by Luca Veste
‘She’s here.’
Murphy didn’t know what to do. Whether to stand, or stay in his seat. In the end, he settled for perching on the edge.
‘Hey, Sarah,’ Jess’s voice drifted in from the hallway. ‘How are you?’
‘Can’t complain. He’s through there. I’m going in the other room to get on with some packing.’
The living-room door opened a little more. Murphy waited a second before turning.
‘Hi,’ Murphy said, wishing he’d thought of something better to say. ‘You coming in?’
‘I suppose,’ Jess replied, unbuttoning her coat, hesitating, then leaving it on. ‘I’m only here because she made me feel guilty. If something had happened that night . . .’
‘I know.’
‘So, you still off work?’
Murphy waited for Jess to sit down on the couch opposite, then sat back in his chair. ‘Going back in tomorrow. Two weeks was enough.’
‘Everything cleared?’
‘Just about. The investigation will continue, but given what he’d already done that week, I think they just want it over. They’re not going to do anything about the injuries he sustained during arrest. Not that there was much anyway. Laura Rossi is fine, although her fella is facing an investigation at the hospital. They want to know why the disappearance of the drugs wasn’t looked into properly. He’ll get a slap on the wrist and that’ll be it. Hopefully.’
‘The girl . . .’
‘Stacey lied.’
Jess lowered her head, nodding slowly into her chest. ‘I knew it was rubbish. She was always making up stuff. Even when we were younger.’
‘I never believed her anyway.’
Murphy picked at a bit of fluff on the arm of his chair, rolling it into a ball between his fingers.
Jess filled the silence. ‘Did you find out why he killed those people?’
‘He’s refusing to talk in interview. His solicitor is almost as terrier-like as you are.’
‘I’ll take that as a compliment,’ Jess said, a smile forming which almost reached her eyes. ‘Do you have enough?’
‘Yeah, pretty much. We know what he’s said to Amy. He’d spoken about someone he called “Number One”. Met her back at school, stalked her, was warned off. We’ve looked into it and found out who she was. There’s a possibility he had something to do with the death of that girl’s boyfriend at the time, but we’re not sure. The mixture of rejection and seeing what those who rejected him put up with. He could never work out why they didn’t want him. We think he tried to get with the first female victim – Jane – and when she turned him down, he became obsessed with her. Once he found out her partner’s secret, well . . . something sent him over the edge. He came back to Liverpool when his dad died. His mum was found dead when he was only a baby. Suicide, with a suspicion on the father. He had a very warped view of women and relationships. Power and control. The usual.’
Jess nodded, silence growing around them as the real reason she was there began to fill the room.
‘When I look at you, I see him. That’s why.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Murphy said, not letting his gaze slip from hers. ‘I wish I’d done a million things differently that night. That week.’
‘I know you’re not to blame. Not really. It just makes it easier if the one person who was in that room, who is still alive, was to blame. That’s all.’
‘I miss you, Jess. Twenty years. I can’t walk away from that.’
‘Every time I see you, I’m reminded of that night. I go back to those feelings. When that evil bastard was killing people in the street. When my son, who was just with his friends, out having a laugh, ran into his path.’
‘What do you want me to do?’
Jess sniffed, wiped at her face and shook her head. ‘There’s nothing you can do. It’s just the way things are.’
‘I tried to save him . . .’
‘I know you did.’
Murphy didn’t speak for a while, the ticking of the clock on the wall breaking the silence.
‘I see you and I get all those feelings back. I see you and I see Peter. My son, killed before his life had begun.’
Murphy closed his eyes, seeing the moment instantly.
‘But, maybe I need that reminder. Maybe I need to see those things. To know that my boy didn’t die alone. That his uncle David was right there with him. Trying to save him.’
Murphy opened his eyes and looked across at Jess. What he saw gave him something.
It gave him hope.
Acknowledgements
The words may start with one person in a darkened room, but getting them into your hands requires a whole number of people. These are just a few of them.
Firstly, Eva Dolan, Nick Quantrill, Steve Mosby, Craig Robertson, and Pete Sortwell. You’re all fine and excellent people, I am incredibly lucky to know you.
Mel Sherratt and Mark Edwards, for your continued support and inspiration.
Sarah Hughes, Linda Moore, Liz Barnsley, Keith Nixon, Paul D. Brazill, and Jan Russell, for all the support on and offline.
Jo Dickinson, my incredible editor, who has improved this book immeasurably. Emma Capron, Louise Davies, Elizabeth Preston, and all the rest of the Simon & Schuster team – I am beyond pleased to be starting this journey with you all.
My agent Phil Patterson – your continued determination and ambition in the face of personal adversity is astounding. You’re a good man. A very good man. Also to Sandra Sawicka and Luke Speed, for being ace agents in foreign rights and TV.
My parents, my grandparents. My siblings and in-laws. Uncles, aunts, cousins, next-door neighbours, etc. There’s a whole bunch of Vestes and Woodlands, and Kirkhams and Hales, and Robertsons and Smiths, who all contribute to me being who I am, and buying the books in great quantities. Never stop.
Special thanks to Andrea Robertson, for all her medical advice. All mistakes are my own and intentional. Honest.
Thank you to Uncle John ‘Murphy’ Kirkham and Gina Kirkham.
Finally, my wife, Emma Veste, and daughters Abigail and Megan. Abs and Migs – fist bump, balalalala. Thank you for being two of the best and brightest daughters a dad could ever hope for. Emma – not many people know how much work goes into being a writer’s partner. Thank you for taking on that burden. Ti amo, bella. Thank you for everything you do and everything you are.
Table of Contents
Chloe and Joe
Part One
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Love
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Fate
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Greg
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Hannah
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Greg and Hannah
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Violence
Part Two
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Normality
Adam
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Media
Chapter Twenty-Six
Part Three
Will and Carly
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Left Behind
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Truth
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Number Four
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter T
hirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
After
Acknowledgements