“You look nervous,” I said as he finally took a seat.
“I’m just confused,” he managed to say.
“About?”
“I don’t want to fight, but I want to call you out,” he answered, leaning forward and clasping his hands together.
He’d cut his sandy blonde hair back, but his five o’clock shadow was looking more and more like a permanent fixture on his face.
I leaned back before letting my eyes drift down to his as he looked at me over his shoulder.
“Andy,” I said.
“I don’t think he’s your type,” Bobby admitted.
I stood and ran my hands through my hair before turning to him. “At least you and Adam agree on one thing.”
“You don’t need to get back at both of us by dating someone like that,” he said, and his body tensed as he waited for my reaction.
“What’s so bad about him?”
“All money; no brains.”
I smirked at the comment. “Yeah, you’re probably right about that.”
“Why are you dating him? Physically he’s the exact opposite of what you like—I should know. You’ve never been into me, and I’m not even as huge as him.”
Bobby took a shot at me, and I gritted my teeth.
“Tara set us up,” I explained with my hands on my hips.
“That makes sense. He’s totally her type,” he said. “I just don’t want to see you settle because Adam’s still playing the field.”
My breath caught in my throat. It was as if he was saying Adam might come to his senses, and he wasn’t acting completely nuts about the thought.
I sat back down, and he finally relaxed, leaning back and putting his arm over the back of the couch.
“What are you saying?” I asked.
“I’m saying you’ve waited what, ten years so far?”
“You hate the idea of Adam and me.”
Bobby burst into a full smile. “You have no idea how much I despise the idea, and I have no idea how I’d react—it wouldn’t be pleasant.”
“Thanks for the warning.”
“I do want you to be happy, River. I fully believe I could be the guy to do it for you if you’d let me,” Bobby’s eyes locked on mine before he continued; “but I’m not going to force that on you.”
My eyes drifted away as I carefully measured my response. I had to decide between being truthful and being nice.
“Really? Because sometimes it really feels like you are—like you flipping out at me at the grand opening, for example.”
Bobby’s large chest rose, making the fabric of his shirt pull tight. “Yeah…I told you it wouldn’t be pleasant. That’s just me thinking about the possibility Adam could have you.”
Silence fell over us, and I looked down at my shoes, playing with the laces before I glanced up at him. I took in his strong jaw line, haunting blue eyes and full lips. Gorgeous but nothing. I felt nothing.
“Bobby, I love Adam.”
“And I love you, River.”
“Will things always be this twisted?” I asked.
Bobby pulled me into his arms, kissing my head.
“I’m afraid so, but maybe if you became a fatty I’d be less attracted to you,” Bobby teased.
I yanked away from him and thumped him on the chest. I knew not to hit too hard for fear of seriously hurting myself.
“You’re an ass, you know that?”
He winked at me. “A cute ass, don’t you think?”
I rolled my eyes and he stood, wagging his butt as he made his way to the door.
“Cute, huh?” he asked again as he slipped out the door.
I picked up one of my decorative pillows and chucked it at him just as he shut it behind him.
I couldn’t help the smile on my face. The Beckerson boys sure did have a way with me.
Chapter 20
I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Andy, and I quickly came to the realization that this wasn’t the breakup coffee date when he walked in my office to place a soft kiss on my cheek before tucking his hand in my own. I tried not to grimace as he led me out of my office and down the hall towards the exit.
As I walked past Jesse’s office his brows furrowed at the hunkering man with his hand in mine. I shrugged, and he laughed before spinning in his chair to face away from me. Jesse thought I was nuts, and I was beginning to think he was right.
“So,” Andy began as we walked across the street to the Starbucks ™ . “I was thinking we needed to talk.”
“Sure,” I said.
He glanced over at me, green eyes seeming puzzled by my nonchalant reaction. Andy held the door open for me and we stood in the line without speaking. Once our coffees were ready we walked to a seat in the corner of the shop and sat across from one another.
“What’s up?” I asked.
Andy tapped his fingers on the side of the paper cup before taking a deep breath and smiling.
“I feel like the other night you were really uncomfortable with how quickly things were going.”
I blinked a few times at his observation before nodding my head.
He reached across the table and took my hands in his.
This was definitely not going the way I wanted it to.
“I didn’t mean to be too forceful,” he said, his eyes drifting away before coming back to mine. “You’re pretty hard to resist is all.”
I choked on the coffee I had just taken a sip of. He’d gone from sweet to sleazy in a matter of seconds. I shouldn’t have really been surprised, but his gentlemanly observation coupled with his cheap pickup line was startling combination.
“Thanks?”
He sighed, another surprise, he seemed to sense my dissatisfied tone—maybe he wasn’t that bad.
“All I’m saying is I’m sorry I was pushy. I get I was way out of line. We can take our time…I really like you, River,” he finally said.
I concealed my confused expression by taking a sip of my coffee.
As if I had to think about it. No.
“Sure,” I said.
I was a complete marshmallow, and I knew I’d regret it.
Andy broke into a huge smile as he took my face in his hands and kissed me. It was light, sweet, completely unanticipated, and it…kind of left me breathless—or stunned. I wasn’t sure which one it was.
When he pulled away I swore I saw Adam’s white GLI speeding away, and everything inside of me screamed. I felt like vomiting as Andy launched into a conversation about the new line of Mercedes that was coming out next year.
Why had Adam been at my work in the middle of the day? I tried to pay attention to Andy’s ramblings, but in the end my mind remained on one person…Adam.
Always, Adam.
Chapter 21
Bobby warned me when Adam showed up a few days later with yet another girlfriend. The whole thing really was my fault, or so I told myself. Adam had seen Andy and me together when he thought we’d broken up, and he’d gone out and found himself another big boobed bimbo. At least that’s what I was blaming it on. Andy’s sweetness had worn off, and he’d gone back to being pushy and egotistical after only a handful more dates—apparently his ‘waiting’ meant three dates. Still, I was glad I hadn’t had the heart to break it off with Andy when I saw Adam with her. I knew the second I saw her I was going to hate her with every inch of my being.
Everything about her made my skin crawl.
“River, this is my…” Adam began when we met in the hallway of the apartment building.
“Girlfriend,” the chick finished, sticking her hand out. “Monica.”
I was completely caught off guard by the girl, and only just managed to choke out a Nice to meet you as I stared down at her petite, barely five foot frame, and the fakest set of breasts I’d ever seen.
Her almond-shaped eyes matched the blackness of her sheet of straight hair. She was the exact opposite of me in every way, including her milky white skin. The red lip stick she’d managed to smear across Adam
’s lips only washed her out and sent my imagination into a tailspin. His lips on hers made me want to yank her hair out. I hated her more than his typical girlfriends—maybe it was because when I looked at Adam’s lips I only imagined them against mine, and now I didn’t really need to imagine…only remember.
“Are you going to come to the party tonight?” she asked, fluttering her eyelashes at me and pulling me out of my self-recrimination.
“Bobby told me about it last night—Andy thought it’d be a good idea,” I said with a shrug. I watched as Adam cringed at Andy’s name.
That’s right, buddy, cringe.
“Andy?”
“My boyfriend,” I replied.
I watched as her smug expression changed. She must have thought I was single and mopping over her recent acquirement of Adam.
“That’s so nifty! Bobby’s bringing Jackie, too,” Monica cooed.
I looked at Adam and mouthed the word nifty. Adam tilted on his heels and scratched his ear.
“I thought Bobby broke up with Jackie?” I asked, watching as Adam’s face turned red.
“Well, they are totes back together. Jackie and I work together,” Monica said.
Her lingo was ridiculous, and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing at her.
She narrowed her eyes at me and cocked her head.
“You know what? Jackie kind of looks a lot like you…except she’s blonde,” Monica said.
I watched as Adam blinked his eyes in shock.
“Doesn’t she?” Monica asked him.
“Yeah,” Adam began, rubbing his scruff; “a bit.”
“Any who—can’t wait to meet your Andy.”
I couldn’t bit my tongue. “I don’t own him.”
She shrugged at me. “Ready to go, Boo?”
Adam swallowed and his eyes were hard and vacant.
He did not like being called that.
“Sure.”
He still answered to it, though.
Chapter 22
When Andy came to my door and swept me into an overzealous kiss I suddenly felt myself looking forward to the party. It meant we were in public, and he couldn’t get too far with his frantic groping.
Adam greeted Andy and me at the door, and before I could respond Andy scooted straight to the beer cooler. I stood next to Adam taking in the room, and my eyes easily found Monica.
“Don’t make that face,” Adam said as he handed me a red cup.
“What face?” I tried to act innocent. It wasn’t like I could ever hide anything from him, especially when it came to my facial expressions.
“It would really mean a lot to me if you attempted to like at least one of my girlfriends,” Adam said, his hand on the small of my back as he guided me into the room.
I looked down at him as he dropped onto the couch.
“Really? You think I’ll ever like someone who uses the word nifty? I honestly didn’t think you’d ever like anyone who used that word either, Boo,” I shot back as I sat next to him and took a sip of the bitter tasting liquid in the cup.
Adam leaned forward and flicked a hair away from my eyes. “That’s not very nice, Riv.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re selling out.”
Adam’s arms flung out across the top of the couch as he fell back, bursting into cynical laughter. “And you’re not?”
I didn’t answer and our eyes met, cutting off his laughter.
“I’m going to get myself another drink,” Adam said as he stood in sudden discomfort.
I watched him walking away. His back muscles were tensed under the thin cotton of his shirt, and I wondered if he would come back to sit with me. I glanced around the room to see Andy had disappeared into the throng of moving bodies. As my eyes drifted they landed back on Monica standing next to a girl who looked much like me, with a bit more junk and too much bleach in her hair. They were both scantily clad in skinny jeans with more holes than fabric and barely there tank tops that their oversized busts threatened to burst out of. I closed my eyes and swallowed back another swig of the nasty stuff Adam had given me.
I didn’t know why he’d handed me a beer when he knew I hated them.
A cough made me open my eyes just as I finished the last of the liquid in the cup. Adam’s eyes bore into mine as he handed me a hard apple cider.
“I figured this would wash away the taste of that,” he said, and his thin lips tilted to one side in a clever smile.
“I didn’t think you’d come back,” I replied as I took the drink and swished it around my mouth.
“Eh, I guess we should call a truce on this one,” he said with a shrug before he knocked back a gulp of caramel colored liquid in a shot glass.
“Southern Comfort?”
Adam nodded. “Smooth.”
“Disgusting is more like it,” I joked.
“Fruity drinks are for girls,” he shot back.
We sat in silence as I finished my drink and he knocked back a few more shots from the bottle he brought with him.
“You sure you don’t want some?” Adam asked, and I could tell he was on his way to wasteland from the glassy look in his eyes.
“Sure, why the hell not?”
Adam chuckled as he handed me the shot and watched me tip it back. The liquid burned down my throat, and I came up coughing. Adam patted my back until I stopped, but then his hand remained there, fingers running over my spine.
“You know what I wonder?” Adam broke the silence as my body heated from his touch, or the alcohol, or both.
I rested my chin on my shoulder and sighed at him. He swallowed as his gaze ran over my bare arms and up to my face.
“What?” I asked, biting my lip so his eyes drifted to them.
His eyes remained there for a second before he answered.
“Why we keep choosing people we know we’ll never be committed to.”
It was more of a statement than a question, and I nodded for another shot. Adam’s brow furrowed, but he poured me another and watched me drink it.
I didn’t cough this time.
“Because we’re masochists for watching each other with anyone but one another,” I replied.
I looked down at the shot glass. Shit was like truth serum—very bad.
Adam’s fingers ran up my back before running down my arms. His eyes watched the goose bumps as they appeared beneath his touch.
“What about you and Bobby torturing each other, is that the same?” he asked in a low voice as he leaned his arms against his thighs.
I let my fingers trace the stars exposed on his forearm as the room became a hollow drone around us.
“Bobby doesn’t torture me, and I don’t mean to torture him,” I replied.
The pounding of the bass in the background faded to a dull thud, and the voices of the others at the party muted to nothing against the pressure of my heart in my chest and Adam’s breath lingering with mine as our gazes locked on one another.
“So why do you torture me, River?” Adam’s voice was a coarse whisper, and it reminded me of his singing—all emotion and raw pain.
My breath locked in my throat as I tried to comprehend the question, its meaning and how my heart suddenly felt as though it was shattering into a thousand pieces and being welded back together again.
“Hey you!” Monica broke our conversation as she slid into Adam’s lap.
Adam’s head snapped back, and he blinked several times at her as if he was trying to figure out who she was.
I could feel the burn of alcohol instantly making its way up my throat as I glared at her.
“Hi,” he finally said.
She smiled at him as she moved her arms around his neck and shoved her chest into his face.
“I think we need to do some body shots, Boo,” she cooed at him.
Adam’s eyes darted from her to me before he nodded. “Sure.”
I wanted to scream. Why? Why would you do that after what you just said? Instead, I sat back and my eyes zoned in on the em
pty bottle of Southern Comfort. I wanted to chuck the thing across the room.
“Hey!” Tara’s voice cracked into my skull as I tried to obliterate the glass bottle with my mind.
She hopped into my lap and stared down at me with puppy dog eyes.
“You look like you need more to drink,” she said.
“I could use something that doesn’t taste like acid,” I replied, and she pulled me up from the couch and towards a pink cooler.
“Here you are,” she said as she handed me something the same color as the cooler.
It tasted like lemonade, which was fine with me. I combed the room for Adam, but couldn’t find him. He was probably getting his brained screwed out by that bitch.
“You look like you’re ready to kill someone,” Tara said, and I realized I hadn’t said one thing to her.
“When did you get here?” I managed to ask.
She raised one eyebrow before answering, “About an hour ago—you invited me, remember? I saw you and Adam on the couch and figured I best leave you alone, though.”
“Mhmm,” I replied.
“Being drunk sure makes you bitchy, huh?” Tara stated the obvious.
I shook my head. “Adam having a girlfriend makes me a bitch.”
“That reminds me, where’s your boyfriend?” Tara asked.
“Where’s yours?”
“Eh, I broke it off with him. He was kind of stupid,” she admitted with a shrug.
“Andy’s right up there, too,” I said before tipping back the rest of my drink.
Tara and I burst stared at each other for a moment before bursting into ridiculous giggles.
“I’m going to go find Bobby,” Tara said, continuing to giggle as she walked away.
I shrugged, looking around the room before deciding I should probably find my vanishing boyfriend and end it with him. I wasn’t so wasted I didn’t have my wits about me, but I was gone enough to be truthful with myself.
I didn’t like one thing about him.
The problem was, I couldn’t find him anywhere and there weren’t many places to hide in Adam’s apartment. I was starting to feel like Adam wasn’t the only one who abandoned me. I made my way to the last room to check, Bobby’s, and opened the door half-heartedly only to hear a soft moan.
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