Tatum had imagined this, being with Ryder. She was human, after all, and a woman. But even her best fantasies hadn’t come close to the real thing.
Before undressing her, he’d produced a condom. She didn’t ask why he carried one in his wallet. She was just glad he’d brought one. After pleasuring her expertly and thoroughly with his mouth and hands, he’d placed the condom over his impressive erection.
She’d done that to him, she thought with no small degree of satisfaction. Brought him to a fully aroused state with nothing more than her utter abandon.
Ryder, she’d learned, liked watching the results of his efforts. His eyes had remained riveted on her face in the semidarkness as he’d coaxed one exquisite response after the other from her. Tatum discovered that she, too, liked watching. Seeing his eyes fill with desire. His jaw muscles tense and flex from the strain of holding back. His chest rise and fall in rhythm to her own rapid breathing.
She intended to return the favor when he finished with the condom. He no sooner collapsed onto the pillows than she slung a leg over his hips and straddled him.
“Baby,” was all he got out before she wrapped her fingers around him and guided him inside her. After that, he communicated only in groans and deep exhalations.
“Tell me,” she demanded. “How does it feel?”
His response was to grab hold of her waist and bury himself inside her.
“Tell me,” she repeated.
“Like nothing else. Smooth. Slick. Intense.” He punctuated the last word with a desperate sound from someplace low in his throat.
Tatum smiled. She wanted this experience to be like nothing else. Whatever happened between them, and she vowed to be a realist, this night, this moment would be one of a kind. For both of them.
Leaning forward, she brought her breasts to his mouth. He suckled each one, the pressure he applied building as did the power of his thrusts. When she could take no more, she pulled away, denying him. He swore under his breath, then released an anguished hiss when she reached between their bodies and let her fingers play. Ryder lasted only a few seconds longer before his release crashed down on the both of them with startling force. Even before the last tremor subsided, he pulled her down to meet his mouth in a searing kiss that went on and on and on.
“You’re amazing.” He cradled her face in his hands.
“You’re not so bad yourself.”
“I was worried.”
“About what?”
“Pleasing you.”
No one had ever pleased her more. “Couldn’t you tell?”
“I thought so. I admit to getting a bit lost for a while there.”
Love talk. Tatum started to think she’d missed it, then wondered if she’d ever really engaged in it before. No, not like this.
Several seconds passed before either of them moved or spoke again. Eventually, Tatum eased herself off Ryder and stretched out next to him, their legs entwined and her head resting on his shoulder. Perfect and peaceful. Too bad it couldn’t last.
“I hate to break up the party.” She trailed her fingers through his thick chest hair and down his belly, enjoying his sharp intake of breath. “But the kids will be home soon.”
“I’ll leave.”
She propped herself up on one elbow to stare at him. “Get dressed, at least. I can come up with a reason for you being here. Not for us frolicking with our pants down.”
He didn’t immediately spring from bed. “I need you to know something, Tatum.”
“All right.” The seriousness of his tone worried her.
“Whatever you may think of my past, I don’t take sex lightly.” He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. “You’re important to me. Very. More than you can imagine.”
“Good.” She let herself relax. “Because you’re important to me, too.”
“I won’t say anything to anyone about tonight. You can trust me.”
“I’m not ashamed.”
“Neither am I, but I don’t want people getting the wrong impression.”
His argument had merit. “I think we should tell your parents we’re dating. We both work for them, after all. For the time being.”
He swung his legs onto the floor and stood. She couldn’t resist and took a moment to admire his toned, athletic build. Ryder may work as a marketing executive, but he had the hard, sculpted body of a man who earned his living outdoors.
“I’ll leave that to you,” he said solemnly.
“Are you uncomfortable with telling them?”
He yanked her to her feet and into his arms. “I couldn’t be prouder. Or happier.”
“Maybe we can tell them together.”
“I’d like that.” He smiled, and her heart dissolved into a puddle of mush.
It was a fact of life. While undressing and making love had been natural and easy, dressing was somehow a little awkward. Particularly when she turned on the light in order for them to locate their clothes.
Tatum slipped on her shorts from earlier. Certain her face shone beet-red, she averted her gaze. A moment later, Ryder came up behind her. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he rested his chin on the top of her head.
“Can I call you later?” he asked.
“Tonight?”
“Yes, tonight.” He nuzzled her ear. “And tomorrow when you wake up.”
Hearing Ryder’s voice first thing in the morning? Just like that, the awkwardness perhaps only she’d been feeling evaporated.
“Okay.” More than okay. It was wonderful.
She walked him to the door. Ignoring the neighbor who’d come out to dispose of her trash in the communal Dumpster, Ryder kissed Tatum. It was less intimate, less sensuous than when they’d been making love, yet a languid sigh escaped her. If only it could be like this always.
“See you tomorrow, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart. She liked the rich timbre of his voice when he spoke the endearment.
Ryder wasn’t gone five minutes when Cassidy showed up with all four children. Tatum went from quietly indulging herself in memories to fending off a friendly assault of hugs and kisses, accompanied by cries of “Mommy, can I watch TV?” and “Drew hit me in the arm with his cast.”
A pile of inexpensive trinkets, bounty from the birthday party, appeared in the middle of the living room floor.
“How were they?” she asked Cassidy.
Her friend stopped dead in her tracks and gave Tatum a long and thorough once-over. “What happened to you?”
“Nothing?”
“You are so lying.”
“I swear. I’m fine.”
“I can see that. You’re glowing.”
Was she? Tatum grinned.
“Tell me,” Cassidy insisted.
“Kids, clean up this mess. Then, get ready for a shower.”
The three older children emitted cries of disappointment as they reluctantly gathered up the strewn trinkets. Adam crawled on to the couch and flopped over in the exact spot Ryder had been sitting when he first kissed Tatum. Right before she’d asked him to stay.
“How come Benjie doesn’t have to take a shower?” Drew complained.
“I’m sure he does. At home.”
Cassidy completely ignored Tatum’s subtle hint that it was time to go. “Was Ryder here?”
“What makes you say that?” Tatum answered, a bit too quickly and too defensively.
“He wasn’t at the arena. Dad says he’s been AWOL for a while now and won’t answer his phone.”
“Maybe he had an appointment.”
Good thing the older kids had disappeared into the bedrooms and Adam was half-asleep, because Cassidy refused to cease her interrogation.
“I thought I was your friend. Your best friend.”
&nb
sp; “You are.”
“Then come clean. It’s obvious you’re happy. If that glow is Ryder’s responsibility...well, he’s my brother. I think I have a right to know.”
Tatum looked around again, making sure no one seven years of age and under was listening. “He was here.”
“And?”
“We’re going out. This weekend. To the Hole in the Wall.”
Cassidy nodded mutely.
“Does that bother you?”
“No. Yes.”
“What’s wrong, Cassidy?”
“He’s not a relationship kind of guy.”
“Maybe he’s changed. He was married once.”
“And done nothing but dated casually since. Every phone call I’d ask, and he’d answer the same. There was no one special. I’d hate to see you hurt.”
“Rest assured, I’m going into this with my eyes wide open.” Of course, Tatum was hoping, not so secretly, that Ryder was becoming more and more a relationship kind of guy. “It’s just a date. Let’s not get carried away.”
“What date?”
Both Tatum and Cassidy whirled to see Gretchen standing not ten feet away.
“I’ll explain later, sweet pea.”
“Tell me now.”
“Don’t you have spelling words to study?” When her daughter refused to budge, Tatum said, “We’ll talk after Cassidy and Benjie leave.”
“Is Mr. Beckett your new boyfriend?”
Tatum made a practice of being painfully honest with her children when possible, something their father wasn’t. Now, however, she chose to massage the truth.
“He and I are just going out. It’s too soon to call him my boyfriend.”
Anger distorted Gretchen’s features as she cried out and bolted straight to her bedroom. The next thing Tatum heard was the door slamming.
“Oh, dear,” Cassidy said.
All the joy Tatum felt the past hour left her in a rush. “I should go to her.”
“I’ll get out of your hair.” She cupped her hands around her mouth and hollered, “Benjie. Let’s get a move on.”
Benjie dragged his feet. Eventually, mother and son were headed toward the door.
Cassidy hugged Tatum. “Call me if you need anything.”
“She’ll be okay.”
“Mom dating is a big adjustment.”
Cassidy spoke as if she knew, which was funny, considering she never dated.
“You okay?” Tatum opened Gretchen’s bedroom door and stuck her head inside.
Her daughter lay on her twin bed, a stuffed bear clutched in her arms. As Tatum advanced into the room, Gretchen rolled over and faced the wall.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Tatum said, “Please, don’t be mad at me. I was going to tell you.” She rubbed Gretchen’s back, a leftover gesture from when her daughter was a tiny baby.
“Do you like him?” Gretchen’s voice sounded small and uncertain.
“Yes, I do. And he likes you. Drew and Adam, too. I’m hoping you’ll give him a chance. He’s a very nice man.”
Gretchen squeezed the stuffed bear tighter. “Is he going to be my new daddy?”
“Absolutely not. No one will ever replace Daddy.”
“Lisa Anne’s mommy has a new boyfriend.”
Her playmate from school. Tatum heard the name often.
“And then her daddy went away.”
“That won’t happen.”
“It might. If Mr. Beckett becomes your boyfriend.”
“Your daddy loves you.” Even as Tatum said the words, she doubted them. Monty was the slowly disappearing parent, and it had nothing to do with Ryder.
“I hate him.”
“Don’t say that! Daddy may not see you often—”
“Not him. I hate Mr. Beckett.”
At her daughter’s pitiful outcry, Tatum’s heart broke. Gretchen’s anger and resentment at Ryder had nothing to do with him and everything to do with her poor excuse for a father. She was simply too young to understand the difference. Unfortunately, Tatum’s relationship with Ryder could—and probably would—suffer because of it. She didn’t want that to happen, but family came first.
“We’ll call Daddy tonight, okay? Find out when he’s coming to Phoenix next and where he’s staying, then drive over to see him.”
“Promise?” Gretchen’s eyes glistened with unshed tears.
“Absolutely.”
Tatum refused to think about what would happen if Monty came up with his usual bunch of excuses.
* * *
“WHAT’S WRONG?”
At Ryder’s sudden appearance, Tatum involuntarily jerked and banged her knee on the open cabinet drawer. She hadn’t heard him come into the office. That was what she got for letting her thoughts consume her.
“Why do you think something’s wrong?”
“You’ve been hiding all day.”
“I have not.” She closed the cabinet drawer and faced him. “We talked this morning. Twice.”
Ryder had called her shortly after her alarm went off and again on her way to the arena after she’d dropped the kids at school and day care. His timing had been good, which showed he paid attention to the small details of her life. It was flattering and sweet. And the kind of thing a boyfriend would do.
She’d cut him short. Both times.
Gretchen’s tearful outburst resounded in Tatum’s head. Her poor little daughter had gone to bed unhappy when their call to Monty went unanswered and the voice-mail message they’d left unreturned.
“I looked for you at lunch,” Ryder said.
“I had some errands to run.”
“You left? I didn’t notice.”
“Cassidy and I drove together.”
He studied her critically. “What’s really bothering you?”
“I’m just busy.” She started for her desk. Luckily, the office was empty and no one was listening. Unluckily, Tatum couldn’t use unwanted eyes and ears as an excuse to have this conversation later.
“Tatum, sweetheart. Tell me. What chance do we have if you won’t communicate?”
The tender look in his eyes was her undoing.
“Gretchen’s worried that, because of you, Monty will stop coming around. She doesn’t want to lose her father.”
“Monty stopped coming around long before I entered the picture.”
“She’s young. She has trouble comprehending a complicated situation.”
“What can I do to make it better?” He lifted his hand to her cheek.
Tatum closed her eyes and abandoned herself to the sensation his caress evoked. “Be patient.”
“We are still going out this weekend.”
Her eyes snapped open. “About that...”
“Don’t say you’ve reconsidered.”
“I have to think of my children.”
“The boys like me. We’re pals.”
“Gretchen’s sensitive. She’s the oldest and misses Monty the most.”
“I get it. It was the same for me when my dad left.”
Not entirely. His mother had insisted his father leave. And it was a well-known fact Mercer would have visited his children much more frequently if Sunny had allowed it. Monty, on the other hand, had been the one to do the leaving. And he’d rather be anywhere else besides Reckless.
“I won’t take no for an answer,” Ryder said. “I’m picking you up at seven on Friday.”
Her defenses rose. She didn’t like being put in a difficult position. “Please, don’t make me choose.”
“Don’t use Gretchen as an excuse.”
She drew back, astounded. “I beg your pardon.”
“If you’re having doubts about us, Tatum, say so. Don’
t make Gretchen the scapegoat.”
“I’m not.” She pressed a hand to her forehead. “Okay, maybe I am having a few doubts.”
“That’s better.” A small smile lifted the corners of his mouth.
“How is that better?”
“We can deal with doubts. Overcome them. As long as you’re honest.”
“This is new for me. Dating post-divorce and with children who are heartsick because their father can’t bother with them and scared that I’m trying to replace him.”
She went to her desk and plopped down into her chair. Exhaustion, emotional and physical, overwhelmed her.
Ryder leaned his back against the lateral file cabinet. “What about his mother? Have you called her?”
“To tattle on him? I doubt he’d appreciate that.”
“She might have some influence on him.”
“Ruth and my relationship is tricky at best.” Tatum shook her head. “She already suspects something between you and me. She might jump to the wrong conclusion.”
“How could asking for her help in convincing Monty to visit his kids be misconstrued? It’s to their benefit. And his. And hers, really.”
“You’re right.” A less pleasant thought occurred to Tatum. “She might ask me to bring the kids to her house more often. Monty does visit her when he’s in town.” But not his own children. Tatum just didn’t understand.
“Great,” Ryder said. “Especially since I’ll be moving to that same area.”
“They might not like it. They’re still afraid I’m going to leave them with her again. Drew wouldn’t go with her the day of the parade.”
“What would it hurt to initiate a conversation with her?”
“Nothing, I suppose.” Tatum conceded she could be making a mountain out of a molehill. “I’ll call her tonight.” She suddenly noticed a printout of the contract for Lynda Spencer on the corner of her desk and reached for it. “I finished drawing this up. It’s ready for you and your father’s review.”
He took the contract, gave it a cursory once-over, then, grabbing the pen off her desk, signed on the bottom of the third page.
“You didn’t even read it,” she accused.
Her Rodeo Man Page 16