I picked up my pace and turned to face her, stopping her in her tracks.
“The reason I’m asking is because I spent practically my whole life feeling like that.”
Our eyes met, and I watched as hers darkened to the turquoise color which meant she was upset.
“I’ll make him forget you.”
The tone that came with the words was hard.
I gave a quick nod. “We’re giving you time to do that before we tell him.”
“Fine,” she replied. “Give me two more weeks.”
“Two more weeks it is,” I said with a smile as my mind drifted to a total of four days where Adam and I didn’t have to watch our every move.
“Eww!” Tara yelped, slapping my arm.
“What?” I asked as we began to walk again.
“You’re totally thinking about how many places you and Adam can screw without worrying about getting caught!”
“That wasn’t the entire thought,” I fired back.
“Well, if you’re thinking of the apartment—Bobby and I have touched every surface except for Adam’s bedroom and bathroom.”
“You two are like bunny rabbits, I swear!” I said.
“I don’t even want to think about how much action the back of the GLI has gotten,” Tara shot back as I opened the door.
“The GLI is sacred ground, Tara. You should know Adam would never taint that,” I replied.
She shrugged. “I’d make it so he couldn’t wait to get home.”
“Are you saying I can’t?”
We faced one another, and she crossed her arms.
“Wouldn’t you say Bobby’s truck is pretty sacred to him?”
I narrowed my eyes at her. The Beckerson boys both loved their vehicles almost as much as they loved their guitars or hockey sticks.
“You’re sick.”
“No, I’m just that good.”
I choked at the comment just as the models came out of the dressing room. I closed my eyes as I looked at the male model in boxer briefs.
“Mhmm…tasty,” Tara commented; “and I don’t mean the cake.”
“Oh, puke!” I hissed back. “I thought Bobby was all you wanted.”
She cocked her head at the model, and she wasn’t looking at his face. “Bobby’s bigger.”
I crossed my eyes as I gagged.
“Both of you need to learn what information I don’t mind hearing, and what information makes me want to burn my earlobes off.”
“Oh, so you do know how good I am!”
I clapped my hands and walked towards my models.
“I suppose you’re Mark, and Angela?”
Chapter 29
Thursday was boy’s night out, so even though Tara had invited herself to the photo shoot I was glad she came. I was even happier when she remembered she had left some of her clothes the last time she came over. I wasn’t used to spending the night alone anymore, and I knew Adam was too exhausted after whatever he did on Thursdays to come over. Tara took away my obsessive thoughts about where Adam was with “his boys”. I trusted Adam, but it bugged me that we’d known each other almost our whole lives, and I’d never realized he did this almost every week.
“So what’s the first thing you’re going to do tomorrow with Bobby gone?” Tara asked, smirking over the top of the pillow she was hugging.
“Leave the apartment holding Adam’s hand,” I replied after a moment of thought.
“Aww! You’re too cute—you’re blushing so much right now!” Tara said. “So…has the L word been mentioned at all?”
“You mean love?” I asked. She nodded, and I shrugged. “He hasn’t said it.”
“Does that bug you?” Tara asked, moving up the bed and resting her head in her hands.
“We haven’t been dating that long.”
Tara blinked at me a few times before she sat up and crossed her legs. “You’ve known each other since you were five!”
“Maybe he doesn’t love me yet?”
“Oh! Bullshit!”
“What?”
“You don’t think he’d know if he loved you?”
I looked at my fingernails as my chest rose with a sigh. “It doesn’t mean he wants to say it.”
“He is Adam,” Tara said. “I doubt he’s ever said the word before.”
Our eyes locked on each other, and we both nodded in unison.
“Probably not. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve even heard him say it to his parents,” I said.
“Really?” Tara was interested now.
“Nope, they have a rough relationship.”
“Speaking of which, I haven’t seen your parents lately?” she observed.
“Eh, my mom is busy with her new job, and my dad, well…I think he’s kind of upset I flipped out on the Beckersons’. He’s very proper, you know?”
“I would’ve loved to see it,” she said.
I shook my head. “You wouldn’t have—I made Bobby super upset.”
“I could’ve comforted him…and that would’ve sped up this whole process of us both getting the booty we wanted,” Tara teased.
“Yeah, it’s all about the booty,” I fired back as I leaned back against the headboard.
A pillow suddenly struck me in the head. “Stop thinking about it! I know you’ve done it in this bed, but God, keep those thoughts kosher while I’m sitting on it!”
I snatched the pillow up and chucked it at her head. “You’re the one who told me all about tainting every surface in Adam’s apartment!”
“It was a fair warning!” she said as she grabbed the pillow from the air and smacked me with it.
Then it was on. A full blown pillow fight ensued only stopping when a whistle came from the doorway.
“I, honest to God, thought this sort of thing never happened in real life!” Adam commented.
We both turned and dropped our pillows when we saw him. Caught red handed, at least we were both fully dressed, so it wasn’t a full blown guy fantasy.
“I thought you’d come home and go to sleep,” I said as I hopped down off the bed.
“I was going to, but then I heard some distinct squealing and was wondering what my girlfriend was up to,” Adam replied with a smirk. “I’m glad it wasn’t what I thought it could be.”
“Ha!” Tara jumped down as well. “River would never cheat on you! She hasn’t stopped talking about what you guys are going to do with Bobby gone for a whole weekend.”
Adam’s eyebrows twitched, and his lip ring pulled ever so slightly in his mouth.
“Really?” he asked.
Tara shrugged. “Something about holding hands where everyone can see.”
“Oh,” Adam said, suddenly looking guilty.
“God! You two are such perverts!” Tara replied as she slipped past Adam into the living room.
“You look exhausted,” I said as I wrapped my arms around Adam’s neck. His eyes had dark circles under them, and his hair was still damp with sweat from his activities.
He nodded. “A bit.”
“Tara’s sleeping over,” I explained.
Adam smiled. “I kind of got that picture.”
“I can take the couch!” Tara called over to us as she came out of the bathroom.
Adam leaned down and kissed me. “I had my boy’s night, so you can have your girl’s night.”
“Are you sure?” I asked.
He nodded.
“We have all weekend to hold hands,” he replied, before winking and turning to leave.
“Behave!” he said to Tara, pointing a finger at her.
Tara stopped, put her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows. “Really, Adam?”
Adam’s shoulders rose and fell as he laughed. The smile on his face as he closed the door behind him left me breathless and wishing I could drag him back in.
“Where does he go?” Tara asked as she flopped on the couch with a bag of chips and a soda.
I sat down with her and took the bag, throwing some chips in my mou
th before answering, “Not a clue.”
She chugged her soda and burped before turning to me crinkling my nose. She smiled wide.
“We should so stalk him one Thursday and find out what his dirty little secret is…Oh! I forgot you’re his dirty little secret!”
“Where’s that pillow when I need to biff you with it?” I shot back.
Tara sat forward and pulled the throw pillow from her back and waved it in my face.
“Mine…all mine!” she taunted me, sticking her tongue out as she pulled it away from my grabbing hands.
“I figure he’ll tell me what he’s up to when he’s ready to.”
Tara narrowed her eyes before shrugging and grabbing the chips back. She was fixed on the TV now, and my thoughts had drifted back to what Adam had been doing.
There were only so many things you dressed semi-casual for and then still ended up sweating your ass off…There wasn’t any I could think of at the moment I’d be okay with.
“What are you getting?” Tara asked as I stood.
“Ice cream.”
I needed it now.
Chapter 30
When I woke up Tara was already up, humming to herself in the kitchen and from the smell wafting over me, she was cooking.
I shot up in bed. Those were two things that were very unlike Tara. She never woke up earlier than eight, and she sure as hell didn’t cook, especially not…French toast. Then I heard another familiar voice, and the sound made a happy sigh come from my chest. I slipped out of bed and peeked into the living room to see Tara sitting at the island twirling around on a bar stool with Adam behind the stove.
He already had a button-up shirt and vest combo on that was making me drool. He hadn’t put his tie on yet and his shirt was just unbuttoned enough to show the shape of his chest. Tara spun around to see me and smirked, fluttering her hand over her face in his hotness. I mouthed the words I know, right, and she nodded in response.
I made my way into the kitchen and wrapped my arms around Adam, standing on my toes to tuck my chin in his collarbone and kiss his neck.
“That better be River,” Adam said.
“You’re so not my type,” Tara shot back as Adam turned and kissed me.
We both looked over at her in disbelief.
“You were so drooling over there,” Adam said, pointing to her with the spatula.
She shrugged with her eyes wide and innocent. “For the French toast!”
Adam blinked at her a few times, and she smiled widely back at him.
“Sure,” Adam said, drawing out the word.
“Did you make—”
“Your cup’s right there.” Adam cut me off with a nod to the counter.
“Mhmm,” I said as I let go of him and grabbed the cup with both hands and took a deep sip. “Perfect, as always.”
Tara huffed behind me, and I turned slowly to face her. “What?”
She sat with her head in her chin, voluptuous lips pursed as she swayed her feet side to side.
“I know I’m not from around here, but I just don’t get it…It’s barely fall, and Bobby’s already away for something to do with hockey?”
“You really aren’t from around here,” Adam said as he divided out the food and handed each of us each a plate.
I went around to the other side of the island to sit next to Tara. This way we could both drool over Adam as he ate.
“Connecticut isn’t that far away,” Tara fired back as she shoved a piece of French toast in her mouth.
Adam raised an eyebrow at her before shaking his head. “Whatever part you’re from must be Alaska compared to here.”
“Whatever! Just explain to me why they’re freezing their asses off in a skating rink instead of basking in the remaining summer sun?” Tara asked.
“You want to explain it?” Adam asked, tiling his head at me as he brought his coffee up to his lips.
“Hockey’s a big sport around here. It’s really like any other sport,” I began to explain with a shrug. “The players prepare all year for the next season.”
Tara huffed again before taking a sip of her orange juice. “Still sucks.”
“Hockey is pretty much Bobby’s life, so you’ll have to get used to it,” I said.
“I don’t think I’m going to be able to get used to him going away for days on end. It’s just…weird.”
Adam and I looked at each other. We had both agreed from the time we were kids that the hockey tournaments were a reprieve, usually not so much from Bobby as from their parents. The gushing over how amazing he did was plenty punishment when they got back for enjoying the fact they were gone.
“You get used to it,” Adam said.
“Sure you two will.” Tara pointed between us with her fork.
“Hey, he’s still my best friend and brother,” Adam reminded her as he took our plates from us and placed them in the sink.
“You have to admit right now,” Tara pushed; “it’s just what you two need.”
Adam and I looked between one another.
“Despite whatever drama this creates, he’s still the best part of my family—well, besides myself,” Adam said as he popped his collar and leaned back against the countertop.
“Yeah, what’s that about? I always got the idea from River that your parents were nuts…Bobby doesn’t seem to share that view.” Tara ignored his flaunting as I burst into a huge smile, which quickly vanished in response to her question.
Adam’s smirk and air of arrogance disappeared as his eyes averted to his feet, and his fingers found the belt loops of his slacks. He tapped his foot before licking his lips.
“Bobby’s kind of the exact opposite of me,” he said.
“Duh?” Tara chimed in.
Adam took a deep breath as he looked up at us.
“You can understand how they’d love one of us more than the other then.”
Tara’s forehead wrinkled at the comment, and she shook her head. “Not at all.”
“Well,” Adam sighed; “that’s the way it is in the Beckerson family.”
“I don’t think Bobby would agree,” she said with a shake of her head.
Adam’s eyes found mine as he bit his lip.
“Bobby doesn’t see it, because he doesn’t believe it to be true. Bobby doesn’t see Adam any different than himself. Adam is just Adam. I guess that’s because he doesn’t feel the way they do about him, and he’s blinded by the love they show him. He just doesn’t see it,” I said, saving Adam from the awkwardness of admitting it.
Tara looked between us. “It still doesn’t make sense to me—I mean I have a brother, and I’ve never felt like my parents loved him anymore than me.”
“Lucky you,” Adam said.
Tara was beginning to look uncomfortable, and I knew Adam was by his averted eyes and tapping foot.
“You’ll see someday. They also despise me!” I said as I stood.
“Now that I definitely don’t believe! Especially seeing both Beckerson boys adore you.”
I looked over to see Adam smirking.
“Exactly!” he said.
“Your family makes about as much sense as hockey year round!” Tara finally said with a confused shake of her head.
“Get used to it,” Adam replied as he came around the island and gave me a kiss.
“I guess I’ll have to,” Tara said, her eyebrows still scrounged in confusion. “Well, you two make out or whatever you do before work. I’m going to take a shower!”
When she left Adam sat on the bar stool and pulled me into his arms.
“She’s not all that bad, huh?” he asked.
“No, she just really likes Bobby.”
“I bet she’s as glad as I am that you decided I was the better brother,” he said as he nipped at my neck.
I turned and pulled at the collar of his shirt. “I prefer Abercrombie and Fitch to Chippendales.”
His head tilted back with a chuckle, and I kissed the stubble of his chin. “You liked that comment,
huh?”
“It was kind of adorable. It’s one of my favorite memories of us, despite the circumstances.”
“Any other favorites?” Adam asked, his eyes running over my face and meeting mine.
I nodded. “I think they all are. You?”
“When your mom took away your nightlight, and I snuck into your bedroom with a jar of fireflies. You flipped out on me because you were afraid I was going to kill your beloved wish-granting-fairies!”
“You’re never going to let me live that one down, will you?”
His eyes bore into mine as his hands ran over the bare skin of my arms. I took a deep breath as he kissed my chin.
“Are you still afraid of the dark?” His voice was thick as he asked the words, and every part of me yearned to rip the sexy teacher-getup he was wearing off.
“Not when you’re here,” I murmured back.
“Then I won’t ever leave.”
His lips hovered above mine, threatening to consume every part of me until I couldn’t take it anymore and leaned into him.
The kiss was soft and slow as his hands moved down my arms until our fingers entwined. The embrace was so light, and our hands stayed within one another, yet I yearned to them wander; to show him how much I loved him.
That was it—I loved him desperately, completely, and he wasn’t threatening to consume me anymore. He already had. Everything that was me was him. My heart, mind and soul were all as much a part of him as they were me. His lips moved from mine and our eyes met, staring into one another’s souls. I couldn’t separate what parts of me were because of him, and what parts of me were my own. Somehow over the years they became one in the same. Only now did I see how utterly lost I’d become in him. There was no going back. I only hoped he’d never leave, because that was the darkness that truly scared me now.
Chapter 31
When I got home Adam was sitting on the hood of his car in the parking spot next to mine with his eyes closed as his thumb tapped a beat against the metal. I knew he must hear my car idling there, but still he didn’t move, so lost in his music he didn’t care. I put the car in park and grabbed my camera to snap the shot before hopping back inside and pulling into the spot.
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