“And?”
“I don’t know. I have one very important piece of my life in Hawaii, and a lot of really important ones here. I’ve got to decide if that one piece is worth sacrificing everything. I’m really confused right now. I didn’t think coming home would be this complicated or I would miss this place so much.”
“Take your time then. I probably shouldn’t have sprung things on you so soon, but I wanted you to know there could be a life for you here, too. Now, let’s go back to friendship mode until your brother gets here. No matter what you decide to do, I want this trip to be good for both of us. You shouldn’t worry so much. You’ll know what’s right by the end of the week.”
“I guess you’re right. Do you even have any idea what’s going on in this movie?”
“No. I was asleep before some guy rudely woke me up, remember?”
“Hey, you were kind of using that guy as a human pillow.”
“Be quiet. You know you like it,” she said before they saw Paul’s headlights out front.
“All right, I guess that’s my ride. Will I see you tomorrow?” Jasper asked.
“Yeah. I’ll come over some time in the afternoon, if that’s okay.”
“When has it not been okay for you to come over? I’m looking forward to it,” Jasper said and gave her a quick hug.
For the first time, a hug between them was awkward. It shouldn’t have been. They were just friends. Then again, it certainly changes things when your best friend says they love you.
“Goodnight, Jasper,” Lily said and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
Jasper walked out of there feeling extremely confused. Paul immediately noticed how troubled his brother looked. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but something had definitely happened with Lily.
“What’s going on with you? Are you not staying with Lily just because you have a girlfriend? She was your best friend here. You’ve known her forever, so you probably shouldn’t even consider her dating material.”
“She told me she loved me tonight.”
“Oh, then I definitely get why you didn’t want to stay. Then again, there are worse things than a beautiful girl who’s a great friend telling you that she loves you. What did you say back to her?”
“I didn’t say I loved her as anything more than a friend. She also said a lot of other stuff. Lily told me I could have a life with her and my family. Before I could completely shut things down, she told me to think about it this week.”
“And what do you think?”
“I’m not quite sure. I love Emma with all of me. I’m not even exaggerating either. We’ve been through a lot together over the last few months, and I truly do love her. I can see myself spending the rest of my life with her, but what if that’s a mistake? By being with her, I’m basically saying goodbye to my whole family. I love being around Lily, but I don’t love her like Emma. Do you think I ever could?”
“The selfish side of me wants to say yes because I want you around. The truth is I don’t know. Only you know that.”
“What would you do?”
“I don’t know, but believe it or not, you’re really lucky.”
“You have a hard time distinguishing between good and bad, don’t you?” Jasper asked sarcastically.
“I get that it’s a tough decision, but it’s a good problem to have. You could have a life in Hawaii with the girl you’ve loved since you were fourteen, or you could stay here with a great family and a beautiful girl who already loves you. You’ve just got to decide what you want. I’ll support you either way. You can’t plan your entire life around your family, but at the same time, you can’t plan it around one person. Make sure Hawaii is where you want to be, no matter what anyone else wants.”
“You’re a lot smarter than I used to give you credit for.”
“This is what I’ve been saying for years. Now, just relax. You can think about all of this in the morning.”
They talked about other things on the way home, but Jasper never stopped thinking about Emma and his life in New Jersey. What was right, and would people get hurt based on his choice? After they got home and he was in bed, he was still thinking about it. His phone ringing pulled him out of his thoughts, however. He looked over to see that it was Emma calling.
“Hey, I’m glad it’s you, but what are you doing up so late?” Jasper asked.
“You never called me. You said you would call once you were settled in, but you didn’t. I was starting to get worried.”
“I’m sorry. It just slipped my mind.”
“It’s okay. You don’t sound happy, though. Is something wrong?”
“Kind of, but I’ll be all right.”
“Jasper, you can talk to me. What’s going on?”
“It’s just strange being back. I love it, but it’s weird seeing so many old places and people.”
“You’re still coming back to me, aren’t you?”
Jasper didn’t answer at first. Was this the time to tell her how he was feeling? It would certainly be better to do it before Evan gave her the present from him, but then again, what if he decided she was his future? Then his doubts would hurt her for no reason.
“Jasper?” Emma asked.
“Of course I’m coming home. I couldn’t be without you for too long. I love you, Emma. I’m sorry if I sound weird. I’m just really tired. It was a long flight, and then Paul took me out, so I’m running on fumes.”
“It’s okay. I love you, too. Get some sleep and call me tomorrow. Don’t forget this time, though. I want to talk to you at least once a day while we’re apart.”
“I’ll remember. I love you. Goodnight,” Jasper said.
As he got off the phone, his mom walked into the room. She looked tired. Jasper felt a little bad. He had probably woken her up by talking.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I just . . .” Jasper managed to say before she hugged him.
“It’s okay. I’m glad to be woken up by you for once. I missed you so much,” Chloe said.
“Me, too. I missed all of you,” he said and sighed.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s really complicated. Are you sure you’re up for a talk this late?”
“Just tell me. I’m always interested in trying to help you.”
Jasper recapped his night and told her how much he missed home. Then he told her that he truly loved Emma. Chloe thought for a second before speaking. This was tough for her because all she wanted was her son home, but only considering her feelings before speaking would be selfish.
“What do you think I should do?” Jasper asked.
“Are you in love with Lily?”
“Not at all. I love her as a friend, and I can’t say for sure that I could never love her, but I have no romantic feelings for her now.”
“What about Emma? How do you feel about her, and don’t just say you love her. Tell me what that love really means.”
“I would do anything for her. Just seeing her every day is enough to make me happy. We do everything together. It’s almost like we’re inseparable sometimes. She almost came with me on this trip. I could see myself married to her one day and being very happy with my life. I would miss you, and . . .”
“I don’t want to know about how much you miss us. I just want to know about her.”
“Why?”
“Because as difficult as it is for me to say this, I have to. One day you’re going to have a wife and kids, and of course I want you to be wherever I am, but your number one concern will be them. That’ll be your family. You might miss your family now, and God knows we miss you, but if you really think Emma could be the most important person in your life, then let her.”
“Wow. I never expected for you to say that.”
“I didn’t want to. You’re my little boy, and I wanted to tell you to come home and be with Lily. That would certainly make my life easier, but Jasper, you’ve loved Emma since you were a child. You don’t give up on something like that. It’s your choice, and t
he mom in me wants you to come home, but the person who truly knows what’s best for you wants you to go back to the girl you love.”
“Thanks. Everything seemed so complicated before, but when you talk about it, it’s simple like it should be.”
“I moved pretty far away from everyone I knew to be with your dad, so I know a little something about this. If you think you can be happy with Emma, then take a shot at it. If it doesn’t work, we’ll still be here waiting. Now, go to sleep. It’s two in the morning, and I think your dad’s going to wake us up early for breakfast in the morning. I love you,” Chloe said and kissed him on the forehead.
The decision had been made. Emma was still his future. It was tough to leave behind the only life he had known, but Jasper might have just been finding the thing that everyone searches for when they’re young - a family of their own.
Chapter 15
The Last Christmas
Christmas Eve
Over the next couple of days, Jasper enjoyed his time at home. It wasn’t easy to. After he told Lily what his decision was, she distanced herself from him. He hadn’t thought about it before, but when someone says they love you and you reject them, there’s no going back to being just friends. She was hurt, and even if he tried to make things right, they weren’t. She wouldn’t even talk to him. It wasn’t all bad, though. Jasper was getting to spend Christmas Eve with his family, and he now knew for sure what his future held. It was all about one girl in Hawaii. That still didn’t mean he didn’t want to make things right with Lily before he went home, though. Before he could do that, he had some business to attend to. It was already late, and he was in bed. He knew Emma would be up, though. Jasper called her. It was time to give Emma her present.
“It’s good to hear from you. How did you know I wouldn’t be asleep, though?” Emma asked.
“Please. You’re just like me. There’s no way either of us is sleeping the night before Christmas.”
“True. I wish we could spend it together. I didn’t even get to give you my gift.”
“That’s okay. You can give it to me when I get home.”
“So this is home now?”
“Wherever you are is. I know that for sure now. This trip has made me see what’s most important in my life.”
“Then I’m glad you went. Now, I just have to know. What did you get me?”
“I can actually give it to you now, if you want.”
“I don’t understand. How?”
“I got Evan to help me out a little, and your Christmas present has been in the bottom drawer of your nightstand since last night. The only question is if . . .”
“Hold on a second,” Emma said and searched through the drawer.
She found a jewelry box with a ring inside. It looked expensive, and Emma’s mind went in so many directions when she saw it. It was a diamond ring. Was this what she thought it was? Was Jasper actually asking her to marry him? She thought they were too young, but at the same time, she was sure he was the one. Before she could even think about it, she blurted out an answer.
“Yes!”
“Yes to what? Do you even know what I was going to ask you?”
“It’s a diamond ring. I think it’s pretty clear what you were going to . . .”
“I messed up pretty badly here, didn’t I? I’m not proposing.”
“Oh . . .”
“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten you a diamond ring if . . .”
“It’s okay. I don’t know what I was thinking. We haven’t even been together for a year. I answered emotionally, and I shouldn’t have. I do want to know why you got a beautiful diamond ring, if it isn’t an engagement ring, though.”
“It’s a promise ring. Given, it’s a lot nicer than most promise rings, but you’re a lot better than other girls, so I figured you deserved something special. It’s not me asking you to marry me, but it is me saying that I’m going to be with you from now on . . . that is, unless you don’t want me to.”
“My answer is still yes. I love it. Be a little more upfront about what you’re doing next time, though. I actually thought you were asking me to marry you.”
“Maybe I should have. It turns out you would’ve said yes.”
“I panicked when I saw the ring. Of course I said yes because it’s you, but it would be a mistake to get married now. I mean, don’t you think?”
“Not at all, but it would certainly freak our parents out, so we should probably give it a little more time. To be honest, I was nervous enough about giving you a promise ring. If I were asking you to marry me, I would’ve been totally flipping out.”
“Why were you nervous?”
“Because we haven’t been dating that long, and what I’m essentially saying is that I’m going to love you forever. Forever is a long time, and I thought you might be scared off.”
“I would be more scared of not having you around for the rest of my life.”
“Good. I can’t wait to get back to you. What have you guys been doing?”
“Well, we had our traditional Christmas Eve thing with my grandparents and all of our friends. It was fun, and I loaded up on new clothes, so that was a bonus. When our get-together was over, Evan and I opened one present, as is tradition in the Grey household. I feel a little funny about waiting up tonight for Christmas morning. I’m an adult now. Should my parents be staying up to put presents under the tree for me when I’m in college?”
“I wouldn’t protest it. That’s what my parents are doing right now. I think it’s fine for you to let them baby you a little until you have children of your own.”
“If that’s the case, then they’re never going to stop putting out presents for me on Christmas morning.”
“I don’t get it. Why?”
“Because I’m never having kids. It seems like a pretty big headache, and let’s be honest here. Who wants to squeeze a human being out of them?” Emma joked.
“True, but you’re just kidding, right?”
“Kind of, but I really don’t want children. I just don’t think a big family is for me. I’m happy with finding the person I love and just living my life out with him. What about you?”
“I think we’ve found the number one way we’re different. I want a big family. I guess it doesn’t matter, though. We have a long time to sort things out. I’m sure you’ll change your mind about kids later.”
“No. I don’t think so. I have all the family I need now that I have you, and children don’t really like me. Honestly, I’m not very good with them. Most girls have this picture of what they’ll be like as a mom, but I never even thought about it. Maybe that instinct just isn’t in me.”
“It will be. Trust me. We’ll . . .”
“Jasper, this isn’t a deal breaker, is it? I really don’t think I’m going to change my mind about this. I’ll keep an open mind because it seems to be important to you, but I might never want kids. Is that all right? You just gave me a promise ring, and I hope you can keep that promise. I would understand if you had to think about it after what I just told you, though.”
“No. I don’t have to think about anything. Trust me on this, Emma. You’ll always be enough for me, but there’s going to come a day when you want more. If that day never comes, I’ll be fine, but it’s going to.”
“Good, and for what it’s worth, I hope you’re right. My parents would hate it if I never gave them grandchildren. Anyway, let’s change the subject. Did you hear about the comet that’s heading toward Earth? They’re calling it Ira.”
“Yeah, I saw something about that today. They said it would be here in about five months. From what I heard, if it hits Earth, we’re all in trouble.”
“Maybe you should’ve been asking me to marry you. We might all be dead in a few months.”
“Relax. They’ll break it up with a missile or laser, and we’ll all be fine. That is, unless you want me to ask you. I could be persuaded to marry my best friend.”
“Okay, then ask.”
“Emma Grey, will you marry me?”
“Are you crazy? We’re entirely too young, and you don’t make nearly enough money for me to consider marrying you. Do you think I’m going to marry a bum? What’s gotten into you, Jasper Ellis?” Emma teased.
“See, this is why I would’ve been terrified to ask you to marry me. Not only did you say no, but you completely ripped my heart out in the process.”
“I’m just joking, and you know it. This is my real answer to that question. Ask again later.”
“So like now?”
“Later.”
“Wow. My girlfriend is turning into a magic 8 ball.”
“When you ask again, I’ll say yes, so don’t ever worry. Just make sure the timing’s right, and you’re not asking me over the phone. I’m just saying that I want to be wined and dined before I commit,” she teased.
“That can definitely be done. So on a completely unrelated note, I’m about to book us a table at the most expensive restaurant possible the night I come back.”
“I’m going to call your bluff right here. You’re not ready to get married, and I’ll show up for that dinner just to watch you sweat as you try to figure out what in the world you’re supposed to say to me.”
“All right. I was just bluffing, but for the record, it could never be a mistake to marry my best friend.”
“Agreed, but let’s change the subject. All this marriage talk is making me actually consider it. How has your trip been?”
“Oh, it’s been fine,” Jasper said in a not too convincing way.
“Come on. I know you. What’s really been going on?”
“Okay, but this isn’t normally the type of thing you talk about with your girlfriend.”
“That’s why I double as your best friend, so just tell me. I’m sure I’ll be able to help.”
“I have this friend from high school. Her name’s Lily, and she was probably the only person who cared that I existed during that time. We had a lot of fun together, and that was great. It was simple until I came home. She confessed that she had always loved me and said I could have a life here with her, if I wanted it. She told me not to answer until the end of the week, but I knew what I wanted from the start. I told her the day after we talked that I couldn’t stay because I loved you. I also made it very clear that we should still be friends and how much I valued her. Lily didn’t react how I hoped, though. She was insulted, and she hasn’t spoken to me since. I know where my heart lies, but I still need to make things right. She was the best friend I had in New Jersey, and I can’t stand the thought of our friendship ending this way.”
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