by Ally Vance
“You,” he spits out at Lillian. “This is your fault. You couldn’t keep your mouth shut and stop the persistent lying that’s become your habit. He told me you were a proficient liar, but you carried on coming to church, so I had hopes for your soul. I was convinced that with Landon in prison, you’d return to the grace of God and cast out the devil within you.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Quinlan shouts, parroting my earlier words to him, only this time they’re directed at his uncle, “Can’t you hear yourself? You’re defending a child molester and a rapist. A man who raped his young daughter!”
“This is what Lillian does. She's a clever little manipulator, twisting the truth to suit her needs. She didn’t want to care for him anymore, so she's crafted this elaborate lie to have him sent away. You aren’t fooling me, Lillian. I knew you’d been tempting him. He came to me begging forgiveness for his daughter’s repeated attempts to seduce him,” Frollo growls, and the madness of his words, renews some of the fear I previously felt around him, long before he ever stole my freedom and my dignity.
“You’re telling me that the hard-on he ground into my belly after he spanked me was my fault? I did nothing to deserve what he did to me!” Lillian screams, and her anguish makes me tighten my arms around her.
“You’ve the devil in you, Lillian. You gave into Satan when you opened yourself to sin with that boy, and then you saw fit to seduce your poor father. You’re a temptress, and now you’ve fallen even deeper into wickedness by lying to obscure the truth,” he sneers, his voice quieter and calmer, but his shoulders are heaving with barely restrained anger.
‘Temptress.’ That’s what Frollo called me. Is that really how he sees her? Lillian is an innocent young woman who’s been defiled and betrayed by her father, yet the pastor’s laying the blame on her. His tirade continues, and Quinlan steps up, defending Lillian against his uncle’s corrupted beliefs.
“No wonder the two of you are friends,” Frollo continues, addressing me now, and I lift my head to stare at him in disbelief.
“What do you mean?” I ask slowly, narrowing my eyes at him.
“Temptresses, both of you, luring men in with your looks and false innocence, corrupting everyone you come into contact with,” he hisses, and my mouth drops open in shock.
Quinlan was right, he never saw me as anything other than an object for his desires. In his mind, I’m the one to blame for his actions. Even though, like Lillian, I did nothing to warrant his behaviour towards me. He never cared about me. He wanted to use me. I’m sure he would've laid the fault at my feet if he’d been caught behaving inappropriately. He wanted me hidden away, imprisoned, so he could sin in secret without ever being found out. It was never about wanting me for who I am, it was about his own satisfaction.
“If anyone here’s at fault, it’s you and Kellen, not me or Lillian,” I snap, shaking my head and taking a step back, bringing Lillian with me.
“That’s it, take Quinlan and Lillian’s side against me. A backstabber and a liar. Perfect company for you. I would’ve cared for you, Esme, and made you my wife someday. You’d have borne my children. Why would you choose those two over me?” he demands, outraged.
“Are you listening to yourself? Someone has truly lost their way, but it’s not them, and it’s not me. We may not be perfect, but it’s because the people we should be able to rely on have shown us nothing other than greed and corruption. Maybe you should take a look in the mirror, Pastor, before you judge them or me,” I counter, coming back just as hard.
“I can see now you’ve all completely lost your way. Come and find me when you’re ready to repent for what you’ve done and ask for forgiveness,” he retorts, ending the conversation.
He storms out of the house, the door slamming shut and rattling the windows in his wake.
“I need to be alone for a little while,” Lillian pipes up glumly, hugging me tightly before releasing me.
“We’ll be down here if you need us,” I reassure her, and she nods, shoulders slumped, as she makes her way slowly back up the stairs to her room.
When the sound of her door closing reaches my ears, I let myself sink down onto the stairs and sit while I thread my fingers through my hair, tugging at the strands.
“Why couldn’t I see it before, Quinlan?” I ask him when he sits down next to me.
He wraps an arm over my shoulders, and I lean into him, staring down at the place his uncle had stood ranting at us like a madman only minutes ago.
“I never thought he was this far gone. He wasn’t just defending his friend. He truly believes that the two of them aren’t at fault for their actions. I’m sorry I dragged you into this, Esme. I should’ve realised his behaviour was beyond the realms of sanity. You’re right that he’s the one to blame, but I don’t think he should be the one to carry it all. I helped him too,” Quinlan says, sighing heavily.
I contemplate his words for a long time before answering, “You did help him, and you shouldn’t have done it; however, the difference between you and Frollo is that you knew it was wrong, even if you didn’t really care that it was. But your uncle used me as an excuse to do the things he wanted and then blamed me. In his mind, I was tempting him. After all, I was the non-believer and an outsider. Before it all went to shit, at least I could tell you cared about me. You were my friend. He only gave a damn about what satisfaction I could give him along with demonstrating his power over both of us.”
EPILOGUE
Lillian
It was intensely painful, telling Officer Maxwell what my dad had done to me. When I was describing what happened, it was almost like someone else was speaking, even though they were my memories flooding my brain and pouring out of my mouth. I wasn’t just recounting it to her, I was reliving every agonising, humiliating, and degrading moment in my mind.
I was glad to have Esme there with me, not just because she's someone I know and trust, but because she's a true friend. Had Esme not been there for me, I don’t think I’d have been able to do it. Landon knew, but I wouldn’t let him say anything. This secret didn’t want to stay buried for some reason, though. It’s been a long time since I've felt like I could trust anyone other than Landon, and with him in prison, I’ve had no one to protect me.
It’s so surreal, standing on the stairs and watching as Officer Brown cuffs my father and wheels him out the front door. Just because he’s disabled, doesn’t mean he’s immune from justice. Ever since my dad started acting strangely around me, I've been weighed down with anxiety and fear. Now I feel lighter than I have in years; the relief is indescribable, and I'm finally free of his presence which lurked like a shadow over my life.
“Hey, are you okay?” Esme’s soft voice wraps around me like a warm embrace, and I’m fighting the urge inside me to cry.
I've done enough crying, and enough hurting over what he did. I’ll never be okay, but he’s gone now, and I might finally be able to move past this.
“No, but I will be. You can move in here with me, if you like? It’ll be fun to live with a friend,” I tell her.
While the police officers collapse and place my dad’s wheelchair in the boot, I meet his eyes one last time as he looks at me through the window of the police car.
I give him the finger. Fuck you, Dad.
Frollo
I've lost her. As soon as I saw Esme walk down those stairs in Kellen’s house with my nephew shadowing her footsteps, I knew.
Watching one of my closest friends get arrested today for raping his daughter was one of the most disturbing things I've ever witnessed. I knew he harboured a touch of the devil in his soul, undoubtedly put there by his daughter, but I never could have imagined him capable of committing such a heinous crime, sinning so wickedly against the flesh of his own blood.
Esme’s words resound over and over in my ears…‘Someone has truly lost their way, but it’s not them, and it’s not me. We may not be perfect, but it’s because the people we should be able to rely on have shown us nothi
ng other than greed and corruption. Maybe you should take a look in the mirror, Pastor.’
In the few weeks that have passed since I was completely overcome by the devil in my soul, I've reflected, I've prayed, and I've sought solitude within my church, desperately seeking answers. Lillian has stopped coming to church and Quinlan’s moved out of my house. It’s his absence and final ultimatum that hit me the hardest. Through my misguided and evil actions, I've isolated and alienated my nephew. I've been blinder than I've any right to be, and it shames me to think of how far I've fallen. As I load my suitcase into the boot of my car, I reflect back on the last encounter I had with Quinlan.
Pain radiates through my nose as a fist connects heavily with it. I never saw it coming, and now I'm leaning against the church door staring in shock and pain at Quinlan while clutching my nose, and thanking God it isn't broken. When I watch him shake with fury in front of me, I begin to wonder if it’s what I deserve. I can feel the blood trickling as he gets in my face. All the friendliness has evaporated from his eyes.
"Stay the hell away from me and Esme, or I’ll be telling the police the real reason Esme ran that night. I don’t care if I have to rot in prison with you and Kellen, I’ll do it. You’re my uncle and I love you, but I can’t stand who you’ve become. I've done some fucked up shit with you, but I suspect you’d have done it anyway, with or without my help,” he growls.
Getting in my face, he looks me straight in the eyes; his voice is deadly and cold like ice as he utters his next words, “Come near her, and I’ll kill you then bury your body in the fucking woods. We’re family, and that will never change, but I won’t have you anywhere near her ever again.”
Who’d have thought Quinlan would grow a pair and stand up to me? I must say I never thought he’d be the one to end up with Esme, but maybe it’s for the best.
I’ve decided to leave my parish for a while to find some peace. I need to seek solitude in order to reflect and rediscover my centre as a man of God. It wasn’t my fault, but I allowed the whispers of the devil to influence and command my actions, and for that reason I must leave, and more importantly repent for all of my sins. I hope that when I return I’ll come back stronger.
I never want to be tempted by the devil again.
Esme
It took several months to get my house repaired and my belongings replaced. I stayed with Lillian throughout the time I was waiting for the repairs to be made, and I helped her during the final months of her pregnancy. So many times, I thought about leaving Stonewood and trying to find somewhere else to start again, but the ties I’ve made hold me here more securely than I could’ve imagined. In spite of her young age and imminent parenthood, Lillian has been a rock for me, and she’s talked me out of running several times.
She’s been there for me, and I’ve been there for her in return. Word eventually got out that Kellen had been arrested for abusing his daughter, but thankfully for Lillian and the baby, she named Archie, the full truth remains a secret. Kellen’s arrest brought to light more truths as well as lies, and Landon was acquitted of the kidnap charges and his sentence reduced.
Secrets don’t tend to stay that way in small towns, but there’s one that has managed to remain buried. The truth behind Pastor Frollo’s extended absence has mercifully remained concealed. Only three people know exactly what happened, and it would be my word against his if I were to vocalise my grievance. Even though Quinlan would back me up, it’s not worth the backlash it would cause me. I’m already ostracised as an outsider, accusing the pastor of kidnap and abuse would just make things worse.
Quinlan has been different in the months since Pastor Frollo left. I can tell he misses his uncle, but he’s been much calmer, and he isn’t the only one who feels more at ease following Frollo’s departure from town.
He’s been wonderful to Lillian and I can tell his presence really soothed her after Kellen was arrested and we were waiting on the verdict for the appeal for Landon.
Without the looming threat of the pastor hovering in the background, I’ve seen more of the Quinlan I got to know before all of this happened. Things have been somewhat strange between us as though neither of us is sure how to progress after everything that’s happened. There’s an air of awkwardness that I’m not sure how to move past, and I can tell it frustrates him as much as it does me. I sense his path is much clearer than the murky trail that seems to be mine, and though I want to step off the track and into the unknown with him, I’m afraid of where it may lead me. There’s still so much darkness lingering around the church and in our past, and an unbidden thrill I’m unsure how to face.
Quinlan
Esme and I have spent the past few months dancing around each other, and I’ve been behaving circumspectly and giving her the space she needs. I fucked everything up in scheming with my uncle, but no more. I need to step up before I lose her, although sometimes with the way she looks at me I’m wondering if she wants me to take control and simply take her.
Esme has moved back into her home, and I’m living in my uncle’s house, but it’s not the same without him here. Every day I find my mind wandering back to Esme, and today my feet have led me to her instead. For the first time since I came to her to confess the truth about my feelings for her and the intent behind mine and Frollo’s actions, I’m nervous. I’ve no way to predict what her response to me will be, but I’m done waiting. I need to know what she wants, and if I have a shot with her after all of this, then I’m going for it. Villains don’t usually get happy ever afters, but I’m going to try, for Esme. She needs to know that my feelings for her haven’t wavered, and if she’ll have me, then I’ll do everything in my power to be a better man.
Ringing the doorbell on her newly repaired and freshly painted front door, I wait, impatiently tapping my foot the longer I’m standing here.
Esme’s face brightens when she sees me, and she moves aside to let me in. “Hey, Quinlan. Come in.”
I silently accept her invitation, and when I brush past her something sparks between us. If her sharp intake of breath is any indicator, I’m not the only one who senses it. I stand in the hallway while Esme closes the door. She slowly turns around, and even though she’s fully aware of my presence, she jumps at the sight of me, and then giggles, defusing some of the tension. The atmosphere between us is charged, and I know when I leave here today I’ll have an answer to the searing question that’s been running on a circuit through my mind: have I completely ruined any chance I have with her, or does she want to be with me?
Neither of us says a word, and the longer we linger awkwardly in the hallway the more tense we become until I can’t fucking take it anymore. Striding towards her, my eyes never leave her emerald ones, and unless I’m mistaken, there’s something swirling in their depths, which mirrors the scorching heat in mine. I stop in front of her, and our breaths mingle as we both wait for my next move.
Unable to hold back any longer, I stroke a finger down her soft cheek. “I’m done trying to keep my distance. I’m losing my mind fighting against this connection we have. I need you like my next breath, Esme. I know words will never make it right, but I’m sorry for everything I put you through. The man I was several months ago isn’t the one standing here right now. I want you to be with me, to be mine, Esme,” I admit, staring at her intently, trying to gauge her reaction.
Her expression flickers with uncertainty for a moment and then with resolve. “I had closed my eyes to the truth because I didn’t want to face it. You created a nightmare that I didn’t want to wake up from. Even as the man I knew then, I wanted you, and as the man you are now, I still do.”
I don’t need to hear anymore. I close the distance between us and capture her lips with mine, and with my hands on her hips, I bring her towards me. Her soft body is in my grasp, and her mouth moves in tandem with mine, and I surrender my soul to her.
Esme wove a spell with her natural grace, charm, and beauty, and I would walk through hellfire to be with her.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Thank you to everyone who came on this journey with me. My fabulous readers, I couldn’t do this without your continued support and love as I continue to work on bringing you every new story.
Thank you to all of my alphas and betas, Renee, Megan, Michelle, Ashley, Amy, and Mari. You ladies provide such an amazing and varied range of feedback and you really help me with everything, including motivation when I’m taking too long!
To my editor Sheena who tirelessly fights with my messy manuscripts. Thank you for all the incredible work you do in sharpening up my words and helping me to translate my own gibberish into something worth reading.
Thank you to Renee who helps keep me on track and manages my schedule of doom to stop me losing track of myself and my releases. Have I driven you crazy yet?
Thank you to all of my friends and family who continue to support me as I open every blank document and pursue the dream I’ve had since I was a teenager. I could not do this without you.
I love you all <3
ABOUT ALLY VANCE
Ally is an International Bestselling Author who writes in the Dark Romance & Horror genres. Ally has been writing since she was a teenager, and it had been a long time dream of hers to finally become a published author. Ally also co-writes with her close friend Michelle under the pen name Ally Michelle. Ally lives in Kent, in the United Kingdom with her husband, stepson and two cats.
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