Truthfully, nothing could be further from the truth. Even though I hadn’t been alone with Professor Alexander in weeks, I was still obsessing over him. I dreamed about him—but not the dream that I usually had. These dreams were the more regular kind, where I’d also open a room and end up inside a giant cupcake or where I’d look down and realize I was wearing a bathrobe in rehearsal.
And then Professor Alexander would stride across the stage, open my robe, baring my skin, and slide his hands over my—
Anyway, I was thinking about him a lot.
He showed up at rehearsal once or twice, but he hid in the shadows of the back of the theater, and he didn’t say anything. A couple of times I looked up at him and found him looking back at me. There was something that seemed to pass between us in those moments, a current of desire. I didn’t get it.
I’d never felt like this about anyone. And I couldn’t deny that dreaming about the man must mean something. But I wasn’t sure what it meant. And I was a little bothered. He’d said he wasn’t a nice person. My aunts had told me that the man in my dreams was a danger to me. He wanted to steal my light.
Of course, I’d always thought that light stealing business was a euphemism for my virginity. My aunts didn’t know I’d had sex.
Maybe it was. Maybe that was the danger they saw. After all, in the dream, I was having sex with him. Maybe I was supposed to have sex with him. Maybe if he and I just gave into our crazy desire for each other, it would make things easier.
I hoped that was the case. Once or twice, I almost went to his house in the middle of the night. I thought about barging in on him, ripping off all my clothes, and begging him to take me.
I didn’t do it, though. Something about the possible danger made me just a little wary. But my lust was building every day. And it wouldn’t be long until it drowned the worry out entirely.
“Teagan Moss?”
I looked up. There was a woman standing outside the history building. She was tall and severe, with a solid figure. She wore a burgundy suit and black pumps.
“That’s me,” I said.
She offered her hand. “I’m Adelaide Surber, dean of students.”
I shook her hand. “Hi there.” Why was she here to see me? I held my books tight against my chest, almost in protection. But why I was trying to protect myself, I wasn’t sure.
She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “You are our Cross Scholarship student, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” But she must know that. She wouldn’t have come to find me to ask me that.
“And how are you enjoying Thornfield?”
“I love it.” Was this a survey? Was she asking everyone this question?
“You do? Marvelous.” She clasped her hands together. “Listen, I’d like to extend an invitation to you for dinner this weekend.”
“Dinner?” Like me and her?
“It’s a gathering of the administrators for the college, plus a select few faculty members and students,” she said. “We’ve chosen you because you’ve won a scholarship. The press will be there, so be sure to wear something nice and be prepared to be in a few candid pictures, possibly get asked a few questions.”
This was beginning to sound less like an invitation and more like an order.
She pressed her lips together. “It is an honor to be chosen.”
“Oh,” I said. “Well, I’m flattered.”
“Yes.” She smiled again, and her smile was still cold. “Then we’ll see you on Friday. Seven o’clock. In town at the Chillingworth Restaurant. Don’t be late.”
* * *
Carter
“I don’t think this is a good idea at all,” Teagan was saying, hands on her hips in the middle of the stage. “It’s crass. Ella would never do it.”
I’d come to visit the rehearsal, and when it was over, I would give a few notes to Harper. However, I thought it was best not to spend too much time actively engaging with Miss Moss. She was too tempting to me, and I needed to keep my distance. I was developing feelings for her. I couldn’t let that happen. I needed to stay aloof. How else would I fulfill the ritual?
“You think that Ella never gives Joe a blow job?” said Harper, leaning forward, a smile playing on his lips.
“Maybe she doesn’t,” said Teagan.
“Um, it is kind of awkward,” said Nick Pond, the kid who was playing Joe, Ella’s husband. “Plus, I don’t think the blocking’s going to work.”
“We haven’t even tried the blocking,” said Harper. “It’ll work. Your back will be to the audience—”
“They’ll be able to see on the sides,” said Nick. “The theater’s too small. They’ll know it’s fake.”
“Well, I would hope so,” said Harper. “I’d expect they wouldn’t think we’d be doing actual sex acts on stage. Anyway, it’ll work. Sue and I were already working it out.”
Sue was the stage manager.
“Back me up here, Sue,” said Teagan. “As the only other female in here. It’s totally exploitative.”
“I don’t think so,” said Sue. “I mean, you look at the scene, Ella really turns Joe around here. He starts out really upset, and by the end, she’s soothed him.”
“Exactly,” said Harper. “This makes it a much better scene because it’s an active choice.”
Sue nodded. “And I think it’s kind of a strong woman thing. Like, she’s able to manipulate him using his penis. Which is what feminism is all about.”
I choked in the background. Wow. Sue had clearly never taken any women’s studies courses.
“That’s not what feminism’s about,” said Teagan. “It’s about equality.”
“Am I going to like... whip it out?” said Nick.
“No,” said Harper, looking appalled.
“Well, I was only asking. I heard there was nudity in the senior seminar plays last year,” said Nick.
“Yeah, female nudity,” said Harper.
Teagan seethed. “See. That’s why this is completely unequal.”
“You want him to take out his dick?” said Harper.
“No!” Teagan’s eyes were wide. “I don’t want to pretend to give someone a blow job on stage. I just don’t.”
“But it makes the scene better,” said Harper.
“I’m not doing it,” she said. “End of story.” She stalked out of the theater.
Everyone was quiet.
“Whoa,” said Nick. “She was serious.”
“Congratulations, Mr. Cannon,” I said. “You’ve made an actress walk out for the first time.”
“Professor,” he said. “I didn’t know you were here.”
“I’ve been lurking,” I said. I walked further into the theater, onto the stage, under the lights. I sometimes forgot what it looked like from the actor’s perspective. Everything was a little different here.
“So,” he said. “What do you think? Am I being crass and exploitative?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I see your point about the scene. I think it is a strong choice.”
“But Teagan’s not going to do it,” he said.
“Doesn’t appear that way,” I said.
He sighed. “Should I try to convince her, or is that really smarmy?”
I considered.
“Never mind,” he said. “Look, let’s just end things early tonight, okay? I’ll rework the scene, and we’ll pick it up tomorrow.”
They all got their things together and left, but I stayed, telling Sue I’d be sure to shut everything down and lock up on my way out. Sometimes, it was nice to be alone in the theater.
I walked the stage for a bit, once everyone was gone, and I was alone. I stared out at the empty chairs. And I wondered how hard it was going to be to bring myself to destroy Teagan. I liked her so much. I’d especially liked watching her throw that fit for Harper, standing her ground.
She was probably making too big of a fuss about it. She’d never make it in the professional theater world refusing to fake blow jobs on stage
. But she was young, and she wasn’t worldly enough to know that. Usually, I would have looked on that in contempt, but in Miss Moss, it was endearing. I thought of the way her eyes had flashed as she’d refused to do what Harper wanted her to. She was passionate and beautiful.
I kind of liked the fact that she was standing up to Harper at all.
And these were exactly the kinds of thoughts I shouldn’t be having about her. It was one thing when it was all about wanting her body. I’d thought that was tough, and I could hardly handle it. But now it was worse. I still wanted her body. I dreamed about having her luscious tits in my mouth again. I remembered how white and soft her skin was. I wanted to sink into her, bury myself into her. I wanted her so badly.
But it was more than that now. Now I was beginning to like her. Not just the way she looked, but her. And that was unacceptable. I could not let this happen to me.
I settled down on one of the seats in the theater, shaking my head. I wouldn’t come back for the next rehearsal. If I could manage it, I’d only come to see Harper’s rehearsals once a week. I had to make it through to the ritual without falling for her any harder than I had.
“Professor Alexander, it’s me.”
I stood up.
“You should probably go. We’re alone, and we promised not to be alone anymore.”
Teagan had come back into the theater. I took in the swell of her hips and the dip of her waist. I took in her long, shapely legs. On second thought, maybe I should just screw her and be done with it. Maybe I was only thinking about her so much because there was thick tension between us. Maybe if we got it over with, everything would be easier. “Miss Moss. I thought you’d left.”
“I stormed out without my stuff,” she said. “Actually, I feel sort of stupid now.”
“I thought it was admirable the way you stuck to the high moral ground,” I said. If I tried to seduce her, she’d let me. I knew it. She couldn’t resist me anymore than I could resist her. I took a few steps towards her.
Her shoulders slumped. “Oh, that’s the thing. It wasn’t high moral ground.”
I raised an eyebrow. “It wasn’t?”
“I’m just embarrassed. I thought if I tried to fake it on stage, I’d look like an idiot.”
“You couldn’t look like an idiot if you tried.”
She sighed. “It’s just that I don’t know how to give a blow job. I’ve never...”
I took a step closer. “Oh, you haven’t?”
“It’s just that most of my... experience has been sort of the one-night variety, and I never really got there. And I feel too old not to know. I didn’t know what to do, so I got mad. But now, I feel even more stupid.”
“Never given a blow job,” I murmured.
She looked up at me. She must have heard something in my tone. “Oh, but... I didn’t mean...”
“You know,” I said, “I don’t think you should feel stupid at all.”
“Professor, I thought we said we would stay away from each other.”
“Well, but this is for your art, Miss Moss.” I gave her a wicked smile. “You need to do some research for your character. As your professor, I think it’s my job to assist you.” I closed the distance between us.
* * *
Teagan
Damn it. Why did he have to make me so off kilter? The last time I’d seen him, he’d told me he was a bad person. Now, here he was, talking to me in that silky voice of his, and I was already getting turned on. There was something wrong about this. I shouldn’t react this way to him. I felt out of control when he was near me, and I didn’t think it was the normal kind of romantic out of control. Maybe there was something else going on. And maybe that was precisely why he was dangerous.
His touch was feather soft as he caressed my face. His lips fluttered over my forehead. “Get down on your knees, Miss Moss.”
I felt like my whole body clenched with excitement. That was hot.
But... Gross. And he couldn’t order me around like that. And I wasn’t going to do what he said. I would tell him I didn’t want...
But I was already kneeling in front of him. Like I’d had a choice. He turned me into a raging ball of hormones.
“Unzip me,” he said.
No. This was humiliating. I didn’t do what he asked just because he asked me. I wasn’t here for his pleasure. “Professor, I’m not sure that I can...”
He closed his eyes. “Call me professor again.”
“I always call you that.”
He peered down at me. “Not on your knees you don’t.” His voice sounded raw.
“Professor,” I said. He was reacting to me, and I hadn’t done anything. I was beginning to feel powerful, not denigrated. I let my voice go a little breathy and coy. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
His lips curled into a smile. “I’ll teach you. My job, right?”
My pulse leaped in excitement and fear. I nodded. “Yes.”
He slid his palm against my cheek, rubbed his thumb over my cheekbone. “You want me to teach you, don’t you, Miss Moss?”
I wasn’t... Yes. Okay, yes, I did. “Yes, Professor.”
He sucked in air noisily. “Oh, Miss Moss, you are going to ruin me.”
My turn to smile.
“Unzip me.”
And I did. I could see that his boxers were dark green underneath his pants. I looked up at him, batting my eyelashes. “Do you want me to take it out?” So, maybe I was putting it on a little thick there, my overly innocent act. It suddenly seemed fun to play into it.
His jaw tightened. “Please.”
I could do that. I reached inside his open zipper. I had enough practice with guys in the backseats of cars—
But I didn’t want to think about my previous sexual partners right now. This experience was new. It was fresh, and I wanted to keep it that way.
I tugged his shaft free of his clothes. He was hard, huge, engorged. I let go of it when I looked at it. I was going to put that in my mouth?
He groaned above me.
I swallowed.
His hand was still on my face. His thumb carefully stroked my skin. “You all right?”
“I’m...” I wasn’t playing games now. “I think it’s too big.”
He chuckled softly.
I stopped focusing on his crotch and looked up into his eyes.
“You know how to flatter a man.”
I cringed. “My mouth is just not that big. I don’t...” I thought about trying to shove it into me and gagging on it. I shuddered. That sounded horrible.
“You’re serious.” His tone had changed. He sounded warmer, more concerned. “Give me your hand.”
I did.
He wrapped my fingers around the base of himself. My hand covered half of him.
He grunted.
I felt the sensation of being powerful again, watching him react to my hand on him. I felt more comfortable. Less afraid. I liked being able to do that to him.
“That better?” he murmured.
I nodded.
I licked my lips. Okay, I was going to do this.
I slammed my eyes shut. I moved forward.
And he was in my mouth. My lips were pressed against my fingers, meaning that the whole of him was covered.
His skin was like satin against my tongue. So soft. I ran my tongue around his head in exploration.
He made a guttural noise.
Okay. I guessed that was good. And I was relieved to find that I didn’t find anything about it gross or weird. It was kind of neat, actually.
But I wasn’t really sure what to do from here. I guessed I was supposed to suck on it, right?
I started to do that.
His hand on my shoulder, squeezing. “Wait.”
Wait? I stopped.
His hand on the back of my head, gentle. “I just want to show you how to move, Miss Moss.” He guided my mouth, showing me to move up and down on him.
Oh. I felt like an idiot. Obviously, it would be like sex,
wouldn’t it? You wouldn’t really suck on it, not like a lollipop or something. Instead you’d go back and forth on it.
I let my hand start to slide in tandem with my mouth, so that I was dragging my fist over him at the same time as I pulled my lips over him.
His guiding hand dropped away, and I heard his breath quicken. He rasped above me as I continued, gasping out something like, “Very good,” at one point.
I’d rendered him speechless. I’d affected him. The sensation of power from before surged up within me, feeding my strokes on him, making them more energetic.
His gasps got closer together.
And somehow it drove me to go quicker still. His pleasure drove me on. I liked hearing him sound so lost in sensation—knowing I was doing it to him.
“Miss... Moss.” His voice was ragged. “I’m going to... If you don’t want me in your mouth, then...”
But I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. And I wanted...
I wanted to feel his release, and I wanted it in my body. We were close right now, joined. I’d taken him in some primal way. If he didn’t finish in me, then I wasn’t sure if it would be quite as real.
But it still startled me when it happened.
It didn’t feel like what I thought it would feel like. I’d imagined that I’d feel something squirting into me. Instead, it was more like my mouth being filled up with a thick liquid, and it was instinctual to swallow it right away.
It didn’t really taste like anything. Or at least, if it did, it was too far back in my mouth to make contact with my taste buds. It was more that the texture of it was a little unpleasant.
I winced away from him, making a face.
He didn’t notice. His eyes were closed, and he was struggling to catch his breath.
That was awesome. He was beautiful that way. I did that to him, I realized. I liked that.
His eyes opened. He sank down next to me on the floor.
I felt a little shy for a minute, but it was only because there was so much adoration in his gaze, and he’d never really looked at me like that before.
Otherworldly Bad Boys: Three Complete Novels Page 39