“But do not all men and women feel this, William? I do not understand why my mother and her friends would want to avoid anything that would make you feel so giddy. “
“I do not believe most men take the time and attention to insure a woman experiences passion. I can assure you, I consider it a responsibility and a joy to help you find passion with me, Elizabeth. You are only just beginning to feel it, my love. There is more, much more. We have time, and we are going to go quite slow. There is no need to rush. I will not actually make you my wife in body until you are no longer afraid, even if it is not by the time we reach our marital bed. I love you too much to just ‘take you’ as is often crudely spoken.”
“When you and I join, we will be making love. I will show you my love for you with my body. But it will not be a good experience for you, unless you are able to let go of your fear absolutely,” Darcy said as he pulled her closer and gave her a brief kiss on her lips.
“I would expect that sometime in the next few days, your mother will want to have an audience with you. From what you have already told me of the conversation you overheard, I imagine that she is going to tell you something like this. I am going to speak as though I am your mother,” he said as Elizabeth smirked at him. “Now do not laugh at me, my love, I am trying to ease your fear.”
“Yes, sir, you are my mother. I am all ears,” she giggled.
He decided if he could make her laugh as he talked about this, it would ease her mind further.
“Now, Elizabeth, I need to talk with you about your duty to Mr. Darcy, about your duties in the marital bed. Do not smirk at me, girl, you will be the death of me,” William said in a high octave, pausing for a moment as Elizabeth hit him on the arm playfully. “You are to be married in just a few days, and as your husband is so quiet and disagreeable, and tall and big and quite demanding, he is most likely going to want to take you to his bed right after the wedding. Know that you must submit to him. You will lie on your back and he will just lift your gown a bit, and he will put his manhood into your secret place. It will hurt a great deal, but it will hurt less if you think of something pleasant, maybe like gallivanting off in the woods somewhere. Just be still, and close your eyes and think of something else, and soon it will be all over. Now, you must remember you are not to move, and you are not to make a sound. If you make sounds or appear to enjoy his attentions, he will think you wanton, and may even think you have not been faithful to him.”
“Afterwards, there will be blood and you will be in some pain, so he will most likely leave you alone for a few days. He is going to want an heir quite soon, so he may want to come to you every day. If he does, you will get pregnant even sooner. When you are with child, you can tell him he cannot come to you. If you bear him a male child on your first time; then he will perhaps be willing to let you alone, and you will have your child and his money and will be quite happy. Now after you have borne him a child, we will talk more, my child. I will then tell you of creative ways to let him know he can no longer come to your bed, like having a headache or your nerves. Mr. Darcy is so rich he will probably just find a mistress, and then you will not have to worry about it at all anymore.”
Elizabeth gasped, “William, you really think she will say something like that to me? What should I do if she wants to talk with me?”
“Well Elizabeth, if it were me I would tell her that you have already talked with your Aunt Gardiner, or some other woman that you know that is married', and that you know everything you need to know.“
“I want to tell you a couple things you need to know. Almost nothing I said AS YOU MOTHER is true. It is what society wishes women to know about relations. I believe, and I hope you will come to believe that nothing is improper in our marital bed,” he said as he kissed her softly and then continued.
“I fully intend on taking your gown completely off when I make love to you.” Elizabeth blushed almost crimson as he spoke, but Darcy continued, “You know you are quite beautiful when you blush, my Lizzy? Back to the lesson -- it is my hope that you will move, and that you will make sounds, and that you will let me know exactly how happy you are in my bed.”
Elizabeth’s cheeks were scarlet red, but she did look him in the eyes. Then she did something that truly surprised him when she said with her head cocked, raising her brow, “If you are to completely remove my gown, will I be allowed to remove your clothes as well, William?”
He lifted her onto his lap and pulled her around the waist towards him with one hand, as the other lifted her chin so she looked directly into his eyes. With a bright smile, he said, “Ah, my impertinent minx,” and he lowered his lips to hers.
He kissed her deep and long. His lips were firm and strong, but the soft wetness was something Elizabeth could not explain. His lips caressed one lip and then the other as he coaxed her lips to open. He nibbled just slightly on her lower lips, and then ran his tongue along the crease of her lips, as she slowly found her mouth opening of its own accord. Somewhere in her, a moan began. It startled her, but delighted William as he deepened the kiss.
As she felt his tongue invade her mouth, she thought she would faint. It was startling, but his tongue seemed to have a mind of its own. It ran along the length of her teeth, it circled around the inner edges of her mouth, and then it began to do war with her tongue. Tentatively her tongue began its duel with his. She just lightly moved it back and forth to touch his and then pull back. She found her tongue circling his as their tongues waltzed a Pas de deux.
A gasp escaped from Elizabeth, and Darcy pulled back to look at her. Her eyes looked drunk with passion. He was utterly delighted. Her kisses were sheer ecstasy. He gazed at her with such tenderness, that tears began to slip from the corners of her eyes.
“Lizzy, are you all right?” he asked with concern as he witnessed her tears.
“Oh William, these are tears of joy. I… ah… I just never imagined that I could feel this way. Such joy,” she said as she gazed into his eyes and a couple tears slipped from her eyes.
He reached up to wipe them away with his finger, and then brought his finger to his lips and licked it, “Ah, tears like honeysuckle." He paused and brought his hand up; allowing the back of his fingers to gently stroke the side of her face. Elizabeth, I love you. I have something for you. It arrived from Pemberley late yesterday.”
He reached into his pocket and brought out a blue velvet box. They had their arms around each other gazing into each other’s eyes, and alternating to the box. He pulled back slightly to open the box, and pulled the ring out. “Elizabeth, this ring was my mother’s and my grandmother’s before her, and my great grandmother’s. I never imagined I could love another as I love you, and I vow to do everything I can to make you happy one day at a time, for the rest of our days. I have already asked before, but I ask again. Will you marry me, my dearest love, my precious Lizzy?” And Darcy slipped the ring over the fourth finger of her left hand.
Elizabeth looked down at a square cut ruby surrounded by diamonds and looked back up at him. He thought that he would drown in her adoring eyes. “Oh yes, William. Yes, I will marry you,” and in a quieter, almost shy voice she whispered the words he had been longing to hear. “I love you, William.” She reached up to kiss him, initiating the kiss this time.
As their interlude in the glen came to an end, Darcy and Elizabeth walked back to Longbourn. While they were off the main road, they walked with their fingers intertwined, occasionally glancing at each other. They enjoyed small talk; discussed when different guests were arriving for the wedding, and talked about the service itself. Significant details perhaps, but neither was really attending to them in earnest as they were both too entranced with their growing intimacy.
Darcy knew they would be back at Longbourn all too soon and knew, just knew he had to taste her lips once more. Spontaneously, he veered off the path, and laughingly pulled Elizabeth with him. As soon as he was sure they were far enough off the road, he pulled Elizabeth towards him once more and plac
ed a hand on each of her cheeks, staring longingly into her eyes.
“My love, I just have to kiss you once more before I return you to your house.” He rang a finger along the very light crease in her forehead and said, “I love your forehead,” and kissed it. “And I love your brows, particularly when they are impertinently raised in my direction,” and he kissed one brow and then the other. “I love your eyes. They are what first bewitched me, you know, deep and rich emerald pools,” and he kissed one eye and then the other.
Elizabeth opened her eyes to look into his as he continued his journey. “I love this sweet button of a nose,” and he kissed her nose. “And oh, how I love your lips,” and he kissed her lips once, twice, three times; intense and deep kisses, but not prolonged. “And I love your cheekbones, high cheekbones like a Grecian goddess,” and he kissed her cheekbones, first the one and then the other.
Then he slightly turned her head and whispered into her ear as he touched her lobe, “I believe that I have love this part, right here, since you first turned your head after requesting that I take you to your sister when you came to Netherfield.” With that, he took her lobe into his mouth.
He suckled and nibbled as she softly moaned, “Oh, William, yes, William, oh that feels heavenly.” Then he stopped and dropped again to her mouth. He kissed her lightly and gazing into her eyes, smiling a deep rich smile. She could see his dimples and his teeth.
“Elizabeth, tomorrow I would like to take you for a breakfast picnic. Would you like that?” Darcy asked.
“A breakfast picnic? You mean bring our breakfast with us on our walk?” Elizabeth questioned.
“Something like that. Would that be acceptable to you, my love?
“Yes, I would like that.”
“Then you should mention to your father later that we plan to be gone a little longer than our normal walk, and that you will not be back for breakfast. It would not do to have him worry after you. I know you are his favourite. He would be quite upset with me if he thought you had come to any harm.”
Elizabeth giggled lightly, “Yes, my father has always thought me the most sensible of his daughters. I am not so sure, however, I have been sensible lately.”
“Sensible enough for me, my dear. Now let us return to Longbourn. I believe we are to join your family for breakfast.”
Chapter 8
4 December 1811
Darcy and Elizabeth walked arm in arm, enjoying the morning conversation on the way to their glen. They were both rejoicing in their increasing intimacy, and the comfort they had with each other.
“William, tell me about your adventures as a young boy. Did the young Fitzwilliam get into any mischief?” Elizabeth entreated him to share with a bright smile.
“Mischief, hmmm. Well, one of my earliest memories was a time I got angry with my parents and attempted to escape the house on my pony, Sunburst. I was but four or five years of age at the time. Father saw me trying to saddle him myself, and he came out to ask if he could help. When he asked where I was going, I told him I was running away. His friend was with him, and they asked if they could run away with me. I thought it sounded like fun for all of us to run away! We went riding for probably only a couple hours, and I was so tired when we returned that I went straight to bed. The next day he told me to let him know anytime I wanted to run away, as he would be glad to go with me,” Darcy chuckled and suddenly stopped speaking, smiling at her, a little in shock. “Elizabeth, I believe the friend was your father. We will have to ask him if he happens to remember the time I ran away.”
“Oh, if it was him, I am certain that he will recall it. He has a very keen memory, and he has often teased me about the time I ran away because I did not want to take a bath,” Elizabeth smirked at Darcy.
Darcy laughed, “How old were you?”
“Oh, I believe I was also around four or five. I hid in a tree, and my family continued to call me. I could see them down below, but I was determined not to let them know where I was. Father must have seen me though, because he came out and sat below my tree with some of my favourite lemon tarts. He sat there eating them, knowing that my stomach would eventually lead me home,” Elizabeth laughed.
“I believe I would have liked you as a child, Lizzy,” he said as he turned to her and kissed her on the cheek.
Lizzy smiled up at him, “I believe I would have liked five year-old Fitzwilliam as well.” Then she reached up and kissed him on the cheek.
They continued to talk of their childhoods, and then began to talk about whether their children would inherit their tendency to run away, until they reached their destination. Darcy and Elizabeth pleasantly relaxed on a blanket spread out in front of a log in what they now called their glen. Darcy had brought a picnic basket that Bingley's cook had prepared for him. It was filled with three different cheeses, some crusty bread, a couple of scones, some rare fruit he had brought back from London, and a bottle of wine.
They were seated with their backs against the log, enjoying their meal. Darcy was teasing her with little bites of food he served with his fingers. He had begun to play a game lovers often play, using cuisine as a part of his seduction. Elizabeth had no idea what effect she had on him. Her innocence, in addition to her playful and carefree nature, had returned. She found that she liked Darcy's reaction when she caught, and either licked or nibbled his fingers as he fed her.
For Darcy, there was nothing about what he was doing that morning that was innocent. In fact, it was quite the opposite. In his determination to allay her fears about marital relations, he had been quite calculating. He had planned the agenda for this morning’s repast, and today’s "lesson", before he left Netherfield. He was slowly advancing his attentions to his fiancée.
Part of him, the proper and restrained gentlemen, was a little shocked by his calculations; but the lover inside him was concerned for Elizabeth. She had asked him to help her understand the conversation she had overheard. He knew if he desired a free and open level of intimacy, he had to educate her in the ways of love.
Darcy was no rake. The end goal was not to conquer and abandon. His goal was to make Elizabeth his wife in every way within the next week. He believed there should be nothing but openness and honesty between them as a married couple. His heart's desire was for propriety and societal notions to have no place in the Master or the Mistress' chambers. Darcy had been alone all his life. Now that he was to marry, he intended to sleep with his wife each night, whether it included physical intimacies or not.
He had chosen carefully when he planned this breakfast picnic, as he had picked only food that could be eaten by hand. It was always his intention to feed her. He delighted in kissing crumbs away from her lips. And he was thrilled with her improvisation, particularly kissing or nibbling his fingers as he fed her. She had even surprised him by feeding him as well.
He had plans for the blanket. Every time he lifted the wine glass to his lips and then hers. He gave her a long, deep kiss. The sweetness of tasting the very essence of her mouth -- strawberry lips -- and duelling with her nimble tongue enthralled him. It did not take them long before they abandoned their meal in pursuit of more delightful activity.
Elizabeth took it upon herself to move to his lap. In her innocence she did not hesitate to straddle his legs. She was thrilled with being even with his mouth. Remembering Darcy's lesson from the day before, she cupped his cheeks and kissed all the way down his face; beginning with his forehead and ending with his mouth. He was thrilled, and his erection jolted to life when she suckled his tongue.
With a husky, slightly breathless voice, he said, "Ah, I see that my bride is a most excellent student."
With a giggle, she said, "It is my goal to graduate with honours, sir." Then she moved forward to suckle his ear lobe.
"Well, you most assuredly are becoming quite a proficient in this particular lesson," and he groaned as her tongue explored the contours of his ear. "It is definitely to the advantage of your professor that you desire to be a true proficient
. Even better that you are willing to practice quite diligently." Her neck was in his sights as she was delightfully exploring his ear, and he began kissing the stretch of her neck.
She slid even higher onto his lap, and he knew the moment her womanhood came in touch with his erection. His groan grew to an intensity that it caused her to stop and ask breathlessly, "William are you all right? Am I doing something wrong?"
Barely able to speak, Darcy remembered the lessons from the courtesan so long ago; how to control his breathing and his muscle tension, and even his thoughts in order to prolong his erection. He knew it would require every element of restraint he could garner to be able to continue in this endeavour without taking her innocence. But he was determined to only move a step or two at a time.
"I am fine, my love," he said with quiet restraint.
Elizabeth did not realize what she was doing as she gently rocked back and forth against his manhood. She became more and more breathless, and with a quiet, embarrassed voice she stopped kissing long enough to ask, "William, what is this? It seems to have sprung up suddenly?" She reached down and touched his manhood through his breeches.
"Oh, God, Lizzy. Give me just a moment." He pulled away slightly and took a calming breath as he pulled her against his chest and tucked her head into his neck. After a short time, he pulled back and looked deeply into her eyes, "You wished to learn, so I will tell you. What you feel is my manhood. As I get more… ah… excited, as passion begins to effect me, it gets harder and becomes more upright. Passion prepares that part of my body so it will more easily enter your secret place when we join as man and wife. Do you know of your secret place?”
Elizabeth blushed and nodded her head.
"Does this help you understand a little?" Darcy asked.
"Yes, a little. But, does that mean you wish for us to join as man and wife now?" She quietly asked.
White Lies and Other Half Truths Page 7