by Denise Lynn
Uncertain whether to laugh or cry, Avelyn found herself suddenly doing both.
‘You dolt. Look at what you’ve done,’ Fulke chastised Samuel.
His concern only made her more emotional, although Samuel’s hissed curse made her chuckle. ‘I am fine. Truly, nothing is amiss. I have simply found this day a bit taxing, forgive me.’
Samuel steered them towards the side of the Great Hall where it was less crowded around the few remaining tables. She sat down on a bench, then asked, ‘Do you think it possible to get something to drink?’
Both men headed off—each in a different direction—only to return quickly. Samuel carried two ewers and had four goblets tucked behind his sword belt. Fulke held a wooden platter piled high with food.
As Samuel filled three goblets with wine, Fulke set the platter before her on the table. ‘If nothing looks appealing, I can find something that might suit better.’
She looked at the food, knowing it would feed a small village for days. Meat and turnips smothered in a dark sauce, bread—light and dark—fruit, three different kinds of cheese and a variety of sweets overfilled the platter.
She glanced from one man to the other, asking, ‘Should I be worried about your plans for me once you’ve fattened me up?’
His expression darkly serious, Fulke answered, ‘Winter is hard on Roul.’
Samuel with the same foreboding expression added, ‘One as young as you should provide a quite tender meal or two.’
Avelyn burst out laughing loud enough to gain the attention of those gathered several feet away. She wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes and shook her head. ‘I suppose I deserved that for asking such a silly question.’
Both men smiled at her before suddenly stiffening to attention.
‘What is so amusing?’
She jumped at Elrik’s question. While the men had somehow sensed his approach, she hadn’t.
He stood across the table from her and did not appear pleased in the least. From his drawn-together brows, lines creasing his forehead and hard, unsmiling mouth she assumed his discussion with the King had not pleased him.
‘The two of you need to make ready to leave.’ When neither man moved, he nearly growled, ‘Now.’
‘Elrik, they’ve not eaten.’ Avelyn waved at the platter. ‘And I don’t require all of this.’
He plucked an apple and chunk of cheese from the pile before handing the platter to Samuel and an ewer to Fulke. ‘Go.’
He waited until the men left before sitting on the bench across the table from her. Instead of saying anything he pulled out his dagger and started cutting the apple—slowly, methodically into thin slices.
When she could stand his silence no longer, Avelyn reached out to wrap her fingers around his wrist. ‘Elrik, did King David say something to offend you?’
‘Offend me?’ He shook off her hold and resumed slicing the rest of the apple. Finally, when he’d finished and she was near to screaming, he placed the dagger on the table. ‘Other than order me to wed, no.’
She knew he hadn’t been pleased with the order, but he’d raised no objection. Why now did he seem angry? ‘Did I do something to offend you?’
‘Besides making it clear to King David that I was the only man you wished to wed, not at all.’
‘You told me to tell him what I wanted, not what I didn’t want.’
‘Did I not also tell you that there could be nothing between us?’
Avelyn felt her shoulders sag and she couldn’t find the will to summon enough strength to do anything more than let them sink, along with her already waning courage.
‘Yes,’ she answered softly.
‘Yet, knowing how I felt about taking a wife, you still found it acceptable to make him aware of your feelings on the matter.’
Was he insinuating that she’d somehow arranged this behind his back? This had been the King’s doing, not hers. ‘I didn’t—’
He cut her off with a hard, cold glare that made her shiver.
‘You have your wish, Avelyn. We will be wed as soon as the sun breaks in the dawn sky. And then I am leaving. You will remain here.’
‘Alone?’
Elrik made a show of surveying the Great Hall, before he turned back to face her. ‘Not at all.’
She didn’t know any of these people. There could be thousands of them crowding the castle and she would still be alone.
‘But—’
Again, he silenced her with that Roul glare meant to frighten, or warn off, others. He’d had years to perfect that glare and she was not immune to the fear it instilled. ‘You have no need to worry about your father. The King has already sent guards to escort him back to his keep.’
To stop their trembling, she folded her hands together on top of the table. ‘Thank you.’
Elrik covered her clasped hands with one of his. His gentle hold belied his anger, leaving her more confused than afraid. ‘The only thing I want to hear from your lips are the words I will when the priest asks if you accept me as your husband. Do you understand me?’
She nodded. He released her, adding, ‘Then we will be done with each other. King David promised to send word to my brothers to come and get you. They should be here in a few days. I’ve left instructions for your care in my absence.’
He’d essentially just ordered her to keep her mouth shut, but she had to know—had to ask, ‘How long will you be gone?’
‘For as long as it takes to gain full control of Roul. It could be years, or a lifetime.’
His words left her awash in misery and hopelessness. Her dreams of sharing a life with her husband had been shattered by his answer. She could end up spending the rest of her life alone. Barren. No husband. No children. No future. No life.
Avelyn bit her lower lip to keep it from quivering. Once the sharp pain had stilled her fears somewhat, she said, ‘But—’
His icy laugh cut off her words. ‘What? You thought there would be a wedding night? Or that one day soon we would begin years of wedded bliss?’
Yes, she had thought those things, but she wasn’t about to admit those childish hopes to him. Instead she remained silent and stared down at the table.
‘You should have thought a little harder before deciding to let King David know you wanted a wolf for a husband.’
In her defence, she’d said nothing of the kind to the King.
‘A wolf chooses its own mate and I’d chosen to remain alone, unwed. I’ve no need of another wife. No desire to be responsible for another woman, least of all a king’s great-granddaughter.’
He’d been married before? What had happened to his first wife?
‘Avelyn, in case you haven’t realised it yet, you would have been better off wed to Bolk. At least he had no reason to mistrust you, or your family.’
‘Mistrust?’ Now she was thoroughly confused. ‘I have done nothing to prove myself disloyal.’
‘I will warn you once, and only once. If you ever give me reason to think you have betrayed me, I will make you wish we had never met. Do you understand me?’
All she could do was nod. She understood his threat, but not the reason behind it.
‘For now, the only thing you have gained is the protection my name and title can offer, a home with my brothers for as long as they’ll have you and the peace of being left alone.’
If he’d said those things to offer some sort of odd comfort, he was mistaken. She found no comfort in the idea of being left alone—for ever.
Avelyn knew that if she fought to stop the threatening tears they would only escape as a gasping sob that everyone within earshot would hear. So, she didn’t try. Instead, she let the silent tears drip on to the table.
With a soft curse, spoken in a tone that, like his touch, didn’t match the anger he’d been displaying, Elrik rose. He briefly extended a hand to w
ipe a tear from her cheek, before pulling it back, turning around and leaving her.
Frozen in place, Avelyn closed her eyes. Confused by his angry words and gentle touch, both on her hand and just now against her cheek, she didn’t know what to think, or what to do. If he truly did leave her, how would she find any purpose in the future?
‘Lady Avelyn?’
She opened her eyes to find an older woman standing alongside the table. ‘The King sent me to escort you to your chamber.’
Avelyn followed the woman across the hall, desperately trying to ignore the pitying looks from the others. It didn’t matter if they pitied her for her coming marriage to the King’s Wolf, or because of the obvious way Elrik had abruptly left her alone. Either way, she didn’t want their pity—it only served to make her feel worse.
Chapter Eight
Once inside an upper chamber befitting any visiting royal, Avelyn waited silently until the woman left and closed the door behind her. She sat on the edge of the large, curtained bed to stare morosely at the wall where a finely stitched wall hanging depicting a hunting scene filled her with understanding for how the quarry felt—lost and frightened.
Could this day possibly get any worse?
Not only had she once again enraged her father, but King David’s order that she wed Elrik had apparently enraged her husband-to-be also. Was she to go from one home where she was neither wanted nor welcome to another with the same harsh coldness?
Why did it seem that everything she did not want from life was what she was given? The one thing she truly feared was being alone and that was exactly how she would live out her days. Alone and unwanted.
She had so longed to marry a man who might one day come to consider her a friend, a confidant, a partner in life. Instead, she was to be wed to a man who obviously despised her.
Avelyn sighed, knowing her thoughts were running wild because she felt sorry for herself. Yet, she couldn’t begin to sort through all the sadness and dark fancies buffeting her to find one single good thought that could carry her through the coming days.
A knock at her door interrupted the seemingly unending sorrow besetting her.
‘Enter.’
The woman who had just led her up to this chamber came in. ‘My lady, forgive me, but King David requests your presence in the Great Hall for the evening meal.’
Oh, yes, the day could get worse. Instead of being left alone to wallow in her own despair, she was to join a hall filled with people she didn’t know and who, from the looks they’d given her, pitied her more than anything else.
‘Please, could you tell the King I do not feel well and wish only to seek some sleep this night?’ It wasn’t a lie, her head throbbed and stomach churned. Food was the last thing she wanted.
‘No, she can’t.’
She flinched at the sound of Elrik’s voice. He entered the chamber and dismissed the maid before closing the door and then came to stand before her, ordering, ‘Get up and get dressed.’
‘I am dressed.’ She knew he’d seen the tunic spread out on the end of the bed. From the jewels sewn along the sleeve and hem edges, the King had likely supplied the finery. While it was a nice gesture, she had no intention of wearing anything other than the tunic she currently wore. It might be considered poor in comparison to what the other women wore, but at least she had paid for this overgown. Unfortunately, the cost of that kiss had been higher than she ever could have imagined.
‘You are going to wear that?’
‘I paid dearly for this gown and as it is the only clothing I own, yes, I am wearing this.’
To her amazement, he didn’t argue. He nodded. ‘Then you are ready.’
‘No.’
‘No?’ The deep frown creased his forehead. ‘You can’t tell King David, no.’
‘I feel ill.’
He reached down and grasped her wrist. ‘As do I.’
She knew what he meant—he was offhandedly saying he was sick about the idea of marrying her. ‘You need not go out of your way to make me feel worse than I already do. Just go, Elrik. Go.’
He rubbed a hand across his eyes. ‘Avelyn, that is not what I meant.’
‘Yes, you did. You just didn’t mean to say it aloud.’ She pulled away from his hold and rose to cross the chamber to stand by the window opening.
‘It has been a long day for all involved.’ He didn’t sound angry, his voice filled more with frustration than rage. ‘Let me escort you to the evening meal. It will go far in stopping the tongues from wagging.’
‘Now you think to be kind? Why? What do you care? You won’t be here.’
‘But you will. And while I may not want a wife—’
‘May not? You made it perfectly clear you do not want me as your wife.’
He ignored her statement and continued, ‘That choice has been taken from me. I do not want you to be without the protection my name can offer.’
‘So, you want to parade me around before everyone so there is little doubt I belong to King David’s Wolf?’
‘Yes.’
Avelyn stared at him. ‘You cannot be serious.’
‘Very.’
‘And once you leave, how will this help me?’
‘Tongues will still wag, but it will be done behind your back, not to your face. By the time any of the craven fools below summon the courage to say anything directly to you, my brothers will be here and that flimsy courage will vanish.’
What he said made some sort of odd sense. That didn’t mean she wanted to spend any time in his company.
‘I cannot bear more of their pity. Why can you not understand that?’
He joined her at the window. ‘And why can you not understand they only pity you because you permit them to do so? Instead of showing them how sad and upset you are, act as if this is what you want. Their pity will be wasted on one who doesn’t need it.’
‘I am not good at hiding what I think or feel.’
‘I never noticed.’
She huffed at his outright lie.
‘It is easy, Avelyn. You do it like this.’
He turned his face away for a moment and, when he once again looked at her, she gasped at the dark shimmer in his half-closed eyes, the softness of his lips curved into the one-sided smile she’d come to know. He reached out to draw her close for a kiss.
For a moment, for one breathtaking, mind-robbing heartbeat or two, she believed he wanted her, desired her.
The truth quickly won out and she broke the kiss to look up at him. Once again, the hard line of his mouth had chased away the smile.
She pushed free of his hold. ‘I don’t think I can do that.’
He tucked her hand into the bend of his arm and moved towards the door. ‘Then you need to learn how quickly. Make believe it is just the two of us back out on the road.’
Yet again, he was giving her no choice in the matter. Whether she wanted to or not, she was going to have to try to do her best. It was going to be crowded and loud in the Great Hall, the distraction might help her do as he asked. She took a breath and said, ‘I can try.’
Nearing the bottom of the steps, Elrik softly said, ‘Chin up. Smile. And breathe.’
She glanced up at him, surprised to see him break out into a pathetic grin. Avelyn leaned against his arm. ‘That is truly awful. How about if you glare and I’ll smile. That would seem more normal.’
‘That depends. Let me see your fake smile.’
She crossed her eyes, wrinkled her nose and parted her lips wide.
Elrik burst into laughter, drawing attention to their entrance.
He quickly swallowed his mirth and leaned his head down to whisper, ‘Perfect. That will stop them from pitying you.’
Thankful that she had made him laugh, she smoothed out her features. ‘Instead, they will pity the poor beleaguered wolf.’
‘And rightly so.’
This was all she had wanted. He didn’t need to ever fall in love with her. She had no trust in love, or any declaration of tender emotions, they were without merit and as useless as shredded cloth. All she ever wanted was someone to talk with, laugh with, jest with. Someone, who at the end of the day, still wanted to share her company. Someone who could trust her without reservation.
Elrik lowered his arm and placed a hand at the small of her back to guide her through the crowd. The heat of his touch, even through the layers of her clothing, set her heart to flutter. She barely noticed the people she smiled at, or those who nodded at her and Elrik.
What she did notice, other than the confusion flooding her body, was that Samuel and Fulke tracked their movements. Even though the two men remained close to the wall, they kept pace with her and Elrik as they made their way around the Great Hall, never more than a few strides away.
His men were loyal and extremely watchful in the crowded hall. They spoke to no one and ignored the women who were brave enough to approach the Wolf’s guards. Instead, their attention was focused on her and Elrik at all times.
Samuel winked at her and she blushed at having been caught watching them so closely. Fulke said something that had the two men laughing.
‘Stop distracting the men. They are here for our protection, not for your amusement.’
She looked down at her feet and muttered, ‘I am sorry.’
Elrik slid his hand across her back to rest at the side of her waist and tightened his fingers to pull her closer. ‘Up. Look up.’
When she forced her gaze up from the floor, he said, ‘I wasn’t complaining, Avelyn. They wink at you, you blush, they laugh—what do you think the people who witnessed that interaction will assume?’
‘That I am too familiar with your men.’
‘It will make it difficult for any here to take our marriage seriously if you are flirting with other men the night before the ceremony’
‘I never—’ His hand tightened, reminding her to lower her voice. In a softer tone, she said, ‘That was never my intent.’
‘I know that. But the others here expect you to act besotted with your husband-to-be.’