by B. T. Narro
Desil lay on top of the sheets, suddenly aware of all the blood he and Beatrix had shed in these two bedrooms. Sheets and blankets were ruined, and yet Alabell showed no care about it. She was too nice, like her daughter.
“Thank the Hillers for me,” Desil said as Kirnich started to leave. “Tell them their kindness is a beacon of light in a dark world of gloom. They’re a shining example to others.” He gestured with his tired arm. “Say it just like that. Apt. Poetic.”
“It was neither apt nor poetic, Desil, but you can still tell them yourself tomorrow. Close your eyes and don’t open them until morning.”
“You’re going to be a crank of an old man, vigilant warrior. You must embrace life and every moment of glory it offers.” Sleep pulled him away, his voice fading, but he wouldn’t succumb. “You must show Beatrix your love, not your lust. Open your heart to joy, don’t make a fist to anger!”
“Stop talking like that.”
“Poetry is the nectar of our flowery language! I must not stop.”
“You might think you’re making sense, but you’re not actually saying anything. Go to sleep, Desil.” Kirnich chuckled as he left. He seemed to be speaking to himself as he shut the door. “Thinks he’s a poet.”
*****
Desil awoke smiling. His mind was in the same place as before he’d fallen asleep, stuck on an overwhelming desire to see Leida. His leg felt dry. He saw Alabell had come in at some point and changed his bandage. She’d left a flask next to him on the bed. He opened it for a drink, already certain it would be water before he tasted it. She clearly didn’t want him getting up, but he wasn’t going back to sleep until he had a glimpse of Leida.
There was a faint glow behind the curtains covering the bedroom windows. Morning had begun, meaning Alabell might be out fetching food from the dining hall. Desil looked forward to it almost as much as taking in Leida’s beauty. He finished all the water in the flask, then crept out of bed. He had to walk around Kirnich sprawled on the floor. Wasn’t Beatrix supposed to take the mattress for herself? He felt guilt as he saw her beside Kirnich, on a similar set of blankets, with her bandaged legs propped up by pillows. It was a good thing the white bandages were unstained, like the one around his shin.
Desil couldn’t tell how tired he was. He figured he could sleep if he went back to bed, but that wasn’t about to happen. The door to their bedroom remained open. He was glad to see the door to the other bedroom open as well as he came into the hall that led straight there.
He made out Basen lying on the floor on top of blankets. Desil saw half of Adriya beside him as he came closer to the bedroom. He didn’t want anyone to catch him awake, or he would be sent back, so he stopped here to look into the room slowly by leaning.
He crept closer, seeing that Adriya slept on her side facing away from the bed where Leida must be. He came into the doorway and saw her.
She certainly wasn’t at her best. She lay on her stomach, her head turned toward him. Hair trailed down her cheek, giving him only a sliver of her face to see. Her mouth hung open. She let out an unflattering clicking and snorting sound with each breath, as if her tongue were trying to remain alive in an otherwise dead mouth. And yet, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
He realized then that her beauty was more than just her outward appearance. Another epiphany? What was the last? It didn’t matter now.
He wished to tell her, needed to tell her. He could contact her through the other plane while she was asleep if his mind wasn’t so cloudy.
He knew he should return to the other room. They both needed rest to be fresh before going back to the Dajrik Mountains, and the caregelow probably healed their wounds better if they weren’t standing or moving. But Desil couldn’t turn around. He stood in the doorway watching Leida, wishing she would wake. He wasn’t sure what he would do if she did. One word could alert Basen or Adriya that he was out of bed, standing on his injured ankle.
Leida’s back was bandaged like Adriya’s thigh, which stuck out from the blanket draped over Adriya’s knees. Leida seemed so small in comparison. He wanted to do more to help her. She’d endured trials to reunite with her parents, to keep them safe and return here to the Academy. However, everything had changed since she’d left. They could no longer remain here. No one in this house could, except for Alabell.
The six of them would leave soon, unless Beatrix and Kirnich separated to deal with Allephon. At least Desil knew Leida would stay with her father no matter what.
Hadn’t Kirnich said something about them arguing? Desil couldn’t remember much at the moment except for the castle’s dungeon…killing Girgis. It felt as though it had happened in another life. He hoped his next kill would be easier, but what would make that so? For some reason, stabbing his dagger into Micklin’s boot left him with no ill feelings, nothing like piercing Girgis’ chest. Desil even enjoyed the memory of stabbing the pyforial mage in the foot. He hoped Micklin had suffered greatly, though caregelow probably had given him a full recovery by now. It was fortunate he didn’t get in their way during their escape. Probably out looking for us if he wasn’t healing somewhere in the castle.
Desil was certain of nothing anymore, except that he wanted Leida to wake. Her eyes came open, her mouth closed. She saw him, causing his heart to stir. She sat up quickly as if alarmed but froze with her palms on the mattress. She looked down at Adriya and her father, then back at Desil.
They held each other’s gazes. She removed the white sheet wrapped around her body, inadvertently showing off her smooth skin between her bandage and…Desil made himself look away as his heart jumped up into his throat. Her nightgown had bunched up around her chest, revealing the round underside of her bosom. She didn’t seem to notice or care as she stared at Desil hypnotically while tiptoeing toward him. Shorts covered her waist but not much else. Desil hardly noticed them as he kept his unblinking gaze from drifting down. It felt as if his eyes had been weighted with bricks.
Her nightgown fell to cover her as she came closer. Desil found his breath again, his heart pounding.
She leaned into him as he pulled her against him. She had just gotten her chin over his shoulder when she whipped back to show him a face of shock. She took her hands off to put one finger in front of her lips.
“Shhh,” she whispered. She put her other hand on his chest and tilted her head as if concerned.
His heart beat harder, slamming within his chest.
She showed him a sweet smile as she took his hand with both of hers. Right there in the doorway, a couple steps away from her sleeping father and friend, she pressed his hand into the center of her chest. His breath escaped him in a small gasp as the sides of his hand pressed into her soft flesh that had crossed his mind many times during ungentlemanly thoughts. He tried to ignore the way his body stirred and focus on the reason she’d taken his hand and placed it there, over her rushing heart.
He took in a long, relaxing breath and showed her the same smile. She kept one hand over his and put the other on his chest. He wanted to never move his hand again, except to feel more of her, even through her clothing, but he would be content here nonetheless.
Their hearts beat hard against each other’s palms for a long, blissful moment. Desil could feel his own heart slowing at the same time that he felt the beat of Leida’s fading. He didn’t know why it reminded him of death, but once the thought entered his mind, he could think of nothing else: He might one day lose her.
He felt his smile turn into a frown as sorrow made his knees weak. He could feel her thoughts right there with his as her eyes glistened with tears. One escaped, running down her cheek as she took her palm off his chest. He pulled his hand away to embrace her. She squeezed him hard as if letting go would mean the end of them.
There was more between them. Desil felt everything strongly with the caregelow, but this was different. It was as if a barrier had been broken, a bridge now connecting them. Someone had attacked her in that forest outside Tenred. She had don
e something to protect herself and others that she hadn’t wanted to do, and she could feel that Desil had done the same. They touched foreheads and closed their eyes, holding one another, comforting.
A river of emotions ran through Desil. He felt blessed to have gotten this far with both of them still whole, but this was far from over, and neither of them could stop. They needed each other, but would that mean the death of them? Climbing mountains made him think he was courageous in the face of death, but hidden where he had not looked yet, he was afraid. Something with Leida had brought it to the surface, and now it was all he could feel.
She whispered in his ear, “We’ll get through this.”
Immediately he calmed. Not only did his fear subside, it was gone. He felt as if he’d been cured of it, as if her voice had flushed it out and built a wall to keep it from coming back.
With confidence he knew he shouldn’t have, he replied, “We will.”
He finally felt as if he could return and sleep, immensely relieved. He kissed her lips, his mouth lingering to enjoy the soft feeling, then finally pulled away with great reluctance. Their hands slid down each other’s arms as he turned. He walked down the hall, looking back over his shoulder. She stood in the doorway, a wide smile on her radiant face.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Desil tried to move when he awoke. He started by lifting his head, but that was too much. He rolled over instead. His muscles strained as if the air was heavy. He tried to speak, but the lump in his throat stopped him short. He cleared it with a grumble.
“How long?” he wheezed out to anyone who might hear.
He heard Kirnich reply. “How long what?”
Desil made the effort to sit up. His head felt as solid as a brick, his neck stiff with pain as if he’d slept on it wrong.
“How long…” He tried to swallow the lump. “Have I been asleep?”
“Since I first put you to bed or since you last awoke?”
I awoke earlier? His heart trilled as he remembered Leida’s hand against his chest, his against hers. The taste of her lips.
No one had seen them, so Kirnich likely wasn’t referring to that. Another memory came of eating right here in this bed. He looked around for clues and found crumbs hidden in the folds of the sheets. His mind worked as slow as an old crank. Alabell had brought him a tray of food sometime in the morning, woken him up for breakfast, he believed. Had he even enjoyed whatever it was he’d eaten? She’d given him more caregelow during the meal and had coaxed him into going back to sleep rather than bathing.
He desperately needed to get out of these filthy clothes now and wash. Whatever he’d dreamed had given him the sweats. Fragments of nightmares returned in which he was chased by some powerful being who could dance across the other plane with ease.
Perhaps that wasn’t a dream.
What time was it now? The shades were still drawn. Only Kirnich was in the room with him, though Beatrix had clearly slept next to the warrior, her blankets still there.
“Is it evening?” Desil asked, ignoring his first question of how long he’d been asleep.
“It is. Alabell’s off to get us more food. Beatrix is risking a shower.”
I would like to as well. “Is she better?”
“Check your ankle for the answer. None of her cuts were deeper than that one.” With a hinting tone, Kirnich had given it away, but Desil still wanted to see it for himself.
He unwrapped the unsoiled bandage. There was some bruising across his shin, a faint scar at its center that looked months or even years old. Desil tested the pain by pressing with his fingers. He felt nothing.
“Why does the caregelow work this well?”
“Why?” Kirnich laughed. “I figured you would be amazed rather than curious.”
“Amazement makes me curious.”
“Well, don’t ask me how it works. Whatever your body normally does to heal, it probably amplifies that, but not without a cost. How are you feeling?” His tone was hinting once more.
“Surprised.”
Kirnich looked confused. “Not what I expected. Why surprised?”
“I’m surprised you went through the Dajrik Mountains feeling like this, like…” His mind was as slow as steam. “Like my body’s about to turn into a puddle while my head floats away.”
“The amount that you took in one day, I took over a few days, and I’m bigger than you. We’ve been bored waiting for Beatrix to wake. At least all our swords are as sharp as they can be now. Basen brought your bag here from the forest. If you have any clean clothes in there, you can change into them after your shower. If you don’t, he wanted me to tell you that you can take some from him.”
Desil stopped himself from wondering what was next for their group, from worrying about how soon they would be in danger again. He took a few breaths to enjoy this feeling of calm. Kirnich brought him his bag. The warrior must’ve showered recently. The dark hair that fell past his broad shoulders swayed as he walked, clean as silk at the market. He’d shaven, his square jaw seemingly wider, the long planes of his cheeks boasting high bones.
Desil wondered something. “Did you treat all of your soldiers like you treat me?”
“How is that?” Kirnich folded his arms as if expecting insult.
“I don’t mean anything bad by the statement.” But it was too awkward to say that the warrior was caring.
“Why do you ask?”
“Because I saw you and Beatrix in a new way when we were in the castle. I suppose I hadn’t thought of Beatrix as a princess and you like an officer until now. You’ve gone from hostile to…friendly around me, and I wonder…” Desil searched for the right words, but his mind was slow.
“And you wonder if you deserve it?”
“How did you know?”
“Because I’ve had others bring it up to me. I am the same way with some of them…” He paused. “When I was an officer. Those who deserved it.”
“What would you have done if you hadn’t been in Kanoan with Beatrix when the war began?”
“I would’ve led a thousand men through the Fjallejon Pathway to take the Fjallejon Mountains. Then I would’ve led those who’d survived of my brigade to Tenred’s wall. But that’s only if Allephon had allowed me to do that. His father trusted me, but I don’t know how my standing would’ve been with him. We never had more than a few awkward conversations that didn’t go to either of our liking. He tried to win me over like he had many of my men, but I already knew what kind of man he was from the way his father spoke about him.”
“No matter what kind of man he is, I still have trouble believing he would murder his own father.”
“It wasn’t him.” Beatrix entered holding a damp towel, her wet black hair falling straight down her back. “It was Jimmin. He’s a psychic, Kirnich. Strong as they get.” She bit her towel to hold it in her mouth as she leaned her head down, then she grabbed her hair with both hands to flick it over her head. She took back the towel and wrapped it around her hair, but a thought seemed to stop her. “At least I hope they can’t be stronger than that.” She rubbed the towel up and down her hair. “Allephon wanted me to help him stop Jimmin, but Jimmin entered and easily coaxed Allephon into leaving us alone.”
Desil noticed scars down her arms like the one across his shin. He figured her legs were covered with them, but if this bothered her, she didn’t show it. Beatrix stopped drying her hair as she stared at the floor.
“Where is Basen?” she asked before looking up, a tinge of dread in her dark eyes.
“He’s gathering as many supplies as he can.”
“He shouldn’t be out in the open.”
“I told him the same thing,” Kirnich said. “So his idea was to take his daughter and Adriya with him. I didn’t see how that would help.”
Desil was nervous to see Leida. Her mind had been altered from caregelow during their moment in the night, no doubt. He recalled her drunken swagger as she’d gotten out of bed and walked toward him, her nightgown bun
ched at her chest. He lost himself to the memory until Beatrix said his name.
“Desil, are you all right?”
He nodded. “And yourself?”
“I think I have Alabell to thank for still being alive.” She whispered the words in a careful manner, the way one might tread lightly around the edge of a precipice.
His pride made him aware that she hadn’t thanked him yet. He wasn’t sure if she realized it as she continued to look at the floor.
“I’d better shower while I have the chance,” Desil said.
He got his bag and a towel from Kirnich and made his way back to the nearest bathhouse. He checked inside his bag on the way there, first noticing a line of someone else’s blood down one side, probably from whatever had happened in the forest after he left. Desil’s clothes within were cold and wrinkled, but a few had surprisingly little smell considering he’d worn them all at least once. Anything in there would be better than the sweaty rags he had on.
He expected more out of the shower and left somewhat disappointed. The water had been cold, the stall confined. He was glad Basen had brought his bag from forest, even if someone had bled onto it and finished the last bit of food inside. At least it still had his soap, his clothes, his quilt, and the small amount of coins he’d brought.
When he returned to the headmaster’s home, he found everyone eating in the hall between the two bedrooms. They sat on the floor with plates on their laps, all looking at Desil as he came down the adjoining hall, his gaze solely on Leida.
Her red hair was a shade darker, damp like Beatrix’s. Her eyes were emeralds but more precious to him than any stone. Seeing them again in the light felt like finding a treasure once lost to him. She got up with his plate in hand and walked it over to him. He took it from her as she reached out to touch his arm.