by Unknown
BABBIE (EAGERLY). Mr. Dishart! Oh! Oh! Oh! What’s to be done? Will he wipe his feet on me?
NANNY (WAGGLING FIST EXCITEDLY). Keep still! (IN WHISPER)
Work the loom and then he’ll think we dinna hear him.
(babbie goes on tiptoe to the loom and works it, and with incredible quickness nanny puts the cloak into the bed. Another knock. She moves about on tiptoe, tidies herself up, letting down gown and sleeves, doing hair, putting on fresh white mutch. Another knock. While the loom is clacking, nanny with same swiftness tidies up room, flinging ungenteel articles into the bed. Goes to bookshelf, comes to table and puts four books primly round table with large Bible in centre, hanging merino conspicuously on nail — all the work of a minute. Another knock, nanny signs to babbie to stop working and then speaks in a loud, surprised, genteel voice.)
Deary me, was that a knock at the door? (Nods knowingly and shakes fist to babbie, then goes and opens door. Enter gavin.)
GAVIN. May I come in?
NANNY. It’s Mr. Dishart! This IS a surprise! (BOWS HIM FORWARD.)
GAVIN (COMING IN AND SHUTTING DOOR). Busy as usual, Mrs. Webster?
NANNY (IN A TRANSPORT, APPEALING TO HEAVEN). Mrs. Webster he calls me, as if I was a lady with a brass knocker on her door. I like it fine. And ‘May I come in?’ he says, as if onybody would keep him out! He! He! (TAKES HIS HAT AND PUTS IT ON LOOM.)
GAVIN. You ARE alone.! THOUGHT! HEARD talking.
(babbie suddenly works loom.)
NANNY. Lassie!
(babbie mischievously works loom.)
You brat! Lassie, come forward and make your lowliest to the Minister.
(gavin starts at sight of her. She laughs and mischievously bows several times, to his annoyance, nanny meantime has gone for an armchair and wheels it to him.) A chair, Mr. Dishart! (PUTS HIM PROUDLY INTO IT; IN A SORT OF WHISPER) It’s the Egyptian. She has brought me back my things.
GAVIN. I am glad she has had that honesty.
BABBIE. Oh, thank you, sir. (BOWS PROFUSELY.)
GAVIN (STARTING UP). Woman, if you bow to me again I shall run you out at that door.
(BABBIE COLLAPSES ON STOOL BY WHEEL, AS IF IN TERROR.)
NANNY (BEHIND TABLE). Have a care, lassie. (EXULTING)
Every day this week has Mr. Dishart come here to see if you have brought back my things.
(BABBIE LOOKS AT GAVIN, WHO WINCES.)
BABBIE. What an interest you must have in Nanny, Mr. Dishart.
NANNY. It makes me a proud woman. They call me the peacock nowadays.
BABBIE. No wonder! (SENTIMENTALLY, TO NANNY) To be HIS peacock!
(gavin glares at her.)
Nanny, I have offended him again. What IS the right thing to say to a minister? Shall we ask him to drink a dish of tea with us?
NANNY. We couldna presume.
GAVIN (GENIALLY). I should like it, Mrs. Webster.
BABBIE. There!
NANNY. You’ll sit doun to your tea in this house! Eh, the honour — lassie, the cloth’s in that drawer — eh, the jealousy this’ll cause in Thrums! Mysy Grossurs’ll take to her bed!
(RUSHES ACROSS TO FIRE AND BUSIES HERSELF WITH KETTLE.)
(BABBIE GOES TO DRAWER.)
GAVIN (GAILY — RISING). I want to help.
NANNY. Na! na! Lord preserve’s, no!
BABBIE (cavalierly). Yes, you help! (Coming to table with cloth; to gavin) Lift these books.
(To nanny’s surprise he does as he is bid, then doesn’t know what to do with them, babbie bustles about getting things ready. She spreads cloth and returns to cupboard, leaving gavin unable to put books down anywhere. She returns with butter and scone, and sees him in difficulty.)
(Wearily) Put them down! (Puts her things on table, then sees he is still in difficulty, takes them from him, and puts books back on shelf, sighing over his stupidity.) Get the tea-pot. Now the tea! (She sees that he is helpless again.) There it is, staring you in the face.
(He brings it to her.)
Give it to Nanny.
(He does so. She goes and gets three plates from dresser, then stands looking at him.)
Now get the bannocks, and butter some scones.
(The bannocks are stacked round fire, nanny turns round and sees. She puts tea in tea-pot and packet of tea on mantelpiece.)
NANNY. Heaven help her, she’s ordering about the Minister!
(GAVIN LETS KNIFE FALL.)
BABBIE. Stupid! Sit down there — and don’t rise till I give you permission!
(He sits contrite in armchair, hands in pockets.)
Nanny, if men would keep their hands in their pockets all day, the world’s affairs would be more easily managed. (GOES UP TO TABLE FOR MILK JUG, SUGAR BASIN, SPOONS, CUPS AND SAUCERS, READY ON TRAY.)
NANNY. You limmer! (ANXIOUSLY) Dinna heed her, Mr. Dishart; she’s an English gipsy as you can tell by her tongue — and they ken no better.
(babbie brings tray with cups.)
Do you think the Minister is to drink out o’ my second best cups? (Takes away one cup and saucer from her.) They do fine for you and me, but I’ll let you see what he is to drink out o’.
(Exit nanny, proudly, babbie goes to table and puts tray down. They look at each other, very selfconscious.
babbie sits at wheel and sets it spinning, gavin rises and is about to speak when babbie starts up.)
BABBIE (ANTICIPATING HIM). Woman, stand forward! (SHE IS CONTRITE.) Ah, don’t be angry. After all,! HAVE saved your weavers — (SKIPS ROUND HIM) — for no further action is to be taken against them, if they are good boys and girls in future. Do you know that?
GAVIN. It has been officially announced. (ANXIOUSLY) But you are not included. (TRAGICALLY) Have you not heard that Lord Rintoul has issued a warrant for your apprehension?
BABBIE. I know. Isn’t it a darling of a warrant!
GAVIN. A what! Have you absolutely NO —
BABBIE. No — absolutely.
GAVIN (SIGHING). Babbie, why do you always make fun of me?
BABBIE (STANDING BY WHEEL). Because — because you are such a boy.
GAVIN. My congregation don’t think me a boy.
BABBIE. They don’t know you so well as I do.
GAVIN (SHYLY). Do you think you know me well?
(She nods.) I wish I understood you. (SCRATCHING HEAD.)
BABBIE. Don’t you?
GAVIN. Sometimes I think I do — and then I don’t. (SIGHS.)
The strange thing is that when you annoy me —
BABBIE. Then you get so angry. Wow-wow!
GAVIN. I pretend to be angry, but — yes, let the truth be told, I believe I like it all the time. (TURNS AWAY AS IF THIS WERE A TERRIBLE REVELATION.)
(babbie looks at him unseen, rather fondly.)
You say you know me, but you see you did not know that! (WHEELING ROUND WITH SUDDEN SUSPICION.) Or did you know it?
BABBIE (sits again, faltering). I — I am not quite sure.
(They hear nanny coming, babbie works the wheel. Enter nanny, carefully carrying a cup and saucer.)
NANNY (coming to table). This is what Mr. Dishart is to drink out o’. (Puts it on table, puts armchair by table for gavin. She is very excited.) This is your chair, Mr. Dishart.
(GAVIN SITS.)
BABBIE. Shall I sit here?
NANNY. Keep us a’! The lassie thinks her and me is to sit down wi’ the Minister!
(babbie jumps up.)
You ignorant crittur, we ‘re just to stand and serve him, and when he has risen, we’ll sit down.
BABBIE. Delightful! Nanny, you pour out his tea, and I shall hold his plate. (Takes a plate in left hand and kneels.)
GAVIN (rises, thundering). Sit down both — I command you!
(They sit nanny, above the table, pours out tea babbie, affecting fear, nervously holds out plate for him to take a piece of scone. He smiles and is about to take a piece, but babbie draws back the plate. He frowns at her, then she gives it.)
GAVIN (very severely). Thank y
ou.
(While this is going on, nanny pours out the tea. She hands gavin his cup and saucer; he takes it.)
Thank you, Mrs. Webster. (THEN HE EATS A PIECE OF SCONE.)
Your scones are delicious, Mrs. Webster.
NANNY (OFF HER HEAD WITH DELIGHT). Eh — eh — you hear what he says! They are my own baking! He said ‘delicious.’ It was his very word!
GAVIN. I am enjoying my tea immensely.
NANNY. Oh, the glory!
BABBY. He is here, Nanny! He is drinking tea with you and me!
NANNY. Ay, and he might be drinking it in Rintoul Castle wi’ her little leddyship hersel’.
BABBIE. No!
NANNY. Umpha! (IMPORTANTLY) Him and Lord Rintoul is friends now.
(BABBIE LOOKS AT GAVIN.)
BABBIE. Friends?
GAVIN (AWKWARDLY). The fact is — I have had a letter from Lord Rintoul, thanking me — for the help — I gave the soldiers, the other night!
BABBIE. The help? Oh! I see!
(HE CANNOT FACE HER.)
NANNY (IMPRESSIVELY). AND inviting him to call at the castle!
BABBIE. How kind!
NANNY. The whole town is ringing with it.
GAVIN (DRAWING A LONG FACE). He — he is most cordial. I am visiting almost daily on the estate just now, because two of my congregation, who are tenants there, are ill. And Lord Rintoul has requested his daughter to meet me at these houses and to assist me in my work in whatever way I think best.
BABBIE. This is in return for your — help on the night of the riot?
GAVIN. Y — y — yes. (STIRS HIS TEA VERY QUICKLY.)
BABBIE. What is — what is her little leddyship like?
NANNY. Ay, what is she like, sir?
GAVIN. I don’t know — she has never come near me. (DRINKS HIS TEA.)
BABBIE. Disobeying her father. The naughty!
GAVIN. She visits these poor people and, to do her justice, is very kind to them, but she seems to avoid going near them when I am there.
NANNY. The impidence!
GAVIN (SMILING LIKE AN OLD CACKLING WIFE). She has more important people to be nice to, Mrs. Webster. I have heard that she and Captain Halliwell — (He nods his head in a gossipy way.)
NANNY (nodding also and drinking in the gossip). Oh, ho! ho! Oh, ho! ho!
BABBIE. Oh, ho! ho! (NODDING.)
(THEY ARE PUTTING HEADS OVER TABLE AS THEY CACKLE.)
GAVIN. But she lives chiefly in England and has never even been in Thrums; so how can we expect her to have an interest in its minister? (LEANS BACK IN CHAIR.)
BABBIE. Oh, no!
NANNY. I have heard a droll thing about her.
(They become gossipy over table again.)
They say she has a French servant woman that has nothing to do except wait on HER alone!
BABBIE (INCREDULOUS). No!
— GAVIN (WITH A MAN-OF-THE-WORLD AIR). It is quite possible. They are called lady’s-maids.
BABBIE. What a lot you know, sir!
NANNY (GURGLING WITH LAUGHTER). It’s said — that she dresses her leddyship — and undresses her — like an infant — and brushes her hair! I’ve even heard she washes her! (BIG LAUGH.)
(BABBIE JOINS IN NANNY’S LAUGHTER.)
BABBIE. Excuse me, sir. It sounds so queer!
GAVIN. I can’t help laughing myself!
(They laugh together.)
Small chance, you see, of the like of her drinking tea with the like of me. (HANDS CUP FOR MORE TEA.)
BABBIE. HOW much those English ladies miss! (AN IDEA.)
Maybe she’s kept busy drinking tea with the Captain.
GAVIN. Very likely.
NANNY. There’s a song his sojers sing about him nowadays.
GAVIN (SHOCKED). That offensive Johnny Cope song. Even my congregation sing it.
NANNY. I’ve heard it maddens him.
BABBIE. It will need a lot of tea, Nanny, to wash that song out of him! I know it.
(She sings a verse without accompaniment, hut with gay gestures and waving tea-cup.)
Our Halliwell to Caddam came To catch the wicked weaver men, But deil a weaver had he when He counted them in the morning!
(Chorus sung by babbie and nanny.)
Hey, gallant captain, have you catched her yet? Or has the gipsy beat ye yet? She led you a dance till you were gyte And your sojers laughed in the morning.
GAVIN. Enough! Enough!
NANNY. The Lord forgie me, but fine would I like to join in the second verse myself!
BABBIE. Do, Nanny, do.
(babbie signs encouragement and she and nanny sing.)
For days the English captain proud Kept glowering watch on Caddam Wood, For her that didna as she should, By nicht, nor yet by morning!
(They both sing chorus, and gavin himself, like one bewitched, joins in it babbie artfully stops, so that gavin sings the last two lines alone, nanny also stops, astonished at hearing him, rises and stands with arms round BABBIE. When finished he realises with horror what he has done.)
NANNY. Lassie, we forget that he is the Captain’s friend now. (Sits again.)
(gavin takes up tea-cup.)
BABBIE. He almost forgot himself, didn’t he? (With sudden thought) Nanny, I can guess why the little ladyship has no interest in Mr. Dishart. It is because he is a married man!
(gavin’s cup rattles in saucer.)
NANNY (laughing). A — married man! Mr. Dishart, she takes you for a married man! (Big laugh.)
(gavin tries to carry it off with awkward laugh.)
BABBIE. Is he not? I thought the lady you introduced to the soldiers that night —
(He tries to stop her by shaking a spoon at her.)
(TAKING THE SPOON.) Thank you. I hope I have said nothing unpleasant.
NANNY. Him married! But every single leddy in this countryside would jump at him like a bird at a berry. (Chuckling) Ay, and it’s the talk o’ the town that one o’ them has got him at last.
BABBIE (sharply). Oh?
NANNY. We dinna ken who she is yet, but we ‘re doing our best to find out.
GAVIN (turning away, with a groan). I am sure of that.
(babbie doesn’t like it.)
NANNY. What’s the matter wi’ the lassie?
BABBIE. Nothing! (To gavin) Is this true?
GAVIN (stoutly). It is the first I have heard of it. So you have permission to tell the tale, Mrs. Webster.
NANNY (eagerly). You’ll no be angry? (With enjoyment of the gossip.) It was about a week since — he came home wi’ a flower in his coat, a thing he was never known to do till that night. It was a red rose!
BABBIE (understanding). A red rose!
GAVIN (wanting to stop nanny). Mrs. Webster, I’d rather you didn’t —
BABBIE (turning round again). You gave her permission.
(Her manner has changed to geniality.)
NANNY. You said I could tell! For days he kept it in a glass of water on his study table — and there he would sit looking fond like at it.
GAVIN (half turning away in his chair). Nonsense! Not at all.
NANNY. Jean saw you — that’s the Manse servant. She chanced to be near the door.
GAVIN (hugging his knee). Hoots! I remember I flung the thing out of the window.
BABBIE. You did?
NANNY. Ay! he did, as if it maddened him. Andrew Soutar was sitting on the Manse dyke.
GAVIN (to babbie). There! You see!
NANNY. And then you ran out and picked it up again.
GAVIN (turning to her). How could you — ?
NANNY. Jemima Tosh was peeping through the gate.
GAVIN. Oh! It was she, was it! Mrs. Webster, I swear to you I took so little care of that rose that I don’t even know what became of it.