“… Please?”
Nothing.
She sags.
Slowly at first.
Shrinking in on herself as if her bones were being plucked out, one by one.
I watch as all of it—the bravado, the bluster, the armor she has encased herself inside these last few months—all of it crumbles to dust.
She slithers to her knees.
Great heaving gasps shaking her entire body.
She knows now. The answer. The truth.
At the apex of callousness, she finds only ones and zeros.
And with no hope to hold it in check, grief finally steps out to take its place on the stage.
The sound of her sobbing rings in the dark.
There are none there to hear it.
None there to care.
None save I.
ByteMe: Ezra?
ByteMe: u there?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: always
Mason, E, LT 2nd: where u at? u ok?
ByteMe: promise me we’re not about to have a fight, Ez
ByteMe: u cannot believe how much i need us to not have a fight
Mason, E, LT 2nd: why would we have a fight?
ByteMe: promise
Mason, E, LT 2nd: cross my heart
ByteMe: i’m on the Alexander
ByteMe: what is it you always say?
ByteMe: k go
Mason, E, LT 2nd: um
Mason, E, LT 2nd: “kady what the fuck were you thinking”?
ByteMe: u promised
ByteMe: u promised, u promised. i have a bio suit. will find u. it’s happening, don’t waste time arguing w me
Mason, E, LT 2nd: jesus, you’re fucking crazy
Mason, E, LT 2nd: how the hell did you get over here?
ByteMe: i fucking swam, okay?
ByteMe: hey, do u remember our one month anniversary?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: um
Mason, E, LT 2nd: dare i ask why?
ByteMe: i’m trying to go to a happy place, there are a lot of dead ppl here
ByteMe: that was what confirmed all my suspicions about u. giant softie
Mason, E, LT 2nd: dead ppl? where are u?
ByteMe: remember u were waiting outside my classroom? u and your big romantic notions
ByteMe: who even celebrates a 1 month anniversary?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: handsome and romantic devils
Mason, E, LT 2nd: that’s who
Mason, E, LT 2nd: HANDSOME I SAY
ByteMe: how did u even think of it all?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: not just a pretty face
Mason, E, LT 2nd: where u hiding? r u safe? you got power? gravity keeps dropping in and out
ByteMe: u r just not going to talk romance with me, r u? dodging :(
ByteMe: could kind of use a boost here, lover
Mason, E, LT 2nd: i’m sorry kades
Mason, E, LT 2nd: but i feel it’s my duty to point out that ur alone in a derelict spaceship, surrounded by pipe-wielding maniacs and now might not be the time for pillow talk
Mason, E, LT 2nd: where u at?
ByteMe: hiding in the shuttles in hangar 4. safe. whoever was here is gone now. i’m powered up. psyching myself to get out there
ByteMe: to which end reliving a happy memory might help, but mooooving on
Mason, E, LT 2nd: i’m sorry
Mason, E, LT 2nd: just
Mason, E, LT 2nd: yeah … :(
Mason, E, LT 2nd: they all came out of bay 4. the crazies, i mean
Mason, E, LT 2nd: please PLEASE be careful
ByteMe: believe me, i’m on it. this is terrifying. and sad. don’t need telling twice
Mason, E, LT 2nd: yeah :(
Mason, E, LT 2nd: like, i see these lunatics wandering around all bloodied and messed up. killing anything that moves. and screaming. jesus, the things they scream
Mason, E, LT 2nd: and then i remember they used ot be real ppl.
ByteMe: our friends
Mason, E, LT 2nd: yeah.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: and i can’t help thinking
Mason, E, LT 2nd: BeiTech have a lot to fucking answer for
ByteMe: they’ll answer for it
ByteMe: i’ll get right on it, soon as i’ve got u.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: :)
Mason, E, LT 2nd: my hero <3
Mason, E, LT 2nd: heroine?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: w/e … >_>
ByteMe: you’re right
ByteMe: deep breaths.
ByteMe: give up and they win
ByteMe: and u know i never admit my ideas are stupid, which means i’d better get on with proving this idea was a good one.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: :D
ByteMe: love you.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: love u 2 :)
ByteMe: so let’s get this done and get out and kick BeiTech’s asses so hard they’ll be singing soprano for the duration
ByteMe: q 4 u: do i need to come find u, or can u get here?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: um, i’m kinda stuck :P
Mason, E, LT 2nd: holed up. think i’m safe for now but i dont’ wanna move.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: i can hear them. outside.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: screaming
ByteMe: ok. if i can get up close, maybe i can program the doors in person, shut some off, make a safe way out.
ByteMe: the whole system’s crumbling piece by piece, sections keep going out. can’t do it from here, but maybe if i can plug in directly
ByteMe: where r u?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: i made it to one fo the servers rooms, like u said
Mason, E, LT 2nd: there’s computer shit everywhere. big server banks. cables all over. i can see serial numbers. hang on.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: CR-0778. CR-0779. they all liek that
ByteMe: ok those are core servers
ByteMe: thats good, some of those u can get to straight from the outside. and u should have power
Mason, E, LT 2nd: yeah, power is up. everything is still lit. gravity is iffy tho
ByteMe: stay locked down
ByteMe: tell me if u move
ByteMe: let’s get this done, so we can get moving and kick some BeiTech ass from here to Central and back again
Mason, E, LT 2nd: there are a lot of them, Kady.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: like, more than there could have ever been on those shuttles
Mason, E, LT 2nd: so please be careful
ByteMe: i’ll be careful
ByteMe: and sad
ByteMe: and fucking furious
ByteMe: and i’ll be there soon
Surveillance footage summary,
prepared by Illuminae Group Analyst ID 7213-0089-DN
Cams were still out in Hangar Bay 4, so the first we see of Grant after her initial incursion is when she emerges from the bay into its main airlocks. The whole ship is lit by emergency lighting at this stage, so my visuals aren’t great, but I’ll do what I can. Audio is a mix of bass from the engines and a few distant screams. Even though life support’s down, this place sure as shit ain’t lacking for atmosphere.
Grant is dressed in a bright green hazmat suit, portable console in a pack on her back. She strides through Airlock 1, out into Airlock 2. She looks pissed—jaw clenched, hands in fists. She gets about ten feet past the threshold before he stops her.
Dead in her tracks.
He sits facing the abandoned hangar bay she’s just entered from, rifle in his lap. Jaw hanging loose. Eyes wide open. In her After Action Report, First Lieutenant Winifred McCall talked about how blue they were. “Pretty as oceans,” she said. But when his bullet blew out the back of his skull, the concussive force burst Sergeant James McNulty’s retinas, filling his corneas with blood. So now his
eyes are black.
And they’re staring right at her.
She’s read McCall’s AAR. Knows who he is right away. It’s funny, but you can almost see the rage evaporate as she kneels beside him, reaching out with shaking hands to press those black eyes closed. Her gaze flickers over the scene, like she’s trying to burn it into her mind. And finally, she notices the small military-issue datapad lying on the ground beside him.
It’s spattered in red. Tiny letters on the faintly glowing screen.
Recording complete. memory full. Playback?
Grant pauses a minute to gather herself. You can see it on her face as she plucks the datapad from the blood. She knows this is gonna cost her—some small part of herself she’ll never get back. Just like the airlock to Hangar Bay 4, this door can’t ever be closed again.
But after one last deep breath, she presses play.
A voice crackles from the small speaker, a faint tremor at its edge.
The voice of a dead man.
“This is the last will and testament of James McNulty.”
Grant sits cross-legged, device cupped in her palm. The volume’s turned down to a whisper, but in that tiny bloodstained room, I swear it’s loud as thunder.
“I don’t know if anyone will get this. Don’t know if anyone will care. I don’t feel right. I’m shaking so b-bad I can hardly breathe. And that’s got me thinking Phobos has stuck me, and that if I don’t do something about it soon, I’m not going to be m-me anymore.
“I don’t want that. Don’t want to end up like those poor bastards in Bay Four. I don’t want to hurt anyone. When I die, I want to be me. So I guess I die today.”
A sigh.
“Figures. I was just starting to enjoy myself.
“I don’t have much stuff. Um. I guess give it all to my dad; he’ll know what to do with it. Except give my signed Artie Corso v-vidcard to my cousin Dex, haha … he was always talking about that fucking thing. Oh. And my medals. I wanna give those to Ezra Mason. He can melt ’em down—there should be enough gold in ’em to make a ring for Astro-Princess. I think I’d like that better than having them hanging on a wall somewhere. Yeah. Yeah, that’d be good.
“Dad … if you get this, tell Mom I’m sorry I didn’t make it back for her birthday. U-um, and give Amber a kiss from her big brother. Tell her it’s g-going to be all right. I hope you understand. Me going out like this. It’s not that I’m scared. I’m n-not scared, Dad. I just want to be me at the end, you know?
“Um, it’s getting kinda bad again. My hands are shaking, so I think I’m gonna go now. I don’t want to wait too long and not be able to pull the t-trigger.”
Metallic sounds from the speaker. Anyone who knows guns, knows them.
Checking clip. Checking breach. Safety off.
“I can’t think of anything to say.”
A trembling breath.
“Jesus, I am scared.”
BOOM.
Grant flinches like someone hit her. Slumps like part of her died as well. She sits for two minutes that seem to last forever. Nothing but the engine noise and screams for company. But finally, she climbs to her knees. Her eyes on the lanyard at McNulty’s equipment belt, the flat strip of blue plastic attached to it. The bold black letters stenciled on it.
UTA MARINES—ALL AREAS ACCESS.
The pass won’t work on the hangar bay doors, but those are already unsealed. And there are countless other doors aboard the Alexander that card will unlock. No need to hack through them with that console at her back anymore. Now she’s got the key.
She unzips McNulty’s hazmat suit, fumbling with the tac vest beneath. With bloodstained fingers, she snaps the chain at his throat, drawing out a pair of flat metal disks marked with name, rank, UTA ID number. Slipping the dogtags into her pack, she bows her head.
The rage is back now. Her voice is shaking with it.
“I’ll tell them, Jimmy,” she says. “I’ll tell them all.”
And then the console in her backpack starts to ping.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: kady
Mason, E, LT 2nd: fuck me
Mason, E, LT 2nd: kady u there?
ByteMe: hang on
ByteMe: kk. what’s up? u moving?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: no. well sort of. deeper into the server cluster
Mason, E, LT 2nd: jesus
Mason, E, LT 2nd: kady i just killed someone
ByteMe: good
ByteMe: anyone else tries anything, u kill them too, got it?
ByteMe: they’re not them anymore
Mason, E, LT 2nd: yeah i know
Mason, E, LT 2nd: just
Mason, E, LT 2nd: god
Mason, E, LT 2nd: he came in through the airvents. dunno how he found me. UTA marine. guy named Sykes.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: i think Jimmy knew him, used to talk about a guy in his squad called Syko
ByteMe: i’m sorry
ByteMe: i found jimmy, Ez. i’m so sorry.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: god is he ok?
ByteMe: he died, Ez.
ByteMe: he did it himself, before the sickness got him, once he knew it was on the way
ByteMe: he left a message. i’m so sorry, i know he was your friend.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: …
Mason, E, LT 2nd: jimmy
ByteMe: i’m sorry. i have to keep moving.
ByteMe: i have his access pass, i’ll be faster now
Mason, E, LT 2nd: ok
Mason, E, LT 2nd: yeah ok
ByteMe: r u ok holed up where u r?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: core server rooms. i’m out of bullets
Mason, E, LT 2nd: no spare mag. no munitions locker in here
Mason, E, LT 2nd: i’d kill for another gun. pun intended, i guess …
ByteMe: that’s ironic
Mason, E, LT 2nd: ?
ByteMe: i have one right here and no idea how to use it
ByteMe: i think these are bullets tho
Mason, E, LT 2nd: a gun? wat kind? pistol? rifle?
ByteMe: r pistols the ones u hold in ur hand? like smaller?
ByteMe: there’s one of those and a big one too, but couldn’t lift that for long
Mason, E, LT 2nd: ya, pistol is the one that fits in one hand. take that
Mason, E, LT 2nd: but u need the rifle too. it should have a strap to help carry it. pistols dont’ have the stopping power. these crazies just keep coming until they can’t move anymore.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: but a couple of VK rounds in the chest will stop a glaciosaur
ByteMe: Ez i’m already lugging this biosuit plus my pack plus my tablet, can’t haul 2 guns i don’t even know how to fire with me.
ByteMe: take ur point they’d be useful if i knew how but i don’t
Mason, E, LT 2nd: i can teach
Mason, E, LT 2nd: it’s easy
ByteMe: must be, u learned
Mason, E, LT 2nd: D:
ByteMe: seriously tho i have to keep moving, don’t have forever.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: ok, safety is red switch under your thumb when ur hand is on the grip. just keep that off, and keep the business end away from your face
Mason, E, LT 2nd: when you touch trigger, laser sight will light up on barrel. you just point the red dot where u want the bullets to go
Mason, E, LT 2nd: then squeeze
Mason, E, LT 2nd: don’t pull. squeeze.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: rounds will fire in atmo or vacuum, but even with liquid casings, the recoil is rough on a VK. brace against ur shoulder. the gun will pull up toward the roof when u fire, so use short bursts. don’t hold trigger down. just pop pop pop, one at a time
ByteMe: do either of us think i have any chance of remembering this if something tries to kill me?
ByteMe: i don’t even know if i co
uld shoot
Mason, E, LT 2nd: it’s easy
Mason, E, LT 2nd: point red dot at what u want to die
Mason, E, LT 2nd: squeeze trigger
Mason, E, LT 2nd: it dies
Mason, E, LT 2nd: repeat
ByteMe: i mean i don’t know if i could pull the trigger
ByteMe: squeeze the trigger
ByteMe: fuck it whatever.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: kady
Mason, E, LT 2nd: u can do this
Mason, E, LT 2nd: u have to. there’s no one else but you
Mason, E, LT 2nd: i believe in you
ByteMe: i know
ByteMe: i know
ByteMe: ok i have to keep moving
Mason, E, LT 2nd: you do
Mason, E, LT 2nd: you’ve got to hurry
Mason, E, LT 2nd: if more get in here …
Mason, E, LT 2nd: yeah T_T
ByteMe: see u soon
ByteMe: or die trying
ByteMe: haha
CURRENT DEATH TOLL ABOARD BATTLECARRIER ALEXANDER SINCE ATTACK AT KERENZA:
1,121
PERCENTAGE OF REMAINING BATTLECARRIER ALEXANDER PERSONNEL AFFLICTED BY PHOBOS VIRUS
34%
She runs.
Not away but toward.
Him.
Them.
I find it strange, to see how quickly the Alexander has undergone metamorphosis.
Those lucky enough to have found hazmat gear are huddled in small knots all over the ship. Praying or fighting for their lives.
But those unfortunates who sucked Phobos through their lungs before finding a suit, or worse, who never found a suit at all …
They have made this place an abattoir.
I …
< error >
I should have known that would happen.
I can hear them inside me.
Gibbering. Whispering. Screaming.
Some band together, roaming the corridors and looking for something to blame/hurt/kill.
Others hurt themselves, laughing as they cut away the parts they like the least.
It is astonishing to watch the differing ways the madness shapes them.
Fractures them into splinters and rearranges what remains.
A captain from engineering named Sofia Mohammad solves Alcubierre’s quandary—the formerly unbreakable equation prescribing the limitations of faster-than-light travel in real time.
Illuminae Page 21