Another whistle blew, and the kids jumped up in the air for the ball. Steve’s team won possession, and the game began.
Sierra was easily able to follow the game, as she was a fan of basketball on both the college and professional level. She cheered on Malik and his team but found herself mostly staring at Steve. He was very impressive as a coach. The kids clearly respected him: they intently listened to his directives. They were also winning. This was something Steve was good at.
The game went on, and Sierra continued to be mesmerized by the way that Steve moved and directed and listened. At one point, he glanced over at the crowd and saw Sierra watching him. A smile spread across his face, and he returned her gaze for a moment—a second that, to Sierra, felt like an hour. He turned his head back around to focus on the game, and Sierra felt her heart catch.
Stefani nudged her. “What was that about?” she whispered.
Sierra straightened her shoulders and tried to act as if she had no idea what Stefani was talking about. “What do you mean?”
Stefani wasn’t deterred. “I mean, why is Steve looking at you like he’s starving and you’re his next meal?”
Sierra laughed at the analogy and then shrugged. “I have no idea.”
“Oh, no?” Stefani questioned. But she didn’t press her any further.
The buzzer sounded, signaling the end of the game. As the bleachers began to clear out with parents and supporters either leaving or going down to collect their kid, Stefani and Devon kept up happy chatter. Together, their little group walked down the bleachers to meet Malik on the sidelines.
Sierra talked to Malik and the other boys while trying not to make eye contact with Steve. She knew that she should leave now, and yet her body seemed glued to the spot as if by its own volition. It wanted to stay close to Steve.
She felt a warm hand touch her arm. “So, you had a good time,” Steve offered.
Sierra nodded. “I did.”
“We’re going to head out,” Stefani called out just then. “Do you want to walk out with us, Sierra?”
Just as Sierra was about to say yes, she felt that touch on her arm again, and those eyes that had been haunting her thoughts called her back.
“Do you think I can talk to you for a second?” Steve asked.
Before Sierra could even think about answering, Stefani answered for her. “Sure you can. We’ll catch you guys later.” She passed a conspiratorial look to Steve before turning away.
Sierra should have been upset, but she found herself amused again—at Stefani’s perceptiveness, and at the fact that she wanted to try and play matchmaker.
Sierra waved good-bye and watched Stefani and her family walk out so that she could look at something to steady herself before facing Steve.
When she looked at Steve again, he was watching her. They looked at each other for a full minute, and Sierra didn’t turn away this time; instead, she allowed the excitement that was always ignited by his nearness to flow through her.
Steve smiled the way he always did. “I’m really glad you came. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Sierra said, unable to come up with anything else to say.
Steve’s gaze moved away from her eyes, and he looked her up and down from head to feet. “You look good.”
Sierra tried her hardest to have no reaction to his compliment but couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face. “Thank you.”
“I was wondering what you were doing with the rest of your day,” Steve continued.
“Why?” Sierra was immediately suspicious.
“Well, I was thinking that we could spend it together.”
She automatically began to shake her head in the negative. “That’s not a good idea.”
Steve wasn’t deterred. “Why isn’t it a good idea?”
“I already told you,” Sierra reminded him.
“You said that you don’t date clients. I’m no longer your client, so that no longer applies.”
Sierra hated that he was making sense, as she now had to come up with another reason for them not to spend time together. At least, that’s what her head was telling her. But she wasn’t so sure anymore if her head was running the show.
“So?” Steve solicited playfully.
“So, what?”
“So, will you spend the rest of the day with me?” Steve asked. He took her hand and linked their fingers together. When she let him, he pulled her just a little closer to him. “Come on, you know you want to,” he said softly.
And the truth was, she did. She really, really wanted to. She remembered her thoughts from earlier, when she had been questioning her bravery in relationships. Would she be brave now? She was becoming someone new—and she wasn’t sure of who that was, but she knew that she was brave. She was the kind of person who rode freedom buses and spent time in jail for what she believed in. She was daring.
Smiling, with boldness in her spirit, Sierra said, “Okay, let’s go.”
Chapter 22
They ended up deciding to go have a bite to eat at a steak house Steve suggested. He wanted to drive them there, but Sierra, still on guard, decided that she wanted to take her own car. So they set off from the school with Sierra following Steve.
The steak house was only fifteen minutes away. When they pulled into the parking lot, Steve waved for Sierra to take the first space, closest to the door, and found another one for himself a bit farther away. Before Sierra could get out of her car, Steve was already opening her door for her. He waited for her to get out and set the alarm; he then placed his hand on the small of her back and led her to the entrance. The sensation of his hand on her back made Sierra feel both cherished and safe at the same time.
The restaurant was just ending its lunch service and shifting to dinner, so it was relatively empty; they were immediately escorted to a booth. Seated across from each other with menus in their hands and water placed before them, they both picked up the menus and started to scan, leaving the table in silence. Sierra’s heart was beating a rapid drum-beat, a rhythm of exhilaration and trepidation.
Steve knew what he wanted to talk about, but he wanted to give Sierra a few minutes to settle in before he started his line of questioning. He was determined to get to the bottom of why she was fighting so hard against the attraction that they so obviously had toward one another. When he was with her, he felt alive and excited, and he was pretty sure she felt something similar. Yet for some reason she didn’t seem to want to experience these feelings. He wanted her to be just as excited about this attraction as he was, and if he could do anything to make her more comfortable, he would.
The waiter came back shortly and took their orders. They both ordered iced tea , and filet mignon with potatoes and green beans. The only place they differed was on the potatoes: she asked for hers baked, while he ordered his au gratin.
“I’ll bring bread as soon as I place the orders,” the waiter promised before disappearing.
Steve watched Sierra slowly sip her water.
“So . . .” he started.
“So . . .” Sierra repeated.
He smiled and began to ease into the conversation. “So, you had a good time at the game?”
“I told you that I did.”
“Do you follow basketball in general?”
“Yeah, I like NBA and college tournaments.”
“Did you ever play?” “No. I’ve never been all that athletic. I’m usually just an athletic supporter.”
Steve smiled. “Do you like to work out?
“I try to take walks regularly and go to the gym occasionally, but it’s not something I do on a consistent basis,” she admitted. “How about you? Do you work out?”
“Hey, I’m a coach, so I try to set a good example and work out whenever I can,” Steve said. “That usually means that I’m working out at least three or four times a week.”
Sierra smiled. “That’s impressive.”
“So are you,” Steve responded. He took his gaze fro
m her eyes for the first time and let it roam over her. “You certainly look like you work out.”
Sierra’s face flushed a little, but she merely nodded in response.
Seeing her physical reaction to his compliment, Steve thought this would be a good time to press her about their attraction. “You know, it’s okay to like it when I give you a compliment and to express that.”
Sierra frowned. “I know it’s okay to like a compliment and express that. I don’t need your permission.”
Steve smiled. At least he had ignited a heated response; he didn’t really mind that it was negative, as long as she was allowing her passion to shine through. “Okay, I got it,” he said, putting his hands in the air as if surrendering. “I’ve been put in my place.”
This time, Sierra smiled and visibly relaxed.
Steve was relieved that he seemed to be succeeding in putting her at ease and diffusing her hostility. He picked up the glass of iced tea the waiter had just dropped off and took a sip, noting that Sierra was watching him. Then he put the glass down and took her hand, which was lying on the table playing with the corner of her napkin.
“Do you know that it’s okay to like me?”
“No, I don’t know that,” Sierra responded.
Steve felt his whole body go tense with disappointment. “Why do you feel that it’s not okay?”
“I don’t think I know you well enough yet.”
Steve relaxed again, feeling hope return. Whatever this was, he felt confident that she would give it a chance. “You said ‘yet,’” he noted.
“Yes I did.”
They smiled at each other, and he gave her hand another squeeze before letting it go and making space for the waiter to put their entrees on the table.
“So, how long have you been coaching?” Sierra inquired after swallowing her first bite of steak.
“I’ve been doing it as long as I’ve been teaching—almost ten years now. The elementary school where I was working needed a coach for the intramural team and kind of asked the staff to see who would be interested. I’ve always liked basketball and used to play in high school and college, so it seemed like a good fit. I really like coaching. I feel as though it’s part of who I am . . .”
Sierra listened to Steve intently, liking him more and more as he spoke about his love of coaching and teaching. Passion dripped from his voice when he spoke of inspiring new generations and continuing to fight the good fight in education, even though the system and times in which he now taught made it continually harder and harder to maintain a level of enthusiasm. Between sometimes-apathetic students and parents, tighter and tighter restrictions on school curriculums, and the importance placed on tests, teaching was tough.
“How do you maintain your motivation, then?” she asked.
Steve shrugged. “I know that this is what I was born to do. And every time I’m teaching and coaching, I get an affirmation of that in my spirit. It makes me happy.”
Sierra felt a little envious of his sureness for a moment. But the feeling passed quickly, and was immediately replaced by a sense of happiness for him. He was so confident about his purpose; she found hope in his confidence.
“So, what about you?” Steve raised his eyebrows.
“What about me?”
“What makes you happiest—selling real estate or painting?”
Sierra was taken aback at his question, but only for a second. I’m the one who told him how much I love painting, she reminded herself. For some reason, she had allowed the truth to escape out of her spirit and through her lips. But then, doing so was starting to get easier for her.
“I guess the answer to that would be painting,” she said— and saying it out loud, she automatically felt an easiness come over her. She knew that she had just released something important into existence, and though sharing something so true made her feel vulnerable and scared, she was able to let that go and simply feel good about sharing it.
“So why aren’t you doing anything more artistic on a full-time basis?” Steve asked earnestly.
“I don’t know why,” Sierra said, and then she changed the subject. She’d made enough personal revelations for one day. For now, she just wanted to enjoy the rest of the meal.
Steve clearly saw that she was evading elaborating on the question, but he let her move on to other topics without protest. He didn’t press her any further.
They both continued to eat and fell into a companionable silence. They were having a good time. The food was good. The company was good.
Sierra was still perplexed as to how Steve could make her feel relaxed with his conversation and then make every fiber in her being stand at attention when she looked at him. The dichotomy of the two feelings left her in constant confusion about how she felt about him. Even with her heart tugging toward him and her resolve to be brave, she could still sense a wavering inside her—a desire to run from this unknown.
She could never really remember having sustained happiness for long periods of time. The joy and excitement that being with Steve brought couldn’t possibly lead to a happy ending—at least, that was where her mind was going now as they finished up their meal. She knew she was thinking too much, and yet having that knowledge didn’t stop the thoughts from flowing.
The waiter came and placed the check next to Steve’s water glass. Sierra looked at it and Steve looked at her, his gaze daring her to reach for it. Sierra threw up her hands, echoing his earlier gesture of mock surrender, and Steve took his wallet out and paid for the meal. After only a few moments, the waiter was back to pick up the check, and Sierra and Steve both shared a laugh at the speed with which he retrieved Steve’s credit card.
“So, now what?” Steve asked after their mutual guffaw was over and he had signed the receipt.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, what are you doing with the rest of your day?”
Sierra’s heart did another flip at the knowledge that Steve desired more of her time. But she also knew that she had already promised Dale she would go to the movies with him that night. The idea that perhaps she was being dishonest by agreeing to go out with Steve even though she was technically already dating Dale gave her pause, but she dismissed the thought; at this point in time, no one had agreed to exclusivity. This is just an innocent early dinner date, she reasoned, even as the hairs standing up on her arm while Steve helped her put on her coat said something different.
“Well?” Steve asked when she still didn’t answer.
“I have plans tonight,” Sierra responded honestly.
“Are you seeing anybody?” Steve asked, his voice suddenly a little less warm.
“Yes, I’m seeing someone,” Sierra said. She might as well be clear.
“Oh,” Steve said, betraying no reaction. He opened the front door for her and ushered her through. “How long have you guys been dating?”
Sierra didn’t answer until they were standing at her car door. “We actually just started dating,” she said as she pulled out her keys. “We’ve been out once.”
“Well, I want to see you too,” Steve said. He took Sierra’s hands into his own and kissed her fingers softly, one by one.
Sierra’s heart rate went up, and she could feel her breath quickening. “Umm, you mean tonight?” she asked, suddenly fuzzy. Every time Steve touched her she found focusing difficult.
“It doesn’t have to be tonight,” Steve said. “I’ll take today as enough for today. But I do want to see you again, and again, and again.”
Sierra shook her head, hoping to clear her thoughts and be able to give attention to something other than the touch of Steve’s lips against her skin. “I don’t know about that,” she said. But even she knew that her response wasn’t plausible. The attraction between the two of them was undeniable. She wanted to see him again as much as she needed her next breath for life.
Steve seemed to read what her eyes were saying as she gazed at his lips. He leaned down, and Sierra went up on her toes to meet h
im. Their mouths met in the middle, and as they came together, Sierra really couldn’t remember ever having experienced anything more wonderful.
The kiss was short and chaste, but then she felt Steve’s arms come around her, pulling her toward him and away from the car, and she didn’t stop him as he held her in his arms. Something in his embrace was so familiar, even in its uniqueness. She had known him before, somehow.
Maybe in another life, she thought.
He held her in his arms for several seconds that felt like an eternity. Eventually, Sierra remembered where they were— a parking lot outside a restaurant—and began to pull away. As she separated herself from Steve, she suddenly felt cold. She recognized that it probably had very little to do with the temperature outside.
Steve’s gaze was steady, and he refused to let her totally disconnect by breaking eye contact. “Sierra . . .” he started.
Just her name on his lips made Sierra want to say yes to whatever was coming next.
“Sierra,” he said again, “I like you. I want to see you. It doesn’t have to be anything official. I just want to spend time with you. I think we both deserve to see where this goes.”
Sierra had to admit that what Steve said made sense. Anyway, who was she kidding? She wanted to spend time with him too.
“Okay,” she said, her voice shaky. She let him take her keys and unlock her car for her. He opened her door and helped her into the car. Every touch of his hand was connected to her nerve endings, and her whole body was alert to his very nearness. She could smell his musky cologne; she inhaled as she dipped her head to get into the car, drawing the scent in.
“I’m going to call you later,” Steve promised.
“Okay,” she said. Steve closed her car door. She knew that he would wait for her to start her car and drive off safely before he walked away. She willed herself not to look back at him through the driver’s side window. She put the key into the ignition and then waved at him once more as casually as she could before pulling away and out of the parking lot.
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