by TJ Klune
“Dude, chill. He didn’t touch me. This time.”
“What are you all doing out here—oh. Oh no.”
We turned to see Justin standing near the gate, staring directly at Dimitri.
“My Prince,” Dimitri all but purred. “How lovely it is to see you again. Come to discuss more… diplomatic relations?”
“Wow,” Kevin said. “That sounded dirty. How does he do that?”
“Kevin, dear,” Gary said as he pranced to the dragon.
“Yes, my love?”
“I noticed that you are paying more attention to a tiny fairy man when I have my horn back and you have yet to compliment me about it. That’s… unfortunate. For you.”
“I did earlier!”
Gary narrowed his eyes. “And I believe we discussed that you would offer me a compliment every hour until I deemed otherwise, and then I would give you the one muffin you’ve never gotten to have.”
“The Buttery Herb Cheese Muffin,” Kevin breathed.
“Do I know that one?” Ryan asked. “Do I want to know that one?”
“Probably not,” I said. “It’s the one where….” And I whispered the rest in his ear, because saying the words any louder would doom my soul to hell.
“Why?” Ryan moaned when I finished. “Why, why, why is that even a thing? How would you even gather it all to put it in there?”
“I have my ways,” Gary said simply, as if he weren’t the most disgusting creature alive.
“Without your horn, you were radiant,” Kevin purred. “With it, your beauty is unparalleled. I want to worship you all over.”
“That’ll do for now,” Gary said as Kevin licked his neck. “I feel the buttery herbs already.”
“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Ryan said as he started to gag.
“I don’t want to know,” Justin said. “King Dimitri. It is an honor to see you again.” He bowed low, one arm folded behind his back. “Though I must admit that you aren’t the guest I would have expected.” He glanced at Randall, looking slightly irritated. “Perhaps an explanation is in order so that I may report back to my father.”
“I would be happy to provide you with one,” Dimitri said, wings flapping furiously. “Should we retire to your extremely private quarters? And have Sam come as well?”
“Not gonna happen, dude,” I said, rubbing Ryan’s back as his head was between his knees.
“Pity, that,” Dimitri said. “The dragon did inform me of the King’s rescue. I was pleased to hear that he was once again safe and relatively healthy.”
“He’s with a doctor now getting a full physical,” Justin said. “Complaining about it, of course, but I won’t take any chances. Myrin had him captive for six months. He said nothing untoward happened during that time, but still. It doesn’t hurt to be smart about it.”
“Indeed,” Dimitri said. “Though I must admit to being confused myself as to why we’ve been summoned.” He turned and flew in front of Randall. He crossed his tiny arms across his tiny chest, and if it hadn’t been for his dick flopping all over the place and the fact that he had just tried to have a threesome with me and Justin, I would have cooed at him for being so little. “Randall. Care to explain? I’ve told you before that we fairies do not get involved in the fights of men.”
Randall snorted. “And yet you meddle incessantly. Little hints here, twisting of an arm there. Curious how you not being involved looks like the exact opposite.”
“Careful, wizard,” Dimitri warned as his eyes narrowed.
“Sam has the dragons.”
Dimitri glanced at me for a long moment before looking back at Randall. “I am aware.”
“And that includes the Great White.”
“I am aware of that too.”
“Our parting was… unfortunate.”
Dimitri laughed derisively. “Is that how you wish to put it? Certainly a revisionist take on things.”
And for perhaps the first time since I’d known him, Randall looked flustered. It was astonishing to see him fumble for his words. “Yes, well, it’s—you see, there were extenuating circumstances that—I required a different—”
“You forsook your mentor for love,” Dimitri said, not unkindly. “You loved another, he wouldn’t have it, and you made your choice. And even though you couldn’t speak directly—not with words—you both knew the consequences. I played mediator for you then. I won’t do it now.”
“You were with them when he mentored Randall?” I demanded. “Why the hell am I only finding this out now?”
Randall was grinding his teeth, a vein throbbing in his forehead. “It didn’t matter before.”
Dimitri eyed me curiously. “You know we’re the Keepers of the Forest.”
“He capitalized that,” Tiggy whispered to Gary. “It true now.”
“And the Great White is of the Dark Woods,” Randall said begrudgingly. “The fairies have always had a… symbiotic relationship with him. He created. And the fairies made it blossom.”
“Not unlike your Zero,” Dimitri said. “But on a much larger scale.” He sounded far too smug for my liking.
“Dude, how old are you? And you wanted to marry me? That is an age gap I’m not comfortable with.”
“I’m still virile,” he said as his minions tittered angrily behind him. “I can give you a demonstration if you’d like.”
“I will punch you in your tiny face,” Ryan growled.
“He is a king,” Justin hissed at him. “Maybe don’t try and piss him off?”
“Sam is going to summon the dragons,” Randall said above all the noise, and everyone fell silent.
I turned slowly to him. “I’m sorry. I’m going to what now?”
Randall didn’t look pleased. It didn’t make me feel any better. “You’re going to summon the dragons. It’s time we meet with them face-to-face.” The skin under his left eye twitched. “All of them together.”
“That’s why you’ve called for me,” Dimitri said, sounding accusatory. “You wish to parley with the Great White, and you want me to be the go-between.”
“Ooooh, girl,” Gary breathed. “Draaaama.”
“Now that we have Sam here,” Randall said, “the Great White and I will be able to have… words. And I expect there to be many of them. It is better if the fairies mediate any meeting, given our history.”
“I don’t see why I have to be here for this,” I told him. “I don’t want to see the oldest things I know fighting with each other.”
Randall’s eyebrows did a complicated dance. “You will be here,” he said through gritted teeth, “because the dragons belong to you as much as you belong to them.”
“You hear that?” Kevin whispered. “I own you.”
I ignored him in favor of staring at Randall. “Why now?”
“Because we’re running out of time. Myrin won’t allow the rescue of the King to go unpunished. I fear that the fall of Old Clearing is just the beginning.” He glanced at Dimitri before looking back at me. “And as you’ve said yourself, Zero will shortly need to sleep the next century away. We can no longer dally. The end is coming, Sam. One way or another.”
“Drama queen,” I muttered. “So, you want me to bring four other dragons here, one of whom is basically the size of a small mountain who also happens to hold a grudge because you chose your supervillain boo over him, so you can have a tiny naked man with wings play mediator and we can try to figure out how to save Verania from the clutches of evil?”
I could tell it cost him greatly to agree with me. But he said, “Yes, Sam.”
I shrugged. “Okay.”
He blinked. “What?”
“I said okay.”
“I really expected more pushback.”
“Nah. I want to see how awkward it’s going to be when you two meet again after all this time.”
“You’re such a bitch,” Gary said proudly. “I taught him that.”
“We need to warn the camp,” Justin said. “So the people don’t frea
k out when dragons suddenly descend upon us.”
“I do it,” Tiggy said.
“Don’t scare people,” Justin warned him. “We don’t need to cause panic.”
Tiggy looked offended. “I won’t.” Then he turned and began running toward the gates, hands flailing above his head as he bellowed, “DRAGONS COMING! DON’T BE SCARED! DRAGONS ARE COMING, BUT THEY NO EAT YOU!”
“He tries so hard,” I told Justin, who just sighed.
Ryan had pulled his sword out and was staring at his reflection in the blade, running a hand through his hair.
“What are you doing?”
“I didn’t expect to be meeting dragons,” he said. “I need to look presentable.”
“Oh my gods.”
“I have sex hair. Sex hair, Sam. I am literally about to meet the Great White for the first time, and he’s going to be able to tell that you seduced me.”
“Seduced you? Hey, in case you forgot, you were the one that jumped me because you get a boner every time I do magic!”
“How uncouth,” Dimitri said as the fairies buzzed behind him.
I snorted. “You legit have no room to talk about kinks, dude. Your whole existence is essentially a kink.”
“One of these days, you’re going to start a war just by talking,” Justin told me.
“Your hair looks fine,” I told Ryan, knocking his hand away before he made it worse. “I mean, no offense, but GW isn’t going to care what your hair looks like.”
“GW?” Dimitri asked. “Do you dare insult him by not referring to him as you should? He is a dragon.”
“Sam is a disrespectful little shit,” Kevin said. “Lord Dragon, they call me. The Beast from the East. But does Sam ever refer to me like that? Noooo. Of course not. It’s always Kevin this or Kevin that or Kevin, please put your tongue up my butt so far that you can taste what I had for dinner.”
“Kevin, what the hell!”
“See?” Kevin told Dimitri. “No respect.”
“Like I would sleep with Kevin,” I said to Ryan. “It was only a year. Besides, you saw how tight I was last night. If Kevin had really stuck his tongue up my ass, you would have been able to stick your whole face in there when you did it to me last night.”
“Sam,” Ryan hissed. “Everyone can hear you!”
“Wow,” Gary said. “I need to go masturbate—I mean, I need to go jerk off right now. Oops. That was the same thing. Shit.”
“I’ve been thinking about you,” Dimitri said, flying up in front of Justin’s face. “About… unifying our two kingdoms. What do you say, my Prince? Do you want to be… unified with me?”
“What an offer,” Justin said. “I need to take time to think about it.”
“Of course.”
“I’ve taken enough time. I must respectfully decline your offer.”
Suddenly the sky blackened with clouds and lightning flashed. Randall thundered, “Enough.”
We all stopped talking.
The sun came out again as the clouds dissipated.
“Huh,” I said. “That storm front came out of nowhere perfectly timed with you being angry and—oh. Yeah. Okay, I get it. Related.”
Randall’s eyes were blazing. “You need to take this seriously.”
“Yeah, you guys,” I said, glaring at the others. “Be serious.”
“Sam,” Ryan whispered. “He’s looking at you.”
“That’s because he’s silently asking for me to be his backup while he chews the rest of you out for acting ridiculous.”
“How are you still alive?” Dimitri asked me.
“Sheer force of will,” I said cheerfully. “Anyway, Randall thinks you all suck and you guys should shut up because we’re trying to be for real right now, okay?” I smiled at Randall. “Go ahead. I’ve got you, dude. You don’t need to—are you okay? Like, your face is really red. Are you feeling ill? Are you dying? Man, talk about terrible timing. You can’t die yet. We have some villain ass to kick before your body can collapse in on itself since you are so old.”
“—DRAGONS COMING! DON’T BE SCARED! THEY NO EAT—” Tiggy skidded to a halt next to Gary. “Done and done. I fast.” Gary hoof/fist-bumped him.
Randall looked up toward the heavens.
We all turned our heads skyward too.
“What are we looking at?” Gary whispered.
“I have no idea,” I whispered back. “That cloud over there looks like a dick.”
“Ha! The sky has a dick.”
We looked down when Randall did. He seemed like he was feeling a little better. His face wasn’t as red. I winked at him, just to let him know I totally got what he was doing.
“Sam,” he said, voice oddly flat. “Summon them.”
I sighed. “I was hoping you’d forgotten about that. Do I really have to?”
“Yes.”
“Fine. You all might want to take a step back. This could get a little sticky.”
“Why the hell would it get sticky—” I heard Justin say before I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
They were always there, these low pulses of light, these threads that had attached themselves to the electrical impulses of my brain, curling down my spine until they circled my lightning-struck heart. Kevin’s was the strongest. Yes, we’d all just spent a year practically in each other’s minds, but Kevin was… different. He fit with us here.
After him was Zero Ravyn Moonfire, the teenage emo snake dragon monster thing who acted like he had crows in his soul but only ever wanted someone to love as he grew his trees and his flowers. Zero’s pulse and thread were as red as his scales, burning under a desert sun.
Then came the blue pulses, the fluttering of feathers. Pat and Leslie, the mated snow dragons who had once chased Randall and me off the edge of a cliff as their way of seeing if I was worthy of their time.
The last thread was the brightest. Not because of our connection, but because he was the oldest living thing in the known world, and he was made of magic. The Great White was a dragon, but he was different. Kevin was a conduit, helping direct my magic. Pat and Leslie were dreamwalkers. Zero could grow his forests. That was their magic. Their gifts.
The Great White held us all together.
The Great White was who had imbued me with magic that should have taken decades for me to learn.
The Great White was the unifier, the reason I felt them all in my head and heart to begin with.
I’d learned in the woods that my link to the Great White was the reason my eyes had gone black for Kevin, red for Zero, and blue for Pat and Leslie. He was the reason I’d heard them in my head in the desert and the Northern Mountains. He’d been aware of our connection. Of me. Of everything. The whole time. From the first vision when Vadoma had appeared in Castle Lockes and pressed me up against a wall to the second time when he’d told me I wasn’t ready, he’d known. How much he knew was still a mystery. I didn’t know if he could see the future. I didn’t know if he was actually a god. The world had supposedly been built on his back. I didn’t know if that was true, but not for lack of trying.
I’d asked all these questions.
I’d usually been ignored.
Now, though.
Now he wasn’t ignoring me. I wondered if he’d been waiting for this moment.
The pulses were bright, and the lightning scars on my chest burned.
Come, I said to those lights.
I’m already here, the black one said, because he was an asshole.
I wasn’t talking about you.
Oh. Right. You can still ask me to come, if you want.
Gross. Stop it.
Heh. I’m funny.
Finally, the red one said. This has taken forever and I’m bored and starting to get sleepy, and Pat and Leslie won’t let me go make friends with skunks even though they are the only ones who understand me.
That’s because they smell bad, dear, one of the blue lights said. Why, Pat ate one once, and I wouldn’t let her kiss me for a year afterward.
That’s not something they need to know, the other blue light said rather gruffly.
So lame, the red light muttered.
Hey, baby bro, the black light said. Try sheep. They scream when you chase them. It’s hysterical. Also, Gary got his horn back!
Oh, a blue light said. How lovely for him. I bet you’re both thrilled.
It’s about damn time, the other blue light said.
See? I told you she was a softie. A bull dyke exterior, but nothing but fluff on the inside.
We are coming, the white pulse said, and the others fell silent.
I sighed and opened my eyes. The haze of green and gold felt thick around me. I glanced back up at Kevin, whose eyes were completely black as he watched me. He was rumbling happily deep in his chest, tendrils of smoke curling from his nostrils. It hadn’t been so long since we’d seen the others, but there was a sense of relief at the idea of all of us being together again, regardless of how GW frayed my nerves. Though to be fair, I did the same to him.
“They’re coming,” I said.
“I felt that,” Ryan said, sounding awed.
“You did? Like, each of them individually? Could you hear what they were saying?”
He shook his head slowly. “No. I didn’t hear anything. It was more like… a feeling. In here.” He tapped the side of his head. “I think it was more from you than anything.”
Dimitri fluttered about in front of him, eyeing Ryan curiously. “Cornerstones.” He looked at Randall. “Their bond is strong. Especially for ones so young.”
“Their history goes back further than even I knew,” Randall said. “And I’ve learned to never set expectations for them. Usually they end up defying them, one way or another.”
“Was that a compliment?” Ryan whispered to me.
“Yes. No. Maybe?”
“Thanks for clearing that up.”
From the woods came a great roar.
“Here we go,” I muttered. “Whatever you do, don’t run.”
Zero appeared first, bursting from the tree line into the sunlight, muscular body twisting and kicking up dust as he slithered toward us. I had to remind myself to take my own advice and not run screaming at the sight of a gigantic snake dragon monster thing hurtling at me, because Zero was sensitive to how he looked. The bony hood around his face was flat against his head, and I knew he was showing off when he snapped at the air, fangs large and quite frightening.