I shrugged. At least a couple of us were chilled out.
Nearby, Sam sat on the edge of the couch, and even from where I stood, I could feel how frayed her nerves were. Had the fire really only happened less than twelve hours ago? She looked better rested after a short nap, but the dark circles remained. When I caught her eye, she sent me a smile that was soft enough to remind me of how we’d spent last night—and why her tired expression wasn’t necessarily a bad thing when you considered our pre-fire activities.
In the middle of a situation that was completely out of my control, at least I could love her. It would have to be enough.
“Okay, troops. We’ve got about an hour before Sam has to leave for class,” Brittany said, nodding at the window where the morning sun had risen above the horizon. “Let’s officially call this strategy meeting to order, shall we?”
I turned back to the group assembled just as Safar came in from outside, joining us.
I gave her a questioning look and she nodded, explaining, “Wards are intact. Nothing to indicate a breach, although we have to assume RJ would have used the fire to track our location. And the gathering of werewolves outside the perimeter has increased.” She frowned. “By a lot.”
“Increased?” Sam repeated, dismay registering.
My own muscles tensed at that. I wasn’t worried about it as long as the wards were up but …
“We need to have some serious fire power on our side tomorrow night when those wards come down,” Brittany said.
Breck grunted an agreement from behind a bag of peas he was using to ice his eye. It looked better now that Sam had cleaned it up, but that wasn’t saying much. “Without CHAS, we don’t have access to enough weapons or ammo to even stand a chance,” he muttered.
I shot him a look. “Not helpful, bro.”
“Just stating facts of the mission,” he said.
I ignored him. The asshole was grumpy when he was injured, and I was not going to let his negativity drag everyone down. Not when Sam was in danger of losing her hope already. She hadn’t said those words exactly, but when she’d asked me to lead the discussion, I knew then she was losing herself. Desperation tugged at me, but I shoved it aside. Today was a day for logic and strategy and action. Today was a day for fighting. After the equinox, we could all fall apart. Not today.
“What we need is an alternative method of grounding or rooting Sam tonight for the merging ceremony,” I said.
Harold’s eyes brimmed instantly with tears, and I cursed myself for even inviting him here. But he did have gifts that might prove valuable. We’d all have to postpone our grieving—just like we’d done all along.
“Harold,” I said as gently as I could. He looked up, his eyes glazed over thanks to the join in his hand. “You’re a Finder. Can you look for a power source we can use for Sam’s merging?”
“I’m sorry, son,” he said, with a sad shake of his head. “The only sources large enough would need to be transported to be here in time. Without those trees …”
He trailed off, his eyes watering, and I nodded. “Yeah, I know. Thanks.” I turned to Koby. “What about you guys?”
“There’s nothing,” Koby said bleakly, looking up from the laptop. “Brittany and I have spent hours doing internet searches, trying to come up with something. But …”
“The only thing more powerful than Sam is—” Brittany cut herself off just before she uttered the name.
I growled at her anyway, a reflex.
“Sorry,” she muttered.
“No,” I said on a sigh. “You’re right. Let’s talk about that. Are we anywhere with figuring out his plans for the equinox or even what we should expect tomorrow tonight?”
Breck shifted the bag of peas, peering at me from his good eye. “We don’t know. In fact, the list of what we don’t know is too fucking long to list right now. That’s the problem.”
“Will someone please pass this guy the joint?” I snapped. Breck blinked and then scowled. Brittany muffled a laugh. I took a deep breath. “Okay, let’s try something a little more productive. What do we know?”
“We know that RJ used Mt. Shasta as an energy point to store and retrieve Ea’s power so that he could go undetected among us,” Brittany said.
“And we know Shasta is one of the more powerful energy points,” Koby put in. His eyes flicked back to the screen and scanned as he read whatever he’d pulled up.
“Right,” I said. “And that the power of the mountain is enough to root him so that he can fully merge with Ea. According to Kiwi and Mirabelle, Shasta is a locational access point that makes it ideal for communing with God.”
“Uh.” Koby looked up from the laptop uncertainly. “Or for summoning them through flames.”
“What?” I stared at him, more confused than anything.
“I found an article on the world’s energy points. It’s not verifiable, and I have no way of knowing if it’s reliable as it’s an old blog from some New Age—”
“Koby,” I snapped.
“Right.” He cleared his throat, and I could tell he was refocusing. Too much of Harold’s joint, probably. He blinked a few more times and frowned at the screen.
“Just give it to me,” Brittany said, snatching the laptop and pulling it into her lap. “Okay. It says here Mt. Shasta’s energy field is also referred to as ‘The Violet Flame.’”
“Flame?” Breck repeated, lowering the peas to stare at Brittany with both eyes now. “As in fire?”
Brittany went on, still reading, “It says when the energy field and flame are combined, it creates a condition where humans can step into their roles as ascended masters and become their own physical versions of God consciousness on Earth.”
“You mean like enough energy to beat the shit out of someone without actually touching them with your fists?” Breck asked.
Everyone fell silent, exchanging looks with one another.
“That means …” Brittany trailed off, finally looking up at me and then Sam who hadn’t spoken or moved through the entire conversation.
“The fire wasn’t about Breck or the witches or Sam’s merge,” I said quietly. “Those were side effects.”
“It was about RJ,” Sam said quietly. “And I think it’s safe to say he’s begun to merge.”
Deafening silence stretched between us until the only sound was Breck’s bag of peas falling from his hand and onto the hardwood floor. I looked up sharply and found him watching me, his expression hard. Not grumpy like before. Ready.
“We’re soldiers, man,” he said, rising slowly. “Tell me who to kill and you know I’ll fucking do it. But whatever we do, we are not going to sit here and wait for death to find us. If we can’t agree on that, I’m walking out now and taking care of this shit-show my way. With a weapon in my hand and the fucking determination of armies in my veins. This is my sister’s life we’re talking about. I don’t have room for anything else.”
I nodded slowly, a thrill shooting up my spine at his words.
No one spoke for a long moment.
Finally, Harold blew out a cloud of smoke and held up his joint like a toast. “Here, here, brother-in-arms,” he cried.
Koby offered a lopsided smile.
“What?” Breck asked, looking around. “Was it too much?”
“Dude, as battle cries go, that one was pretty spectacular,” I admitted.
He rolled his shoulders and shot me a crooked smile. “Thanks. I took a communications class in high school.”
“Guys,” Brittany said sharply. She nodded at Sam.
I looked over to find Sam on her feet and there was something strangely unfocused about her gaze as she stared past Koby at the wall.
“A power not greater,” she said in a voice I didn’t like now any more than the first time I’d heard it. She turned slowly and looked right at me, sending a shudder through me as she said, “The answer is you, Alex. Transference.”
I opened my mouth but no sound came. I couldn’t find the words I ne
eded. It was Hina who had just spoken, that was for damn sure. But what the hell was the question she’d just given me the answer to?
Before I could ask, Sam’s shoulders slumped and she crumpled.
Safar beat me there and caught Sam just before she hit the floor, hefting her easily and laying her on the couch. I bent low next to Safar, watching while Safar pulled at Sam’s eyelids and took her pulse. Everyone else crowded around behind us.
“Is she okay?” Brittany asked nervously.
“She’s fine,” Safar said finally, but I didn’t relax until I saw the steady rise and fall of Sam’s chest for myself.
“Is she—?” I stopped, not even sure I wanted to know the answer.
“The full moon approaches,” Safar said. “Hina will be getting stronger now.”
“Shit. We need to leave for class,” Brittany said, glancing from her phone’s clock display back to me.
“She can’t go to school like this,” I said.
I shared a look with Safar. She cocked her head at me. “There is someone we could send in her place.”
My eyes widened. “Hell no.”
Safar looked at Brittany who was shaking her head in confusion.
“Indra,” I bit out, “Is not leaving these walls.”
Brittany’s eyes widened. “Oh.”
“I could ward her,” Safar said. “She would be safe.”
“Yeah and what about everyone else who comes into contact with her?” I asked. “Who will make them safe from her?”
“Give me some credit,” Brittany said. “I can handle her. And Safar is right. If we put a hat on her and maybe some glasses, she could pass for Sam.”
“Indra will never, ever be Sam,” I said, heat creeping through my veins just thinking about the comparison.
Breck’s hand came down on my shoulder. “We know, bro. But the plan is solid. And we don’t need any distractions right now, especially nothing from the human world. Let them do this.”
I didn’t answer.
Koby stood. “I will go with them. I’ll keep a close eye on Indra’s mood and if anything shifts too far, we’ll remove her.”
I eyed him carefully, weighing the risks, and then looked back at Sam one last time. She hadn’t moved but she was breathing more normally now, like she was only asleep and not locked inside herself with a goddess trying to take control.
“All right,” I said finally. “Take Indra to school.”
Brittany and Koby both immediately sprang into action gathering supplies. A moment later, they disappeared upstairs.
I sighed. “This better work.”
“It will,” Breck said. “I’m going to make a call and see if I can get us some more weapons and ammo for tomorrow.”
“Wait,” I said, grabbing his arm to stop him. “Not CHAS.”
“No. Not CHAS,” he agreed.
“Then who?”
“I’m going to reach out to my old company. See if any of those contacts can hook us up.” Still, I didn’t let him go. He met my gaze. “I won’t go behind your back again,” he added.
I finally nodded and let him go. Harold was the only one left and he’d gone into some sort of meditation, humming softly with his eyes closed, what was left of the joint discarded on the edge of the table.
“Why hasn’t she woken yet?” I asked Safar.
She straightened from where she’d been checking Sam’s pulse again. “I’ve seen it before. She’s resisting,” Safar said.
“Is that good or bad?” I asked.
“It’s evidence that we must find a way to make the merge work,” she said.
“We have a day left. We’ll figure something out,” I said, but my words felt empty. I had no idea where to even start. Safar didn’t answer, and I wondered if she felt as hopeless as I did. “Is there anything you can do? With your gifts, I mean? You helped her when we came to you before. At Jin’s the night I was shot.”
She shook her head. “It’s not that simple. That first night … Sam didn’t want to face RJ’s betrayal. The loss of his friendship. It wasn’t Hina I had to coax, it was Sam. But now … I draw out secrets. The things inside us we don’t want to face. If I use that on Sam now, it will only draw Hina closer to the surface.” She sighed. “My gift won’t help us here … We need a power that will root her. It’s the only way.”
“Then that’s what we’re going to find,” I said, remembering Breck’s speech from earlier. He was right. This was Sam’s life we were talking about. For that, I would fight. Always. There wasn’t room for anything else.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Sam
The bedroom door creaked as I pulled it gently open—but not gently enough. Alex sat up suddenly, startling me, and I froze as his eyes opened and he spotted me trying to sneak out. The moonlight was plenty to wash the space in a glow that illuminated his sleepy form. I tried not think about that. One more night and it would be full.
“Sorry,” I said, already backing out to let him sleep. I’d woken hours ago from a strange sleep, only to be told about my outburst as Hina before I’d passed out. Now, the last thing I wanted to do was drift off again. There was too much still to figure out. Tonight might be the last night I had. I didn’t want to waste it.
“Don’t go,” Alex said, his voice heavy and lazy with exhaustion. “Come here.”
He held out his hand, and I couldn’t refuse. I closed the door behind me and crawled over the blankets and into his arms, pressing my face against his bare chest and inhaling him as he held on to me, stroking my hair and kissing the top of my head.
Smoke stained the air between us, but underneath that, the smell of Alex—dirt and earth and soap—comforted me. After I’d woken, I’d gone to work despite Alex’s attempts to babysit me. I’d helped Harold clean and clear the woods and then air out the house from the fire. But the smell of smoke lingered. As did my worry.
“I heard Indra didn’t kill anyone at college today,” I said, mostly to avoid the real elephant in the room.
Earlier today, Brittany and Koby had returned from school, sent Indra back to her room, and gone back to work on the computer searching for some token or person who might hold enough power to root me for tomorrow’s merge. Preferably someone within driving distance. But so far, no one had found anything.
The general consensus was that we were doing it anyway—and we all just hoped the moon itself might be enough. According to Koby’s research, calling down the moon was an ancient practice witches used to draw power. Maybe it would work for me too. Except that the moon was Hina and Hina was the moon, so it could just as easily have the opposite effect.
But it was the only option we had.
“She also didn’t bother to shower before they left so you might get a few personal hygiene questions when you finally go back there,” Alex said.
I chuckled. “If that’s the worst of our problems …” I trailed off and felt Alex’s pulse thud harder beneath my ear at the reminder of everything we were facing.
I didn’t answer.
“Are you okay?” he asked, eventually breaking the silence.
It was the question I’d avoided all day. I pulled back enough to sit up and offer him a wry smile. “I was going to ask you the same thing.”
Alex stared back at me, tired lines ringing his eyelids and mouth. But the dark brown of his eyes was full of warmth. “Exhausted. Worried. Angry. But I’m okay.”
“Yeah.” I exhaled. “That about sums it up for me too. Breck still won’t let me fix him. Says he wants to use it as fuel for what he’s going to do to RJ.”
He smirked. “You gotta admire his drive.”
“He’s being an idiot feeling needless pain like that.”
“It’s a matter of perspective.”
I cocked my head at that. “You don’t really want to see him hurt … right?”
“Who? Breck? Hell no. I respect the shit out of that guy.”
I couldn’t help but shake my head. “He said the same thing about
you, you know. You guys have an interesting way of showing it.”
“I like to enjoy the tension in a relationship.” He winked. “But you already knew that about me.”
I laughed and the sound of it jolted me. When was the last time I’d done that, anyway? Alex noticed it too and his expression softened as he reached up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “I’ve missed that sound,” he said quietly, his thumbs brushing lightly over the skin underneath my eyes. I knew I must have dark circles—my nap earlier hadn’t exactly been restful.
“I haven’t had much reason to,” I said, unable to keep the sadness out of my voice, and he didn’t argue. “Did you hear back from Edie about our request?”
“Just a text. She says she’ll call when she can, but … They won’t get here in time,” he said quietly.
I tried not to let that discourage me, but it was no use. Kiwi and Mirabelle had been the only other witches who might have been able to root me, and now they wouldn’t be here. The last of my hope drained away. “I thought they were still in Portland cleaning up RJ’s—”
“Edie flew them to Thailand.”
I sat up and stared down at him. “For what?”
“They’re looking for an energy point,” he said but the defeat in his voice made it clear exactly how that was going.
“But there are lots of energy points. Why Thailand?”
“Something about the original village where Hina bestowed her magic on human witches.”
“In other words, they haven’t found anything useful about the equinox,” I said. It wasn’t a question, but Alex shook his head anyway. I sighed. “Well. At least they’ll be safe.”
“Come here,” he said, drawing me back down again. I lowered my head and felt the rise and fall of his chest steady itself again. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who needed this for comfort. His hand moved through my hair, stroking out the tangles.
I stared blankly at the opposite wall, steeling my stomach against the strange fluttering that had begun the moment I’d woken earlier. I hadn’t mentioned it to the others. It didn’t matter anyway. In less than twenty-four hours, I’d either be me—or I wouldn’t.
Defiance (Heart Lines Series Book 5) Page 19