by Nina Levine
“You looked a little blank just then. Is this too much, too soon?”
“Absolutely not. I just need a moment to catch up to my emotions.” God, that sounds weird. He’ll think I’m some crazy woman soon.
Sean interrupts. “How do you catch your emotions?”
I laugh as I glance down at him. “I really don’t know, buddy, but when I figure it out, I’ll let you know.”
“Sean, can you please go and wash your hands for dinner?” Luke asks.
When we’re alone, I move close to where he stands. “I promise I’m not as loony as I sound. I was just a little overwhelmed with emotion when Sean gave me that drawing. I’ve never had much to do with kids, and I have to say they have this way of sucker-punching you with affection.”
He reaches up to run his finger down the side of my face and into my hair. “I’ll take your loony.” His mouth moves to my ear and he whisper-growls, “Especially if this no-clothes deal goes ahead.”
“You only want me for my body,” I say as he shifts away from me to open the oven.
He smirks. “Like you wouldn’t believe, baby.”
I smack his ass playfully. “You could at least pretend to be interested in my mind.”
As he places the pizza on the counter, Sean comes back, and I bite my tongue on further sexy banter.
Sean and I set the table while Luke cuts the pizza, and soon we’re all sitting around the table laughing and eating. I love the memories Luke is making with his son. Fun family dinners, breakfasts together, and orange parties are things I never experienced with my family. Conversation was stilted at best and happy times over meals were pretty much non-existent.
Once dinner is done, Luke puts Sean to bed after some protesting. Sean wanted to stay up to spend time playing with me and then he moved onto begging for time reading with me. Luke held strong and didn’t give in. I’m in awe watching the way he parents; I’m not so sure I would be as steadfast with the routine.
I’m on his couch flicking mindlessly through channels when he returns from settling Sean. “Is he asleep?” I ask as I mute the sound on the television.
Luke sits next to me and drapes his arm over the couch behind me. He lifts my legs to rest over his and places his hand on my thigh. He then meets my gaze and kisses me. Just a quick one, but it’s enough to thrill me. “He’ll be asleep in about fifteen minutes, so you have that amount of time before the clothes have to come off.”
I slip my hand under his shirt and rest my palm against his abs. “I like this new deal we have. I think we should renegotiate so it states the time leading up to no clothes must be filled with kissing. Lots and lots of kissing.”
His eyes glitter with desire. “You’re a tough negotiator Miss St James. Lucky for you I’m an easy mark.” With that, he bends his face and kisses me again.
It doesn’t take me long to succumb to Luke’s kiss. Within a few minutes, I’m straddling him, and he’s running his hands up my back under my top. The chances of us lasting fifteen minutes with clothes on are slim-to-none if I’ve got anything to do with it.
He slides his hands under my ass and pulls me closer, grinding his erection against me. “Fuck,” he rasps as he tears his lips from mine. “Fifteen minutes is a long fucking time.”
My hands are still under his shirt. I move them up to his chest. “Surely it would be okay if you didn’t have a shirt on.”
He only thinks about that for a split second. His shirt hits the ground, and my breathing picks up as I feast my eyes on his bare chest.
When he tries to kiss me again, I resist, pushing against him. “Gimme a minute… I’m studying your muscles.”
“Study time’s over,” he says as he removes my hands from his chest faster than my brain keeps up. Not giving me a chance to protest, he takes possession of my mouth again.
I give in, and we’re soon consumed by the kiss.
Hands everywhere.
Breathless.
Crazed by lust.
And then Sean cries out.
I scramble off Luke, and he stands. Staring at me through wild eyes, he orders, “I want you in my bedroom, naked. Now.”
God, yes.
He leaves to take care of Sean, and I do exactly what I’ve been told. After I strip, I lay down on his king-size bed and wait for him. Glancing around the room, I decide it needs a makeover. The cream paint is bland, as are the beige curtains. His walls could do with some artwork, and I’d love to see some colour splashes throughout. Maybe red pillows on a black and white doona cover.
It hits me that his wife probably decorated the room. And that this was their marital bed.
God, how have I not thought of this before?
I scramble off the bed fast, unsure of exactly what I’m feeling, but needing a minute to think.
“What’s wrong?” Luke asks as he enters the room. He must be concerned, because I’m naked, but his gaze is focused solely on mine rather than on my body.
“Ahhh, I was just thinking… Well, the thought hit me that… Fuck…” I can’t get my words out, and as each second ticks by, I’m growing more flustered.
He walks closer. “What were you just thinking?”
I take a deep breath.
I just wanted easy sex, God.
Was that too much to ask?
No baggage would have been awesome.
“Callie.” Luke’s voice sounds again. Deep. Commanding.
I find his eyes. “I was just thinking about Jolene. And the fact she probably decorated this room. And that this was her bed.” My cheeks heat as I try to explain myself. Nothing is coming out right, because although those were my exact thoughts, the deeper meaning of my thoughts is something else.
How will we ever get past his wife?
How long will it take?
Will I be enough for him to heal?
He stares at me for a long time, taking all that in. I want to say more, but I can’t bring myself to. This feels like a pivotal moment for us, and my heart beats so hard in my chest I can hear the rush of it in my ears.
“Fuck,” he mutters as he shoves his fingers through his hair. “I never wanted this for you, Callie. I wanted to be clear of this…” His voice drifts off, and I’m pretty sure Luke’s struggling with his words just as much as I am.
I’m feeling exposed standing in front of him naked while we discuss this, so I bend to retrieve my clothes from the floor.
He frowns as I straighten. “What are you doing?”
“I don’t want to have this conversation naked.”
“You’re not getting dressed, Callie,” he mutters as he stalks to his closet. When he returns, he has one of his T-shirts in his hands that he passes me. “You can wear this, but no fucking way are you putting your clothes back on. We’ll talk this out before I’m letting you leave.”
“I’m not leaving, Luke. That wasn’t why I was getting dressed.” I shrug his shirt over my head.
We stand in silence for another couple of minutes. The time feels endless to me, though. There’s no clock in this room, but I hear the ticking loud and clear while I wait for Luke to speak. Just when I’m beginning to think he’s not going to say anything, he begins.
“I never gave much thought to what marriage actually was before I got married. The ups, the downs, the never-ending daily grind it can turn into. The woman I married was not the woman I ended up spending most of my marriage with. It only took her six months to change. We fought all the time—about money, my mother, Sean, my work and the fact I had to work two jobs to support us, about this house that my mother gave us and the car she also gave us so we had something safe to drive Sean in. Fuck, Callie, my marriage almost killed me; it sure as fuck killed my soul. Jolene was never happy with anything, but she particularly held a grudge against my mother. After years of me studying and then taking on a job that didn’t pay much, we never had spare cash, and I refused to allow Mum to pay our bills. So Mum gave us things instead of money and Jolene felt like she was always interferi
ng. I ended up taking on a night job in a bar to supplement our income, and Jolene never let me forget that she was raising Sean all by herself.”
He takes a breath as he paces the room. I stay quiet. I want to give him the space to say what he needs to.
“Instead of spending what little time we had together, Jolene chose to shut me out. She was either fighting with me or giving me the silent treatment. Then she began refusing to have sex with me. In public, though, she projected this happy image. Anyone would have thought we were the happiest couple out there.” He stops pacing and his eyes find mine. I suck in a breath at what I see there. His memories are killing him. “I thought I loved her. I spent every day trying to get through to her, trying to fix our marriage. Trying to figure out what the hell she needed to see or hear to know that I loved her. But you know what? You get to a point where you don’t know how you feel anymore so you just keep feeling the way you think you should be. I always swore I’d give my child two parents. I know now that’s what I was fighting for. I wasn’t fighting for Jolene, because how can a man who’s fallen out of love fight for a woman who doesn’t even know how to love?”
I have no answer to that.
I remain silent, waiting to see if he has any more to say.
He does.
“My mother decorated this house. Jolene wasn’t interested because it came from Mum. And I had no desire or time. I was too damn busy just surviving. Work, fatherhood and marriage were enough for me to deal with. Mum and Jolene fought as much as Jolene and I did. And in the end, I let them go for it. I stopped trying to get the two women in my life to even be able to fucking agree on what colour the sky was.” He takes hold of my arms. “This is not the bed I slept next to Jolene in. The week I discovered the truth, I went out and bought a new bed.”
“That’s not what this was about, Luke,” I say softly.
“I know.”
He’s given me more than I thought he would. And if I thought my heart hurt for him before, it hurts more now. I reach up to touch his face. “You’re a strong man. Thank you for telling me all that when I know you don’t want to revisit the past.”
“I just want us to move forward, Callie. I’m willing to do whatever it takes for that to happen.”
I move into his arms and pull his face down to mine. Brushing my lips across his, I say, “It’s happening, Luke. I want this as much as you do.”
“Thank fuck,” he says, lifting me into his arms.
I cling to him while he carries me to the bed. When he places me down, I sit and watch as he rips his shirt off and then removes the rest of his clothes. The mood between us has shifted from fun to intense. We need each other more now than earlier; we need this to continue moving forward.
He sits on the bed in front of me and strips his shirt off me. He then repositions me so I’m sitting on his lap with my legs wrapped around him.
Skin to skin.
We join in a way we haven’t yet.
Deep.
Sensual.
Slow.
Luke kisses me as if he will never have enough from my lips. It’s slow and it’s thorough, and it blazes need along every one of my nerve endings.
I feel the same way.
I squeeze my arms around him as if I never want to let him go.
Because I don’t.
Luke is mine now.
“I want you without a condom,” he says when he finally stops kissing me. “I’m clean.”
“I am too. And I’m on the pill.”
His lips find mine again in another slow and intense kiss while his hands move to massage my breasts. I could get used to these kinds of kisses. They might be slow, but they’re almost more demanding than when he kisses me hard and fast. These kisses are deliberate and exacting—they’re wringing every last ounce of pleasure from our lips.
I begin rocking against him, more than ready to have him where I want him. His erection is pressing against my pussy, teasing the hell out of me. Driving me wild with want.
Just when I’m about to drag my lips from his to beg him to fuck me, he grabs my hips and lifts me so he can position me to sit down, taking him inside as I do. His movements are slow as he tests how ready I am for him, but as he fills me, I can’t help myself—I push down to take him all the way.
“Fuck,” he growls, placing his hands on my ass and pulling me close to him.
I wrap my arms and legs tightly around him, grinding slowly.
Oh, God.
So good.
While I’m grinding and rocking on him, he grips my hair into a ponytail and pulls my head back. He then drops his mouth to my neck so he can kiss and suck my skin.
When his teeth sink into me, I moan and rock a little harder. My fingers claw at his back. “Luke…” I moan again.
He doesn’t stop.
He continues sucking and biting my neck, causing chaos in my mind. Between the rocking and grinding we’re both doing, and his mouth on my neck, and the way he’s pulling my hair, I may come sooner than I usually do.
Luke owns me completely.
My body.
My thoughts.
My heart.
They’re all focused intently on him.
He lets my hair go and his mouth leaves my neck. His hands move back to cup my ass and he pushes into me harder. All the while, his eyes hold mine. “I’m falling, Callie,” he says as he tries to pull me even closer to him.
“I don’t think you can get me any closer,” I say softly while I think about what he just said.
I’m falling too.
He kisses me. “I’ll always try to get you closer.”
Oh, God, I’m falling.
I rock a little faster, desperately wanting this sooner. And yet, all I want is to make it last forever.
“Don’t speed it up, baby,” he says, his hands on my hips as he tries to slow me down.
“You’re always about delaying shit,” I murmur.
He smiles before catching my lips again. Nipping at them with his teeth, he says, “I’m all for finding ways to keep you in my arms.”
My heart bursts.
Finally.
I’m sure of it.
It’s in my chest in pieces.
I move my mouth to his ear and whisper, “I think I’ve already fallen.”
His hands grip my ass harder.
His breathing slows.
And we come together as he rocks faster with me.
Skin to skin.
Heart to heart.
Soul to soul.
We’re together in this.
22
Luke
I pull Callie closer to me and grind my dick against her ass. Fuck, this woman is everything. I had a moment of panic last night when I thought she was going to leave. The fact that Jolene can fuck with me from prison pisses me off. I just want her out of my life so I can get on with it.
Callie moans in her sleep as I take hold of her breast and continue to grind against her. Having her sleep next to me all night is something I could get used to. Something I want to get used to.
She stirs. “Luke…”
I press my mouth to her ear. “Morning, baby.”
She stills, and then she turns in my arms, a frantic look on her face. “Shit, did we fall asleep last night?”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
While I’m busy trying to get inside her, she’s busy pushing me away. Eventually, she gently slaps at my chest. “Luke!” she hisses. “Sean might come in. And I should not have slept over. Don’t you think it’s a little soon for me to sleep over?” She’s fucking adorable when she rambles.
“It’s not too soon. You need to calm down.” I grin. “And you need to let me fuck you.”
Her eyes widen. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
I roll onto my back and blow out a breath. “Fuck, Callie, since when is it not a good idea to have sex? Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me here?”
She props herself up o
n her elbow. “I’m just trying to look out for your son.” Still hissing. She’s definitely pissy at me.
I roll, this time on top of her. Positioning her arms above her head, I lift myself up so I’m not squashing her. “My son adores the hell out of you. He’s not going to care if you sleep over. And besides, he needs to get used to it, because as far as I’m concerned, it’s going to be happening a lot.”
Her breathing slows. “Really?”
“Yes, really. To all of that.” I bend to kiss her, not giving a fuck about morning breath. “Now, I’m going to—”
“Daddy, can you please turn the TV on?” Sean interrupts us right when I’m about to have my way with my woman.
I drop my head and mutter, “Fuck.”
Callie snickers and I lift my head to glare at her. “You’re missing out on something here, sweetheart. It might be your only chance today at this,” I say as I push my dick against her pussy.
She sucks in a breath and I nod before rolling off her to look at my son. “Can you give me a minute, little man?”
His eyes dart between Callie and me. He settles his gaze on her and cocks his head. “Why did you sleep in here?”
This will be interesting. I turn to face her. Red stains her cheeks as she stumbles over her words. “I was… Ummm, I was really tired, Sean, so your daddy said I could sleep over.”
I do my best not to laugh and am just about to help her out when he speaks again. “We’ve got another bed, silly. You want me to show you where it is?”
She seems relieved. “It’s okay. I don’t mind sleeping in this one.”
Wrinkles line his forehead. “Why don’t you want a bed all to yourself?”
I slide my legs out of the bed and reach for my pants on the floor. As I slide them up, I say, “Callie’s going to sleep over more often and she’ll sleep in here with me, okay?”
His eyes meet mine and he nods. “Can I sleep in here, too?”
Fuck.
This is all new territory for us and I haven’t put enough thought into how to deal with it. I mess his hair. “There’s not really enough room. Callie’s a bed hog. Besides, you’ve got Elmo to keep company in your room.”