by M. Malone
Even though I still couldn’t move well, my thoughts and memories were starting to come back. Bits and pieces from earlier in the day started to return. After flying back from Canada, we’d gone straight to the motel to get my stuff. I could remember that clearly. Matthias had been happy, smiling—something I was pretty sure was rare.
He loves me.
The thought made me smile. It was something I doubted he’d ever told another woman. Just the thought of other women around Matthias made the green-eyed monster roar in anger. I’d never been the jealous type before but with him, it was different. He was mine and a part of me felt that he’d always been mine.
But after the images of us together at the motel, things started to get fuzzy. Hazy images of lovemaking floated through my head; I could definitely remember us going at it hard. But after that, nothing. How could I just go to sleep and then not remember a damn thing?
For me to be in this position, someone had to have broken into the room, and I apparently slept through the whole thing.? My head pounded. None of this made any sense. The only way I would sleep through a break-in was if I’d been drugged beforehand.
Was that it? Had someone managed to slip me something before we even reached the motel?
Just then, the sound of a door opening jarred me from my thoughts. I attempted to look completely still and peaceful, hoping whoever it was would think I was still asleep.
“It’s no use pretending. I know you’re awake.”
The deep voice was immediately recognizable. Father.
Oh shit.
If he’s here, then that means I’m…
“Where am I?”
He chuckled lightly. “Back at home where you belong. Clearly I was asking too much of you with this mission.”
My heart sank. If I was back with the Family, then there was no way Matthias could find me. He wouldn’t be looking for me in London. And the Family had all the resources necessary to fly a body across the pond without anyone asking questions.
“So you drugged me and then put me on a plane?”
It was then that I discovered the room wasn’t dark. I’d just been too weak to open my eyes until now. But as I looked around, I could tell that I was tethered to an iron ring in the floor. There was a curtain preventing me from seeing the rest of the room.
I must be at the compound. Otherwise they wouldn’t care if I saw the room.
They’d inadvertently given something away here, and I didn’t think they even realized it. I smiled.
“How long have I been asleep?”
“Too long. Sabine was starting to get worried about you.” His voice was amused, as if he enjoyed allowing my friend to worry that I might not wake up.
Sadistic bastard.
“I was making progress. If you’d only given me more time—”
“Enough!”
His sudden shout ricocheted through the room, and I flinched away at the sound. My wrists were bound tightly together behind me, but instinct had me trying to raise them anyway, ready to ward off any blows. Every ORUS agent was trained for moments like this. No one could execute these types of missions without contemplating the reality of death.
I’d thought about this so many times and always thought I’d be more afraid. But I wasn’t really afraid for myself. My thoughts were for all the other people I’d let down. My mother. Sabine.
Matthias.
They were all going to suffer if I didn’t find a way out of this. My mother would wonder if my training had been lacking. She’d beat herself up thinking that she hadn’t done enough to prepare me.
Sabine would give up; I knew it. She’d always been softhearted, and the reality of this life had broken her in some ways. Without the hope of me coming for her, she’d lose the last bit of innocence that was keeping her the same little girl I used to play with. She’d be just like the other women here with soft voices and vacant expressions, empty inside and resigned to their fate. Just the thought of it broke me.
Then there was Matthias. My sweet Matt who’d grown up to be the fierce warrior that I always knew he would be. He’d gone from cold and closed-off to tentatively starting to trust again.
What was he thinking about my disappearance? Did he think I’d abandoned him? That thought hurt more than any other, and I curled into myself. Did he think I’d run and left him? Would he even look for me? Why had no one ever prepared me for this type of wound?
“He’s going to come for me. You know that.” I told the lie as if it were truth. My voice betrayed none of the pain inside. I could pride myself on that.
There was a rustling sound, like fabric sliding against fabric. Was he sitting down? From behind the curtain, I had no sense of the room where I was being held. But if I could hear him moving around, maybe I could get a sense of the layout.
“Yes. He will come for you. That is the whole point of this little exercise. You don't honestly think I would have gone to all this trouble for just you?”
There was a quiet satisfaction in his voice that terrified me.
He was right. Everything I knew about Matthias said he’d come for me. And he’d be walking into a trap.
“That’s what you were counting on,” I whispered. I felt like an idiot for not considering it before. Father was all about the endgame. His goal was to get to Matthias. If he couldn’t get to him in New York, then the next-best option was to force him to come back to where it all began.
“I wasn’t on a mission, was I?”
He didn’t speak for a moment, and I wondered if that was how he planned to torment me. Leave me here alone with my questions and my regret. But then he answered.
“No, you were on a mission. It just wasn’t the mission you thought it was.”
There was more rustling, and since my ears were trained to it now, I could tell that he was standing up, probably straightening his suit. King of all he surveyed. This was just another day to him. Business as usual.
“In two days’ time, this will all be over. Then I can finally finish this the way it should have been done years ago. You won’t rise from the dead a second time.”
A door closed, and I was alone again.
And all I could do was wait and pray. Pray that Matthias didn't come for me.
11
Matthias
A grenade. I needed a damn grenade. I was tired of waiting. I knew Noah said we needed to plan first, but every moment that ticked by was a moment she needed me.
My guns were ready. My vest and back holster were loaded down. I also had another piece strapped to my ankle. And then there were the knives. Those were a given. My favorites were the ones Noah had custom made for me. They were designed to slot into my vest undetected, but as this was a special occasion, I wanted more. So much more.
Those fuckers had taken Gemma. My Gemma. Did they really think I wouldn’t come for them? If so, they were seriously mistaken, because now it was time to blow some shit up.
More like shoot them in a noncritical part of their bodies, then have a little fun with knives, and then burn everything to the ground. I didn’t know what would happen next. I knew I wasn’t supposed to let that part of myself out. It was the programming. But I didn’t care, because for once, that monster was going to be good for something.
My mobile rang, and I answered on the first ring. “What?”
“I have the information you asked for.”
Dane.
Dane was the closest thing I’d had to a friend at ORUS before Noah. We hadn’t been super close, but we’d both come from the Family. Dane had been handed off to ORUS a couple of years before I had.
Back in the Family, we’d known each other peripherally. Dane had mostly kept to himself. He’d been a scrawny kid. Quiet. He’d mostly stayed under the radar. I wondered what the hell he’d had to do to get himself handed over to ORUS.
Once at ORUS, we’d just been agents. Neither one of us could ever talk about what had happened, how we had gotten there, or who we were before.
&
nbsp; But it had been Dane who had noticed what I’d been up to. He’d warned me, told me that going after the Family would have some dire consequences.
That’s where we were different. While Dane had been mostly surviving—being an agent, doing his job, and keeping his head down—I couldn’t live like that. I had to make things right.
Over the course of a year, Dane had kept me abreast of the Family’s movements until the last time we’d seen each other when he’d point-blank told me that the Family was coming for me. But had I listened? No. Like a bloody wanker, I’d thought I was untouchable. And now Gemma was paying for that mistake.
I’d texted Dane with an SOS as soon as Gemma was gone, hoping that the old ties would at least give me some direction.
“I found someone for you. He’s Family. He moved to New York three years ago. It looks like he’s been loaned out to the De Santos family, mostly drug running. He’s an intermediary, pretty much. I’ll text you his address.”
“Thank you. Listen, when this is over, you don’t owe me anything anymore. You should, you know, get on with your life and shit. If I were you, I’d get out of ORUS.”
There was a moment of silence. When Dane spoke, his voice was low but flat. “Not all of us are you, Matthias. Even when we were kids, you saw what was going on, and you opted to do something about it. That was never me. Maybe it’s time I learn to do more than just survive.”
I clamped my jaw to stamp out the well of emotion. When I spoke, it was through clenched teeth. “Yeah, mate. Thanks.”
“If you need any help going in to get her, you know where to find me.”
“Yeah, mate. I do.” I hung up and finished with the weapons. I had enough ammo to last one long-ass gunfight. And if and when I was out of weapons, I would let out the monster and kill them all. That sounded like a good plan to me. When I turned around, I stopped short. “Fuck, mate. What the fuck?”
Delaney was leaning in the doorway to the weapons room. “Are you going somewhere?”
“Get out of my way. I need to go get Gemma.”
Delaney crossed his arms, looking not at all like he was trying to move. The kid should really know better. It was funny that I referred to Delaney as the kid, because I was pretty sure Delaney was older than me. “No. You just got back. After everything that happened, don’t you think you need your team right now?”
“No. Gemma’s mine. Someone took her. I’m going to get her back.”
“Forgive me if I’m wrong, but when crazy Rafe came to this penthouse, didn’t we stand with Noah? When that fucking psychotic douche bag came after JJ and took the baby, didn’t we stand as a house? When Diana’s brothers tried to end her, didn’t we all fight together? What makes you any different?”
What the hell was that burning sensation in the center of my chest? It’s called emotions, asshole. “That was different. I’m just going to get information right now.”
“No, you’re not.”
I hated to do this. I really did. I’d always liked Delaney. But the kid was standing in the way, between me and Gemma. When I sauntered over to Delaney, the guy didn’t even flinch, which, honestly, I had to give him credit for. After all, I was armed to the teeth, and for the most part, a homicidal maniac. At least I felt that way right now.
“I don’t want to hurt you, so just pass on by. Let me go.”
“No. I’m not going to do that. We’re family, so where you go, we go.”
I didn’t really have time for this shit. “How about if I told you I was just running to the store for some milk, would you believe me?” Delaney just narrowed his eyes. “Listen. That was a friend of mine on the phone. He sent me a contact, and the bloke will get squirrely if I don’t show. I’m not letting any of you lot get in the way of my one chance to get information about Gemma. Do I make myself clear?”
Delaney seemed to ponder this, and then he stepped aside. “This is a mistake. Y Going in blind, without backup, that’s going to get you and her killed.”
“Haven’t you heard? I’m the Shadow. I’m impossible to kill.”
I turned with my weapons in hand and headed for the door. I only hoped I was right.
Gemma
“Oh, bloody hell.”
For the first time in a long time, I let myself slip into my natural accent. I’d been feigning being an American for so long that it had become the dominant one. But in times of stress, I became just another East End guttersnipe.
The damn ropes were tight. At some point a couple of hours ago, somebody had come in and moved me to a chair. I didn’t know why they hadn’t used zip ties. I at least knew how to break out of those. This rope shit was impossible. I couldn’t see what they’d done and without a visual, it would be nearly impossible to slip whatever knot they’d used.
I was more alert now. Unfortunately, that meant my mind was going a mile a minute. Going over every mistake, every piece of the plan I’d overlooked. Where had things gone wrong? The more I played it in my mind, the less sense it made. We’d been so careful. I had been so careful.
After returning from Toronto, we’d gone straight to the penthouse. Matthias and I had only gone back to the motel to get my things. It was so stupid. After all, they were only things. Why did I even leave the safety of the penthouse? Oh God, had they hurt Matthias? My whole plan was fucked. I was supposed to be out there helping civilians, saving the world, getting Father. I was supposed to walk away from this. But instead, I’d ended up right back where I’d started. And this time, there was no Matthias to look out for me, no one to protect me, no one but myself. You better figure that shit out.
Again, I tried the knot, more gently this time. I tried to determine the gauge and feel of it. This wasn’t like a pair of cuffs where I could simply break my thumb easily. These were bound tight on my wrist, giving no opportunity for movement. The way they chafed, I was pretty sure I’d have scars moving forward.
Yeah, if I lived that long… and because there was no way out, my brain kept playing the game of how did you end up here? My best guess was they’d had someone watching the penthouse. Sure, Matthias had taken hyper-evasive movements, but Father could have had someone watching me from the moment I arrived in New York, so they might have discovered the hotel I’d stayed in. It wasn’t the one they’d insisted I use. Truth be told, I didn’t make any mistake. But once again, my actions had put Matthias at risk.
Please, God, let him be okay.
The door creaked open, and I held still. I couldn’t talk as they’d gagged me when they moved me to the chair. So all I could do was pray.
“What the hell are you doing back here?”
That voice, it shouldn’t have filled me with a sense of relief, but it did. Shame, as well. Worry. And Sadness. Sabine had come to find me. The friend I was supposed to be saving was now on a mission to save me.
“You shouldn’t have come back for me.”
I craned my head as Sabine took out my gag. “I wasn’t supposed to leave you here this long. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” My friend shook her dark locks. “I didn’t want you to come back to this. No. I wouldn’t want this for anyone.”
“You are my friend, and I gave you my word. I told you I was going to come for you, and I did. It’s just not exactly the way I had planned.”
“You really shouldn’t have come back. I don’t know what this is going to mean for you.”
I narrowed my gaze on Sabine as she brushed her hair behind her ear. She had a dark bruise along her jaw. “Did someone hurt you?”
Sabine immediately flicked her hair so it covered her face. “It’s fine. We need to get you out of here. Let me see if I can do something about the ropes.”
While she was examining the ropes around my wrists, I mentally reviewed several exit strategies. “If we work together, we can get out of here. I just need to know how many guards are at the exits. The laundry room—the one with the tunnel—is that still open?”
It was a wild hope. I didn’t even kn
ow for sure where I was. I assumed that they’d taken me back to the warehouse in the UK, but there was no telling how long I’d been out. I could have been out an hour, and we might be in upstate New York. Hell, we could be down the street from Matthias right now, and he wouldn’t know. I wouldn’t know.
“Sabine, do you know where we are? Do you know—”
Sabine shook her head. “No, please don’t ask me that. Otherwise, they’ll make this look like a walk in the park.” She indicated the side of her face as she turned her head away and then went back to working on the ropes. It took several moments, but finally they loosened a little bit.
“There. You should be able to get one hand out and put it back. I pretty much worked at the same knot and just made a looser version of it. You should be able to get your hand in and out of this now.”
I pulled one hand out, wincing as the rope abraded my skin. “Jesus Christ.” My hand was raw and red. It was bleeding in a couple of spots where the skin had been scraped off. I might be able to reduce the burning sting if I had a first aid kit, but it was unlikely they had any of those here. “Listen to me. I know you’re scared, but I can protect you. There are people coming. All right? Help is on the way.”
“There’s no help on the way. No one is coming for me.”
“Sabine, look at me. I have someone who loves me. With me gone, he’s going to raise hell until he finds me. And he’s lethal. He will come for us. That’s what Father wanted all along. And when he comes, you're leaving with us.” I didn’t tell her that it was Matt from our childhood. The less she knew, the less she could inadvertently reveal.
Sabine narrowed her gaze and then brought out her bottle of water. “Drink this. Your man, he sounds almost as dangerous as this lot.” Her South London accent reminded me so much of my childhood. It reminded me so much of the horrors I’d left behind but of the good memories, as well.