Meredith blinked in surprise. “Wait a minute. You always back me up. That’s what you do. You sit there, you feed me something yummy and you tell me that I’m right about everything and then I go out and do my thing. What’s with all the judging?”
Layla snorted and rolled her eyes. “Is that what you think I do? Maybe when you’re right that’s what I do. When you came in torn up about how to make things right with Kam and Bailey I supported you in that, because it was the right thing to do. Meredith, we’re friends. I don’t support you when you make mistakes or the wrong decisions.”
Meredith frowned at Layla, not feeling serene at all anymore. As a matter of fact, the donut she’d just eaten was now sitting in her stomach like a heavy rock. “And you think I’m wrong and that I’m making a mistake?”
Layla nodded her head and stood up. “Absolutely. And can I point out how ironic this is? Here you are in the business of love. You plan weddings when you can and you just started a website where people can go to find true love. And here you are, you could have it and you’re throwing it away.”
Meredith licked her lips and looked away, feeling almost ashamed. “I don’t need to justify my decisions to anyone,” she said calmly.
Layla shrugged and wiped down the table. “You’re right. But you will need to justify them to yourself and from where I’m sitting, I don’t see how that’s possible,” she said quietly before walking away.
Meredith glared at her back and stood up, throwing away her napkin and walking out of the bakery without another word. Layla Bender was a brat. B.R.A.T. Who did she think she was telling her that she was making a mistake by choosing not to have a relationship with Asher? Like it was even any of her business. Okay, she had told her everything, so she had invited her opinion, but if it wasn’t going to be a good one, then she should have just kept it to herself.
Meredith glared all the way to Cleo’s yoga studio which was practically next door to Tai’s Diner. She could kill two birds with one stone. She walked in and tacked the notice to the cork board holding all of the other notices. She read a few of them and smiled. Most of them were for classes being held at the studio. One was on how to make your own Kombucha. One was on how to cook with hemp hearts. The other was on how to get your chakra levels to their peak. She snorted at that one and turned around and came face to face with Maya, one of Cleo’s most popular yoga instructors. Meredith was slightly intimidated by her. She was tall, almost six foot and so toned you could see every muscle in her arms accentuated. Her face was gorgeous. She had to be a mixture of something because her large, mocha brown eyes were too exotic. Her lips were full and her cheek bones were high. She had runway model written all over her but instead, she was working for Cleo in a little town like Fircrest. So strange.
“Hi, Maya. Is Cleo around?” she asked politely trying to make nice with Cleo’s friends.
Maya smiled and motioned with her chin behind her. “She’s talking a beginner class through the basics before I take over. Did you find something interesting on our board? You sounded amused a second ago.”
Meredith blushed and fidgeted with her flyers. “Oh no, not at all. I, um… just thought it was interesting all of the classes that you have advertised here. My flyer on our new dating website doesn’t exactly fit in with chakras and Kombucha.”
Maya lifted a perfectly arched eyebrow. “A dating website? For Fircrest? You have to be kidding me,” she said and stepped around Meredith to stare at the flyer she’d just hung.
Meredith cleared her throat and smiled sunnily. “And if you join in the next few days you can use that code to get a membership for fifty percent off. Next week it will be at regular price. I joined myself and I’ve already been matched,” she said lightly, trying to sell their site.
Maya tore off one of the tear aways and slipped it into a small hidden pocket in her bright purple yoga pants. “This is an answer to prayers. I’ve been dying of boredom ever since I moved here. I could use a social life,” she said with feeling before turning and walking back into the first yoga room.
Meredith clapped her hands and jumped up a few times before walking over and peeking into the room. She watched as Maya put an arm around Cleo’s shoulder and began talking. Cleo smiled at everyone and then made her way slowly to the door. Meredith frowned, wishing her friend could just burn the darn crutches but knew that they were helping her broken pelvis to heal. She had about another month or two depending on her progress.
“What a fun surprise. You never come down to the studio,” Cleo said as she turned and shut the door, blocking out the new age music that would have put Meredith to sleep in five minutes.
“Well, you said I could put up a flyer if I wanted to. Maya is going to join, I think,” she said, looking through the window in the door at the impossibly beautiful girl and trying not to be jealous.
Cleo grinned and looked back over her shoulder. “I’m so glad. I wanted to set her up with Pule, but he refuses me. And Asher, … well, anyways. So yeah, I’m happy to have your flyer up. We have so many cute girls who are single who come in here every day.”
Meredith ignored the mention of Asher’s name and sighed happily. “Exactly. I just got through hanging a flyer up at the bakery and my next stop is Tai’s place. Rob even said I could hang a flyer in the employee lounge. After that, the grocery store, community board and the library.”
Cleo walked with her to the front door. “I think this is going to be amazing. You’re amazing. You’re so driven and ambitious and determined to make this work. I’m excited for you,” she said before leaning over and giving her a quick hug.
Meredith thought for a moment about telling Cleo what Layla had just said to her but she was very afraid that Cleo would be with Layla on this one so she kept her mouth shut and waved goodbye. She walked a few steps down the road and entered Tai’s Diner. She loved the 1950’s Revival look and all of the silver, red and black. She glanced around the walls at all of the pictures of Tai and his family and Cleo hanging on the walls and felt her heart swell. Talk about ambition. Tai had a ton of it and he had done amazing things with the old building in the last couple of months. Of course it didn’t hurt that he was an amazing cook.
“Hey, Tai!” she called out as Tai caught sight of her and immediately left a customer to come over.
“Hey, there. You ran out of here so fast earlier I didn’t get a chance to come over and say hi. It looked like you guys were having a very intense business meeting,” he said, motioning for her to sit down on a stool at the counter.
Meredith sat down and nodded her head. “Very intense. Our dating website is up and running and we already have close to fifty clients so far. Pule just signed up as a matter of fact.”
Tai grinned and crossed his muscular arms over his chest. “What about you? A cute single girl like you should sign up for her own dating website. Unless of course, you’ve already found your prince charming…,” he said with a twinkle in his dark brown eyes that had her blushing and looking away.
“Prince charmings and I don’t go very well together. Look at my track record,” she said lightly, wanting to change the subject.
Tai frowned at her and shook his head. “Don’t be cynical, Meredith. Everyone deserves and needs love. Even you.”
Meredith cleared her throat and studied her flyer as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. “Well, life isn’t exactly fair, is it? I thought I had prince charming twice now and my fiancé died on me and Kam chose Bailey over me. Why in the world would I set myself up for another heartache?” she asked softly.
Tai nodded his head. “It’s okay to be scared, Mer. We all are. I was nervous to propose to Cleo but I knew that loving her and being loved by her would be the greatest joy I could ever have.”
Meredith looked up and stared into Tai’s earnest face and felt like weeping for some reason. “Tai, you just don’t get it. I knew I was going to marry Kam. I knew it in my bones. I never doubted it for a second. I could see my whole life
with him from the beginning to the end. Sure, I said and did some stupid things along the way, but he was my core. My anchor. And when that life was taken away, I was stripped bare. I was so vulnerable and so … so alone I thought I would die from it,” she said, feeling her voice catch.
She covered her mouth in horror, begging herself to not cry in public. Get a grip, girl, she ordered herself sternly. She felt Tai’s hand on her arm and she looked up, quickly wiping a tear off her cheek.
“Oh, Meredith. I’m so sorry,” Tai said gently.
Meredith nodded her head jerkily. “Do you know what it’s like to offer your heart and soul, your whole life to somebody and have them not want it? Not want you? It’s devastating,” she whispered. “I could barely function or think or feel after I realized Kam was serious about loving Bailey. About not loving me anymore. I’ve never felt pain like that before. How can I put myself out there again? How can I trust my instincts where love is concerned when I was so sure before? I would have sworn my life away on being with Kam forever.”
Tai lowered his head and stared at the counter. “You know what? You need a grilled cheese sandwich.”
Meredith held up her hand and shook her head as she tried to smile. “No thanks, Tai. I just came by to drop off this flyer. I don’t have any … I mean, I’m pretty full right now,” she said quickly.
Tai narrowed his eyes at her. “It’s on the house. You’re my friend, Meredith. You’re hurting and you need some comfort food. That’s why I’m here,” he said and disappeared in the back.
Meredith wiped her wet cheeks and turned and glanced around the diner. Tai had two waitresses working a good lunch crowd and his cousin Aleki helped him cook in the kitchen giving him the time he needed to meet his customers and chat when he wanted to.
Five minutes later, Tai brought her out a sandwich and a glass of milk. “Now eat this up and I don’t want to hear another word about it,” he ordered sternly as his kind eyes watched her.
Meredith smiled and nodded her head before promptly bursting into tears. Tai sighed and hopped over the counter easily. He picked up her plate with one hand and pulled her off the stool and over to a private booth with his other. He sat her down and handed her a few napkins as she cried into her arms.
When she was cried out, she sat up, wiped her face and took a bite of the still warm cheese sandwich. She closed her eyes as the flavors of butter and cheese did what they did best, comfort a hurting soul.
“Wow, this is good,” she finally said a moment later and put her sandwich down. “You should open a diner or something,” she said with a small smile.
Tai nodded his head. “Yeah, I might just do that. So I have to ask, do you still have feelings for Kam? Is that why you don’t want to, uh . . . give it a go with, um… anyone else?”
Meredith wiped her nose on a napkin and sighed. “You can say Asher’s name, Tai. I won’t freak out and run out of the diner or anything and no. I don’t think so anyways. I mean, I’ll always love Kam. It’s kind of impossible not to love him, but I’m not in love with him anymore. But I’m scared that losing him killed part of my heart.”
Tai frowned and shook his head. “No, Meredith. Your heart is just fine. Losing Kam might have killed your faith in love though.”
Meredith sighed, feeling a headache creep up the back of her neck. She always got the worst headaches from crying. “I do believe in love. Are you kidding? Seeing you and Cleo fall in love and get engaged, how could I not? And then there’s Jane and Tate and Ivy and Becket and on and on and on,” she said feeling even more depressed now for some reason.
“I get love. I see that it works for people. It just doesn’t work for me,” she said slowly in a low voice.
Tai sat back and sighed. “And giving it just one more chance is out of the question?”
Meredith shrugged and took another bite of her sandwich. “I can’t gamble this time, Tai. Asher and I are business partners. If this goes down in flames, there goes my chance of being a successful business owner and paying my bills. Do you know how embarrassing it will be if I have to move back in with my mom and dad?”
Tai gave her a half-smile. “Say you gave it a try and it didn’t work out. You don’t think you and Asher could be polite and caring friends who own a business together?”
Meredith raised an eyebrow and stared at him for a moment until he laughed softly. “Sorry, forgot who I was talking to. You know, that’s actually what I like best about you. You’re so passionate about life and the people in it. You love with all of your heart and you put yourself so completely out there.”
Meredith laughed cynically. “You forgot to point out the other side of the coin. When I love this passionately, I also hate this passionately. I make a great friend but a horrible enemy,” she said, wishing she could have been a softer, easier going person.
Tai laughed. “Well, there is that. But I still say you should rethink your ban on love. I think you and Asher are mature enough to handle a relationship and a business. And in case you’re not, you have Brogan there, ready to put you in time out and keep the peace if things get crazy.”
Meredith stood up and put her napkin on her plate. “Yeah, but he shouldn’t have to be put in that position, should he? Thanks for the sandwich and the advice. Will you hang this for me?” she asked, handing him the flyer.
Tai stood up and gave her a hug before taking the flyer from her. “Of course I will. You’ve supported me in my dreams, I’m happy to support you in yours.”
Meredith waved goodbye and was grateful to walk outside into the crisp, January weather. She lifted her hot face to the cool breeze and hoped her eyes wouldn’t be red and puffy when she walked in The Iron Skillet. Who knew that passing out flyers would be so emotional?
She walked the four blocks over to the restaurant in a moody frame of mind as she thought over everything Layla and Tai had said to her. They were calling her out on her behavior and she didn’t like it. She could freely admit that she was prideful and didn’t like anyone telling her what to do or not do. But Layla and Tai were her friends. They cared about her and were honest enough to tell her the truth. Any normal person would probably appreciate that and take it into consideration.
That was the problem. She didn’t like the truth. Thinking about how she’d told Tai about her feelings for Kam had opened up the wound a little. And maybe that was a good thing. Had she completely healed from that heartache? She put a tentative hand over her heart and closed her eyes. It still hurt a little. It still ached. But she wasn’t on her knees. Did that mean she wasn’t ready to love? Or did that mean that loving someone new was the only way to completely heal from Kam’s loss?
Meredith frowned at the low-lying gray clouds as she felt the drizzle begin. She pulled her hat lower over her forehead and wished she’d thought to bring her umbrella. What idiot walked outside in Fircrest, Washington in January without an umbrella?
Probably someone who wanted to feel the rain maybe. She felt the coolness hit her cheeks and was able to let a few more tears fall unashamedly. Even remembering the pain from losing Kam was hard. She just loved too hard and too much. So much so that she even scared herself sometimes.
She winced as she remembered her fight with Bailey over Kam in the kitchen of The Iron Skillet and how Taryn had interceded and humiliated her. She was tired of making a fool of herself. But most of all, she was just so tired of being hurt and disappointed.
How in the world could she gamble on Asher? Sure he was a good kisser and a good friend and smart and funny and kind of sweet too. So what if he looked at her with those deep, dark looks that made her breathless. None of it mattered because something would happen and she’d lose him, just like she lost everybody.
Meredith kicked a stray leaf out of her way and moaned. Why did life have to be so complicated and hard? She walked up to the front door of The Iron Skillet and opened it with a yank. She was in no mood for any pep talks or one on ones. She was just going to drop off the dang flyer and then go
home and take a very long bubble bath followed by a Hobbit marathon. Watching Bilbo fight the good fight always put her in a better mood for some reason. That, or watching Legolas leap around boulders and houses.
She waved half-heartedly at the hostess and walked back to Taryn and Rob’s offices. Brogan had already talked to them and gotten the okay but she wanted to make sure. She could see that Rob’s office door was shut and the light was off, so she moved on to the next office. Of course she’d have to talk to Taryn today of all days. Rob was so easy going and charming. Taryn? Kind of the exact opposite.
She knocked lightly on the open door and poked her head in. She saw Taryn on the phone and held up the flyer and smiled brightly. Taryn narrowed her eyes at the flyer and held up her finger as she finished her call. Meredith tried to hide a sigh and walked over and sat on the chair in front of Taryn’s desk and pushed the flyer towards Taryn as she set her cell phone down.
“So you want to put a flyer in our employee lounge, huh?” she asked, picking up the flyer and frowning at it as if it was dirty.
Meredith sat up straighter and nodded her head, trying to channel Asher. He was always very confident and blunt with Taryn and that seemed to work best. “That’s right. Brogan said you already gave him the go ahead but I wanted to make sure it was okay with you first.”
Taryn nodded her head with a small smile. “Good. Well, it’s fine with me.”
Meredith sighed in relief and stood up, snatching the flyer back and moving towards the door. She was getting closer and closer to that bubble bath every second.
“Not so fast.”
Meredith slowly turned around and swallowed nervously before straightening her shoulders and smiling brightly. “What’s up?”
Taryn pointed to the vacated chair and waited while she walked back and sat down. “It’s come to my knowledge recently that you and I have a lot in common.”
My One and Only: Book 1 in the Love and Weddings Trilogy Page 13