"But maybe I don't have to go out in the storm,” I said. “Maybe I can get the horse to come to me."
CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR
I sat at the edge of the barn in the rain. It was blowing sideways and I was already soaked but I didn't care. I stared out into the darkness, straining my eyes against the flashes of lightning to see the white horse. I had a bucket of grain in my lap and every now and then I shook it, hoping the horse might hear it and come but the sound of the storm was too loud to hope that he would really hear anything as small and insignificant as grain in a bucket. Fern and Mickey sat behind me, further out of the rain.
"I'm sure you'll be able to catch him when the storm is over," Mickey said.
"But it's dangerous out there. What if something happens to him?"
"What if something happens to you?" Fern said.
"Yeah, don't take this the wrong way," Mickey said. "But you do seem to have a whole death wish thing going on."
I swiveled around so that I was facing them. The flashlight lay in Mickey's lap, pointing up to the ceiling where the cobwebs were currently soaking up the leaks.
"What is that supposed to mean?" I said.
"Riding out to sea?" Mickey said. "I know you haven't forgotten about that already."
"That was to save my stepsister," I said. "What was I supposed to do? Let her drown?"
"No." Mickey shook her head. "But think about it, Em. You have been doing a lot of reckless things lately."
"I'm not the one who ended up in the hospital," I snapped. "Remember?"
"Fine." Mickey put her hands up. "I get it. I'm just saying, maybe you shouldn't be thinking about running out into the middle of a hurricane. I mean, I could understand if Bluebird was out there but this is a horse that you don't even know. That has probably been living out there in the wilderness for ages. What makes you think he even wants to be caught?"
"I don't know," I whispered, turning back to face the dark. "It's just a feeling."
But even though I had a feeling that the horse was in trouble and needed me, it didn't appear that he was going to make it easy because I didn't see him again. The storm raged on. Rain pelting and wind howling. It was well past midnight and everyone was exhausted. Most people in the evacuation room had given up and gone to sleep since their TV's had stopped working when the power went out. But I couldn't sleep. It felt as though a thousand vaults of electricity were charging through my veins. As though the white horse himself was galloping beneath me.
"I'm tired," Mickey finally groaned. "He's not going to come. Can we please stop looking out for him?"
"You can do whatever you want," I said.
Fern tried to persuade me to go in with them, at least to get dry and warm again but she couldn't talk me into it. I was convinced that if I turned my back for one second, the horse would show himself and I'd miss my chance to grab him. Never mind the fact that I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do if I ever managed to catch him.
CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE
I sat there on the edge of the hurricane with my heart in my throat. Why was I the only one who cared? There were horse people all over and no one except me seemed bothered about the horse that was stuck out in the storm. I suspected it had something to do with the fact that no one actually believed he existed. He was a ghost. A spirit. Something that people talked about on cold and stormy nights. No one ever actually expected him to be real. Even I didn't expect him to be real. Maybe I was going crazy. Did I really have a death wish? I didn't think I did. But before I had time to think about it any further, I saw a flash of white.
He came proudly prancing into view. I shook the bucket, still hopeful that he would just come to me and I could slip a halter on him, the hero of the night. Only that would have been too easy. The horse eyed the bucket warily and skittered sideways at the sound of the grain. Then he spun around and took off.
"Wait," I called out.
I looked around the barn. No one was there. No one to stop me. I grabbed a halter and took off into the hurricane after him.
CHAPTER THIRTY SIX
The rain hit me like a thousand needles stabbing all over my body. The wind tried to blow me off my feet. I staggered sideways, realizing it was almost impossible to walk out in the hurricane, let alone run. I couldn’t see the horse anymore but I followed the hoof prints until they became a muddy mess, all churned into the ground with no indication of which way the horse had gone. I swung my flashlight back and forth but there was no horse in the beam. Only twigs and branches that had come crashing off the trees and been swept away.
The wind roared around me like a wild animal and for the first time I felt afraid. I wandered around trying to see where the hoof prints went but there was so many of them and they went in a million different directions. After a few dead ends I decided that it was stupid to try and figure out where he had gone. I shook the bucket one last time but it was now so full of water that the grain just sloshed around without making any noise at all. Tears stung in the back of my eyes. Everyone was right. Everyone was always right. I should have left the horse. I could have tried to catch him when the storm was over. Alerted the people at the track that the white horse was not dead. That he was very much alive and had been ever since that fateful race day.
I turned to go back to the barn but I couldn't see it anymore. My flashlight only went so far and all I could see in its beam was mud and rain. My heart started to beat faster. I ran after the hoof prints but they didn't lead me back to the barn. I strained against the rain and dark to see something. The flicker of a flashlight. Some sign of life. But the barn was dark and even though it was out there somewhere, I couldn't see it. I was lost.
CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN
I stood there in the dark feeling like an idiot. I waited for the lightning to strike so that it would light up the world for one brief moment and I could find my way back but no lightning came. Why wouldn't the lightning come when I wanted it to? I was wet to the bone, drenched and cold. When Mom found out what I had done, she was going to kill me. I had to get back to the barn before anyone figured out that I'd run out into the hurricane after a horse who didn't even want to be caught.
Even though I couldn't see him, I could still hear him. The pounding of his hooves as he galloped in the distance. The snort of his breath, hot against the cold wind. Then suddenly there he was, high stepping towards me.
I held my breath and stood stock still. If he would come to me, maybe I could catch him. Then I wouldn't be the idiot who ran out into the storm for nothing. I would be the hero who rescued the magical horse that no one believed in.
He stood there looking at me, then cocked his head to the side like he was thinking. With a snort he took off at a prancing trot and circled around me. I watched him, wondering what he was trying to tell me.
"It's okay boy," I said softly. "I'm here to help you. Don't you want to come into the barn where it is warm and dry?"
He shook his mane and water sprayed everywhere. Then lightning hit over in the trees and he galloped off.
"Wait," I called out.
I ran after him blindly. The rain was easing up. The wind not as strong. I wondered if this was the eye. If the storm died down enough then I'd have a better chance of catching the horse and getting him back to the barn before it started up again. But he'd taken off at a frantic gallop, across the track and into the infield. I could see where I was now that my eyes had adjusted to the black. Behind me the big barns were dark lumps. I could head back that way. I didn't have to stay out there. But I wanted to catch the horse. I wanted to do something that other people didn't think they could do.
I hadn't made the jumping team. I'd avoided thinking about it. Tried to explain away all the reasons why Miguel didn't want me but there was only one that remained in my head. I wasn't good enough. I wasn't someone he thought could win and without that what was I? If Miguel didn't want me then how was I ever going to get to the Olympics? It meant that there were other girls out there who
were better than I was. Who had a greater chance of fulfilling my dream than I did.
And suddenly the horse was galloping towards me, splashing past and splattering mud up my legs before taking off again.
"Stop playing," I yelled at him. "This isn't a game."
But he took off away from me with his tail flagged high. I stood there for a moment, wondering if I should just leave him. Mickey was right. He didn't want to be caught. He was wild and free. He'd adjusted to life away from people. Who was I to think that I could catch him and tame him?
Defeated, I turned my back on him but then I heard a sickening thud and the scream of a horse that was in trouble.
CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT
The horse was by the edge of the lake, a white mound on the ground all thrashing hooves and wild eyes. A nearby tree had fallen and with it had come some twisted old wire. It had snagged the horse and bright red blood streamed down his legs as he thrashed around.
I dashed forward, heart pounding.
"This is why I wanted you to come inside," I told him.
I lay my hand on his neck, tried to stroke and calm him but he was too worked up to care about things like soothing voices and gentle hands. But the more he struggled, the deeper the wire cut into his flesh.
"Please," I begged him. "Stop moving."
I didn't have anything to cut the wire. I pulled at it, trying to loosen and unwind it from his limbs but it just bit into my hands when he thrashed and cut my own skin.
"I don't know how to help you," I sobbed.
The horse was really bleeding now. The wire was going to cut right through his ligaments and tendons if I didn't do something. I took off my jacket and sweater, tucking them as gently as I could beneath the biting wire. My cell phone was wet, the screen half blank but there wasn't any service anyway. It had gone out when the storm started to get bad. I was going to have to go for help.
"Please be good," I begged the horse. "Please. I'll be right back, I promise."
I stroked his wet neck and he looked up at me. His eye was kind and soft but I could tell he was scared. I didn't want to leave him alone in the dark but staying with him wouldn't help either. He'd probably bleed to death if I didn't do something and I'd gone out in that storm to rescue him. I wasn't going to let him down now.
I ran towards the nearest barn, shivering in the cold night. Everything was dripping and wet, the wind was a gentle breeze. We were definitely in the eye but I didn't know how long we would have. How long before the wind and rain started up again? I stumbled and fell in the mud, the dirt covering my cuts. My hands stung but I didn't care. I wasn't in danger of having my limbs cut off like the white horse was.
I finally reached the barn and stumbled inside.
"Help," I called out into the dark aisle but my voice was small and weak, barely a whisper above the gentle sounds of the barn.
I fell to my knees, shivering and cold. I wanted to lie down. Curl up in one of the stalls and go to sleep but I couldn't. I had to find the strength to do this.
"Help," I screamed. "Somebody please help."
CHAPTER THIRTY NINE
They ran towards me, the footsteps of men instead of the hoof beats of the horse.
"What happened?" one of them said. "What happened to your hands?"
“There is a horse," I looked up at the blank faces of men I didn't know. "Out there. We have to help him."
"Don't be stupid," the tallest man said. "It's madness to go out there. You could get killed."
"I don't care," I said. "I need wire cutters. Something to cut wire. Come on, please."
He grabbed my arm and tried to pull me further into the barn with the others and even though I knew he thought he was trying to help, I didn't know why he wasn't listening to me. I yanked my arm away.
"Please," I cried. "There is a horse out there tangled in wire. If we don't help him, he'll bleed to death."
The three men stood there and shrugged.
"I've got a family," the tall one said. "I'm not much good to them if I get killed trying to help a horse that doesn’t even belong to me."
They started to back away, now looking at me like I might have something contagious.
"What is wrong with you people?" I screamed.
And suddenly Will was there by my side.
"What's happened? What can I do?"
He took in my hands, my pale face and the fact that I was half soaked to death and instead of questioning my sanity, he wanted to help. I could have hugged him, if I wasn't so afraid.
"That story about the ghost horse," I blurted out. "Well it's not a ghost horse, it's a real horse and now he's all tangled up in wire. He's thrashing and I couldn't get him to stop and we need to cut the wire before he kills himself."
I was sobbing now, I couldn't help it. The image of the horse tangled up in the wire was burned into my retina. Every minute we wasted was another minute that he was thrashing to death.
"Stay here," Will said. "I'll be right back."
He ran off and I stood there, wondering if he would even come back at all. The wind was picking up again, whistling down the aisle. It wouldn't be long before the eye passed over us and the torrential rain started up again. We needed to get the horse inside before that happened, if we could get him to walk at all. If we couldn't, then I knew that he really was a lost cause.
Will came back with two tall, lanky guys.
"Hank and Simon said they’ll help," he said.
“Thanks,” I said, looking at them and wondering what Will had to do to bribe them to come and help the crazy girl. "Okay, come on.”
"Wait," Will grabbed my hand. "You should stay here. You're half frozen to death and look at your hands. You're no good to the horse like this."
"I'm coming and there is nothing you can do to stop me."
I stood there defiantly.
"Alright," he said softly. "But can you at least take this coat?"
He held out a jacket and I took it.
"Thanks," I said and this time I meant it.
CHAPTER FORTY
We ran out through the mud and the puddles. The rain was starting up again. It wouldn't be long before it was really coming down.
"We have to hurry," I said but no one answered. They were too busy looking at the white mound lying in the dirt. It was still.
I stopped running. I couldn't bear to think that maybe we were too late. Was he dead? Had he bled to death while I was trying to get people to help?
"Is he ...?" I said faintly.
But at the sound of my voice the horse lifted his head and nickered gently. I rushed forward, collapsing onto the ground next to him.
"Good boy," I told him. "You waited for me didn't you? I told you I'd get help."
I stroked his neck but he was shaking. It wasn't a good sign.
"He's cold," I said as Hank threw a blanket over him.
"He's in shock," Will said. "We have to cut him loose before it's too late. Steady his head. Make sure he stays down until all the wire has been cut.”
"Okay." I nodded.
I cradled his head in my lap. His big brown eye looked up at me as I rubbed his forehead.
"Everything is going to be okay. I don't want you to worry. Soon you'll be in a nice warm stall with lots of shavings and hay. I'll make you a hot bran mash and we'll take care of your legs. I'm sure Bluebird won't mind if I give you some of his carrots. He's my pony. Just wait until you meet him. You're going to love him."
I talked on and on about nothing and everything while the boys took a closer look at the wires.
"It's not good," I heard Will say but I blocked his voice out. I only wanted to talk to the horse, my words a string of hope that kept him alive.
They moved quietly and calmly and every now and then I heard a sharp crack as the cutters sliced through the wire. Hank and Simon were moving tree branches, dragging them out of the way. Every now and then the horse would kick out but he was trying to be good and I could tell it was only a reflex against
the pain. My jacket and sweater were abandoned in the mud, soaked with blood. I didn't like to think what his legs were like now and part of me feared that even if we freed him, there was a chance that we still wouldn't be able to save him.
Finally Will stood back. "He's free."
"So what do we do now?" I asked.
The horse lay there. He gave a sigh and his head slipped from my lap into a puddle.
"Oh no you don't," I yelled at him. "You're not giving up. I haven't given up on you and you're not going to give up now."
But the horse didn’t move.
CHAPTER FORTY ONE
I'd expected the horse to jump right up but when he didn't, I was scared. He just lay there with his eyes closed. I looked at Will, who shrugged.
"Come on," I cried. "We have to get him up."
I slipped the halter gently onto his head but he barely moved. I tugged on the rope, then pulled even harder when the first tug did nothing.
"Get up," I screamed. "You have to get up. Don't you want to live?"
I pulled and yelled and screamed at the horse but it had no effect. Simon and Hank just stood there shaking their heads. Will came and took the rope from me.
"It's too late," he said.
"It's never too late," I sobbed.
Tears were streaming down my face, all mixed up with the rain and mud. I couldn't let the horse die because if he died it would have meant that I failed him, just like I failed Miguel and like I failed my dead sister. There was something about that day. An echo of something I was supposed to do and hadn't. I had buried the memory deep in the recesses of my brain but here in the storm with everything stripped away, parts of it came back to me. Fragments of a memory that made me think that somehow I had played a part in my sister’s death.
White Horses (Show Jumping Dreams ~ Book 10) Page 10