by Mira Maxwell
A chance for a life that was never an option before.
“Where’s Branyx?” I ask Kjallak when I emerge from the sleeping quarters a while later. After looking all over the ship, I finally found him taking inventory in the ship’s weapons room.
“He’s outside, digging pits,” Kjallak says, hefting a huge cannon-looking weapon onto his shoulder. “This one is my favorite.” He smiles at me, his mood still high and happy after a successful fight. I used my adrenaline rush to make a move with Margo. To help me stop thinking about what consequences being together will have for both of us. Kjallak is here admiring the bounty of weapons and Branyx is working off his extra adrenaline with physical labor.
“Branyx wastes no time. Pits are a good idea as long as we can dig them deep enough.” Kjallak sets the cannon back down and starts rummaging through the rest of the weapons closet.
“They will be an asset, no question,” he says, loading his arms with a variety of guns. “These weapons will help to even the odds.” He clangs them down on the table between us and then sets each one out in order to take inventory of the weapons we have on board.
“Perhaps she will fix the ship before they arrive. Then there will be no need to fight.” I casually pick up a gun, turn it over a few times in my hands and then set it down again. I’ve always preferred hand-to-hand combat instead of weapons fighting.
“I’ll never shy away from a fight,” Kjallak says, showing off his muscles, giving me his telltale goofy grin.
I can’t help but roll my eyes and smile. “I’m not doubting your bravery. Just our odds.”
“I know,” he says, all seriousness again. “And you’re still adverse to just throwing her over your shoulder and carrying her out of here? I’m just saying…it’s an option now that the storm has stopped.”
“It’s their only way back to their home planet. If we leave it now the Salthu will surely take it. They’ll take it apart piece by piece and sell everything they find on the black market. They’d be stranded here. I can’t be the one who makes that kind of decision about her future and the fate of their planet.”
“You’ve always been a bit of a softie, Lodyn.”
“Not a softie. But I want to make the moral decision.” Actually, if Margo were forced to remain here, I don’t know if that would make things easier or harder for me. I would want to be near her all the time but it would only be so long before I wouldn’t be able to fight my desires any longer. Even though I hate the idea of it, it seems like the best thing that she’ll need to go back to her planet.
“Don’t look so grim, you don’t need to explain yourself to me. I stand by you regardless, my brother.”
He tucks a few of his favorite guns into the waistband on his pants. Crossing my arms, I nod in acknowledgment. “I know, thank you, Kjallak. Now I think I’ll go help Branyx dig those ditches.”
“Are you sure about that? It might be best to leave him be. You know how he gets.”
“It’ll help clear my mind.”
“Whatever works. I’m going to get a few hours of sleep. Wake me when you come back and I’ll take over watch.”
He slaps my shoulder on the way out of the weapons room. I walk out behind him but go the opposite direction down the corridor toward the hatch.
It’s the time of night where it’s still dark but before long the skies will begin to lighten. The stars are bright and clear, like they are most nights unless there’s a storm. Guarding the walls of the city every day and every night has its advantages. My life and what I do with it belongs to the government. But at night, I can look up at the stars and have a sense of freedom.
Margo’s on my mind tonight as I look over and see the outline of Branyx. His head and shoulders are visible as he digs scoops of snow in one of the pits. Not able to see clearly around me, I step carefully and slowly while moving away from the ship. For the first time since I’ve joined the guard, I start to think “what if.” What if I did have another choice with my life? What if it were an option to take Margo as my mate? Is that even something I could do? Leave my brothers to be with Margo?
Once I choose my place, I use my hands to start digging. I won’t need a shovel or pick ax until I get to the packed snow and ice toward the bottom. There’s no use having it out here now and losing it in a snow bank.
I don’t even notice the cold of the snow and it doesn’t take long for sweat to begin to form on my skin. My body was enhanced to have physical stamina and strength. We can fight for hours, dig for hours, run for hours and our bodies maintain incredible stamina. It seems like a cruel joke that I was given enhanced physical stamina after I took the oath of celibacy. But I guess the same could be said for the timing of when I met Margo.
I hear crunching in the snow and Branyx appears over the mound of snow that I’ve already piled. “There are three pits to the left of you. They should serve as a decent barrier as well as additional options for coverage.”
“They will indeed. It would be beneficial if we were able to secure higher ground besides the ship.” Kjallak is an excellent bowman but the top of the ship isn’t ideal. He’s sitting exposed and vulnerable, forced to go on the offensive as soon as the enemy spots his location.
I stop digging and follow Branyx’s gaze as he looks behind us at the mountains. “Those are the closest that I can see and the distance is pushing it for arrow range.”
“There are weapons on the ship. Kjallak has already gone through them and found what he likes. It might work to our advantage.”
“Do we know what all of the weapons are capable of?”
“No, but Margo can show us. And it’s possible that Kjallak has already figured them out.”
“And of course there are the exterior guns. If the enemy comes, there’s no reason we can’t use them anymore.”
I can sense his anger even though I can’t see his face. The fact that he can’t get on board with our current mission and put his disagreements aside is purely pissing me off at this point. I don’t want to keep rehashing the same issues once we’ve put them to rest.
“She was trying to help, Branyx. And if you can’t get behind this mission that was given to us, by the prime minister himself, then you might as well make your way back to the wall. These women are here as guests and it is our job to protect them.”
“Protect them, yes. But this one makes it hard to protect when she won’t listen to anything she is told.” It makes me angry to hear him talk about my mate in this way. Putting my hand on the side of the pit, I launch myself up, landing in front of Branyx.
“She does not need to listen to you. You are not in charge.” He is wise to lower his eyes. He takes a deep breath and this time when he speaks his voice is calmer, quieter.
“You are too easy on her.”
“Because I won’t physically force her to do my bidding? I will decide how to handle the women.”
“You have a very different approach than Mallyk and he is our leader.”
“Be careful, Branyx,” I say, my voice filled with malice. “Mallyk left me in charge while he is gone. It would do you good to remember that.”
Eventually he nods, some of the fight leaving him. “I’ll finish what I started,” he says, turning and walking back to the pit.
I watch him walk away until he drops down into the pit and out of sight. His stubborn apprehension is rolling around in my head and I wonder if I’d feel the same way if Margo weren’t my mate. If I were in his shoes, would I have forced her hand in order to do what was best for all of us? It’s pointless to continue being conflicted considering all I want to do right now is finish helping dig these pits and go back inside to Margo.
And that’s exactly what I do.
Blocking out all other thoughts, I dig a total of three pits. Feeling satisfied that we’ve established some defense around the ship, I head back inside. The sun will rise shortly but I need a few hours of sleep and I long for the calm that I feel when I’m close to my mate.
The ship is
quiet when I board it again. Kjallak hears me and pulls himself off the floor, stretching before making his way over to the hatch for watch.
The sleeping quarters are dark when I step inside but I sense Margo instantly. She’s sleeping but starts to shift in bed as I stand over her. I crawl in next to her, tucking my arm around her waist and pulling her close. The soft moan that escapes her lips as she settles against me has the blood rushing to my cock.
I should be exhausted after everything that has happened today but my mind has never been more conflicted. I don’t know how to turn it off.
“Everything okay?” Margo whispers, linking her fingers through mine.
“Everything’s okay.” I squeeze her hand and kiss her on the soft skin right under her ear. “Now we wait to see what tomorrow brings.”
Eleven
MARGO
I’m a pilot, not an engineer. I know my way around a cockpit but I only had basic training on this space ship before we were basically thrust into space. Natalie is the ship’s engineer but she was injured when we crashed so she was taken to the city with the rest of my team. Now I’m sitting on the floor with the actual user’s manual in my lap, trying to figure out why the hell this beast won’t start.
On top of my frustration with not being able to figure out how to fix the ship, I can’t stop thinking about how damn guilty I felt when I woke up this morning.
I should be happy.
I’ve never met a guy who makes me want to shed all of my inhibitions and jump into bed like Lodyn does. But I shouldn’t have let things get so intimate last night. My stay on this planet is temporary and being with me means a death sentence for Lodyn.
The guilt washes over me. I shouldn’t be playing this game. A lasting relationship isn’t a possibility with us and I have an important job to do.
So of course I made things awkward. I woke up and ran out of there, claiming I had a lot of work to do today. Really I just needed to get away from him before I jumped his bones again. Oh man, he looks at me with the bluest of eyes, the window to his soul. I see myself there and it’s too much for me to walk away from.
So I didn’t walk, I ran.
And now instead of focusing on my job, I’m daydreaming about how his eyes devour every inch of me. There’s a constant heat that radiates off of him when he’s around me. And then there’s his cock. I’m daydreaming about how hard he felt pressed up against my back when I woke up.
“Focus, for fuck’s sake, Margo,” I say to myself. I’m sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the second panel full of wires, switches, and black boxes that look really important. The first section of the panel only required replacing a few wires and reconnecting some of the fuses that shorted out. I crossed my fingers that the same would work on this side, but no such luck.
Hence the user’s manual.
And I know how important it is that I figure this out quickly and get us the hell out of here. If I could live the rest of my life never seeing a Salthu again, I’d die a happy woman. They were monsters straight out of my worst nightmare. Now the warriors are keeping watch while I try to figure this out on my own.
My mind is full, worrying about so many things that I don’t hear anyone come on the bridge. My blood warms as it moves through my body, my pulse quickens. My initial thought is that my anxiety is about to give me a panic attack. Until I hear a voice behind me.
“Making progress?” Lodyn asks.
I jump a foot, my hands covering my chest. “Shit, Lodyn! You scared me.” I turn around and attempt to glare at him. “You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that.”
“I didn’t sneak. You are preoccupied,” he says.
Taking a deep breath, I try to focus on the manual in my lap but everything just looks like gibberish. His eyes are watching me and it makes me squirm. The smoldering heat coming from that look tells me everything I need to know about what he has on his mind.
“What’s up, Lodyn?” I ask, looking away again so I can think straight.
“What’s up?” he asks. When I turn around he has a confused look on his face and he’s literally looking up at the ceiling. I forget that slang isn’t something that easily translates from language to language.
“It means, what do you need? Or, what can I help you with?” I say, attempting to clarify. It’s killing me how cute he looks with such a confused expression on his face.
“Oh.” His face lights up with understanding as he shifts in his seat. “I wanted to see you.” He says it with such simplicity it makes me wonder if I’m overthinking everything. “You are avoiding me today.” His voice is a quiet rumble that makes my insides tingle with delight. I’m not sure what to say to his astute observation, though.
After a moment of thought I hold up the user’s manual sitting in my lap. “Trying to figure out how to get us out of here.” That’s all of the honesty that I can muster right now. I’d like to confess that he’s confusing me because of how he makes me feel.
“You’ll figure it out. And if not right now, there are engineers in the city that can help you get the ship up and running again.”
“I don’t want you to have to fight again.” His eyes bore into mine and my heart starts beating so fast. I quickly amend what I was saying. “I mean, I don’t want any of you to have to fight again. It was never part of the plan, you know?” It’s a good thing he’s still sitting a distance away from me or I’d have an even harder time stopping myself from reaching out to him.
“It is our job to fight. You don’t have to feel guilty because we are doing what we are suppose to do for you.”
“Defending our crashed ship wasn’t part of the plan.” I can’t seem to let that guilt go.
“Defending you always was. There are a lot of things that could kill you on this planet and it is our job to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
He studies me so closely it’s hard to hide anything from him. He knows exactly how I’m feeling even when I’m trying my best to hide it from him.
“That’s just it, isn’t it? Fighting is your job. This is my job,” I say, holding up the stupid manual again. “And nowhere in our job descriptions is this…” I motion back and forth between us with my finger so he can get my point, “supposed to happen.”
“You are upset with me?”
“No, I’m not upset with you. Just the situation. And I need to figure out how to fix the ship but I can’t concentrate when you’re around.”
“You’d like me to leave?” He leans forward on his knees, an electric current passing through the air between us as he devours me with his eyes.
“See? That look…how do you expect me to concentrate when you look at me like that?”
A mischievous smile plays at his lips but he hides it behind his hand. “I can’t help it. You make me feel so many things. But I will go if you need to concentrate.”
My confession makes him proud, I can see it on his face. But he’s going to have to leave if I want to make any more progress today.
“Yes, Lodyn. You should go. We need to keep things professional. We’re playing with fire, you and I, aren’t we?”
“I actually have a very high tolerance for heat. It’s the way our bodies are made to easily adapt to this environment.”
“Well good for you. But, that’s not what I meant. It will cause trouble for us if we don’t keep things professional. You’ll especially get in a lot of trouble and I wouldn’t be able to handle feeling any more guilt about things that happen on this trip.”
“Okay. I will go keep watch with the others so you can work. I don’t know that I’ll be able to agree to keep things professional, though. I like how I feel with you too much. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.”
A shy smile spreads over my face and his confession makes me feel tingly and warm inside. I can relate to what he’s feeling all too well. Being with him is like nothing I’ve ever felt before either.
He smiles and leaves the room. Like always when he leaves, th
e loss of him is all around me. I know exactly what he means when he says he likes the way he feels when he’s with me. It’s a surreal feeling of euphoria when we’re together.
Forcing myself to focus on the job at hand, I turn back to the panels. Even though it’s the last thing I want to do, I make myself think back to just before we came out of hyperdrive. We came out early and at first I thought something hit us hard. Shortly after feeling that jolt we started to lose the vertical and horizontal stabilizers. Then all of our systems started to shut down and our back up power switched on.
I was focused, my mind closed off to anything else besides landing. But now, figuring out what that initial hit was might help me figure out how it affected the ship in the first place.
Damn it, this is where it would really help to have Mina with me. She’s the team’s scientist and the one person that I go to with any questions I have about anything. She would be able to give me a very scientific explanation on Attala’s atmosphere and anything that we might have encountered that would have negatively impacted a successful landing.
I already know that we came out of hyperdrive into the eye of a fucking storm. The odds of the weather changing as severely as it did are so slim. With the technical equipment that we have we should have been able to see that big of a storm coming.
But we didn’t.
Perhaps it’s an anomaly or maybe it’s something else. Something with the atmosphere that we were unable to predict.
Jumping up from my spot on the floor, I dash out to find Lodyn again. Stopping suddenly just outside the entrance to the bridge, I almost run head first into Lodyn.
“Is everything okay?” he asks, his arms reaching out to steady me.
I grab onto his forearms, immediately distracted again from the way my heart lurches in my chest whenever our skin touches. “Yes, I didn’t expect you to be so close by.”