by Elisa Leigh
∞∞∞
Tonight has been exactly what I’ve been missing in my life. Who knew I’d find it in a small town filled with bikers and two of the funniest and sweetest chicks I’ve ever known.
We’ve been sitting around the fire for hours drinking and listening to the guys tell us crazy stories about the Steel Daggers. Ryker, Emersen, Harrison, Chelsea, me, Jasper, and Quinn are the only ones left sitting here. I can tell we’re about to go when I notice Emersen is passed out in Ryker’s lap and Chelsea isn’t far behind her.
Chelsea and Harrison gave me a ride since my car wouldn’t start when I tried it this afternoon. It’s weird since I replaced the battery when I bought it a few months ago.
When Harrison and Chelsea stand to leave, I get up too. I’ve been snuggled between Jasper and Quinn for a while now, and I feel the loss of their heat as soon as I stand.
“Where are you going?” Quinn asks, standing up next to me.
“I’m catching a ride with Harrison and Chels.”
“You didn’t drive?” Jasper says from my other side.
I shake my head no. “Car wouldn’t start.”
When I go to follow Chelsea, Quinn grabs my hand, stopping me. “We got her Rock.”
Harrison quirks his eyebrow at me, silently asking if it’s okay. I love that he cares, it’s been a long time since someone has. I nod, letting him know I’m good.
“Ready babe? We need to get you out of this cold before you catch one. Wouldn’t be good to be sick over Christmas.”
When we get to their bikes Jasper solves the dilemma. “I call dibs. Holly’s riding with me.” I’ve never met such a happy person as Jasper. He’s always smiling and cracking jokes. His personality is infectious.
“Here babe put this on. You’ll be freezing without it.” Jasper says while holding his leather jacket out for me to put on.
“What about you? Won’t you be cold?”
“I’m a big boy. I’ll be fine.”
Jasper gets me seated on his bike before he gets on himself. While he’s getting situated, I look over to see Quinn staring at us. Seconds later, Jasper’s motorcycle roars to life and Quinn’s right after.
“Wrap your hands around me Doll and hold on tight.” I do as he says, but he grabs my thighs and brings me even closer. The thrum of the bike feels good to my over-sensitized skin. I could get used to this, I think to myself before we’re cruising down the road and I’m hanging on tight.
Quinn follows behind us the entire way to Green Tree Inn. I didn’t even think to tell them where I was staying until halfway through the drive. It dawned on me we were going the right direction though. When we were stopped at a light, I tried to tell Jasper where to go, but he just nodded like he already knew. They must have got the info from the guys.
Quinn parks and gets off his bike quickly so he can help me off Jasper’s bike. As soon as I’m standing, my knees buckle, and I start to fall when Quinn holds me up. “Easy Precious. You’ll get used to it after a few times.”
“Will there be a few more times on the back of your bikes?”
“So many more times you’ll lose count,” Quinn says in a gravelly voice, making my core clench.
They’ve been touching me all night, slowly driving me crazy and making me needy. As much as I want to invite them into my room, something is holding me back. It’s not the right time to start a relationship. Except they are breaking through all my walls and every excuse I’ve got is slowly dying inside me.
They walk me to my room and each place a chaste kiss on my lips before pushing me inside. They refuse to leave until I’ve locked all three locks on the door. Every word is backed up by small actions. They are proving to me each day they can be the kind of men that can hold onto me.
Eight
Holly
I’m carrying my folded clothes in my laundry basket back to my room. I’ve just spent the last three hours of my day off in Green Tree Inn’s laundry room. It might sound crazy to some, but being able to do these ordinary, everyday things means everything to me. I spent a year with a man who controlled every minute of my day. I wasn’t able to cook or clean because, according to Steven, it was beneath me.
I open my door and see a man bent over, looking inside my fridge. What the fuck? Did Steven find me already? I drop my laundry basket on the bed, and quietly grab the baseball bat I keep under there. As quiet as I can, I walk behind the man and swing, hitting him in the back of the thigh.
He hits the back of his head on the top of the fridge and shouts out “Son of a bitch!” My bathroom door flies open and out walks Quinn staring at the baseball bat in my hand and then at Jasper sitting on the floor of my makeshift kitchen, fridge still wide open.
“What the hell are you two doing in my room?”
“Shit Holly. You fucked up my leg!”
“Stop being a little bitch and get up,” Quinn says, sparing him a glance, before walking toward me.
“Put the bat down Precious. We’re not here to hurt you.” My fingers are clutched around the handle tight, and I can’t make myself let go. I thought this was it, I thought my past had caught up with me.
When Quinn reaches me, he glides his hand down my arm holding the bat and slowly, but confidently he takes the bat out of my hand and throws it on the bed. I’m shaking, adrenaline running through me. I slump to the ground and rest my head on my knees, facing the opposite direction of the guys.
After a moment Quinn sits beside me, hip to hip, and begins to rub my back. Eventually, Jasper hobbles over to us and sits on my other side. He grabs my hand and laces his fingers through mine. I’ve had to be strong on my own for so long now, I admit, it’s nice to give some of it over to two men who can take it.
“I didn’t know it was you, Jasper. I’m sorry I hit you.”
He squeezes my hand and smiles down at me. “I’ve been through a lot worse Doll, I can take it. I am going to have a nice size bruise on my leg. You’ll kiss and make it better, won’t you Doll?”
I shove my shoulder into his rib and he laughs. “You’re a violent little one. I’ll remember that for later.”
“Let’s take a ride Precious. There’s a stretch of back road we take when things get heavy. I think it’ll help to clear your mind.”
I think about it for half a second. “I could use a ride. Let’s go.”
Quinn and Jasper both stand and reach out their hands, lifting me up.
“Put on a pair of jeans, those leggings aren’t going to cut it on the bike baby. If you have boots, get those on too. The last thing we want is for you to get sick.”
“Give me a few minutes.” I go to my basket and pull out the thickest jeans I own and a thermal long sleeve t-shirt. I go to the bathroom to change, closing the door behind me.
“Aww baby, you could have changed out here. I would have kept my hands to myself… for a minute.” Jasper mutters the last part, but I catch it. Jasper is the funniest guy I’ve ever met. He always says what’s on his mind and doesn’t care what anyone else is thinking. Then there’s Quinn who is more reserved and loyal to those he loves. I wonder what it would be like to be one of those people.
I walk out ready to let it go and be free of memories floating around in my head. There’s not enough time in this life to keep reliving shit I can’t change. I vow to myself as I sit on the back of Quinn’s bike, that I’m going to start living for me and letting things happen as they will. I’m tired of holding back because of what could happen.
We drove for hours through the countryside of PA. The scenery is much different here than in Georgia. When Quinn and Jasper pulled over at one of the shops on the way back I found the most beautiful hand stitched quilt I had ever seen. I couldn’t bring myself to buy it, but it was hard letting it go. I did buy a few candles that were locally made. I can’t wait to burn them.
Instead of turning in the direction of Green Tree Inn, they veer off and take a different route. A few minutes later and we’re pulling up to a large two-story home surr
ounded by trees and miles away from any neighbor. When Quinn parks his bike, I jump off, thankful for the reprieve. The home is beautiful and looks well taken care of. I wonder where we are.
“What do you think?” Jasper asks, coming to stand next to me, staring at the house.
“About what?”
He nods at the house, and I look at the details that have been put in from the large wrap around porch to the three rocking chairs they have sitting there.
“It’s a beautiful home. Who lives here?”
“We do,” Quinn says, standing on my other side. “How about we make some dinner before we take you home for the night?” He wraps his arm around my shoulder. I don’t hesitate to wrap my arm around his side and walk with him as we follow Jasper up the steps of the porch into their home.
I excuse myself to use the restroom and freshen up. On my way back to the kitchen, I walk through a newly renovated living room with a beautiful fireplace. I don’t know who took the time to decorate in here, but the simple tree and white Christmas lights hanging from the window bring me back to a simpler time. One where my nana could care for me before she got too sick and I was put in foster care. I feel the Christmas spirit for the first time in a long time, and it feels incredible.
I walk into the kitchen to find the guys sitting at an island drinking a couple of beers. “Are you two doing the work on this place? It looks great.”
“Thanks, Doll. We’ve been working on it ever since my mema passed a few years ago, and left me the place.”
“I’m sorry for your loss. It never does get any easier. I lost my nana when I was real young.” I say, placing my hand over his.
Jasper spreads his legs and pulls me in between them. He wraps his arms around my waist. “No, it doesn’t. She was ready to be with my pops again, it was her time to go.”
I lean in and kiss him on the lips. I want him to know that I care, that he’s important. It quickly turns from something sweet into something more. I pull back, out of breath and needing a second to regain my composure.
“I couldn’t help it, baby. Plus, you promised to kiss me better this morning.”
“I promised nothing of the sort. I didn’t agree to that!” I smack him in the chest laughing. He’s too much sometimes. I look over at Jasper who’s watching us with a huge grin on his face.
“Well, I was promised dinner. What are we having?”
“Tacos good with you Precious?”
“Tacos are perfect. Are you making french fries?”
Both the guys look at each other when I ask, and it cracks me up. “Do you have potatoes? There are these fries I used to make when I lived at the girl’s home.” It just slips right out as quickly as the thought came into my head. I’m not ashamed of how I grew up, but sometimes it makes people uncomfortable.
“That’s nothing to be ashamed about Holly.”
“I’m not ashamed. It’s part of who I am. I claim it. My past usually makes others feel awkward, so I usually steer away from that conversation.”
“We want every conversation. Good, bad, indifferent, we want it all. We’re the two people in the world that you can be yourself with and not worry how we’re going to take it. Don’t worry about our feelings Precious. I joined the Army in the middle of my senior year of high school because my dad kicked me out since I was eighteen. Not everyone’s story is sunshine and rainbows, but we overcome and move on. Those pains will always be there, but we can stack a bunch of good memories on top, so they don’t hurt as bad.”
For a quiet man, his words are heard loud and clear. I walk up to him and wrap my arms around is middle, squeezing him tight. He’s right. Not everyone’s story is going to be pretty. I love that he gets it. He’s not trying to change me or hold me back from being who I am.
We spend the rest of the night cooking tacos and fries and drinking beer. When we’re finished we play a game of Phase Ten and Jasper spanks our ass, but we have fun playing and tossing stories around about what life was like when we were kids.
They drive me home eventually and walk me to my room, yet again leaving me at the door with a kiss. This time though, their kisses are long and filled with promises.
Nine
Jasper
I’ve been awake for twenty minutes, but I don’t want to get up. Usually, I’ll have been up and going for a run or hitting the gym, but today I’m content to lay in bed, thinking about Holly. Last night, having her between Quinn and me was the best I’ve felt in a long time. Just experiencing her spirit lights up a dark part of my soul. She’s bringing out a different side of me, one that cares about what comes next. She has no idea the impact she’s making, and I refuse to let her go.
I’m a thirty-five-year-old man used to living out fantasies of an eighteen-year-old. Eventually, the fantasies got old, and real life became what I’m yearning for. My mema and pops raised me when my parents lost custody of me when I was a baby. My pops was a good man. He had integrity, was a hard worker, and treated my mema like a queen. He showed me what it was to be a man. I know this isn’t the life they would have wanted me to have.
My mind turns to Quinn, and I wonder if it’s smart getting into a relationship like this with a man I’m in love with. I decided a few months ago that I needed to put space between us. I know he isn’t into guys and I’d rather remain his best friend than lose him by telling him how I feel. I’m walking a thin line here.
On one end I’ve found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, who could tie Quinn and me together forever. I could spend the rest of my life with him. Loving him secretly while also being in a committed relationship with him. Is it right though, to do this to Holly, to Quinn, to myself? Will I be able to hold myself back for the rest of our lives?
On the other hand, I could put it all out there and risk losing Quinn, the man who has been by my side since we were eighteen, my best friend. I could have sworn he was checking me out before we left for Pres’ house the other night. I’ve convinced myself that my mind was playing tricks on me. I’d know if he was interested, wouldn’t I? I could also lose Holly. How could I tell them I’m in love with them both? It doesn’t make logical sense. Even I’m mystified by it. I’m not willing to risk losing them, both of them, forever.
Hell, why does this have to be so fucking hard? I should just keep my mouth shut and be thankful for the blessing I’ve been given. I can do it, live with my love for Quinn buried deep. I’m used to pushing my shit down. I’m usually the happy guy, the one cracking all the jokes, but no one sees the pain I hide from the world, except for Quinn. He was there in Iraq. We went through the bullshit together and came out on the other side. A little bruised and scratched up, but we’re home, and we’re thriving with a brotherhood who have our backs come hell or high water.
I scratch my hand through my beard and wonder if I should shave. I liked the way it felt when Holly kissed me last night and rubbed her fingers through it. I should ask her what she thinks of it. I’m a pussy for her. I’d give the woman anything I could, all she has to do is ask.
I swing my feet over the side of my bed, ready to start my day. I stand up and stretch when Quinn bursts through my door without knocking. I might be sporting a woody, having been stroking it under the covers while thinking about my current predicament. I didn’t stroke to finish. I just liked the way my hand felt on my dick. I also might have been imagining Quinn was the one stroking me. My mind is a twisted place to be.
“Fuck Jas. Put some damn clothes on!”
I grin and wiggle my eyebrows. “What for?” I rub my hand down my abs, fucking with him, but I’m surprised when his eyes follow my hand down to my dick. I can’t tear my eyes away from him staring at me. What the fuck is going on?
He swears and walks out of the room, yelling as he goes. “Holly texted a few minutes ago. She needs me to check out her car.”
“Be down in a minute,” I yell. No way am I passing up on seeing my Holly even if things might be awkward as fuck on the ride over. I smile wi
ckedly knowing I’m going to love every minute of his awkwardness. I’ll give him shit, and everything will be back to normal.
∞∞∞
Quinn looks over at me and frowns, then looks over at Holly who has been standing right next to us while we checked her car out. “The wires that connect your battery to your car have been cut.”
“Are you sure?” She looks over at me, hoping I have a different answer. Unfortunately for whoever did this, I don’t. I nod, confirming Quinn’s diagnosis.
“Why would anyone do that? I barely know anyone in this town! The only person I’ve pissed off was Tyler. Wait, do you think he’d do this?”
Instantly I’m pissed thinking about that fucker. He’s kept his head down since the other night, but I wouldn’t put this past him. I clench the hood over her car that I’ve been holding onto while watching Quinn work his magic. “I’ll go have a chat with him. Make sure he understands what off limits means. He should know better than to mess with one of the Steel Dagger’s women.”
“What does that mean?”
“What’s that Precious?” Quinn responds, still messing around with the wires that are attached to the battery. Quinn and I run the only auto shop in town, SD Motors. All the officers are invested in the businesses that the Steel Daggers own. Each of us run one of the businesses or helps with it.