“Hi, Justin,” he said. “I was hoping you could tell me what happened right before your friend locked himself in the bathroom.”
“Nothing happened,” Justin said. “At least nothing bad happened. We rode the horses down to the creek. We just sat down there and...and he told me I was lucky. I guess he meant about living here and having horses and parents that care about me. Then we came back and he helped me feed the horses, and we went in the house. I went to the kitchen and he went down the hall. I thought he was going to his room, but I guess he went in the bathroom.”
“You don’t think he was upset about anything?”
“Well, he knew his parents were coming home today. And he was kind of worried about going somewhere else...moving, I mean.”
“They were moving?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you know where they were going?”
“No, sir. I don’t think Lee knew either.”
“Do you know where he got the knife?”
“Um...he might have...that is...I think he might have had it in his backpack.”
“Did you see it there?”
“When we went to the YO Ranch on a field trip for school, he had it in his backpack then. That was about two weeks ago.”
“Did he ever say anything to make you believe that he might hurt himself?”
“No, sir.” Already he was lying.
“Okay, then. I’m going to let you folks get to the hospital. I’ll be in touch if I need to ask you some more questions.”
* * * *
The Emergency Room was swamped with patients when Justin and his parents hurried through the sliding glass doors. Every chair was filled, and people stood along the walls and paced restlessly up and down in the few open spaces. Sick children cried in their parents’ arms, and an elderly woman sobbed quietly on the shoulder of a younger man. The place reeked of antiseptic and too many bodies packed too close together. Lee’s parents were not in the waiting room, so Justin’s dad went to the admissions desk to inquire about Lee.
“All they’ll say is that he’s in one of the treatment rooms, and that his parents are with him. No one but family is allowed to go back there. It probably makes more sense for us to go home and call every hour or so to see how he’s doing.”
A cloud of depression hung over the car as they drove through the darkening streets.
“How bad was he hurt?” Justin asked his dad.
“I don’t think the cuts are too serious. The real hurt is whatever caused him to want to end his life. I can’t imagine what would be terrible enough to make a fifteen-year-old kid want to kill himself. There must be some bad things going on in that family.”
“Yeah,” Justin said softly.
“I think you need to tell us everything you know about this situation,” Justin’s dad said.
The story came out in bits and pieces. When he told them about the way Lee’s parents made money, Justin felt like a traitor, but he knew that Lee needed help from someone with more power to change things than he himself had. It was long past suppertime when they got home, but no one had much interest in food. Justin stood in the bathroom door looking at the dark smears of blood on the floor and wall. He was overwhelmed by feelings of horror and grief that had been temporarily suspended by the shock of the moment. Struggling to swallow the large lump that threatened to block his throat, he thought about the stormy night when Lee had put aside his hostility and found the courage to save all of them.
Warm arms came around his shoulders as his dad appeared behind him.
“I’ll clean this up if you’ll go help your mom fix something to eat,” he said. “By then, it will be time for us to call and check on him. Don’t worry too much. I don’t think he lost enough blood to worry about. It always looks like a lot when it’s spread around like this.”
In the kitchen, Justin found his mom sitting at the table with her hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. She looked up when Justin came in and patted the place at the table beside her.
“I never dreamed he was this upset,” she said when Justin sat down.
“What do you think will happen now?” Justin asked.
“I have no earthly idea. We’d like to help, but I can’t think how.”
“Could he stay here with us? He hates moving around so much and staying alone all the time. He doesn’t even try to make friends because he’ll just have to leave them.”
“We’ll talk to your dad about it, but I don’t really think his parents will leave him here with us. I certainly wouldn’t leave you.”
“Yeah,” Justin agreed, “but they’re different.”
Justin got some plates out, and his mom stirred the warmed-over meatballs in a pot on the stove. The phone rang while Justin was filling glasses with ice, but before his mom could answer it, he heard his dad pick it up in the bedroom. Justin scooped some meatballs and gravy on his plate and then sat at the table staring at it without interest. His mom brought him a can of Coke which he sipped while they waited for his dad to get off the phone.
“We need to go back to the hospital,” his dad said, tucking a clean shirt into his jeans as he came in the kitchen. “They called to say they are admitting Lee, but his parents have evidently left the hospital. They probably went out to get something to eat, but I think we’d better go up there anyway.”
Outside the closed door of the hospital room, Justin had a moment of apprehension. His dad knocked and pushed the door open, leading the way. The patient in the first bed was a younger boy who was completely bald. Behind a curtain in the back of the room, Lee lay under a starched sheet with his eyes closed. A woman Justin had never seen before sat in the chair across from his bed.
“I’m Rachel with Family Services,” the woman said, rising and offering her hand to Justin’s mom and dad. “Are you Lee’s parents?”
“No,” Justin’s dad said, glancing sideways at Lee. “He has been staying with us while his parents were out of town.”
A nurse came briskly through the door with a clipboard in her hand.
“Hi,” she said. “We just need some paperwork filled out.” She held out the clipboard, but Justin’s parents didn’t reach for it.
“Let’s go out into the hall and talk about this,” Justin’s dad said. “You stay here, Justin, and talk to Lee.”
The group trailed out of the room and closed the door behind them. Justin went over to the bed. Lee’s eyes were closed, and a plastic tube was taped to the back of his hand, dripping some fluid into him from a transparent bag hung above the bed. His other hand was wrapped by a bulky bandage that covered most of his lower arm.
“Hey, man, are you awake?” Justin asked.
Lee didn’t respond.
“You scared the crap out of me,” he said, glancing at the door. His mom didn’t like that word.
“I’m really sorry,” he added. “I wish I knew how to help you.”
“He’s not awake,” a voice from behind the curtain said. “He hasn’t talked to anybody.”
Justin pulled the curtain back a little. The bald boy in the next bed was looking at him.
“He’s been here a couple hours. Everybody tries to talk to him, but he can’t talk.”
“Thanks,” Justin said. “I’ll just sit with him then.”
For the next half-hour he sat in the chair the Family Services lady had vacated. The boy behind the curtain turned on his television. Lee lay perfectly still and silent. A nurse came in and wrapped a blood pressure cuff around Lee’s upper arm.
“Want to wake up and talk to me?” she asked.
Lee didn’t move or open his eyes.
“Are you a friend of his?” She turned to smile at Justin.
“Yes, ma’am,” he said. “Is he asleep?”
“I guess so,” she said. “The doctor didn’t think he was unconscious. Maybe he just doesn’t feel like talking right now.” She checked the tube in Lee’s arm, lifted his head, and fluffed his pillow before bustling out of the room. Justin walke
d to the head of the bed, leaned over, and whispered into Lee’s ear.
“I’m the only one here. Can you open your eyes?”
Nothing. In a few minutes, the door wheezed open, and Justin’s mom beckoned to him.
“Gotta go,” he said. “But I’ll be back tomorrow.” He sensed rather than saw a slight movement as he turned to leave.
Chapter Eleven
“The hospital doesn’t know where Lee’s parents went,” Justin’s mom said as they drove home through the dark streets. “They were here for a while and even gave the hospital Lee’s insurance card, but now they’ve disappeared. It’s been over two hours. I guess they could still be having dinner, but it seems strange to me. I wonder if they were trying to avoid that woman from Family Services.”
“What’s going to happen to Lee if his parents don’t come back?”
“Let’s not worry about that yet,” Justin’s dad advised. “I’m sure they will come back. He’s their kid.”
“Lee told me one time that his parents might be arrested if the police found out where they were. He says that what they’re doing is illegal.”
“It is. Especially if they use those credit card numbers to take money out of people’s accounts.”
They rode in worried silence for several blocks.
“I wonder how they found our house. The only information I left on the door at Lee’s was our phone number, but they didn’t call, did they?” Justin’s dad asked.
“No, they didn’t, and the address in the phone book just says rural route.”
“Strange,” his father observed.
* * * *
The sun shone with a vengeance through Justin’s bedroom window the following morning, forcing him to squint when he opened his eyes. Turning over in bed was a delicate business with broken ribs, especially when he first woke up in the morning. He stretched stiffly and smelled bacon frying. His dad’s official Saturday breakfast menu was bacon and pancakes, the only meal he cooked all week. Like a freezing breath, memory washed over Justin and he sat up carefully. He was surprised that he had slept so well, but as soon as they got home from the last trip to the hospital, he had gone to bed and fallen asleep almost immediately.
The bacon was splattering all over the stovetop when Justin went into the kitchen. His dad was on the telephone.
“We’ll be in later this morning,” he said before he hung up.
“Was that about Lee?”
“Yes. I called to check on him. The nurses’ station says he’s doing well, but his parents haven’t returned. The nurse I spoke to told me the doctors make rounds on that floor about ten o’clock to see the patients, and I think we should be there just in case his parents aren’t.”
Lee’s eyes were open when Justin and his parents came into the room. He stared at the ceiling as they gathered around the bed.
“I’m so glad you’re awake,” Justin’s mom said, taking Lee’s hand in hers. “You gave us quite a scare yesterday.”
Lee didn’t turn to look at her, but his eyes filled with tears, and his chin trembled.
“I can’t...” he whispered. “I can’t...” The tears spilled from his eyes and ran down the sides of his face, soaking into the pillowcase.
“You can’t what?” Justin’s mom asked.
He finally turned to look at her. “I can’t go to another empty house... in another strange town. I...I just can’t do it anymore.”
“I know, honey, and you shouldn’t have to,” she said, brushing the hair back from his forehead. “Do you know where your parents are now?”
“No, ma’am. I never know.”
A small group of men and women in white coats pushed through the door and gathered around the bed.
“How are we doing this morning?” the senior doctor asked, smiling at Lee.
“Good,” Lee said, in the tone of someone who wasn’t good at all.
“You must be Mom and Dad,” the doctor said, turning to Justin’s parents.
“Actually, we’re not,” Justin’s dad said. “We’re not sure where his parents are at the moment, but Lee was staying with us when the...um...problem occurred.”
The doctor looked carefully at his chart.
“It says here that his parents gave permission to admit him. When will they be back?”
“They won’t be,” Lee said softly.
The older doctor looked at Lee for a while, as though he were contemplating how to react to this bit of unexpected information.
“Okay, Lee,” he said. “You’re looking better. Do you feel any better?”
“No sir.”
The doctor put his hand on Lee’s arm and squeezed gently. “I’ll be back in a little while. You hang in there. Okay?”
“Sure,” Lee said, closing his eyes as if he wanted to end the conversation.
The doctors went to the door, and Justin’s father followed them out into the hall.
“Well, Lee, have you had a delicious hospital breakfast yet?” Justin’s mom asked in a transparent attempt to be cheerful.
Lee didn’t answer, and his eyes looked far away.
The next hour passed slowly, and Justin’s dad did not return. His mom sat in the recliner in the corner and read the free newspaper that was delivered to every room. Justin wandered down to the first floor and found the cafeteria where he bought three sodas. Lee sipped his disinterestedly. Occasionally tears would form in his eyes again, and he’d turn his head toward the window. Trays of food were being delivered to the rooms when Justin’s dad came back.
“Wow. That smells fabulous,” he said teasingly, wrinkling his nose at Lee. “We’re going to get some lunch someplace where human food is served. Would you like us to bring you something sinful, like pizza or a chocolate shake?”
“No, thanks,” Lee said, keeping his eyes on the window.
* * * *
Jody’s Hamburgers was packed, but Justin’s dad found a booth in a back corner stacked with trash and plastic hamburger baskets. He gathered up the trash while Justin’s mom wiped up smeared ketchup with a napkin.
“We need to talk about some things,” he said when the waitress left with their order. “The doctors want Lee to have a psychological evaluation before he is released from the hospital. I talked to the doctor who treated him in the Emergency Room, and he thought the suicide attempt was really more of a cry for help. The cuts aren’t very deep, but they think he is suffering from depression.”
“He has every reason to be depressed,” Justin’s mom said. “I don’t know what to say to him about his parents. What kind of mother would go off and leave her son right after he attempted suicide?”
“They are going to have to release him from the hospital sooner or later, but now that Family Services has gotten involved, I’m not sure whether we can take him home with us or not.”
“Isn’t there something we can do?” Justin asked. “We can’t let him go to a foster home or back to Korea to live with his grandfather.”
“Is that an option?” Justin’s mom asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t think so. His grandfather lives in North Korea. Lee says he’s really poor and barely makes enough money to take care of himself.”
“Is he the only living grandparent?”
“The only one that Lee has mentioned to me.”
“How sad,” Justin’s dad said. “Do we want to try to find a way for him to live with us? I’m not even sure if it’s possible since his parents are out there somewhere, but right now Family Services is considering him an abandoned child.”
“Please, Dad, can we try? I need to help him with this.”
“He has a lot of problems, Justin, and some of them you are not going to be able to solve for him.”
“I know, Dad, but we have to try.”
* * * *
On Monday, Justin had to go back to school. There was only a week left before final exams, and his parents insisted he had missed too much school already. Lee was still in the hospital. A new medicine prescribe
d by his doctor had banished the tears from his eyes. They were replaced by a blankness that made Justin uncomfortable and sad. On Sunday afternoon, Justin had volunteered to bring Lee his assignments and study sheets so he wouldn’t fail the semester, but Lee’s life was in limbo, and he didn’t seem to care whether he passed the ninth grade or not.
I’ll call Family Services tomorrow and find out where things stand,” Justin’s dad promised. “After dinner we’ll go and visit him. Maybe something will have been decided by then.”
Charlotte spotted Justin coming up the walk after the bus unloaded at school on Monday morning. She fell into step beside him.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked, giving him a long, thoughtful look. “Did somebody just kick your dog?”
“No. I don’t have a dog. Lee tried to commit suicide Friday afternoon when his parents showed up to get him.” He filled her in on the details as Charlotte stared at him in disbelief. The usual Monday morning racket in the gym seemed somehow surreal and out of place, and Justin sat down in the first empty seat he came to. Charlotte squeezed in next to him.
“My mom and dad said it would probably be best not to talk about it, but I thought you ought to know the truth. He saved you, too.”
“I won’t tell anyone,” Charlotte said. “Why do you think he did it?”
“I think he couldn’t face going to another strange town and staying by himself in another house. He acted like he was cool with living alone when I went over there, but now I think he’s kept up the act for as long as he can. He must think his parents don’t love him very much if they leave him alone week after week.”
“I can’t imagine what that would be like,” Charlotte agreed. “What are his parents going to do now?”
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