all those years of praying, God finally answered. I always knew He would.”
Leah wrapped her arm around Shade, leaning into her. “Welcome home. Meet your great-grandson, Brent.”
Her eyes glistened, as she took the child in her arms.
A crowd formed around them on the beach. “Hey mister,” said a small boy. “Are you Tyler Lane?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Oh, wow! You’re my favorite baseball pitcher on the whole planet. I can’t believe it’s you. Can I have your autograph?”
“Sure,” said Tyler, smiling, as he signed the young boy’s ball. “What’s your name, son?”
“Devon.”
“Nice to meet you, Devon. Here you go,” said Tyler, handing him the ball.
“Sorry, Grandma,” said Tyler, turning to Shade. “Oh, look who’s here,” he said, pointing.
Brent went to her side as she turned. There stood Amanda, Sally and Chad with their two children, Victoria and Roger, Blanche and Harry, Mindy, Kevin, and Hannah, and Pastor Ralph.
Brent whispered in her ear. “They came for our long overdue wedding.”
Sally ran toward her, throwing her arms around her. “Shade. I’m so happy to see you.”
“Oh, Sally. You look great. Who’s minding the shop?”
“Meghan. She’s turned out to be the best employee I’ve ever had. Thanks to you.”
“Hey, girlfriend,” said Victoria, embracing Shade. “So, is it true? Is there something going on between you and Brent? I hear there’s a wedding tomorrow.”
“It’s so good seeing you,” said Shade, laughing. “And thanks for your generosity. I love all the new clothes you and Amanda picked out for me.”
“Oh, honey,” said Blanche, squeezing in between Victoria and Shade—her white hair peppered with blooms of yellow hibiscus flowers. “So, you finally snagged that handsome man.”
Shade embraced Blanche. “It’s so good of you to come. I only wish Mary could be here today. But we know she’s resting in the arms of her Savior.”
Mindy came over and embraced Shade. “Thank you for making my brother’s life complete. I haven’t seen Brent this content in years.”
“Thank you, Mindy,” said Shade. “I plan to spend the rest of my life making him happy.”
Amanda took both of Shade’s hands. “You look beautiful, honey. I’m so happy you’re home.”
“Me, too, Mom. Me too. We have a lot of catching up to do.”
Acknowledgments
My deepest gratitude to all the early readers who encouraged me on my pilgrimage into unfamiliar territory; Jackie Atchison (a two-time reader), Debi Harmount, my sisters—Karen Hill and Sherry O’Brien, my sister-in-law—Lisa Murrell, Ken Darish, Paula Ford, my 90-year-old mother—Evelyn Cioccio (still going strong), and my incredible husband, Bill Miller, whose undying patience and support kept me sane.
I would also like to thank my Copyeditor, Debra Viguie, for her depth of experience, sense of humor, and insightful guidance. Your suggestion to cut an entire chapter (ouch!) was brilliant advice.
Seeing my book cover come to life was an awe-inspiring experience. Thank you, Emilie Hendryx, for your astute creative vision and for gently steering me down the right path. It was a pleasure working with you.
And finally, a huge debt of gratitude to my brother, Gary Murrell—another two-time reader—who never stopped believing in me. What an endearing sight watching you pull into my driveway each week, balancing an armload of edited pages and two Starbucks coffees. Our time together was precious. I am eternally grateful for your sacrifice.
About the Author
Born and raised in southeast Michigan, Deborah retired from a long career in advertising before penning her first novel—a story that had been simmering in her brain for over fifteen years.
When she is not writing, she can be found in the kitchen experimenting with new recipes. She continues to live in The Great Lakes State with her husband, a man who’ll eat anything she places in front of him.
Recipes for foods mentioned in her book can be found at her website: www.deborahjeanmiller.com
The Essence of Shade Page 33